Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Monday, March 4, 2013

Best Anti-Gay Marriage Ad Ever!

I posted this on the Facebook edition of Greenlee Gazette a day or so ago, but I think it's funny enough for the main page, don't you? Also, hey, check out the Facebook edition of Greenlee Gazette!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Mitch McConnell Falls for Obvious Satire

Oh, McTortoise. How embarrassing.

[Excerpt]

Mitch McConnell falls for parody news report about Guantanamo Bay prisoners being eligible for GI Bill benefits

A fake news story claiming that Guantanamo Bay prisoners can apply for GI Bill benefits found a credulous victim in Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who posed a serious query to the Pentagon about the unbelievable report. Wired reported that McConnell fell for a far-fetched story on The Duffel Blog, a parody news site with fake reports about the military. . .


Read more: New York Daily News

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Tim Tebow Skit from Saturday Night Live

When I watched this skit on Saturday Night, I thought it was cute. Kind of funny.  It wasn't riffing on religion or Christianity as much as it was riffing on excessive displays of religiosity. Saturday Night Live is  satire, and in satire, very little is off limits to my mind. Sure, SNL can sometimes be unfunny, and can veer off the rails all the way to offensive. But this wasn't offensive. Do you know how I know? Because Pat Freaking Robertson was offended. 'Nuff said. He doesn't matter.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

EXCLUSIVE: Rick Perry's First Presidential Application Was Rejected

Many of us have been made familiar with Rick Perry's memory lapses & his oft-repeated gaffes.
But did you know that his first attempt at filing his application for the presidency was rejected!?!?
He was unable to completely fill out the forms... Apparently, he had some trouble remembering a few things.

We've obtained some audio/video footage from a restaurant where Rick Perry & his staff were discussing the rejection notification. Obviously, they are attempting to clean things up before a big mess is made.

It provides a good insight into what Rick Perry is or may be... And may also help to explain some of the strange behavior.

The Rick! 2012!

video

SPOOOOOON!


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Great Holiday Gift Idea for Relatives with Babies... you know which ones...

This monkey has no little monkeys. Nor is there ever an intent to. I honestly don't believe I have the "stuff" required to raise a mini-me, particularly an infant version. However, I do love being an Uncle Monkey. All the fun, no real responsibility. Win, win.

Recently, I came across an invention that made me reconsider having kids. I think this would help me & many others quite a bit. It would make a great holiday gift... For any family member of yours that has a kid & shouldn't or for any of them that has a kid & really fucking shouldn't.

Waddaya thunk?

Happy Holidays. (Pardon the preceding commercial, if any)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Greenlee Gazette Exclusive: Herman Cain Makes Dramatic Exit from Town Hall Meeting


The Stupid Monkey Planet News Team were sent on assignment to cover a town hall meeting featuring Herman Cain & a few other lesser known candidates.

Of course, the press & public wouldn't let Cain's sexual harassment issue die. No matter how he tries they won't let it go. He did his best to move on to other subjects... but the evil liberal press just kept pushing him.

Before things got completely out of hand the the town hall moderator stepped in & decided to put the issue to rest once & for all.

The moderator announces that a simple test could prove whether or not Cain was some sort of serial sexual harassment assault monster incapable of controlling his urges... As so many women have made him out to be.

The moderator begins by calling all of the candidates to the front of the room. A visibly nervous Cain is seen on the far left.

With no further comment... We'll allow the footage speak for itself:


  video


Friday, September 30, 2011

The Onion Freaks Out Twitter Users

This could be used as proof that we're getting dumber. The Onion,a satirical website that has been around for frickin' ever tweeted some "breaking news" about Congress taking a bunch of school kids hostage. And Twitter users freaked out. It's not like Poe's law, where an extremist's views are indistinguishable from a parody of those views. This is The Onion, people!

[Excerpt]


The Onion Live Tweeting Congress Hostage 'Breaking News'



Satirical news publication The Onion broke the news on Twitter about an hour ago of a hostage situation involving Congress, but the story is not true and a number of Twitter users are saying it's not funny.

It all started with this tweet:

@ TheOnion : BREAKING: Witnesses reporting screams and gunfire heard inside Capitol building.
That was quickly followed up by this: "BREAKING: Capitol building being evacuated. 12 children held hostage by group of armed congressmen. . ."
Read more at: Huffington Post

Thanks to Stupid Monkey Planet for the link. 

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Stupid Monkey Planet: The Frothy Santorum Drink

Stupid Monkey Frothy Santorum:

Double Shot Glasses, cordials or small tumblers suggested

Need one glass for mixing & one for serving each guest

1 jigger rum
1½ jiggers apple juice
1 pinch cinnamon
1 chocolate covered peanut
1 tbsp. Whipped Cream (per drink)
Set aside: 1 tbsp. kosher salt & 1 tbsp. sugar mixed

Warm apple juice & cinnamon in microwave to desired temperature

Add rum & gently mix

Top with each drink with 1 tbsp. whipped cream

Lick phalanges choosing thumb, middle or index finger or combo (personal preference here) & mix vigorously until mixture is nice & frothy

Coat rim of selected drinking glass with flavored lube

Dip rim into salt, sugar mix

Add previously frothily phalanges mixed drink to each glass

Drop in one chocolate covered peanut

Enjoy.

There are some traditionalists that insist on adding a kernel of sweet corn too... Up to you.

With that suggestion in mind,  I say Halloween is upon us... Why not make it candy corn!!!


Fuck you Rick.

Mrs. Stupid Monkey is appalled at my recipe... so it's perfect.


Saturday, August 6, 2011

Pink Pistol Pops Penis

Image from Ruger
I believe in the Right To Bear Arms. I am a gun owner... Buuuuttt I think this right should have the equivalent of a driving test. Or like an 'Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?' type quiz. The Brady Bill just makes sure you're not a felon. Doesn't really touch on if you're a complete fucking idiot or not.

Stop me if you've heard this one... This guy walks out of the store, with his fiancee's pink pistol tucked in his front waistband (Hollywood style I presume)... ends up shooting himself... 

Thru the dick... went thru his leg too... but thru the dick seems more important here.

Why do you chamber (load) a pistol & then put it above your dick? I understand that you want to protect yourself... but why load it up & put it above your dick? Let's say there was a robbery & he goes for his loaded pink pistol... chances are strong that if he shot himself in the parking lot that he would have shot himself trying to whip it out. >rimshot<

About the pink thing... I guess to this gent the manliness of carrying a loaded pistol negates the fact that the gun is pink. To me a guy that chambers his gun & tucks it in his waistband is obviously going for the manly angle here, right? And, really, I am absolutely sure that most hardened grocery store robber types would be very threatened by a man wielding his fiancee's pink pistol... May as well be a purse.

After all this trouble to seem manly, macho, thug... whatever it is... You pop a cap in your own Johnson & essentially qualify yourself to carry a pink hand gun. And depending on how the surgery goes you may even get to carry a purse.

In conclusion, fucking idiots shouldn't own or use guns.


Read more about this primate with a pink pistol & extreme Prince Albert here

This Just In... The Waters Turned to Blood. (via: Walmart Apocalypse)


Looks like the Seventh Seal opened at Walmart is having an effect... More as the apocalypse develops.

The locals featured in this video do a fucking incredible job of summing it all up... Watch & take heed.

 

The end is near... You Stupid Monkeys.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Seventh Seal Opened... At Walmart.

Graphic by Stupid Monkey Planet
In case you missed it... Whilst all of the "debt ceiling" sewage was spewing out of every media orifice the Seventh Seal was broken by Walmart.

This monkey always believed that the end times would come from Walmart somehow.

See, what happened, about a week ago, a woman was kicked out of Walmart for dressing like a Walmart customer. Seriously. She opted to wear a bikini top (purchased at said store) with her shorts, leg brace & cane... along with her bald head, tattoos & well rounded beer belly. (Take a peek here.) She was asked to leave because the other customers were offended by her appearance... Let that sink in for a second. Later Walmart clarified & said she was violating their health code.

I knoooowww... I didn't know Walmart had a health code either.

 
How can you dress badly enough to be kicked out of Walmart???!!!
If this is not a sign of the coming apocalypse, I really don't know what would be??? 

She was escorted out of the sprawling giant's large automated entry doors; As they slid open 'there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.' (Rev. 8:1) (Wal. 1:13)

So, I wish you all the best of luck once the trumpets sound. See you in hell.

One last thing, if there is a bright side, she may have figured out a way for the employees to finally escape.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Sarah Palin's Self-Indulgent Movie Shown...

...in empty theater.

Even-so, here is a clip from this intense, self gratifying, delusional, documentary/biography.

To set it up for you, this is when she was deciding whom it should be to direct her film.


video

And thanks to Bart for summing it all up for me, beforehand...

Read more...


Monday, May 2, 2011

Stupid Monkey Planet on the Red Carpet

SMPN was lucky enough to have a photographer swoop down from the canopy at the White House Correspondents Dinner. We happened to catch a quick photo of "The Don-ald" on his way out...
He wasn't taking any questions.

On a footnote, his hair does look better.

Monday, December 13, 2010

MonkeyLeaks: New Plan from House Leader Boehner

We at SMPN were the fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of a video depicting John Boehner & his ambitious plan for the New Republic.
This video gives a very clear idea of what the Tan Man & Co. have in store for America. We get an inside look as to how the new house is looking to persuade policy & the American public as a whole.

Please do pardon me for the next thing I type... I am looking at you 'lefties'...

As a non-partisan in all of this & my monkey bias beside,
it is a sound plan.

Watch it!


Please look twice before you open your door this January, its a new world come 2011. Ideological policy may be coming to you... And it has fangs, super human strength & an attitude.

My apologies for any of the outrageous actions of my monkey brethren, should this new plan come to fruition...

It will. So, I guess I am already sorry.


Friday, December 10, 2010

Hope You had a Happy Chanukah

Chanukah ended yesterday for those monkeys who may be of Hebrewsapien descent. This Stupid Monkey has a long time friend that celebrates both the Christian spirit of Christmas, for his wife's faith and his own Jewish faith during Chanukah... Really, the kids don't mind!
Since this monkey isn't one to forget to respect the religiomonkeys in this world... Here is something for him & his family & all of the other Jewish faithful in this & other nations. Happy Holidays, whatever you believe.



Apologies to the currently down & out editor for the Adam Sandler/Neil Diamond post... It's still funny either way.
And besides that, this monkey's mom has a soft spot for "The Diamond" Neil.


Thursday, December 9, 2010

MonkeyLeaks: Stupid Monkey Planet Exclusive!

We here at Stupid Monkey Planet News (SMPN) were were lucky enough to capture video of a genuine senatorial debate process.

This isn't your typical CSPAN debate... We are behind closed doors... catching this candid debate from beginning to end.

For those more astute political students, it turns out the subject of the debate was irrelevant. Apparently, no matter the subject this is how it goes.

It is absolutely fascinating. Please take 2 minutes & 30 seconds to enlighten yourself... it may change the way you vote or your life.



Special thanks to the editor at Greenlee Gazette for giving Stupid Monkey Planet a forum to present our very own Monkeyleaks.

Hello from the Canopy


Hello All... Stupid Monkey Planet here. In my infinite, perhaps, divine wisdom I have decided to take the Greenlee Gazette down a notch or two for a few days. Something more cheerfully crude. And everyone is a target.

Sure, I am angry about politics/politicians, world affairs, money, war, religion and Stupid Monkeys everywhere... But the fact that we are Stupid Monkeys means we will never "get it". We, as a group, are too fucking dumb, predictable & dumb. (Math skills check...)

The world, for now, will be controlled by a few monkeys with a bunch of money that want more money, so they can buy shiny things & enlarge their penises... Or in Limbaugh's case to buy more little blue pills & Dominican Republic children.

I digress...

So, let us rejoice, crack a brewski & be light hearted. Let us celebrate this time of year with god, satan, Jebus, Santa, Walmart, Kmart, Target, shopping malls, Bill Oh'Really's War, Palin Power or whatever you monkeys worship.

I just think, as a Stupid Monkey group, we need to embrace the decline of Western Civilization we are lucky enough to be a part of & witness to.

Enjoy... Since I will probably end up bitching about something in the news before this run is over... but I will try not to.

Amen.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

GREENLEE GAZETTE EXCLUSIVE!!! CHENEY'S NEW HEART PUMP PHOTO!

We here at the Greenlee Gazette were lucky enough to receive an EXCLUSIVE photo of Cheney's new heart pump... Thankfully they found a matching donor. Sources report that BP is en route...



Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Lewis Black: Don't Take "Retard" Away!

Lewis Black is finally Back in Black on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, this time giving some choice analysis of that f**king retard,* Sarah Palin.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Back in Black - The R-Word
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis


* Once again, this term is said only in a satrical fashion, and is therefore immune from criticism, thus sayeth Palin.
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