Newt Gingrich Can Do All Three! Wives? Mistresses?

Newt with bug-eyed, helmet-haired Calista, former
mistress, most recent wife. Image from ScrapeTV.

Newt Gingrich inspired a gag reflex in me all the way back in the mid-90s, when he shut down the government. He was responsible for the birth of the current hyper-partisanship we may never dig out from under. He was responsible for the phrase "whiny titty baby," I'm pretty sure.

Newt is a thoroughly unlikable, doughy, pant-load (™The Stephanie Miller Show). So, the fact that Newt may win South Carolina. . .and even have the possibility of winning the GOP nomination is stunning. This man was shamed out of the speakership, and had to pay a six-figure fine. Since then, he's used various scams to enrich himself. He's married to the chick he was boffing when he was married to his second wife, who he was boffing when he was married to his first wife!

One of the deepest mysteries in life is the fact that Newt Gingrich (and one of his latest defenders, Rush Limbaugh) can be so hypersexual as to leave a trail of broken marriages and mistresses. And these are just the women we know about. Can you imagine lining up to be the next gal to make it with Newt (or Rush)? That is a lot of man-boob to lie beneath. >shudder<

Anyway, here's Newtie Patootie's latest stupid ad, where he says he can "do all three." Yay.