Blast from the Past: Schoolhouse Rock!

As I said earlier, the news is thin today, and I am among a small group of bloggers posting new things today. But I'm bored, and this is fun, so so what?

This batch of videos will also delight the 70s child in you, unless you're inner child is younger than that. If you're too young to remember these clips, do yourself a favor and watch them anyway, if only for the pop-culture knowledge. And hey, you might learn something. Enjoy.

#1: Preamble to the Constitution; #2: I'm Just a Bill; #3: Interjection!; #4: Three is a Magic Number

Blast from the Past: Classic Commercials #3

Hello, children of 70s! This is my third classic commercial roundup, and I think it has the strongest memory-whammies of the bunch. These are commercials you don't remember you remember, for the most part, but will trigger an "aha!" moment for almost all of you.

#1 - Tootsie Pops: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? I never found out either.

#2 - Nestle's Quik: You might remember the Quik bunny, but do you remember the song? You will.

#3 - Time for Timer!: Ever get a hankerin' for a hunk of cheese? Does it make you think of a wagon wheel? Even Family Guy lampooned this spot, featuring a strange character named "Timer" who (among other things) tried to get us to eat cheese for health reasons.

#4 - Fig Newton: Here's the tricky part! This video is included, even though it won't embed (what's with that?). It's such an important pop-culture moment, it must be viewed for it's over-the-top campiness. Just double-click it to bring up the full YouTube window.

Labor Day Laziness, On and Offline

Image from ArmisteadMaupin.com

Yes, Labor Day, the holiday supporting work by not doing any! I have to say, it is very welcome. Unlike the Other Half, who works for an airline, and gets the occasional three, four or even five days off or more in a row, I have the type of job most Americans have. Or is that "US Americans?" Miss Teen South Carolina has invaded my brain.

Anyway, my job has many plusses, but one of the minuses is that the odd three-day weekend is rare indeed. It's actually hard for me to believe it's Monday. It sure feels like a Sunday, and it's almost over at that. But other than some housework and errands, it has been a nice lazy day.

I finished a book that I feel like I only just started, Michael Tolliver Lives by Armistead Maupin. It's a sequel of sorts to the six-book series, Tales of the City. I heartily recommend anything by the author, and particularly the original series, and the televised versions.

It was great to catch up with the characters, but the many years since the last book, the three miniseries with cast changes along the way, and the knowledge that Michael is based somewhat on Armistead made it hard to focus on just who the characters were. And the ending, though a bit upbeat, left me feeling melancholy.

So, I signed on to the blog, fired up the Internet, and found--well, not much of anything. The news is sort of on hold, as are most of the blogs, so I am not alone. Actually, I sort of am alone, as very few readers have found me today. Maybe we all just needed a break. I'm sure when Countdown with Keith Olbermann starts in a few minutes, even Mr. Olbermann is probably away for the day. [Ed: Updated to say, the program isn't even on tonight]. Now, if I could just sleep in tomorrow.

I'll be back later this evening, if only for a couple of nice frivolous posts. I have a few fun things backlogged, even if they're (as usual) apropos of nothing. And as they say, "no news is good news," right?

Oh, and don't tell me that Bush's "surprise" visit to Iraq was news. I've seen enough of these photo-ops to recognize them by now, with or without a plastic turkey.

Gas Prices by the Percentages

Graphic from source, Autos.AOL.com

Sean Hannity, of the fair-and-balanced FOX "News" is fond of claiming that only 8 cents of every dollar spent on gasoline goes to the oil companies. Or sometimes 9 cents per gallon, as cited here: “Here’s what drives me nuts. The oil companies are making about 9 cents a gallon." (source: NewsHounds.us)

I find that hard to believe, especially when you consider that (except for taxes), oil companies make a percentage at each stage of production. Take a look at this breakdown:

[Excerpt]

Crude oil -- 57%
Finding the crude oil
Getting the crude oil out of the ground
Transporting the crude oil to the refinery
Maintaining a reserve capacity of crude oil
Profit
Refining the crude oil into gasoline -- 18%
Producing special blends of gasoline to meet local clean air government regulations
Transporting the gasoline to the gas station
Profit
Selling the gasoline at a station -- 11%
Operational costs
Marketing costs
Profit
Taxes, federal and state -- 20%

Read more at: Autos.AOL.com

GOP Sex Scandal: Coy Privette

Yes, yes, I did a comment on this story when it first broke. But with Larry Craig flushed down the resignation crapper, let's turn our attention one of the other GOP sex scandals (we have so many to choose from). By the way, what happened to that Larry Flynt list? I digress. . .

Back to Coy Privette. I find his picture hilarious, as he looks a great deal like Divine, the drag queen of John Waters' early movies. Beyond that, we get into the details of his (alleged) wrong-doing. No, it doesn't involve dressing as a 350-lb. transvestite. Though he wouldn't even have to change his name, would he?

[Excerpt]

All Muck is Local: Blank Check to Coy's Mistress Brings Trouble
Make room Craig, Vitter and Bob. Coy Privette (R-NC) wants to join the summer of scandal!

Privette, a 74-year old retired pastor, has pleaded guilty to six counts of soliciting a prostitute. Privette is a long-time participant in North Carolina politics, spending eight years in the state house and another nine as a commissioner of Cabarrus County. He is a staunch social conservative and, until recently, President of the Christian Action League.

The trouble started for Privette back in May, when an unnamed woman cashed a blank check with his signature on it. The woman had a second check, already written out for $4,000. She explained that the checks weren’t given to her, but to a friend who had asked her to cash them. Privette was alerted of the possible forgery; he said he had indeed lost the two checks and the bank refunded his money. Case closed. . . ?

Read the rest at: TPMMuckraker.com

That's Our Bush! His Plans After 2009

Photo from source, NewsMax.com

I found this revealing, and a little surprising. Bush is the focus of a new book about his Presidency, and has been candid with the author. Some of this seems like stuff that would be made up on The Onion, or on a liberal web site. Nope, it's from one of the very largest of the right-wing news/blog sites, NewsMax.com.

[Excerpt]

Bush made the revelations to Robert Draper, for his book “Dead Certain,” which will be released on Tuesday.

According to the New York Times, Bush told Draper:

• "I’ve got God’s shoulder to cry on, and I cry a lot. I’ll bet I’ve shed more tears than you can count as president" -- an implied reference to the casualties of the Iraq war.
  
• “I’ll give some speeches, just to replenish the ol’ coffers [when I leave office]. I don’t know what my dad gets — it’s more than 50-75” thousand dollars a speech, and “Clinton’s making a lot of money.”
  
• “We’ll have a nice place in Dallas,” where he will be running what he called “a fantastic Freedom Institute” promoting democracy around the world.
  
• “I can just envision getting in the car, getting bored, going down to the ranch.”
  
• “Sixty-two is really young, and yet I’ll be through with my presidency.”
  
• “[Right now] I’m playing for October-November. ... To get us in a position [in Iraq] where the presidential candidates will be comfortable about sustaining a presence” and “stay longer.”

There's more at NewsMax.com

and for a less wing-nutty take: ThinkProgress.org

"South Park" Might Outlast Simpsons

Photo from source, Reuters.com

Hat tip to AmericaBlog.com, which is where I first saw this news, even there a little late. But welcome news anyway, to somebody who likes his political satire liberally sprinkled with fart jokes. Yay, Matt & Trey!!! Keep it up!

[Excerpt]

"South Park" duo draw up lucrative deal

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - An animated series is redrawing the lines of television mega-deals.

The eye-popping $75 million pact announced Monday by Comedy Central and the creators of "South Park" may be the most prominent example of the Internet as a bona fide backend window alongside syndication and DVD. The duo of Matt Stone and Trey Parker will get a 50-50 ad split on digital platforms but not on television.

The new extension will bring three more 14-episode seasons -- the same volume Stone and Parker re-signed for in 2005. "Park" is in place now through 2011, bringing its stint at Comedy Central to 15 seasons going back to 1997.

Read more at Reuters.com

And, like I need an excuse. . . Why South Park is superior to Family Guy

GOP Hopes for Re-taking Senate Dimming

Photo of John Warner from source, WashingtonPost.com

That headline is good news if you're on my side of the aisle. What we need is a veto-proof majority, especially if a Republican retakes the White House. If there's a Democrat as our next president, a stiff majority in Congress is unnecessary, and maybe even a bad thing. The last thing we need is continued one-party rule, and a rubber-stamp Congress.

[Excerpt]

GOP Faces Growing Peril In 2008 Races
Senate Prospects Dimming

A Senate electoral playing field that was already wide open for 2008 has become considerably more perilous for Republicans with the retirement of Sen. John W. Warner (R-Va.) and the resignation of scandal-scarred Sen. Larry E. Craig (R-Idaho).

Republicans need a net gain of just one seat to take back control of the Senate, but they have 22 seats to defend, and campaign cash is conspicuously lacking. Warner's retirement raised to two the number of open Republican seats, and both of them -- in Virginia and Colorado -- are prime targets for Democrats.

Read the rest at: WashingtonPost.com

Raging Conservatives!

I guess with the bad week/month/year/century the Republicans are having, some conservatives have gone completely off their rockers!

In a comment on the story below (Air Show Collision Caught on Tape) on AOL, completely disconnected from the topic (a plane crash!)--this was posted:

valenciaroofing
03:38:23 PM Sep 02 2007

BLAME BUSH. BLAME BUSH. I'm so sick of you limeyass liberal pukes that sit here with NO JOB and complain that BUSH is the problem. YOU are the problem.

If I had my way..and you should be tahnking GOD for that, I would have all of you liberals lined up, shot and LIME dumped on your dead ass bodies.

LIBERALS are worthless.....unless you count fertilizer as having worth.

And YES....fascism has a place still on this Earth. America is a prime example of what can happen when you let the people do what they want. People are too stupid to have that type of control. One month of me in control...I would clean house. No more liberal programs, no more free money hand-outs, no more people invading the country (croosing mexican border) and definately NO MORE FREEDOM. Lock down America. It's what all of you need.

I think this hopelessly demented person was so worked into a lather that they posted to the wrong story. Or maybe it's like a reflex, a political Tourette's Syndrome-type reaction.

By the way, "valenciaroofing" is easily looked up in AOL's member's directory. He's a married, roofing contractor who probably either works at or owns Valencia Roofing. I can think of better ways to advertise.

Air Show Collision Caught on Tape

It has always been my belief that a sizeable percentage of air show patrons (and race car fans too) are there hoping to see a crash. At the very least, the thrill of the possibility is much of the appeal. After all, what are daredevil acrobatics for if not to be death defying?

A crowd in Poland may have gotten more than they bargained for at this show. Both pilots died, sadly. Rarely is a video of this nature framed so well by the photographer, and followed from beginning to end. Astonishing, and sad at the same time.



Link to the AOL/AP story

Fall TV: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

It has to be nerve-wracking to be a TV executive, responsible for programming decisions that make or break your company. Think of this fall show, The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Pros: A built-in audience, fans of The Terminator, and its sequels; and Internet buzz, building anticipation. Cons: It's probably expensive, The Terminator's glory days are long past; there is no involvement from original stars (no Arnold); it's a serialized drama, which takes audience commitment.

One of the biggest cons from this fan's point of view, is that it further tangles The Terminator continuity. The first film created a paradox, where John Conner sent his own future/past father back in time to protect his mother who would have died otherwise, thus preventing his birth. This headache-inducing time loop is par for the course in time travel stories, and goes with the territory.

Then the second movie (one of my favorite movies ever) played out a story that for the most part stuck to the previous continuity, and pretty much wrapped it up at the end. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines never felt like a good fit to me. It screws with the neat story line wrap-up of the previous film, without really explaining how or why the previous resolution didn't fix things.

It will be interesting to see if they use the standard movie-to-TV adaptation rule: loose continuity. Most of these sorts of series use the "vague history" method of alluding to the original material. It worked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Will it work here?

Despite the cons outweighing the pros, I'll be watching. I think I'll just expect it to be short-lived, sort of a multi-part Terminator 4, so that when it is inevitably cancelled early, I won't be disappointed!

Bill Maher's New Rules (and More) 8-31-07

Another good episode of Real Time with Bill Maher this past Friday. Mike Gravel was fun to hear from, and John Mellencamp was good to, except that his necklace kept banging the microphone. Here's a video that includes the opening parody commercial, a funny clip of Larry "dirty boy" Craig on Hardball years ago, and the "New Rules" for the week. Enjoy

In Praise of Pastafarianism: The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Image from source, Venganza.org

I've been meaning to write about The Flying Spaghetti Monster and Pastafarianism for some time, and was just waiting for an appropriate news story to peg the issue to.

I'm tired of waiting.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster was "created" as an illustrative point, during one of the fights to stop creationism from being taught in science class along-side evolution. Oh, excuse me, I meant to say "Intelligent Design" not "creationism," not that it matters. ID is merely creationism in fancy new clothes.

Anyway, springing from that (apparently successful) beginning, the idea seemed to catch on, for its originality, humor, and point of view.

There is some marvelously creative artwork on their web site, much of which is available for purchase. My favorite is the "Jesus Fish"-like car emblem.

Here is an excerpt of the Pastafarian doctrine.

[Excerpted from Wikipedia, see link below]

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.

2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia. . .

Though it is all very tongue-in-cheek, I have to wonder: will this turn into another Scientology someday? An invented religion that takes on a life of its own? It may well be on its way, as some people seem to be taking it pretty seriously.

So don't be surprised if you wander into what you think is an Italian restaurant, only to have people pray over your plate of pasta.

RAmen, brother, RAmen.

Read about FSM at: Venganza.org

and at Wikipedia.com

Iraqi-Americans Removed From Flight

Photo from source, RawStory.com

The goal of terrorism is to make us jumpy and scared, and to disrupt our way of life. The constant drumbeat from our own government is, "be afraid, be very afraid." And boy howdy, some of us are afraid.

Iraqi-Americans removed from flight for speaking Arabic
[Excerpt]

NBC News reported Thursday on an incident at the San Diego airport in which "an American airlines flight to Chicago was delayed because a passenger was scared of several Arabic-speaking men on board."

"Those men she heard talking? They were Iraqi-Americans, in town to train US Marines at Camp Pendleton," explained NBC's Brian Williams. The men were removed from the plane and questioned briefly before being released. The flight was canceled and all passengers caught other flights the next day.

Read the rest (and see the NBC Video) at: RawStory.com

Tap Three Times: Craig's Mating Call

One more comedy shot at Senator Larry Craig. Some enterprising musician has recorded a funny Tony Orlando parody of the scandal, and I had to share before it is no longer relevant. Enjoy.

Classic TV Themes: Dramas of the 80s (and 90s)

My previous posts' sidestep into frivolity led to this one. I realized that most of my "Classic TV" clips were from the 70s, and I was as much a "child" of the 80s--and even the 90s (I was immature), so I thought I'd branch out a bit.

First up, while I was still in my "comic book" phase (as if I ever left), I was a big fan of The Greatest American Hero, starring William Katt, Robert Culp (future father-in-law of Ray Romano on Everybody Loves Raymond), and Mrs. John Tesh, Connie Sellecca.

Second, the vastly underrated Remington Steele, starring the equally underrated Stephanie Zimbalist and future James Bond, Pierce Brosnan. Not to mention (future Ray Romano Mother on Everybody Loves Raymond) Doris Roberts.

Third, my guiltiest pleasure (I never missed an episode), Dynasty. Not well-written. Not well-acted. For some reason, addictive anyway. And the best use of a trumpet in a theme ever.

And last, a nineties entry, Melrose Place, which didn't kick into high gear until Dynasty alum Heather Locklear joined the cast (as perpetual guest star). And a great cast it was. Whatever happened to Andrew Shue, Josie Bissett and Thomas Calabro anyway?

Enjoy.

Fall TV: Desperate Housewives

Yes, back to absolute frivolity. I can't wait for the season premiere of this show, one of my guilty pleasures: Desperate Housewives. The title never fit, as I think one of the characters is actually a traditional housewife, but I don't care. It's one of the funniest, well-written and well-acted shows on TV, in my opinion. It's like Melrose Place, if it were a quality production instead of merely a confection. Even if they didn't know what to do with the (incredible) Alfre Woodard. And it looks like Edie lives! Yay!

Are Candidates Responsible for Donors' Behavior?

In this deeply partisan country (thanks, Karl), people tend to ignore their own party's foibles, while lambasting their opposition for everything they do. In the blogging world, this is very easy to do, and isn't always intentional.

In my case, I am one of those lefty liberals, and my choice in blog posts reflects that. But I've never felt married to the Democratic Party. It's just that the alternative holds zero appeal to me. So, yes, I tend to shine a bright light on the transgressions of Republicans. They provide ample material after all.

I am not averse, however, to covering Democratic foibles. One of the negative stories in Democrat-ville right now concerns political fundraiser, Norman Hsu. Apparently, he's a bad dude, and has raised lots of money for Hillary Clinton, and some for Barack Obama. I haven't covered this story thus far, but not for partisan reasons.

I'm just not sure that because this guy was a criminal, that it's the candidates' fault. Just like I don't think it's Mitt Romney's fault that he has a similar situation going on. But it is interesting, that the story that is unflattering to Democrats is the one getting the most play.

[Excerpt]

TV news outlets focused on Clinton fundraiser Hsu but ignored Romney finance co-chair Fabian's indictment for fraud

In recent days, NBC, CNN, and Fox News have all aired reports or discussed the case of Norman Hsu, who The Wall Street Journal suggested may have funneled illegal campaign contributions to Sen. Hillary Clinton.

However, when Mitt Romney's national finance committee co-chairman Alan Fabian was charged with mail fraud, money laundering, bankruptcy fraud, perjury and obstruction of justice, the three networks did not report or discuss it during programs available in the Nexis database. . .

Read more at: MediaMatters.org

Blogiversary: 3 Months! 530+ Posts!

Reaching around (no jokes!) to give myself a pat on the back, as the Greenlee Gazette reaches another set of minor milestones. I say minor, because compared to the big blogs, these are not terribly impressive. But given my inauspicious start at blogging, I'm kind of proud that I was able to stick it out this long.

I've had several friends and family members give me links to their blogs, which I dutifully plopped in my favorites list. None of those made it past a few weeks at best. This is not to criticize them, mind you, only to point out that I figured that's what would happen in my case as well. You get busy, life gets away from you, and the little blog idea loses appeal.

In my case, I think I desperately needed a hobby, and this filled the space perfectly. When confronted with "hobbies" on questionnaires, I really used to be stymied. Not anymore! And I'm not tuckered out yet.

My goal is to stick around at least through this political season. After that, we'll see where we are. I know my audience is limited, but I'd like to think I've had a little impact here and there. If nothing else, I have an outlet for my frustrations now, and mutter to myself a lot less than I used to.

Another benefit: I'm more knowledgeable of current events than I used to be, since I'm constantly looking for story ideas. I've also become better at spelling, for some reason. The more posts I write, the fewer typos the spell-checker finds. That's a good thing.

It is a challenge to fill this space on a daily basis, and I have to fight feeling guilty for some reason, if I've had a few light-posting days. I'm going to try to get over that one. If I miss a day here or there, hey I miss a day. But I'll try to stay as current as I can, and hopefully grow my audience.

As always, I appreciate all feedback, positive or negative. Comment on the stories, or drop me an email, I'd love to hear from you. And bring your friends!

CNN Spoofed: Craig/Teen Miss USA Mashup

OK, supposedly Sen. Craig is resigning tomorrow, so this drawn-out story (flogged here as badly as anywhere) will be wrapped up pretty soon. That said, I don't have many more chances to make light of it! This very funny spoof video manages to conflate the Craig story, and the moronic Teen Miss USA contestant. Well, I thought it was funny. . .