#DrainTheSwamp? Newsflash: The Swamp is Still There, and They've Elected Swamp Thing

One of the late additions to Trump campaign rhetoric was #DrainTheSwamp a hashtag for social media, and a commonly repeated phrase by Donald Trump and his surrogates. It was part of Kellyanne Conway's late-in-the-game efforts to make Trump seem more "presidential." Was it what pushed him to his unlikely victory? I don't know, to be honest. But it's just one more promise that Trump can't fulfill, and has in fact shown every sign of ignoring.

Trump Thing

Because the swamp is still there. Most career politicians will keep their jobs, or segue into different ones during the (hopefully brief) Trump reign. Mitch McConnell will still be Senate Majority Leader, and may finally complete his transition into a tortoise. Most of the Senate and House is intact. And the new White House? Well, looks like the cabinet is going to be crammed full of an otherwise hilarious melding of Trump's inner circle, and the cartoonish political faces that drive liberals crazy: Sarah Palin, Rudy Giuliani, Newt Gingrich, Rick Scott, undoubtedly Kellyanne Conway herself, and a rogue's gallery of other familiar faces. Still pretty swampy, and headed by Swamp Thing himself, the rotted pumpkin faced, lumbering ogre with the bad combover.

The one consolation that Democrats, liberals and progressives have is, that if Trump fails, it will be entirely, utterly of their own doing. He's got every available piece of government on the same side. He's got his crew all running it, and Kellyanne to play disciplinarian. If this thing goes off the rails (and I will be shocked, moreso than Tuesday night if it doesn't), they'll own every bit of it.

But, make no mistake. They're going to shed some of their current fan club regardless. Trump can't possibly deliver on a wealth of his promises. His "day one" pronouncements are impossible to achieve on day one. He's not going to #DrainTheSwamp. If he gets his wall, it's not going to be what he promised or envisioned. He'll likely get a recession or depression on his (again, hopefully brief) watch, and has no real tools to fix it. He's going to piss off the base by either shifting gears, or simply not being able to do what he promised to do. And he'll have a boatload of insiders as advisers and cabinet members. 

I have a lot more to say about this, but I'm going to have to do it in batches. More to come.

Idiocracy

I woke up this morning about five am. This after having stayed up nearly until two, watching the horror show that rolled on into the wee hours. When I woke up, I briefly wondered, "could that really have happened?" I mused for a few minutes that maybe something had happened to change things radically. That just maybe a miracle happened after I switched off the lights. But, when The Other Half awoke a little while later, and silently scrolled through his Facebook page without uttering even a sound, I knew that it wasn't to be. I knew he'd have nudged me awake with the news.

The world's worst winners (proven in the past) will gloat. Are gloating, I'm sure. I have no doubt. But I tell you, America, this one is different. Different in profound ways. Other losses were absorbable, for the most part. Though we may have hated it when our chosen candidate lost, we didn't fear for the future, didn't have this much trouble even envisioning what was coming down the pike. This time? I'll be honest, I hope I'm wrong, and that the machinery that is in place--the checks and balances--will hold, and that a President Trump isn't quite the disaster I think is coming.

But truthfully, I think a tragic error has occurred. I think the Trump hangover I predicted for Republicans will still come. Actually, I've said all along that win or lose, there would be a massive Trump hangover. I just was unsure whether we'd all have one, and now I know. We get it first, we Hillary voters (and those nutty, counterproductive Johnson and Stein voters, thanks for that, guys). And again, I hope I'm wrong.

This is going to take a while to process. 

Tremendous Hillary Clinton "Closing Argument" Ad to Katy Perry's Roar

Fabulously done, heartstring-pulling ad, to an uplifting song, with masterful imagery. Trump has nothing like this. Trump could do nothing like this. Go vote. Be heard. Defeat Orange Hitler!

HOLY SH*T (You've Got To Vote) [Funny or Die]

Hilarious and Hillary-ous. Important messages can really be driven home by humor, and this is the FUNNY side of Funny or Die. A must watch, trust me.

HOLY SH*T (You've Got To Vote) from Funny Or Die

Bill Maher's Whiny Little Bitch, Live! Facebook Comedy Special

There's not much time for anti-Donald Trump humor, so I'm attempting to get this Facebook Live video up on the blog for people to enjoy before the election. If it posts successfully, enjoy! And here's hoping that The Donald reverts to being a C- or D-list reality celebrity after Tuesday.

The Donald Trump Club! (Rocky Mountain Mike Parody-Palooza #5)

Who knew D-O-N-A-L-D T-R-U-M-P would fit so well into the Mickey Mouse Club theme song? Apparently, Rocky Mountain Mike did. And it's perfect.



EDITOR'S NOTE: I've been neglecting the blog a lot lately, and as such, I've also neglected to post a bunch of very funny, election-related song parodies by Rocky Mountain Mike. Not that the guy made famous on The Stephanie Miller Show needs my help, or is even affiliated with this blog. I'm just a fan who loves to share! So, please enjoy this and several other parodies.

For more Rocky Mountain Mike, go here. And buy his album, Politically Incoherent on Amazon!

Simply All Deplorable (Rocky Mountain Mike Parody-Palooza #4)

To be fair, Hillary Clinton said only half of Donald Trump's followers were in the basket of deplorables. But after feigning outrage (briefly), many of them took the insult as a badge of honor, so just point and laugh if they bring it up as something awful. Mike takes the famed Robert Palmer song, Simply Irresistible, and gives it a Trumpian twist.



EDITOR'S NOTE: I've been neglecting the blog a lot lately, and as such, I've also neglected to post a bunch of very funny, election-related song parodies by Rocky Mountain Mike. Not that the guy made famous on The Stephanie Miller Show needs my help, or is even affiliated with this blog. I'm just a fan who loves to share! So, please enjoy this and several other parodies.

For more Rocky Mountain Mike, go here. And buy his album, Politically Incoherent on Amazon!

The Flaven (Rocky Mountain Mike Parody-Palooza #3)

Though I'm a bit late for Halloween, Mike wasn't. This pitch-perfect redo of Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven ("flaven" being a favorite Jerry Lewis nonsense word on The Stephanie Miller Show) as narrated by voice master Richard Henzel is a must-listen. It tells the story of this horrifying election cycle.



EDITOR'S NOTE: I've been neglecting the blog a lot lately, and as such, I've also neglected to post a bunch of very funny, election-related song parodies by Rocky Mountain Mike. Not that the guy made famous on The Stephanie Miller Show needs my help, or is even affiliated with this blog. I'm just a fan who loves to share! So, please enjoy this and several other parodies.

For more Rocky Mountain Mike, go here. And buy his album, Politically Incoherent on Amazon!

You Only Vote Twice (Rocky Mountain Mike Parody-Palooza #2)

This one is about that lady, you know the one, the Trump supporter who voted twice, proving that voter fraud happens, but rarely. And rarely is it a Democrat! Worse, Trump has been encouraging people to do this, which is sure to result in future lawsuits. Rocky Mountain Mike, perfectly, uses the James Bond theme from You Only Live Twice to put the funny to this one.



EDITOR'S NOTE: I've been neglecting the blog a lot lately, and as such, I've also neglected to post a bunch of very funny, election-related song parodies by Rocky Mountain Mike. Not that the guy made famous on The Stephanie Miller Show needs my help, or is even affiliated with this blog. I'm just a fan who loves to share! So, please enjoy this and several other parodies.

For more Rocky Mountain Mike, go here. And buy his album, Politically Incoherent on Amazon!

Comey Comedian (Rocky Mountain Mike Parody-Palooza #1)

First up, we go very topical with Mike's take on the FBI/James Comey/Clinton Clusterf*ck. Based, naturally, on Culture Club's Karma Chameleon



EDITOR'S NOTE: I've been neglecting the blog a lot lately, and as such, I've also neglected to post a bunch of very funny, election-related song parodies by Rocky Mountain Mike. Not that the guy made famous on The Stephanie Miller Show needs my help, or is even affiliated with this blog. I'm just a fan who loves to share! So, please enjoy this and several other parodies.

For more Rocky Mountain Mike, go here. And buy his album, Politically Incoherent on Amazon!

President Barack Obama Stumps for Hillary Clinton in Bexley, Ohio

Photo by Greenlee Gazette staff photographer, Dona Roudabush

 It was worth the wait. After dodging some strong-arm GOTV tactics at a Hillary Clinton southside field office, obtaining tickets to the event at the OSU campus field office, waiting in line today for an hour, and then standing in an auditorium for three hours, we finally got to see and hear President Barack Obama. Aware that this would be our last chance to see Obama in person while he's still president, we went through the hoops to get the tickets, and endured the wait, and I'm glad we did.

Don't get me wrong, there were issues. One of them is just being stuck in a room with the same people for several hours with nothing much to do but wait. We couldn't even really sit (unless we wanted to have butts in our faces), because there were no bleachers but for the close-up red ticket holders. Worse, we only had the "doors open" time on our tickets, and had no idea when the prez was due to arrive. Had we known it would be three hours, we likely would have left, so I'm actually kind of glad we didn't know.  [Story continues below]



Also on the down side was the audio system at Bexley's Capital University Field House, which was wholly inadequate to the task, forcing Obama and other speakers to have to shout into the microphone. There should probably have been some sort of program, or even some kind of warmup act or something for the crowd to focus on for the first two hours of waiting. About 4:30, there started to be a few speakers, from Franklin County Prosecutor hopeful Zach Klein to Senate candidate Ted Strickland, and the university Dean. But that first two hours there was nothing, besides Capital's band playing off in a corner somewhere. We were getting restless, and our feet were getting tired.

Photo by Greenlee Gazette staff photographer,
Dona Roudabush

But then, the main event. President Obama arrived to thunderous applause, and boundless enthusiasm. This guy is still--quite obviously--loved by Democrats. You could be forgiven for almost forgetting that he wasn't running for anything! But he didn't give Hillary Clinton short shrift, not by a long shot. His was a full-throated, loud, clear endorsement of Clinton, and he was quite convincing. He gave Donald Trump some decent ribbing, to the point that Trump would be steaming if he were there. I hope someone shows him a highlight reel.

I'm gonna miss this guy. Clearly, a lot of people are. I'm glad I went.

Behind the Blogger: The Death of Blogging

Well, perhaps "death" is a little harsh, but it is Halloween, after all. But there is no doubt I've let my blog languish these last two years, and lately especially. I've addressed the matter several times, and tried to alternatively apologize and explain myself. The truth is, I'll always have this blog as long as the blogger service is available, and though it might get dusty and cobwebby, it will always be here. But, I'm now clearly prone to long stretches without blogging.

I guess since it's my own singular endeavor, and really pretty much a hobby, that's not so strange or even bad. But maybe a little sad. Because I do have a lot to say, there is a lot going on, and I feel like I can contribute--in my own small way--to public discourse. I know this, because even though I never had a huge audience, I did get eyeballs in here, sometimes quite a few. But ultimately this is for me, more than anyone. And I've found that with today's social media applications, and multiple devices at hand, constant "plugged-in" status, that getting those little zaps of catharsis come easier there. Coming here to write a blog post is destination surfing. I have to log in to the blogger software, I have to concentrate on writing a coherent post, or even posting a video, I have to do a certain amount of formatting.

Sometimes, that just isn't on my mind, not like it was in the blog's first six or seven years. I mean look at this year, it's both Halloween and the run up to probably the most consequential presidential election we've ever had, and there are crickets around here!

Still, I felt motivated to put this post up, and I'll likely get several more up between today and election day. If the unthinkable happens, and Orange Hitler gets voted in, something tells me my motivation to blog will go up. And maybe even if sanity prevails, all the crap Hillary Clinton will have dumped on her from day one will inspire me also.

No promises, but I'm going to try!

The Closer with Keith Olbermann: Trump Must Now Be Compelled to Withdraw

Keith Olbermann tears the lid off of the Trump campaign. Boy, I miss him.

Watch this video on The Scene.

When Trump Goes Low, Kathy Griffin Goes Lower!

I'm surprised Kathy Griffin missed the chance to go after Donald Trump as a "D-List" Reality Star (since that's what he is), or at least Kellyanne Conway as a "D-List" political operative (ditto). But this is pretty great, nonetheless.

Over Time with Bill Maher, October 14, 2016

Bill Maher and his Real Time panelists – Andrew Sullivan, Rebecca Traister and former Sen. Bob Kerrey – answer viewer questions after the show.

SNL Takes on Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump Debate Night #2

This is probably not their funniest take on the subject matter, but the stalking to the Jaws theme is pretty great.

Former "Reasonable Republican" Josh Barro Dumps Republican Party: ‘F–k It, I’m Out’

If you watch MSNBC very much, you've seen a pundit from Business Insider named Josh Barro. He's young, attractive and fit, and he's a Republican. An especially odd duck, a reasonable Republican. And this was before the recent wave of conservative commentators the network has insisted on presenting of late, in an effort to rebrand as a more serious, less explicitly liberal news channel.

Well, Barro used to be the reasonable Republican. Now, he's a reasonable Democrat.

[Excerpt]

Josh Barro Leaves GOP for Democratic Party: ‘F–k It, I’m Out’

Business Insider senior editor Josh Barro tweeted, “F–K it, I’m out,” with a link to an article explaining why he left the GOP to join the Democratic Party on Sunday – and just like that, the Republicans had one less member. . .

Read more at: San Francisco Gate

Samantha Bee's Newly Uncovered Lewd "Hot Mike" Gaffe

Yes, it's a joke. But very funny, and very fast!

Deplorable Donald: Is His Goose Cooked? Or Will Pence Leave Him to Roast?

The interesting question being asked by laypeople and insiders alike is: will Donald Trump drop out of the presidential race, now that he's landed in a scandal that isn't spinnable? He says he won't, but nobody knows what really will happen if this fire can't be put out.

If Trump quits, it's too late to reprint ballots with new contenders. And Mike Pence isn't an automatic lock for the top of the ticket, should that event come to pass. Still, many in the GOP are asking him to step down. Much more tantalizing, to me anyway, would be if Pence were to quit. The party wouldn't be left without a candidate, but Trump would be left without a rudder. So, the real question is, if The Donald has his heels dug in, will Pence decide it's career suicide to stick it out?

[Excerpt]

Amid growing calls to drop out, Trump vows to ‘never withdraw’

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump said in an interview Saturday that he would not drop out of the race under any circumstances, following calls from several prominent members of his party to do so.

“I’d never withdraw. I’ve never withdrawn in my life,” Trump told The Washington Post in a phone call from his home in Trump Tower in New York. “No, I’m not quitting this race. I have tremendous support.”

“People are calling and saying, ‘Don’t even think about doing anything else but running,” Trump said when asked about Republican defections. “You have to see what’s going on. The real story is that people have no idea about the support. I don’t know how that’s going to boil down, but people have no idea about the support. . .

Read more at: Washington Post

Donald Trump Mispronounces "Nevada" Braggadociously

How to make an ass of yourself in Nevada, by Donald Trump.
Image from source, Washington Post.

Many states have multiple pronunciations, even within their borders. Nobody, for instance, cares how you pronounce "Ohio." Most would agree--even those with heavy accents--that the proper pronunciation is ōˈhīō. You might put the emphasis on the HI, you might put it on both Os. But you can also say "uh-HI-uh," and you'll be fine. You can say Oh-HIGH-yo, and nobody will blink. But in other states, a wrong pronunciation means "outsider" and/or "rube." Don't say "orry-GONE" in Oregon. Don't say "i-oh-WAY" in Iowa. Don't say "arr-Kansas" in Arkansas. And whatever you do, don't say "Nuv-ODD-uh" in Nevada.

It's "Nev-ADD-uh." ADD not ODD. It may sound like a small thing, and frankly it is. But if you're looking to score points with the locals, you don't say it wrong. And nobody has said it so ostentatiously wrong. So spectacularly, braggadociously wrong. Nobody but Donald Trump.

[Excerpt]



Trump’s pronunciation of ‘Nevada’ draws scrutiny

RENO, Nev. – “Ne-VAHHHH-duh.”

That was Donald Trump at a rally here Wednesday, confidently demonstrating he understood the local pronunciation of this swing state by drawing out the second syllable for effect.

Except that locals don't say it that way. They say “Nev-AD-uh. . ."


Read more at: Washington Post