Yet Another Lazy Sunday (And Saturday, And Friday)

Image from MyCatHatesYou

Wow, what a wasted weekend! I almost feel guilty for what little I've accomplished. Almost. But while The Other Half's been away, I've enjoyed a little alone time. Besides a little computing time and a few errands, all I have accomplished is to watch a boatload of Angel episodes on DVD. It's the easiest weekend project I've worked on, really. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Haven't even gotten the Jeep top off yet, and didn't really care.

I did manage to squeeze in the Sunday morning political yak-fests, but they were all even less interesting than usual. More of the Sotomayer blabber we've been hearing all week. Nothing new there either, with the same single quote from 2001 being lobbed into the air as "proof" that she's a horrible, unstoppable racist. Or something.

Anyway, no matter how you slice it, I've been spending waaaayyyyy too much time in front of one type of screen or another. So before I actually develop a wave of guilt, I suppose I should accomplish something. I may be back later.

DVD Movie Review: Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1982)

Photo of Amy Steel from Dinner With

Max Jenke

I know what you're thinking, Friday the 13th again? Well, back when I was in my 20s, and too shy to date, I spent a lot of my time watching--and rewatching--horror movies on video. Video stores were the new thing, and cheesy horror movies were plentiful. The FT13th series had a lot to do with that, picking up on the success of Halloween, and creating the multi-sequel slasher series.

These days, when The Other Half is away on a trip, I sometimes revert to that twenty-something self, even if he's now double that age. And today, I made my way to Best Buy to buy the newly remastered first sequel to Friday. I'd hoped to find it on Blu-Ray, but have been unsuccessful in that quest. No matter, this version looks almost--but not quite--as clear as the remastered original, and has quite a few added features too.

Part 2 is as nearly a remake of Part 1, with a very similar vibe, just a different killer. For the first time, it is Jason Voorhees doing the slashing, and he learned a lot from his mother. The explanation for Jason's existence--when he supposedly drowned as a child--is fairly weak. But his survival is explained only by the speculation of characters five years removed from the original story. They could be wrong, they could be right. We'll never know. Because no further sequel--not even this year's remake--ever really says why Jason didn't drown. And yet, every Friday movie from this point hinges upon that fact!

Many Friday fans will tell you that Jason was a real man until Part VI, where he is resurrected as an all-powerful zombie. This isn't quite true, unless you can explain how he survived a machete-chop through his trapezius muscle, his collar bone, a couple of ribs, major blood vessels and probably his left lung and his heart. And then managed to not fall into two pieces, while retaining the ability to use his arm for several sequels!

Continuity was never very strong in these movies, though it didn't have time to unravel yet in this second movie. Jason looks like the logical grown up version of the (probably) hallucinated junior-sized Jason from the twist ending of Part 1. And while we're talking hallucinations, the ending of Part 2 may be a hallucination as well, if the opening of Part 3 is to be believed.

Good parts of the film: Amy Steel is terrific as the heroine, Ginny. Her VW Beetle convertible plays nearly as big a part, and is featured in an iconic scene. John Furey manages to stay alive (almost) to the end, and his survival has been speculated about by fans for 27 years. He must have made an impression, for anyone to care, right? Ginny's "child psychology" on Jason, with his imagining of his mother (Betsy Palmer) is a highlight of the film.

Not so good: Most of the rest of the cast is forgettable, not for their performances, but for the fact that the movie is so short. The intro rehashes Part 1, and follows the survivor of that film (Adrienne King) through her house for one of the longest pre-credit sequences in film history. This crams the rest of the film into seventy-something minutes, hardly time for us to care about the characters. Wheelchair guy (Tom McBride) was a promising character, but gets whacked (in an an impossibly staged death, unless Jason can become invisible) early. Half the cast departs to a bar, never to be seen again. But at least they survived!

The usual sex, nudity and pot smoking are here, though the skin is curiously given short shrift. A "fun times at the swimming hole" daylight scene is shot from afar, with almost no camera time for the fairly sexy cast. There is a fully naked girl--skinny dipping at night, like any normal person would do--but more attention is paid to the nearly naked, lanky nerd guy (Stuart Charno). Not sure what that's about.

All in all, this is not a classic film. It's nearly 100% nostalgia, though Amy Steel's acting nearly redeems it. But it is a must for the Friday fan, and I've never seen it looking (and sounding) this good. And it's fun to see Jason before he found his hockey mask (or about 100 extra pounds). Look for the actor who plays the maskless Jason (Warrington Gillette) as the tow truck driver earlier in the film.

Recommendation: For fans only

I wrote a Halloween recaplet of the entire series here:
Halloween Horrors: Guide to Friday the 13th

DVD Movie Review: The Happening

Image from Useless Jonk

EDITOR'S NOTE: I'd warn you that there may be spoilers in this review, but this movie couldn't possibly be spoiled.

It's a gloomy drizzly day here in Las Vegas. I had to get up early to go unlock the door at work, but I didn't have to stay. And The Other Half is away, so all of this felt like the perfect time to watch a couple of the DVDs we got at Christmas time.

One I've been eager to watch was M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening. I had heard some minor rumblings that it was a bad film, but I wasn't so sure. After all, the subject matter--a strange occurrence of mass suicides--was intriguing. The movie stars John Leguizamo, Betty Buckley and Mark Wahlberg, three outstanding actors. And the plot sounded right out of a Stephen King or Dean Koontz book. Besides, how bad could it be?

Bad. Oh, so bad. Worse than I ever would have imagined. I kept watching, because I couldn't believe how bad it was. The dialogue was strange. The characters interacted in ways that were completely alien to the situation. Not one character was believable. Little things were odd, like three people in the back seat of a Jeep Wrangler. That's some special effect, because two in the back of my Jeep would be almost impossible. Leguizamo's relationship with his daughter was strange. He continually picked her up and carried her, though she was far too old (and large!) for that, then dumps her off, and quickly exits the film (in a strangely off-screen death).

The movie started off semi-promisingly, with some bizarre behavior, leading to suicides. It segued into the classroom of science teacher, Wahlberg. His interactions with his class were completely unrealistic, and as the school learns of "the happening," every other interaction between characters was equally stilted. We learn that these suicides are spreading all over the northeast, and that smaller and smaller concentrations of people are being affected. Eventually--through incredibly bad dialogue and exposition--we learn that apparently the plants are pissed off at people, and have evolved a toxin that's killing us.

Maybe. You see, no one is ever quite sure. And the camera tries to capture this by showing wind in the trees and grass. . .which is actually shown to be chasing the people! Wahlberg is on the run with his wife (the horrifically bad Zooey Deschanel), who has--omigod!--had dessert with another man, and is feeling guilty about it. Um, what? They've also got Leguizamo's daughter in tow, and the three of them are with a group of people that gets progressively smaller. The movie meanders like a plotless dream, with our group happening upon a model house, a group of houses with homicidal occupants, and a farm house with crazy (Luddite? Amish?) Buckley. When Buckley meets Wahlberg, she carries on a one-sided conversation with him, while he remains mute. Why? I don't know.

Wahlberg, Deschanel and the little girl ultimately survive (as you'd expect they would) when the happening stops happening for no discernible reason. More exposition shows that no one is really quite sure what happened or why. And then it happens again, in France. That's it. No twist ending. No climax. No payoff. It sucked. Hard.

There isn't a stretch of dialogue, or any bit of human interaction in this film that is remotely believable. The acting. . .I want to say it's bad. . .but that's not the right adjective. It's strange. And not just in the "creepy" parts, through the entire picture. Ordinarily, you'd think Marky Mark could carry the film with his acting chops, and the fact that he's a hottie. But no. He can't.

And what is it with this "name above the title" director/producer/writer Shyamalan, anyway? The Sixth Sense was OK, I guess, though I had the ending spoiled for me. Signs was OK too, though I preferred the spoof of it in Scary Movie 3. The Village kind of blew. And The Lady in the Water got such bad reviews, I didn't bother. With this latest film, I wonder if any studio is going to allow this guy to do all the work. He needs help. He needs it badly.

My review: Avoid at all costs. Don't even watch it for free.

Greenlee Gazette Christmas Gift Guide: DVD Box Sets

In an attempt to inject a little holiday cheer into an otherwise overly dour blog, I'm trying to post a Christmas-themed post every day or so. Some are re-runs, and others are new. This is a guide to some TV series DVD box sets I wrote several months ago, and it may provide you some ideas for your last-minute gift buying.

I intended to do additional parts to this post when I wrote it, and may take the time over the next few days to do just that. For now, here is part 1.

[Original Post]

All images from source, Wikipedia

I've recently started collecting a few of my favorite TV shows on DVD. It started innocently enough with an impulse purchase of Wonder Woman, season one. I was a big fan of the show--and super heroes in general--back when I was a kid. After getting the first season I simply had to have the other two (actually there were four seasons, but the first two seasons were so sporadic, they counted them as one).

After that, I bought Laverne & Shirley's and Bewitched's first season. Then I discovered a terrific website called DeepDiscount.com.* They have great prices to begin with, and free shipping, but it gets even better when they have sales. At Christmas time, they were running a buy-one-get-one-free sale, and it included an all-time favorite of mine, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Mom bought me the whole set. Next, I'll have to get Angel. Since then, I've amassed a few more. Here's a mini review of each, should you be interested in acquiring any of these titles.

Wonder Woman (Season's 1 - 3) - Lynda Carter is terrific in the title role, and the series is a great deal of nostalgic fun. If you've never seen it before, it probably won't hold up as well. The show has dreadful pacing (which is true of many 70s dramas), but manages to be colorful and fun. Just fast forward through the long tracking shots of cars arriving and departing and the like. The set contains a few--if sparse--extra features. Recommended for fans only.

Laverne & Shirley (Seasons 1 - 3) - Again, my impressions are colored by a nostalgic love for the show, but I believe it holds up pretty well. It is helped by being set in the 50s and 60s, and so looking dated is a given. The show belongs in the "classic" category, along with I Love Lucy. No extras, and some music is replaced. Still, if you're a fan, highly recommended.

Bewitched (Seasons 1 & 2) - Elizabeth Montgomery and Agnes Moorehead shine in this classic show, which is available colorized and in original black and white. The color version looks terrific, by the way. A few special features, and remember, TV seasons were much longer in the 60s. The total number of episodes in these two sets would fill three or four seasons of a current show. Highly recommended.

The Black Adder (Seasons 1 - 5) - If you're like me, you'd see this show while channel surfing, and pass right by. It was on PBS (imported from Britain), and it's all set in the distant past--not high on my list of favorites. The Other Half introduced me to the series early in our relationship, and I was converted. Strange, hilarious and twisted. If you like Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) and British humor, you'll love it. Some special features, but remember, British shows have much shorter seasons than we do. Recommended.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Seasons 1 - 7) - I've already geeked out over this one enough. Suffice it to say, this is the DVD set to show the rest how it's done. Chock-full of special features, great packaging (even the slim sets), everything you could possibly want. Very highly recommended.

Part 2 to follow at a later date (I promise!).

*This site is not affiliated in any way with DeepDiscount.com, and this is not an advertisement. But I have used this service repeatedly, and am immensely pleased with it. Prices are often better than you can find on eBay. Also, the one time an error was made, they corrected it quickly, no questions asked. Check them out.