Attention American Men: Pull Up Your Damned Pants!

I went to the local CVS today to pick up a prescription, and happened to follow a young man into the store. "Young" may be an overstatement.  He was mid-20s at the very youngest. He was wearing a wife beater and shorts so long, they nearly count as pants.  I've never understood why anyone wears these non-short shorts here in the desert. It kind of defeats the purpose.

Sorry it's blurry, I'm not very
good at sneaking pictures of folks.

Anyway, I soon realized that his shorts weren't really as long as I thought, he was just wearing them at half-mast.  This is a "fashion statement" that was birthed some time in the 90s, and for unknown reasons, simply won't go away.  It looks good on absolutely no one, and yet it has held on when most fashion trends would be long gone.  It isn't the only one, goodness knows.  If long shorts are stupid in the desert, what about stocking caps? I mean, what the hell?  Another one that doesn't look good on anyone.

What I don't understand about the droopy drawers phenomenon is that besides not looking good, it's gotta be uncomfortable.  And unless you've got a perfect body (and even then, it's a bad look), a skin-tight tank top and a waistband around the middle of your ass makes your torso look freakishly long, and any visible belly looks just gross.  And how do these guys manage to keep their pants up anyway?  Most Americans who have their pants at normal level have to occasionally adjust their belts.  With it cinched around your butt cheeks, sometimes beneath them, what the hell holds them up?  Do they have their pants safety pinned to their boxer shorts?

Look, I come from a generation when if the bands of our Fruit of the Looms peeked out of our pants, we were embarrassed about it.  And while the fashions of the late 70s to late 80s have their tragic side, if you had a rockin' bod, you could pull them off.  This stupid "pants on the ground" look is ridiculous and needs to die. And if you're as old as the guy at CVS?  Pull up your damned pants!

Featured Site: PhotoShop Disasters

Given the recent splash made by Ralph Lauren, their terrible PhotoShopping of models, and the letigiousness that followed, it was kind of surprising to see another hideous 'shopped pic from the same fashion house. As an artist (and a human) I'm simply baffled how anyone could have thought this looked good (or human).

Ordinarily, I wouldn't be too sympathetic to those who say, "won't someone please think of the children?" In this case, I sort of have to agree with that sentiment. Think about all those anorexia after school-type specials, where no matter how skinny the girl gets, she still thinks she's fat. Well a girl like that looking at this shot? Thinking she could diet her way to a pelvis that small? Yikes. And a tip to girls like that: no guy is looking at you, wishing you had a tiny, tiny pelvis.

Oh, and I should mention that the site this comes from is a ton of fun. It isn't just fashion houses that tragically alter their models. And usually, it isn't with the plan to make them look impossibly skinny either. Have a look.

Source: PhotoShop Disasters

Frivolity Break: Aretha Franklin, Bizarre Hat Model

Apparently, the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin has embarked on a new career as a bizarre hat model.




Sources: Richwah's Blog and STLToday

Fashion Mistake: Keyboard Pants

Photo from source, Vous Pensez

This dubious clothing item (I'm not convinced this story is real) is funny for lots of reasons, most notably offering cover for just what you're doing while online. We actually have a very similar, flexible keyboard at work, so I'm positive this could feasibly be created. But it sure doesn't look very practical to me. And where would you put your mouse? Uh, nevermind, it's where you think it is. . .

[Excerpt]

The geekiest pants… ever?

Designer Erik De Nijs, has stitched together this eye catching pair of “Beauty and the Geek” jeans. These “modern shaped trousers which are often worn by youngsters..” are the perfect solution for Googling quick exits while running from the fashion police. Built into the knees are a pair of crotch rocking speakers, around the back you have the added convenience of a back pocket for your “mouse”, and for you gamers, there is a joystick controller located just behind the front zipper. . .

Read more (with additional photos) at: Vous Pensez

Fashion Turns Scary: Extreme Hoodies

First photo from source, AFP
Second photo from source, Los Angeles Times

Kids these days. If they're not displaying their muffin-tops overspilling their hip-huggers, or wearing their pants somewhere barely north of their thighs, they're dressing like terrorists! And I thought Crocs were a hideous fashion statement!

[Excerpt 1]

Britons eye 'burkhas for boys' for Christmas

A jacket with sunglasses sewn into the hood, dubbed a "burkha for boys," is shaping up as a big Christmas hit within weeks of its release in Britain.

The garment has raised eyebrows in a country wary of so-called "hoodies," or young men wearing hooded coats, but police admit they can do nothing in the face of the anonymity it bestows on the wearer. . .

Read more at: AFP

[Excerpt 2]

Danger under the hood?

They're fashion statements to some, but to administrators in Orange County's Capistrano Unified School District, there's danger lurking under the hood. All six high schools last week banned hoodies from campus. . .

Read more at: Los Angeles Times