Attention American Men: Pull Up Your Damned Pants!

I went to the local CVS today to pick up a prescription, and happened to follow a young man into the store. "Young" may be an overstatement.  He was mid-20s at the very youngest. He was wearing a wife beater and shorts so long, they nearly count as pants.  I've never understood why anyone wears these non-short shorts here in the desert. It kind of defeats the purpose.

Sorry it's blurry, I'm not very
good at sneaking pictures of folks.

Anyway, I soon realized that his shorts weren't really as long as I thought, he was just wearing them at half-mast.  This is a "fashion statement" that was birthed some time in the 90s, and for unknown reasons, simply won't go away.  It looks good on absolutely no one, and yet it has held on when most fashion trends would be long gone.  It isn't the only one, goodness knows.  If long shorts are stupid in the desert, what about stocking caps? I mean, what the hell?  Another one that doesn't look good on anyone.

What I don't understand about the droopy drawers phenomenon is that besides not looking good, it's gotta be uncomfortable.  And unless you've got a perfect body (and even then, it's a bad look), a skin-tight tank top and a waistband around the middle of your ass makes your torso look freakishly long, and any visible belly looks just gross.  And how do these guys manage to keep their pants up anyway?  Most Americans who have their pants at normal level have to occasionally adjust their belts.  With it cinched around your butt cheeks, sometimes beneath them, what the hell holds them up?  Do they have their pants safety pinned to their boxer shorts?

Look, I come from a generation when if the bands of our Fruit of the Looms peeked out of our pants, we were embarrassed about it.  And while the fashions of the late 70s to late 80s have their tragic side, if you had a rockin' bod, you could pull them off.  This stupid "pants on the ground" look is ridiculous and needs to die. And if you're as old as the guy at CVS?  Pull up your damned pants!