BirtherFest '12 with Pat Boone and Sheriff Joe Arpaio!

Let's just get this out of the way: "Birthers" are gullible, very likely racist fools, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio is King Moron. I don't say this because I don't like them (for the record, I don't) or from a place of ignorance and supposition. I've been following the birther phenomenon since its infancy, and have personally interacted with them both in their spaces and in mine.  They are tremendously argumentative, but don't argue logically. If you squash one of their (many, varied and often self-contradictory) parts to their theories, they change the subject. They have no problem with ignoring things that don't fit their narrative, and experts at hammering in puzzle pieces that don't really fit. They're insulting when you get a lick in, and falsely inquisitive and "concern trollish" if you manage to calm them down.

Image from Phoenix New Times
Click to embiggen.

The difference between a birther and any other conspiracy theorist is that in other conspiracies: 9/11 truthers, JFK conspiracy believers, moon landing deniers; all have at least semi-plausible reasons for their beliefs, at least at their beginnings. The moon landing was pivotal in the space race, and in the Cold War, making people wonder if it was faked in order to win that battle. The "magic bullet" theory in the JFK assassination is seemingly impossible. The events of 9/11 are difficult to explain, such as how it is that our military was unable to intercept four hijacked planes, how WTC 7 collapsed, and several other issues. All of those theories snowballed to ridiculous lengths, and all have those nagging self-contradictory (and implausible) elements. But all of them have parts that can make an otherwise sane, rational person go, hmmmmm. . . 

Birtherism isn't much like that. Oh, maybe for a minute, when the President's long-form birth certificate was found to have (gasp!) layers!!!1!!11! you might do a Scooby-Doo "HUNH?!?" Until you figure out that it is merely due to the scanning process (debunked myself, here). But there was no reason to suspect that Barack Obama was born anywhere other than Hawaii, as he has always maintained. There is no plausible storyline or evidence that puts Mrs. Obama in Kenya in August of 1961. None. Zero. Zip. Remember, this was a time of much more limited (and expensive) air travel and communications technology. The fact that two different papers had birth announcements proclaiming (in 1961!) Obama's birth puts a nail squarely in the birther coffin. Except, that birtherism is sort of undead, impervious to truthy wooden stakes and rational silver bullets. They are basically now, after-birthers, and they cling to their multiple theories even though they've all been disproved. If you don't believe me, you can check out virtually every birther nugget--all debunked--at ObamaConspiracy.org, as I've said several times before.

Still, amazingly enough, though their numbers have thinned, the after-birthers have got some heavy hitters on their side. Well, such as they are. There's a BirtherCon coming up in September, and the average age of its two biggest stars, one-time singer Pat Boone and Arizona's batshit crazy Sheriff Joe Arpaio--is 79 years old. I don't know if these men and the others appearing at the event are so stupid and/or gullible to believe in what they're saying. They may just be in it for the acclaim and the paycheck. But the swarm that attends is going to be made up of some very scary dudes.

[Excerpt]

Joe Arpaio, Pat Boone and Teabaggers Galore Hold BirtherFest September 22 at Celebrity Theatre

. . .The flier for the event promises that the 78 year-old Christian crooner will sing as well as speak. Wonder if he'll do any tunes from his 1997 album In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy. Always loved his cover of "Smoke on the Water." Not sure who the old biddies will be swoonin' for more, Boone, or geriatric heartthrob Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who'll be presiding at the event as Birther-in-Chief. . .

Read more at: Phoenix New Times

Pat Boone a "Birther?"

Image from source, Wonkette

First of all, let me apologize for the photo at left, which is probably the most disturbing image you've seen all day. If your retinas have healed, and you're able to read this, that is.

There is a goofy contingent of right-wingers who are convinced that Barack Obama is not actually President. They claim he's never produced the "long form" version of his birth certificate, and they contend that it is because he wasn't actually born in this country. Thus, he cannot be a "natural born citizen" and is Constitutionally prohibited from being legally sworn in as POTUS. These people are (sometimes derisively) known as "birthers."

Birthers will tell you that Obama could obtain the needed document for $8 (or $10, or $12, or $15), and satisfy them utterly if said form showed conclusively that he was born in Hawaii. Until he does this, they will continue to believe that he was born in Kenya (or British Columbia, or Indonesia, or the middle of the Pacific Ocean, or Malaysia). Never mind that his mother was a US Citizen (or wasn't, or wasn't old enough to confer citizenship upon her son). Forget that there was a birth announcement in a Hawaiian newspaper in August of 1961 (planted! by a mother who apparently knew that her mixed-race child would one day become President). Forget that the State of Hawaii certified the document that Obama has released (which was good enough to get him a passport, and to allow him to become a State and then US Senator).

The fact of the matter is, Obama could do nothing that would satisfy them now. Enough time has elapsed that they would would say they had time to fake it, even if he had the doctor and nurse who delivered him on hand to testify. If Obama Sr. took a home movie of the blessed event, and it was now released on high-definition Blu-ray disc, the birthers would claim it was all CGI and Hollywood magic.

Which is a long way to go to say that white bread "rocker" Pat Boone is a birther. Wouldn't you like to be a birther too?

[Excerpt]

Elderly Wingnut ‘Teen Idol’ Also Wants Personal Copy of Obama’s Birth Certificate

What happens when you’re super angry about a Negro somehow becoming president, but there are no longer specific laws against a Negro becoming president? Make up something else! Better yet, make up something that can never be disproved, to you, because you can just dedicate yourself to saying, “Nah, that is FAKE somehow!” . . .

Read more at: Wonkette

Pat Boone Warns Kentucky Could Turn Into San Francisco

Image from source, PageOneQ

Everybody hates those stupid robo-calls. Political robo-calls can be even more annoying in a state like Nevada where we have early voting, and you receive one after you've voted. But imagine receiving one from a bona fide celebrity!

Then imagine it's Pat Boone, and what he's warning you about is that voting for the Democrats will turn Kentucky into San Francisco! No, I'm not making that up.

Now, anybody who follows politics knows that "San Francisco" is Republican code for "the gay." Because really, how could a state turn into a metropolitan city? So you have an uber-white, uber-bland, has-been celebrity warning the voters of Kentucky that the gay is going to get them. Which makes you wonder first, what century we're in, and second, do they really think the voters of Kentucky are stupid? Yeah, I think they do.

[Excerpt]

Pat Boone, Kentucky GOP: Electing Democratic governor will make Kentucky like San Francisco

The Republican Party of Kentucky has created a robo-call advertising campaign featuring singer Pat Boone warning that the election of Democratic gubernatorial nominee Steven Beshear will put a governor in office who supports "every homosexual cause." [snip]

From the phone call:

"Now, do you want governor who'd like Kentucky to be like another San Francisco?"

Read the whole thing (with audio) at: PageOneQ