Halloween Horrors: The Final Destination Series

Here is another in my series of quickie reviews, to help you get your Halloween viewing lists together.

One of the more interesting horror series out there is Final Destination. The name is taken from travel lingo, which is appropriate given that the series begins with an airline disaster. The double meaning is of course everyone's "final destination," death. The series features elaborate, improbable death scenes, and due to the way the stories are structured, many characters die twice.

[Editor's note: the first three movies were reviewed before part 4 and 5 had been released]

Final Destination (2000) - The first film centers around a teenager who has a vision as he's boarding a plane to France with his french class. A very vivid vision, which involves a horrific chain reaction of events which leads to the plane exploding. When he snaps out of it, and details start to match his vision, he freaks out and is removed from the plane, along with several friends, and his teacher. This was before 9/11, which is a good thing, because nowadays they would probably ground the plane, and hey, no movie.

After the group disembarks, the plane does explode, but the group that escaped starts dying one-by-one in the order they would have originally died had they stayed on the plane. A theory is cobbled together, that the characters "cheated death," and that death was working to set its plan right. But death doesn't just get them by natural causes. Death constructs elaborate Rube Goldberg-ian ways to do them in.

 

Final Destination 2 (2003) - The second film follows a similar setup, with a girl foreseeing a horrific multi-car pileup. It departs from the usual "kill the teenagers" formula by incorporating adults who are prevented from entering the flow of traffic by the girl. And it is linked to the previous film in a very novel way. Of all of these films, I've seen this one the most times. Here's a taste of what Part 2 has to offer...

 

 

Final Destination 3 (2006) - Part three again has a girl with a vision, this one predicting a roller coaster disaster, and preventing several friends from riding. It is only tangentially related to the other two parts, since 1 & 2 pretty much tied everything to each other. And while each film probably has realism problems (as do most horror films), the actual roller coaster accident is virtually impossible.

Parts 1 - 3 work very well when watched in sequence. The hook to all of them is the elaborate ways in which the characters are killed off, and the fact that there are both foreshadowing events, as well as red herrings. For the most part, the acting is well done and believable. And the effects are pretty spectacular.

None of these films is particularly scary. In fact, because the death scenes are so wacky, it almost works as comedy. The setups (plane crash, car crash, amusement ride tragedy) are relatable. Very few of us have not imagined such a scenario happening to us when we fly, drive, or pull the safety harness down. So they are unnerving. If you have any phobias about these things, you may actually get a jolt. But mostly, the special effects and gore are pure entertainment. If you're into that sort of thing!

Part 2 was my favorite, because of the novel way they wove the storyline together with the first. And the car crash is spectacular (as is a surprise event that happens right after). This movie had the best fake-outs, making you wonder exactly how they were going to do the characters in. And it takes risks that divert from the usual scary movie pattern.

 

Part 3 disappointed me the first time I watched it, because the link to the other two is tangential, and frankly unbelievable. But upon review--if you suspend disbelief on how quickly the protagonists figure out what is happening to them--it's actually not bad, and a decent entry into the series. And it takes the ultimate risk, with a surprise ending that goes totally against the horror movie rules.

[Now, parts 4 and 5]

THE Final Destination (2009) - Given that moniker, you would think it was the last one. It was also in 3D, and heavily promoted as the final installment. It was fun--involving a NASCAR racetrack-type disaster. I'm a binocularly-challenged person, with the unfortunate inability to see 3D movies. But I liked FD4, just the same. I thought it was better than 3, less than 2, about the same as 1. I'm in the distinct minority here, as part 4 is almost universally regarded as the worst of the series.

Final Destination 5 (2011) - That another sequel followed the "last" one wasn't surprising. What was surprising, was that the fifth movie would be as good as the rest of the series, or better. In fact, it's as good part two, and better than the original. It is also in 3D, incidentally.

Horror movies tend to be derivative. And part five can't offer originality. But the special effects, the acting, the surprises? Part five has them in spades. The only flaw for me was the law of diminishing returns. The spectacular opening can't be matched in later set pieces. While I had a lot of fun, the thrills tend to get smaller by half with each dramatic demise. If they had only ended the picture with a dramatic finale on the scale (or 3/5 of the scale) with the opening.

 

 

In conclusion, if you like elaborate, gory special effects, and you are tired of mindless slasher pictures, any of these films will satisfy you. And while the characters die in horrific ways, this is not Hostel or Saw-type torture-porn. Unlike Friday the 13th-type movies, you don't need nostalgia to have fun with them, and don't have to settle for "so bad, it's good." These flicks are actually well made. Just have your remote at the ready! You'll want to slo-mo something in all five movies!

 

Final Destination: Recommended

Final Destination 2: Highly Recommended

Final Destination 3: Recommended
THE Final Destination: Recommended
Final Destination 5: Highly Recommended

Blast from the Past: Stock Aitken Waterman (SAW)

Well, the weekend has come and gone already. For me, it started early--but painfully--when I was struck with a 102.6 fever on Thursday. I was sick all that day, followed by a wrung-out Friday. Saturday, I forced myself to do several chores around the house that were sorely needed. And today, I'm just enjoying a beautiful--though hot--Las Vegas afternoon, and damn it, it's a school night!

So, what's with Blast from the Past honoring a what. . .law firm? A stock trading company? An insurance broker? No, Stock Aitken Waterman was a music production team. They had a flurry of hits from the mid eighties to the early nineties. Some of their songs are fondly remembered, but their techniques, and much of their output is shunned by a lot of music fans. "Disposable" is what you'll hear from some people. And it's true, you could plug any artist from any SAW hit into a different one, and get essentially the same song.  Seriously, listen to the Donna Summer tune below, and imagine it with Rick Astley's voice. See what I mean?

But they were successful for quite a while, so it can't all be that bad, right?

1. Bananarama, Venus
2. Dead or Alive, You Spin Me 'Round (Like a Record)

3. Kylie Minogue, The Locomotion
4. Samantha Fox, I Only Wanna Be With You



5. Donna Summer, This Time I Know it's For Real
6. Rick Astley, Never Gonna Give You Up

And that's most of the big ones, but you get the idea. SAW made several songs with each of these artists, and many others to less acclaim. Every so often there are new hit factories, explosions of boy or girl bands, and other pop confections. There has been cheese and fakery almost as far back as the industry goes. And let's face it: those "alternative" groups people like my brother used to listen to (while snorting in derision at "pop" music) are now played alongside them on virtually any radio station that plays them at all. Oh, and probably advertising for Burger King.

That does it for me for this week. Have a great Monday, everyobody!

Movie Reviews: Halloween, Halloween II and Saw VI

All images from Wikipedia

While the cat's away, it's movie day!  The Other Half is on a weekend two-day trip, so I got it in my head today to catch up on some horror movies (something TOH is not into).  I thought I'd check out Hollywood Video for some used DVDs, only to be surprised to see it out of business.  Sad. I started frequenting that store shortly after moving to Las Vegas 16 years ago; I even bought some LaserDiscs there. Poot.  So, I went to one of the Hollywoods that has been converted (due to some corporate divorce) to a "Mark's Video."  Their selection kinda blew, with the better vids not on the "on sale" list.

So I went someplace I had previously sworn off of: Blockbuster.  I will not be surprised to see that video store go under too, because it is a drastically different place than it used to be. The store seems to be a haphazard mixture of new, used and rentals with disorganized shelves. Not pretty, but they had a good selection!  They had a 5 for $20 group with only one movie I liked, so I moved to the 3 for $20 stuff. There I found Halloween, Halloween II (both Rob Zombie remakes), Saw VI, Zombieland, Bruno and Capitalism: A Love Story.  The latter two were just to fill out the 3/$20 deal.  I watched the first three today.  Warning: Here there may be spoilers.

I didn't expect much from any of those movies. They are just like comfort food for me, cheesy and fun.  And I'd been wanting to see them all for some time.  The results were a mixed bag.

Saw VI is exactly what you'd expect it to be.  More death traps, more Tobin Bell (even though his character died several installments ago) and a convoluted yet consistent storyline woven through all six films.  With each new chapter, credulity gets strained more. I mean, how much time did this dying, vengeful serial killer have to plan out all of these traps anyway?  But kudos to the makers for keeping exactly the same vibe, look and feel of the other films.  The traps still squick me out, and the tension is there.  It may not be logical that Costas Mandylor and Shawnee Smith's characters would continue Jigsaw's plans out (that's a lot of work, even if you like murdering people!).  If you like any of parts I - V, recommended.

Rob Zombie's Halloween is the last of the big horror remakes that I've gotten around to.  Like Friday the 13th, Last House on the Left, A Nightmare on Elm Street (and many also-rans), this one is part remake, part prequel, part homage.  And they got it mostly right.  I'm not a big fan of the long-haired, white trash 10-year old Michael or his pre-story.  It was too long, and hardly justifies become a mindless killer.  Lots of kids have it bad.  I felt like they were giving us a reason to sympathize with Michael Myers, but how can you do that when he kills everyone he comes into contact with, friend or foe?  For me, slasher films work best when at least some of the deaths come to characters who sort of deserve it.  And now that I think about it, there were a couple of those, but there were some that just seemed unnecessary and random.  It's an okay redo, but I can't say that it improved on the original.  For genre fans and Halloween completists, recommended.

I'd already heard bad things about Halloween II, and even saw it at the library, but elected to wait until after I'd seen Part I to watch it.  Among the things it had going for it were that it (much like the original Halloween II) retained the storyline and many characters/actors from the first part.  It plays like an extended version of part one, and is internally consistent. That's saying something for this genre.  But the film tries to shoehorn in elements that are outside of the traditional Myers mythology (as strained as it eventually got), and lifted the "psychic connection" between Myers and his sister from Halloween 5 (which also starred Danielle Harris, who's now been in parts 4 and 5 of the original, and I and II of the remakes).  There are too many dream sequences (particularly a long one at the beginning), and the characters are somewhat unappealing.  It's not a total washout, but I can't strongly vouch for it either.  For Halloween completists only.

Two-in-One DVD Review: Saw V & Disaster Movie

Image from Wikipedia

I actually got out of the house and got a few errands run, which is something I guess. And since there's no work tomorrow, I picked today for rest and laziness. While I was out, I got some cheap pre-viewed movies at Hollywood Video, knowing full well what I was getting: cheap entertainment.

I got a Ryan Reynolds picture called The Nines, which is supposed to be quite good, but somber. So I went with my other two picks for my lazy day. First up was Saw V. It's the most recent in a series of ridiculously convoluted "torture porn" horror movies. I'm not sure the creators of the original Saw had such a long "franchise" in mind when they started the whole thing. For one thing, they started out with a killer who had a terminal illness. This necessitated the actual death of the guy, drug out through the last two installments.

The series is actually inventive, and no doubt delivers the shocks and the gross outs. But it isn't just the Rube Goldbergian murder machines that provide the torture, logic and reason are tortured as well. The story strains to link all five parts together, with plot elements of part V supposedly having occurred before part I, with things going on behind the scenes we never knew before. This terminally ill man was very, very busy during the last days of his life. I enjoyed this movie the same way I did the rest: by buying them cheaply, and not expecting much. There are worse ways to spend an hour and a half. Saw VI, for example, out soon.

The other movie I had much less hope for, and it still managed to disappoint. Disaster Movie is also from a long series of movies, more-or-less loosely affiliated with each other. I suppose they date back to Scary Movie, itself a series, but I don't know if many (or any) of the same people are still involved. All of these movies were silly, bordering on stupid. All of them had up-to-date (and thus, now dated) pop-culture references, and out-of-left-field throwaway gags. But somewhere along the way, they really went off the rails.

Date Movie was the first one that sucked out loud. Even the usually outstanding Alyson Hannigan couldn't save it. Epic Movie was a skosh better, but that would take little effort. Meet the Spartans was dreadful, but had just enough funny stuff to be nearly enjoyable, almost all due to the star, Sean Maguire. Disaster Movie, other than being aptly named, is a complete waste of time. At this point, the whole string of movies seems to exist only to employ former members of Mad TV and midgets. There isn't a single laugh in the whole film. Cheap gay jokes abound, so it is ironic that the only worthwhile things in the film are star Matt Lanter (very cute), and you get to see Ike Barinholtz naked. Still, as terrible as it is, it's a better way to spend some time than The Happening.

Final Destination Sunday (DVD Review)

I expected, with The Other Half away today, to get quite a bit of blogging done. But I got up late, and then I got kinda lazy. Since I rewatched Final Destination on Friday afternoon, I decided to watch Final Destination 2 and 3 today. As you can see, I'm a real aficionado of classy art pictures.

I did my duty this morning, watching most of the political shows, on DVR with a handy fast-forward button. But I wasn't inspired by anything said there. So, why not review the movies I watched today? This is my blog after all, so here we go.

Final Destination (2000) - The first film centers around a teenager who has a vision as he's boarding a plane to France with his french class. A very vivid vision, which involves a horrific chain reaction of events which leads to the plane exploding. When he snaps out of it, and details start to match his vision, he freaks out and is removed from the plane, along with several friends, and his teacher. This was before 9/11, which is a good thing, because nowadays they would probably ground the plane, and hey, no movie.

After the group disembarks, the plane does explode, but the group that escaped starts dying one-by-one in the order they would have originally died had they stayed on the plane. A theory is cobbled together, that the characters "cheated death," and that death was working to set its plan right. But death doesn't just get them by natural causes. Death constructs elaborate Rube Goldberg-ian ways to do them in.

Final Destination 2 (2003) - The second film follows a similar setup, with a girl foreseeing a horrific multi-car pileup. It departs from the usual "kill the teenagers" formula by incorporating adults who are prevented from entering the flow of traffic by the girl. And it is linked to the previous film in a very novel way.

Final Destination 3 (2006) - Part three again has a girl with a vision, this one predicting a roller coaster disaster, and preventing several friends from riding. It is only tangentially related to the other two parts, since 1 & 2 pretty much tied everything to each other.

Parts 1 - 3 work very well when watched in sequence. The hook to all of them is the elaborate ways in which the characters are killed off, and the fact that there are both foreshadowing events, as well as red herrings. For the most part, the acting is well done and believable. And the effects are pretty spectacular.

None of these films is particularly scary. In fact, because the death scenes are so wacky, it almost works as comedy. The setups (plane crash, car crash, amusement ride tragedy) are relatable. Very few of us have not imagined such a scenario happening to us when we fly, drive, or pull the safety harness down. So they are unnerving. If you have any phobias about these thing, you may actually get a jolt. But mostly, the special effects and gore are pure entertainment. If you're into that sort of thing!

Part 2 was my favorite, because of the novel way they wove the storyline together with the first. And the car crash is spectacular (as is a surprise event that happens right after). This movie had the best fake-outs, making you wonder exactly how they were going to do the characters in. And it takes risks that divert from the usual scary movie pattern.

Part 3 disappointed me the first time I watched it, because the link to the other two is tangential, and frankly unbelievable. But upon review--if you suspend disbelief on how quickly the protagonists figure out what is happening to them--it's actually not bad, and a decent entry into the series. And it takes the ultimate risk, with a surprise ending that goes totally against the horror movie rules.

If they make a Part 4--and they probably will--they will be challenged with creating a different but still relatable disaster. And they'd be smart to try to tie Part 3, or even all 3 into the storyline, to make it feel cohesive. Failing that, they need to drop all reference to "Flight 180" from the first film, and have their characters discover what's going on in a different way.

In conclusion, if you like elaborate, gory special effects, and you are tired of mindless slasher pictures, any of these films will satisfy you. And while the characters die in horrific ways, this is not Hostel or Saw-type torture-porn. Unlike Friday the 13th-type movies, you don't need nostalgia to have fun with them, and don't have to settle for "so bad, it's good." These flicks are actually well made. Just have your remote at the ready! You'll want to slo-mo something in all three movies!

Final Destination: Recommended

Final Destination 2: Highly Recommended

Final Destination 3: Recommended