Image from Wikipedia
I actually got out of the house and got a few errands run, which is something I guess. And since there's no work tomorrow, I picked today for rest and laziness. While I was out, I got some cheap pre-viewed movies at Hollywood Video, knowing full well what I was getting: cheap entertainment.
I got a Ryan Reynolds picture called
The Nines, which is supposed to be quite good, but somber. So I went with my other two picks for my lazy day. First up was
Saw V. It's the most recent in a series of ridiculously convoluted "torture porn" horror movies. I'm not sure the creators of the original
Saw had such a long "franchise" in mind when they started the whole thing. For one thing, they started out with a killer who had a terminal illness. This necessitated the actual death of the guy, drug out through the last two installments.
The series is actually inventive, and no doubt delivers the shocks and the gross outs. But it isn't just the Rube Goldbergian murder machines that provide the torture, logic and reason are tortured as well. The story strains to link all five parts together, with plot elements of part V supposedly having occurred before part I, with things going on behind the scenes we never knew before. This terminally ill man was very,
very busy during the last days of his life. I enjoyed this movie the same way I did the rest: by buying them cheaply, and not expecting much. There are worse ways to spend an hour and a half.
Saw VI, for example, out soon.
The other movie I had much less hope for, and it
still managed to disappoint.
Disaster Movie is also from a long series of movies, more-or-less loosely affiliated with each other. I suppose they date back to
Scary Movie, itself a series, but I don't know if many (or any) of the same people are still involved. All of these movies were silly, bordering on stupid. All of them had up-to-date (and thus, now dated) pop-culture references, and out-of-left-field throwaway gags. But somewhere along the way, they really went off the rails.
Date Movie was the first one that sucked out loud. Even the usually outstanding Alyson Hannigan couldn't save it.
Epic Movie was a skosh better, but that would take little effort.
Meet the Spartans was dreadful, but had just enough funny stuff to be nearly enjoyable, almost all due to the star, Sean Maguire.
Disaster Movie, other than being aptly named,
is a complete waste of time. At this point, the whole string of movies seems to exist only to employ former members of
Mad TV and midgets
. There isn't a single laugh in the whole film. Cheap gay jokes abound, so it is ironic that the only worthwhile things in the film are star Matt Lanter (very cute), and you get to see
Ike Barinholtz naked. Still, as terrible as it is, it's a better way to spend some time than
The Happening.
