Blast from the Past: Songs that Should have Been Hits

Yes, this is a rerun, but I've added two new "shoulda beens" to the end!

For this week's Blast from the Past, I'm going to see how many songs I can find that are examples of great songs that either barely hit the Billboard charts, or didn't even break through at all. And I'm sure I'll only crack the surface here. These are the kinds of songs that you either know because they were on an album you played a lot, sometimes on a Greatest Hits collection with some "extras" that really weren't. Or it's an attempt at a comeback from an established star that just didn't do the trick. Whatever it is, these songs all have the makings of a hit, but just. . .weren't for some reason. See how many you know.



1. Ring Ring by ABBA (1973) - This early tune by the Swedish quartet managed to make several world-wide charts, some to number one. But it didn't chart in the states at all. It should have.

2. On and On and On by ABBA (1980) - A later track by the same group had all the makings of a hit (and the by now standard repeating title of many of their others), but only hit #90 in the US. It was still very catchy, and should have been a hit.



3. I'm Gonna Be Strong by Cyndi Lauper (1994) - According to Lauper, this is the song that got her a recording contract. Small wonder. I've always wondered what could have happened if Lauper had been a contestant on American Idol, and belted this out. It's amazing.

4. You Don't Know by Cyndi Lauper (1997) - As you can now tell, I have some favorite artists who have several songs I think should have been hits. This one was probably hampered by an album track that was slow and languid. This dance version is one of my favorites, a song about the stupidity of bigotry.



5. Quantum Mechanic by Thomas Dolby and Dr. Fiorella Terenzi (1994) - This great tune from the Gate to the Mind's Eye soundtrack always made me happy. And should have been released.

6. UMF by Duran Duran (1993) - One of several tracks from "The Wedding Album," something of a comeback album that did have a couple of hits. UMF stands for "ultimate mind f**k," thought the profanity is never uttered.



7. Only You by Pat Benatar (1997) - Again, a great album, chock full of great tunes, but it still couldn't revive Benatar's hit-making career.

8. Try by Billy Pilgrim (1994) - I saw this band when they opened for Melissa Etheridge on tour. I bought their album, and totally dug it. This is one of their best songs, and it turned up on a compilation or two, but didn't really go anywhere. Great harmonies.



9. Rock D.J. by Robbie Williams (2000) - This incredibly catchy dance tune was a hit around the world, but didn't manage more than #24 on the dance chart in the US. Maybe it had something to do with the gory, out-of-left-field video.

10. Little Bird by Annie Lennox (1993) - This is (along with a couple of other tracks that didn't chart) one of my favorite Lennox tunes. Amazing that I didn't do better.



11. One by One by Cher (1996) - Like the Cyndi Lauper tune, You Don't Know above, this one had a down-tempo album version, and this spirited dance version. The dance version charted at #6, the album version at #52. I'm fairly certain it was this song's performance that made Cher go straight for dance releases like Believe after this.

12. That's What I Think by Cyndi Lauper (1993) - Another Lauper tune, I can't help myself. I think she's been criminally overlooked. This one she even plays the recorder. I remember her blowing David Letterman away when she performed it on his show.

And that will wrap it up for now. I realized as I was writing that there are many, many songs I listen to that were never hits but seemingly could have been. Give these a listen, and look forward to another edition. This one is worth a sequel. (or a rerun, heh)

Happy Monday!

BONUS: Here's the Letterman clip.

Blast from the Past: Gay Anthems, Part II

Since we're still early in June, which is Gay Pride month, and it's The Other Half's birthday, I thought I'd continue with the theme of "gay anthems," those you don't have to be gay. . .but it couldn't hurt! -type songs. Of course, there are so many to choose from, I didn't have room for all of them last week anyway. Let's get started.

1. Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat (1984) - I'll confess to missing this one, having been firmly stuck on top-40 music at the time, and only 18. Still, my younger (straight) brother insisted that it get a spot this week! Apparently, it was really, really gay.
2. Express Yourself by Madonna (1989) - One of Madge's best, and certainly her most stylish video.



3. You Spin Me 'Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive (1985) - Pete Burns was like the sinister Boy George, and this song was everywhere in 1985.
4. Brand New Lover by Dead or Alive (1986) - Just as fun as the previous tune.



5. No More Tears (Enough is Enough) by Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer (1979) - I mean, like you could get these divas together, and it not be a gay anthem? Unfortunately, there is no video. But that note Babs holds? Fabulous.
6. Believe by Cher (1998) - About time Cher made an appearance, right? And at the time, people were marveling at her longevity. . .16 years ago.



7. Lady Marmalade by LaBelle (1974) - Sure, the Christina Aguilera/P!nk/Li'l Kim/Mya cover version might qualify, but this is the classic original, and even burst on the scene before disco really went mainstream.
8. True Colors by Cyndi Lauper (1985) - When I think of a gay anthem, I think "upbeat," but there can be no denying this one has it's place in our big gay hearts.



9. Beautiful by Christina Aguilera (2002) - Much like the previous entry, this ballad is on the list, even if it's a bit sad. It's the defiance that sells it.
10. We are Family by Sister Sledge (1979) - But we've got to get it back to a dance party, right? And why this one didn't occur to me last time, I have no idea. So, let's dance this weekend out!


And I still left out any Donna Summer solo songs, and countless others. Maybe we'll revisit this party to close out the month. Happy Monday, everybody.

Blast from the Past: Gay Anthems, Part I

It's June everybody, and though many Pride celebrations have scattered across the calendar, June is still Gay Pride Month. And so, I thought I'd do a bit of a combo here, of my different regular features. For the first time ever, this is Blast From the Past/The Gay Thing! And I present to you gay anthems, from the far and the not so distant past. Enjoy, and join the parade, won't you?

1. I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor (1978) - I can't say why this was a gay anthem. The lyrics could fit anyone in a bad relationship. But boy howdy, was it.
2. I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor (1983) - Gay is right in her name, so she gets two in a row (despite a bit of an anti-gay kerfuffle in recent years). And this one is super gay.



3. Y.M.C.A. by The Village People (1978) - I could go nuts with Village People songs in this category, but we'll leave it at this one. So popular, straight people dance to it at sporting events.
4. Go West by Pet Shop Boys (1992) - Actually a Village People song, remade. Really, really gay.


5. Outside by George Michael (1998) - Made as a snarky retort to his arrest for public lewdness, this song (and video) scream "gay," where Michael had previously been coy.
6. You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) by Sylvester (1978) - You'd think it would be impossible to get any gayer than this one.


7. Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood (1984) - You'd be wrong, because this is the gayest song ever!
8. It's Raining Men by The Weather Girls (1982) - Wait. Hold on. This is gayer, even though it's ostensibly about straight women fantasizing about men. And written by Paul Shaffer?


9. Vogue by Madonna (1990) - With a dance taken straight from gay subculture, Madonna made an indelible mark, in fact, it's probably her most famous song.
10. Born This Way by Lady Gaga (2011) - From the much more recent past, we have the ultimate gay anthem, even if it was (sorta kinda) borrowed from Madonna's Express Yourself (itself worthy of a place in a sequel to this column). The song starts at about 2:30 after a long, weird preamble.

And now that you're all danced out, it's time for a brand new week. Happy Monday!

Blast from the Past: The Song is Also a Dance

You know 'em, you love 'em. Songs that have their own dance. Not all were what you'd call dance crazes, but most were. Some are flat-out embarrassing. One was included in last week's "Novelty Hits" installment, but simply couldn't be left off here. Most can be done by most anyone, some are a little trickier. Get your dancin' shoes on, and join me!

1. Walk the Dinosaur by Was (Not Was) (1989) - This one breaks down the steps for you, in case you want to dance along. It went to #7 on the pop chart.
2. Stand by R.E.M. (1988) - Strictly speaking, not a dance. But the dance in the video was emulated on dance floors anyway. One of R.E.M.'s peppier numbers, it hit #6.
 

3. Vogue by Madonna (1990) - This song did not inspire the dance, but it sure dragged it into the mainstream. It went to #1, naturally.
4. The Hustle by Van McCoy (1975) - The quintessential 1970s song and dance. It's kind of light weight, but boy is it dripping with nostalgia.  Also #1.



5. The Electric Boogie by Marcia Griffiths (1989) - Cheese, to be sure, but nowhere near as cheesy as the next one. The dance was called "The Electric Slide," not "Boogie," and the song itself went to only #51.
6. Macarena by Los Del Rio (1992) - This is the one I mentioned that was featured last week. #1 for an absurd 14 weeks, this one is embarrassment for anyone who might sing a verse and be overheard. But since I featured this last time, this time, I'm using the video that teaches the dance.



7. Velcro Fly by ZZ Top (1986) - Not a huge hit, though it got a lot of airplay on MTV. And the dance was choreographed by Paula Abdul, before she was nationally famous. Only hit #35.
8. Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) by Beyoncé (2008) - I almost didn't feature this one, since I thought it was too recent. But guess what? It's six years old. Solidly in the past, and one of the most copied dances in that past six years too. Also a #1 tune.
 

And now that you're danced out, it's time to start a new week. Happy Monday!

Blast from the Past: Songs That Should Have Been Hits

For this week's Blast from the Past, I'm going to see how many songs I can find that are examples of great songs that either barely hit the Billboard charts, or didn't even break through at all. And I'm sure I'll only crack the surface here. These are the kinds of songs that you either know because they were on an album you played a lot, sometimes on a Greatest Hits collection with some "extras" that really weren't. Or it's an attempt at a comeback from an established star that just didn't do the trick. Whatever it is, these songs all have the makings of a hit, but just. . .weren't for some reason. See how many you know.



1. Ring Ring by ABBA (1973) - This early tune by the Swedish quartet managed to make several world-wide charts, some to number 1. But it didn't chart in the states at all. It should have.

2. On and On and On by ABBA (1980) - A later track by the same group had all the makings of a hit (and the by now standard repeating title of many of their others), but only hit #90 in the US.



3. I'm Gonna Be Strong by Cyndi Lauper (1994) - According to Lauper, this is the song that got her a recording contract. Small wonder. I've always wondered what could have happened if Lauper had been a contestant on American Idol, and belted this out. It's amazing.

4. You Don't Know by Cyndi Lauper (1997) - As you can now tell, I have some favorite artists who have several songs I think should have been hits. This one was probably hampered by an album track that was slow and languid. This dance version is one of my favorites, a song about the stupidity of bigotry.



5. Quantum Mechanic by Thomas Dolby and Dr. Fiorella Terenzi (1994) - This great tune from the Gate to the Mind's Eye soundtrack always made me happy. And should have been released.

6. UMF by Duran Duran (1993) - One of several tracks from "The Wedding Album," something of a comeback album that did have a couple of hits. UMF stands for "ultimate mind f**k," thought the profanity is never uttered.



7. Only You by Pat Benatar (1997) - Again, a great album, chock full of great tunes, but it still couldn't revive Benatar's hit-making career.

8. Try by Billy Pilgrim (1994) - I saw this band when they opened for Melissa Etheridge on tour. I bought their album, and totally dug it. This is one of their best songs, and it turned up on a compilation or two, but didn't really go anywhere. Great harmonies.



9. Rock D.J. by Robbie Williams (2000) - This incredibly catchy dance tune was a hit around the world, but didn't manage more than #24 on the dance chart in the US. Maybe it had something to do with the gory, out-of-left-field video.

10. Little Bird by Annie Lennox (1993) - This is (along with a couple of other tracks that didn't chart) one of my favorite Lennox tunes. Amazing that I didn't do better.

And that will wrap it up for now. I realized as I was writing that there are many, many songs I listen to that were never hits but seemingly could have been. Give these a listen, and look forward to another edition. This one is worth a sequel.

Happy Monday!

Blast from the Past: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Cher!

The following is a special edition (rerun) of a previous Blast from the Past, in addition to the usual weekly feature. Why? Because it's Cher's 67th birthday! I had to edit a little, because YouTube videos tend to cycle out. But I managed to put a number of favorites in to take the place of the expired tracks. Enjoy, and happy birthday Cherilyn Sarkisian Bono Allman JustCher!

 ORIGINAL POST:

So, it's come to this. After having run posts on Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Pat Benatar, Paula Abdul, and other divas of the 80s, 90s and beyond, I realized that I'd left out Cher. Cher's career began before I was born, and who knows, she'll probably outlast me. She was performing in Las Vegas long before I moved here in the 90s, and has made return engagements, both on tour and as a semi-permanent act. Her shows are so popular, she can't ever retire, despite having tried. In her mid-60s now, she's still making music, with an upcoming collaboration with Lady Gaga (who can only hope to have such a long-lived career).

For all the talk of the reinventions and comebacks of other stars, no one touches Cher. She was a hit with Sonny Bono in the 60s, as one half of Caesar and Cleo, which became Sonny & Cher. When their music started to stall, they won their own variety show on CBS. During the program, she launched a successful solo act. When the Bonos divorced, Cher had her own show, and then again partnered with Sonny on TV. 

In the late 70s, Cher's music faltered, so she dabbled with disco, and Las Vegas. When that didn't go so well, she started seriously acting, and. . .was very, very good at it. Go ahead and watch her in Silkwood, The Witches of Eastwick, Suspect, Moonstruck, Mask: She's terrific in all of them. While establishing herself in Hollywood, she relaunched her singing career in the mid-80s, and struck gold again. A string of albums, each with a hit or two followed. Her risque videos flustered MTV, and Cher just kept going. She made a couple of odd detours, including a run as an infomercial queen, but she managed to make most of us forget that by making new music and movies.

Recently, Cher showcased her voice and acting skills in Burlesque with Christina Aguilera. While the movie didn't do particularly well at the box office, it isn't because of Cher. In fact, if you are inclined to watch this sort of picture (think Chicago or Moulin Rouge) you'll probably get a kick out of it. So, long story short (I know, too late) Cher deserves far more recognition than she gets. She shouldn't be a guilty pleasure at all, just a pleasure. And it shouldn't go unmentioned that Cher has had a number one song in each of the last six decades. Top that, Gaga.

Blast from the Past: Guilty Pleasures, Part One

I realize that summer is ending, and I've got to get back to the business of blogging, such as it is. But I tell you, when you've got a lazy Sunday, and it is still light out until 7:00 pm, it's difficult to get up from the readin' couch by the window, particularly when the readin' cat is on your lap. But, let's get on with it, shall we?

This week's topic, "Guilty Pleasures" isn't the gentle kind. It's not ABBA or The Carpenters. . .you know, the groups you're shy about admitting you secretly dig. No, I mean specific songs that were often times enormous hits, but nobody will admit to ever having liked! These are the songs that could either fill or empty out a dance floor, depending upon the crowd. And you'd have no way of knowing!

This one is going to be text-light, videos-heavy. The source of the guilt and the pleasure (particularly the guilt) is self evident!

And that will do it for part one. There are so many--so many--others. Meanwhile, have a great week and a happy Monday! I'll be back late today refreshed, and get back to the politics.

Blast from the Past: Cher!

So, it's come to this. After having run posts on Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Pat Benatar, Paula Abdul, and other divas of the 80s, 90s and beyond, I realized that I'd left out Cher. Cher's career began before I was born, and who knows, she'll probably outlast me. She was performing in Las Vegas long before I moved here in the 90s, and has made return engagements, both on tour and as a semi-permanent act. Her shows are so popular, she can't ever retire, despite having tried. In her mid-60s now, she's still making music, with an upcoming collaboration with Lady Gaga (who can only hope to have such a long-lived career).

For all the talk of the reinventions and comebacks of other stars, no one touches Cher. She was a hit with Sonny Bono in the 60s, as one half of Caesar and Cleo, which became Sonny & Cher. When their music started to stall, they won their own variety show on CBS. During the program, she launched a successful solo act. When the Bonos divorced, Cher had her own show, and then again partnered with Sonny on TV. 

Image from Wikipedia

In the late 70s, Cher's music faltered, so she dabbled with disco, and Las Vegas. When that didn't go so well, she started seriously acting, and. . .was very, very good at it. Go ahead and watch her in Silkwood, The Witches of Eastwick, Suspect, Moonstruck, Mask: She's terrific in all of them. While establishing herself in Hollywood, she relaunched her singing career in the mid-80s, and struck gold again. A string of albums, each with a hit or two followed. Her risque videos flustered MTV, and Cher just kept going. She made a couple of odd detours, including a run as an infomercial queen, but she managed to make most of us forget that by making new music and movies.


Recently, Cher showcased her voice and acting skills in Burlesque with Christina Aguilera. While the movie didn't do particularly well at the box office, it isn't because of Cher. In fact, if you are inclined to watch this sort of picture (think Chicago or Moulin Rouge) you'll probably get a kick out of it. So, long story short (I know, too late) Cher deserves far more recognition than she gets. She shouldn't be a guilty pleasure at all, just a pleasure. And it shouldn't go unmentioned that Cher has had a number one song in each of the last six decades. Top that, Gaga.