Phrases I'd Like to Never Hear Again

To quote Ann Romney, "Stop it." Everything on this list needs to be out of the lexicon, immediately.

• At the end of the day
• Job creators
• Unskewed polls
• Death tax
• Death panels
• Hey, girl
• That awkward moment
• Protect marriage
• Legitimate rape
• Corporations are people

That'll do for now. . . .

Day Trip to Arizona for Powerball Tickets! (And Lots of Frustration)

On Friday, The Other Half and I tried to take a run to Arizona to buy Powerball tickets. We're not big lottery players, which is fortunate, since we have no lottery in Nevada. But the big jackpot was $240 million, and we had a four-day weekend ahead of us, so why not?  Due to major congestion just outside of Boulder City, we eventually had to turn back. The Other Half had an appointment in the afternoon, and we just didn't know how far we could push it.

So after our weekend activities were complete, I decided to give it a go again today. After all, nobody won on Saturday, and the jackpot is even bigger. We'd already arranged to have others get us some tickets, but it's just not quite the same for other people to find out if we won, is it?  So, I headed out at about 10:30 am. First, I had to get some cash at the bank, where I was waylayed by incredibly selfish folks ahead of me who took at least 10 minutes at the ATM. Grrr. Next, off to get a prescription, and then gas. I got on the road at about 11:10.  The drive to "Rosie's Den" in Arizona is about 55 miles.

Getting to Boulder City is a breeze, and nowhere near as far away from Las Vegas as it seems.  Once there, however, one marvels at how primitive the route to Hoover Dam really is. It's amazing that in 2010, we're still going through a small town, and then onto a two-lane winding, switch-back road to get to a major tourist destination.  Yes, I know that there is a spectacular bypass being built, but it is outrageously late in coming.  Anyway, traffic slowed to a crawl just past Boulder City, and then to a stop several miles from the dam.  The final four miles to Hoover Dam took about 40 minutes. It turns out the entire cause of the stop-and-go traffic is a little checkpoint stop sign.  Amazing.

Once on top of the dam (yes, you have to drive across the top, dodging pedestrians at 5 miles per hour), it was at least 15-20 more minutes to get to the other side.  Entering Arizona, there is a lot of road construction, more switchbacks, and a wavering speed-limit change that finally gives way to the relief of a 65 miles-per-hour highway.  The rest of the ride to Rosie's Den (about one half the total distance of my trip) flew by. I got my tickets at about 1:00 pm.  I was feeling pretty good about my return trip, since the northbound traffic looked pretty good. Wrong!

The checkpoint into Nevada was no problem, with no wait whatsoever. It was when I hit the switchbacks leading to the dam that the traffic stopped. If I got up to 5 mph for the next hour, I'd be surprised.  The pedestrians pose more of a problem in the early afternoon. There are 5 or 6 crosswalks where walkers have absolute right of way, much to my consternation. There are also a few places that tourists try to enter the road in their cars, further slowing things down.  By the time I'd crossed the dam again, I thought I was home free. Nope.  Right underneath the massive new (unopened) bridge, traffic stopped dead. DEAD.  For around 15 minutes, we didn't move at all.  And then, as if by magic, we started moving.

I have no clue what caused that stop. The only thing I saw after things got going again, was a policeman pulling over a family of Latinos.  Illegals? Who knows? But that's all there was, so it must've been something. There were a few other irritants along the way, including a couple of really bad motorcycle riders near Railroad Pass.  But I finally got back--or rather to Sam's Club, where I wanted to shop before going home--at about 2:45 pm.  That's over 3-1/2 hours for a 110-mile round trip.

My frustration returned at Sam's, where a woman with a permanent frown had two separate problems at the checkout, and once they were resolved, only then did she whip out her checkbook. Checkbook! Who uses checkbooks anymore?  Grrr.  But I got my danged lottery tickets!  And yes, I know the odds are only slightly better than if you didn't play at all. But you can't win if you don't play.  And somebody has to win!

RANT: Phrases That Bug

Do you ever hear a slang phrase that really bugs you? Slang always bugs older people, probably because "new" slang is supplanting their own favorite phrases. And if you're older, the new phrases can sound stupid, and even worse when used by older people.

Unfortunately, some of these phrases are here to stay. At least until they are replaced by even newer slang. I think my acceptance of some of these phrases is due to my late-in-blooming, but total fan-boy love for Joss Wheden, and his creations, most notably Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joss has his own way of writing slang--known by some as "Buffy-speak," and many of his phrases have worked their way into my own vocabulary. Even the title of this post is sort of Buffy-speak.

Here are some phrases that I've grudgingly accepted. I'm sure you can think of others.

"Old School" - I'm sure this phrase comes from "older school of thought," but it was originally used to mean anything older, even just a few years old. Now, it seems to have morphed into meaning "simple," "unadorned," or "in its original form."

"My Bad" - This phrase, which means "sorry, my fault" was one that really grated on me, because it usually sounds quite insincere. And it sounds very stupid coming from older, unhip individuals like RNC chairman Michael Steele.

"At the End of the Day" - I've accepted that this phrase is here to stay, but I don't have to like it. Meaning "ultimately," or "when all is said and done," at the end of the day has become a lazy way to bridge a response, especially to a difficult question. It's the kind of thing that Sarah Palin would inject into a long winded answer, along with "all these years," and "this great country of ours." Also.

"The Bomb" ("Da Bomb") - As old as this slang phrase is, for (the even older) "cool," it still pops up with alarming regularity. I'll bet young, hip people don't use it anymore, but you'll find it from unhip people to this day.

"That's So Gay" - OK, this one is hard to take. It's clearly here to stay, but I will protest it anyway. Meaning "that's dumb," or more often, "that's retarded," people who say it will allege that it has nothing to do with homophobia. They don't mean actually "gay" as in homosexual. Except when they do. Because they modify the phrase with clearly gay imagery: "Liberace gay."

OK, so this wasn't really a rant, more of a whine. I'll try to come up with a graphic for that!

Phrases I Don't Want to Hear After Bush is Gone

File this under: "Pet Peeves." I'm hoping over the next several years to never hear the following phrases:

• "Conditions on the ground"
• "Up or down vote/Up and down vote/Up-down vote"
• "The surge is working"
• "Activist judges"
• "Bring 'em on"
• "Islamic fascism"
• "Stay the course"
• "Democrat Party/Democrat Convention (anyplace Democratic should be used, but isn't)"
• "Mission accomplished"
• And any utterance whatsoever by Frank Luntz.

Mmmmkay? Thanks.

Behind the Blogger, Pt. 11: Pet Peeves

Part of my mission here at Greenlee Gazette has been to reveal a little of who I am. My mother doesn't understand blogs, and has said "why would I care what anybody else thinks?" Ordinary humans like to interact with others, but OK, Mom, I 'll take your point to a different place. Why would anyone care what I think if they don't know who I am?
So, I began these Behind the Blogger posts, very shortly after I started the blog. In most cases, these posts are just background on a variety of topics. They're part confessional and part soapbox. But what they don't do (with a few minor exceptions) is display any of my negative qualities. One of which is irrational irritability. I'm not always grouchy, but there are certain days or situations where I'm very prone to strings of profanities over very minor things.

But I'm not alone! I've seen the steamed looks at the grocery when somebody gets in the express lane with a full cart. And I know I'm not the only one screaming at other cars from behind my steering wheel. So without further ado. . .

My Top 10 Pet Peeves

1. People who don't drink coffee black - And it doesn't have to be coffee. It can be any beverage that requires stirring. I pour my cup and go. Others (at the store, at work, etc.) commandeer the beverage area, pouring just a bit of this, just a bit of that, and stirring, stirring, stirrrring. Clink clink clink. All I want is to dash in and pour a cup and go. And they stir endlessly, ensuring that all of the molecules and atoms line up perfectly or something.

2. Copy machines - I'm talking about the new ones. They've gone high-tech, and now practically require a three-day course to operate. The feeders fail to recognize paper and paper sizes, and they will not stop if you make a mistake. Press stop, cancel, clear all--it doesn't matter, they keep spewing paper.

3. Windows print spooler -No matter how many times Microsoft revamps the program, the print spooler still sucks. Jobs fail to print, fail to clear, and then remember something you tried to print yesterday. Infuriating.

4. People who drive in the turn lane - Every day without fail, someone charges out of a parking lot into heavy traffic, and pulls into the "oh, shit" lane beside me. But all their chutzpah leaves them at this point, and they refuse to speed up or slow down to merge. Instead, they travel at my speed beside me, pacing me, and making it my decision what to do about it.

5. Silent robo-calls - If I answer the phone, I want a voice on the other end. If it's a robo-call, I will not be pleased, but the silent ones--where no recorded message comes on at all--really piss me off.

6. Mac & Adobe users - Listen, just because you use Adobe Illustrator and PhotoShop on your George Jetson Macintosh does not mean that it's the only way to get the job done. And it also doesn't mean you're a better artist, or smarter, or cooler.

7. AOL mail - Yeah, I know, why use AOL at all? Let's just say that my company does, OK? And my biggest problem with it is printing mail. Nearly every email prints more paper than necessary. Even 1 page documents will print "Page 2 of 1" or even "Page 3 of 1." I think Time-Warner must be in cahoots with the paper mills.

8. People you can't cook for - Anybody from this list: they don't like tomatoes, lima beans, coffee, beer, crusts on their bread, peas, dairy, wheat, nuts, raisins, corn, broccoli, cauliflower, cooked carrots, cooked onions, raw onions. . .you name it. It's annoying. Oh, and I do it too, I don't like liver, seafood or mushrooms. Oh, well.

9. Droopy pants - The fashion statement that just won't die. Anybody who wears their pants several inches below the waistband of their underwear, particularly those who wear them below their butt cheeks. Why? It looks stupid on anybody.

10. Pointless top 10 lists - Maybe Mom was right. Heh.

Previously:
Behind the Blogger, Pt. 10: Cars I've Owned
Behind the Blogger, Pt. 9: A 9/11 Story
Behind the Blogger, Part Eight: The Weight Thing
Behind the Blogger, Part Seven: The Age Thing
Behind the Blogger, Part Six: The Experience Thing
Behind the Blogger, Part Five: The Debt Thing
Behind the Blogger, Part Four: The Politics Thing
Behind the Blogger, Part Three: The Gay Thing
Behind the Blogger, Part Two: The Religion Thing
Behind the Blogger, Part One: The Blog Thing