Behind the Blogger, Part Three: The Gay Thing

This is a difficult subject to bring up, but probably not for the reasons you might suspect. I've never been much of an activist. I'm sure my Mom thinks I am, since we most often talk while I'm on the computer. I see an interesting story on the topic, say something about it, uh-oh, here he goes with the gay thing again. Bad timing.

I don't have a rainbow flag. No pink triangles, or t-shirts with ironic sayings. No "My Other Car is FABULOUS!" bumper stickers. My only dead giveaway (besides the constant presence of my other half of over nine years) is my somewhat flashy Jeep, now equipped with tiger-print seat covers. And even those were only a slightly over-the-top repair job for split upholstery.

Unfortunately, however, any and every mention of "teh gay" (hee, hee, love that expression) is considered by some to be a political statement. The oh-so-common question asked is, "Why do they have to shove it down my throat?" Discarding the obvious Freudian implications of that question, I wish that people asking it would just think about it for a second. I'd like them to put themselves in my shoes, and try a little experiment:

For just one day, keep track of every depiction you see or hear of heterosexuality. Note it all. Every wedding ring, or photo of a spouse on a desktop. Every billboard, magazine ad, radio commercial, newspaper section (especially wedding announcements, but also obituaries). If someone talks about their date last night, note it. Wife comes to take hubby to lunch? Note it. Movies, TV shows, commercials for eHarmony.com, Viagra and Enzyte. How many instances do you think you'd come up with on average? Dozens? Hundreds? OK, now imagine there were two men or two women in any of the above situations. Instantly, it stands out. It's automatically political. And unfair.

Because of this, most gay people (myself included) hold back part of our lives in reserve, even if we're completely "out" to friends, family and coworkers. We mind our language at the grocery store (no "honey" allowed!). We don't hold hands or show affection in public--or even very much in front of non-gay people we know. We patiently sit through all those hundreds of depictions mentioned above, clamoring for just a little representation. Even when that depiction is sorta bad (think Stephen on Dynasty or Matt on Melrose Place), we watch it anyway. And of course, we then have to listen to people say, "Why does this show have to shove it down our throats!?!" Arrgh!

I've taken this topic into only one of the many tangents I could go off in. I could have told a coming out story. I could talk about how being gay effected "The Religion Thing," maybe how the subject effects "The Politics Thing." I could comment on the juvenile, Jr. High attitude about ANYTHING gay over at FreeRepublic.com (really, I dare you to click the link, and then click "Homosexual Agenda" at the top). Another great topic would be common misconceptions. Still another, how sexuality is fundamentally different as an "issue" when compared to other "hot buttons" like abortion, prayer in school, taxes, etc. Undoubtedly, I will address those issues in future posts.

As previously stated, however, I am not a gay activist. I don't expect this blog to be primarily--or even secondarily--a gay blog. The topic is sure to come up though, as gay issues in politics effect my life directly. Even so, don't worry, Mom. You won't see me on TV, leading a parade dressed as Madonna. Not this year, anyway. . .