My Funeral (A Fantasy)

I have this bizarre fantasy that only occurs to me at odd times, like that little period between waking and sleeping, when you're pondering weird crap, and you have odd swimming shapes before your eyes. The time when if you glance at your bedroom doorway, you can see the shape of a goblin or an alien. And that fantasy is how I'd like my funeral to go. See, I'm an atheist, and have been a non-believer for a very long time. I don't want prayer or Bible verses, or "spirituality"--whatever that is--at my memorial service.

So, what do I want? Well, I'm really not sure. I think maybe that should be decided by my husband, with maybe some input from my family. None of them think I'm religious, and none of them really are either. But back to my fantasy. I have this image of me all laid out in repose--looking far better than I ever have of course, studious glasses perched on my nose, a nice suit, half a smirk on my face. And as the mourners (scores of them of course) file by to pay their last respects, a soft music starts to play. It would be pleasant, but not necessarily identifiable, but would eventually segue into a song called One by One, by Cher. Naturally, right? I mean, I'm gay after all. It's a nice, gentle song about loving one another. Perfect for a funeral, right?



They can even splice the song for length, if necessary, to let the line file by. But at some point, I want another segue. I want a little dramatic lighting. I want the soft song to fade into the dance remix! Maybe even a disco ball, and spotlights! Pulsing lights to the pulsing beat, and the line is played off with a driving, fun, boogieing  send-off! I can see the last batch of mourners dancing, twirling by, filing out of the service with smiles on their faces, and a spring in their step!

I can't think of a better send-off!

Blast from the Past: It's All in the (Re-) Mix!

Some of my favorite songs are actually not original versions, but remixes. Maybe it's the gay thing, but I've always been a fan of remixes, all the way back to the time of 12" singles. If you really dig a song, and then find three remixes of it, it can sometimes be a real thrill (or it can sometimes be mind-numbing drek). Sometimes, the well-known version of a song is the remix, and it's the original that sounds different. And in a couple of odd cases, both versions were popular. Don't know what I mean? Okay. . .

1. & 2. You Don't Know by Cyndi Lauper - The lyrics are the same in both versions of this shoulda-been-a-hit, a song about ignorance and bigotry. The album version was somber and slow. The remixed version is powerful and driving. I like 'em both.


3. & 4. Missing - by Everything but the Girl - This band has quite a following, though this is their only real hit in the US. The song itself wasn't a hit until it was remixed. Compare and contrast. . .


5. & 6. The Reflex - by Duran Duran - Everybody remembers this song, one of the final "heyday" hits by the band. But the version you know sounds very different in its original album version. The remix is definitely an improvement here.



7. & 8. One by One - by Cher - This song is very probably the reason Cher's next album Believe started out dancy. One by One was a languid ballad that was turned into a dance song that lit up the dancefloor.



9. & 10. Express Yourself - Madonna - In this last example, we have a case where both the album version and the remix were hits. In fact, you probably know both versions, and didn't realize how different they are. But there are different instruments, different backing vocals. . . and both are great!

And that'll about do it for this week. Unbelievably, it's time for another work week. So let's make the best of it. Happy Monday!