Blast from the Past: Songs that Should have Been Hits

Yes, this is a rerun, but I've added two new "shoulda beens" to the end!

For this week's Blast from the Past, I'm going to see how many songs I can find that are examples of great songs that either barely hit the Billboard charts, or didn't even break through at all. And I'm sure I'll only crack the surface here. These are the kinds of songs that you either know because they were on an album you played a lot, sometimes on a Greatest Hits collection with some "extras" that really weren't. Or it's an attempt at a comeback from an established star that just didn't do the trick. Whatever it is, these songs all have the makings of a hit, but just. . .weren't for some reason. See how many you know.



1. Ring Ring by ABBA (1973) - This early tune by the Swedish quartet managed to make several world-wide charts, some to number one. But it didn't chart in the states at all. It should have.

2. On and On and On by ABBA (1980) - A later track by the same group had all the makings of a hit (and the by now standard repeating title of many of their others), but only hit #90 in the US. It was still very catchy, and should have been a hit.



3. I'm Gonna Be Strong by Cyndi Lauper (1994) - According to Lauper, this is the song that got her a recording contract. Small wonder. I've always wondered what could have happened if Lauper had been a contestant on American Idol, and belted this out. It's amazing.

4. You Don't Know by Cyndi Lauper (1997) - As you can now tell, I have some favorite artists who have several songs I think should have been hits. This one was probably hampered by an album track that was slow and languid. This dance version is one of my favorites, a song about the stupidity of bigotry.



5. Quantum Mechanic by Thomas Dolby and Dr. Fiorella Terenzi (1994) - This great tune from the Gate to the Mind's Eye soundtrack always made me happy. And should have been released.

6. UMF by Duran Duran (1993) - One of several tracks from "The Wedding Album," something of a comeback album that did have a couple of hits. UMF stands for "ultimate mind f**k," thought the profanity is never uttered.



7. Only You by Pat Benatar (1997) - Again, a great album, chock full of great tunes, but it still couldn't revive Benatar's hit-making career.

8. Try by Billy Pilgrim (1994) - I saw this band when they opened for Melissa Etheridge on tour. I bought their album, and totally dug it. This is one of their best songs, and it turned up on a compilation or two, but didn't really go anywhere. Great harmonies.



9. Rock D.J. by Robbie Williams (2000) - This incredibly catchy dance tune was a hit around the world, but didn't manage more than #24 on the dance chart in the US. Maybe it had something to do with the gory, out-of-left-field video.

10. Little Bird by Annie Lennox (1993) - This is (along with a couple of other tracks that didn't chart) one of my favorite Lennox tunes. Amazing that I didn't do better.



11. One by One by Cher (1996) - Like the Cyndi Lauper tune, You Don't Know above, this one had a down-tempo album version, and this spirited dance version. The dance version charted at #6, the album version at #52. I'm fairly certain it was this song's performance that made Cher go straight for dance releases like Believe after this.

12. That's What I Think by Cyndi Lauper (1993) - Another Lauper tune, I can't help myself. I think she's been criminally overlooked. This one she even plays the recorder. I remember her blowing David Letterman away when she performed it on his show.

And that will wrap it up for now. I realized as I was writing that there are many, many songs I listen to that were never hits but seemingly could have been. Give these a listen, and look forward to another edition. This one is worth a sequel. (or a rerun, heh)

Happy Monday!

BONUS: Here's the Letterman clip.

Blast from the Past: The Best of Cyndi Lauper

I say this with sadness: though Cyndi Lauper is an outrageously talented woman, and people still know who she is, her music is tragically stalled in the 80s. I don't know why this is. I don't know if she has a bad agent. Maybe she ticked someone in the industry off? She should by all rights have had two or three "comebacks" by now, and be sharing the "diva" status of Cher or Tina Turner. Maybe she'll surprise us yet. In the mean time, here are some of the hits (and other songs) that make Cyndi one of my favorite artists.

And that rerun, folks, is the best I'm gonna get up this week! Busy doings at the Greenlee Gazette household. Happy Monday anyway!

Blast from the Past: Class of '84, The Women

I graduated high school thirty years ago, give or take a few weeks. And for all the crap 80s music gets for its soulless sound, there actually were a lot of good songs back then. They seem a lot more recent to me than three decades gone. Maybe because they have gotten so much play since then. And it's true, a lot of 80s music is crap--even If I like it, colored with my heaping helpings of nostalgia. But, you know what? A lot of it's pretty damned good in any time period.

I'm going to start my Orwellian tribute with the ladies of rock. Not the bands, that comes later. This is the solo women of rock, pop, whatever you call the hits of the 80s. And yes, I'm aware that even solo acts have backing bands, but I'm going with how they classify themselves. I'm not always going with the most obvious tracks either, no sir. These are my favorites, which usually skew to the slightly more obscure. So, come along with me, and hear the voices of the ladies who serenaded the Class of 1984!

1. All Through the Night by Cyndi Lauper - This was one of five hits from Lauper's debut album. A first in history, that accomplishment.
2. We Belong by Pat Benatar - Pat's one of my all-time favorites, and it's a shame (as it is with Cyndi) that her heyday is her only day to so many people. She's too good to be pigeon-holed.



3. Better be Good to Me by Tina Turner - Yes, What's Love Got to Do with It is a bit more famous, but this one is more timeless.
4. Self Control byLaura Branigan - Gloria is better known, but this one is just better.



5. Material Girl by Madonna - She ended up getting the name of this song as a nickname for a while. Ironic, when you consider she made all of her jack, herself. No man did it for her.
6. Twist of Fate by Olivia Newton-John - Love her, and love other songs of hers more than this one, but it was huge in '84.





7. 99 Red Balloons by Nena - This is probably a weird one today, but in 1984, cold war tensions ran high. Nena was German, and sang this song in her own language. But there was an English version of the song, and a Germanglish one too.
8. Breakdance by Irene Cara - Bet you forgot this one.



9. They Don't Know by Tracy Ullman - Funny lady Ullman had a big hit here in the states before we knew who she was. I loved it.
10. Let's Hear it for the Boy by Deniece Williams - From Footloose, this trifle nonetheless left its mark on '84.



Surprisingly, I found little else, beyond other hits by these same artists, for  popular songs by solo women. I'll follow this list with the gents, probably with women-headed groups, and a few other '84 odds and ends. But I was surprised to find so few female solo artists hitting it big in my senior year.

But it's better today, right!? So, happy Monday everyone! Have a great week.

Blast from the Past: Gay Anthems, Part II

Since we're still early in June, which is Gay Pride month, and it's The Other Half's birthday, I thought I'd continue with the theme of "gay anthems," those you don't have to be gay. . .but it couldn't hurt! -type songs. Of course, there are so many to choose from, I didn't have room for all of them last week anyway. Let's get started.

1. Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat (1984) - I'll confess to missing this one, having been firmly stuck on top-40 music at the time, and only 18. Still, my younger (straight) brother insisted that it get a spot this week! Apparently, it was really, really gay.
2. Express Yourself by Madonna (1989) - One of Madge's best, and certainly her most stylish video.



3. You Spin Me 'Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive (1985) - Pete Burns was like the sinister Boy George, and this song was everywhere in 1985.
4. Brand New Lover by Dead or Alive (1986) - Just as fun as the previous tune.



5. No More Tears (Enough is Enough) by Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer (1979) - I mean, like you could get these divas together, and it not be a gay anthem? Unfortunately, there is no video. But that note Babs holds? Fabulous.
6. Believe by Cher (1998) - About time Cher made an appearance, right? And at the time, people were marveling at her longevity. . .16 years ago.



7. Lady Marmalade by LaBelle (1974) - Sure, the Christina Aguilera/P!nk/Li'l Kim/Mya cover version might qualify, but this is the classic original, and even burst on the scene before disco really went mainstream.
8. True Colors by Cyndi Lauper (1985) - When I think of a gay anthem, I think "upbeat," but there can be no denying this one has it's place in our big gay hearts.



9. Beautiful by Christina Aguilera (2002) - Much like the previous entry, this ballad is on the list, even if it's a bit sad. It's the defiance that sells it.
10. We are Family by Sister Sledge (1979) - But we've got to get it back to a dance party, right? And why this one didn't occur to me last time, I have no idea. So, let's dance this weekend out!


And I still left out any Donna Summer solo songs, and countless others. Maybe we'll revisit this party to close out the month. Happy Monday, everybody.

Blast from the Past: Songs That Should Have Been Hits

For this week's Blast from the Past, I'm going to see how many songs I can find that are examples of great songs that either barely hit the Billboard charts, or didn't even break through at all. And I'm sure I'll only crack the surface here. These are the kinds of songs that you either know because they were on an album you played a lot, sometimes on a Greatest Hits collection with some "extras" that really weren't. Or it's an attempt at a comeback from an established star that just didn't do the trick. Whatever it is, these songs all have the makings of a hit, but just. . .weren't for some reason. See how many you know.



1. Ring Ring by ABBA (1973) - This early tune by the Swedish quartet managed to make several world-wide charts, some to number 1. But it didn't chart in the states at all. It should have.

2. On and On and On by ABBA (1980) - A later track by the same group had all the makings of a hit (and the by now standard repeating title of many of their others), but only hit #90 in the US.



3. I'm Gonna Be Strong by Cyndi Lauper (1994) - According to Lauper, this is the song that got her a recording contract. Small wonder. I've always wondered what could have happened if Lauper had been a contestant on American Idol, and belted this out. It's amazing.

4. You Don't Know by Cyndi Lauper (1997) - As you can now tell, I have some favorite artists who have several songs I think should have been hits. This one was probably hampered by an album track that was slow and languid. This dance version is one of my favorites, a song about the stupidity of bigotry.



5. Quantum Mechanic by Thomas Dolby and Dr. Fiorella Terenzi (1994) - This great tune from the Gate to the Mind's Eye soundtrack always made me happy. And should have been released.

6. UMF by Duran Duran (1993) - One of several tracks from "The Wedding Album," something of a comeback album that did have a couple of hits. UMF stands for "ultimate mind f**k," thought the profanity is never uttered.



7. Only You by Pat Benatar (1997) - Again, a great album, chock full of great tunes, but it still couldn't revive Benatar's hit-making career.

8. Try by Billy Pilgrim (1994) - I saw this band when they opened for Melissa Etheridge on tour. I bought their album, and totally dug it. This is one of their best songs, and it turned up on a compilation or two, but didn't really go anywhere. Great harmonies.



9. Rock D.J. by Robbie Williams (2000) - This incredibly catchy dance tune was a hit around the world, but didn't manage more than #24 on the dance chart in the US. Maybe it had something to do with the gory, out-of-left-field video.

10. Little Bird by Annie Lennox (1993) - This is (along with a couple of other tracks that didn't chart) one of my favorite Lennox tunes. Amazing that I didn't do better.

And that will wrap it up for now. I realized as I was writing that there are many, many songs I listen to that were never hits but seemingly could have been. Give these a listen, and look forward to another edition. This one is worth a sequel.

Happy Monday!

Holiday Cheer: Cyndi Lauper's Merry Christmas. . .Have a Nice Life!

Christmas kind of snuck up on me this year. I didn't even bust out my Christmas CDs, in the annual battle of "contemporary" music with The Other Half's more traditional stuff. One of my perennials is Merry Christmas. . .Have a Nice Life! by Cyndi Lauper. I've long thought that Lauper was a vastly underrated artist, one who deserves a major comeback. So, in my own little effort, here are a few of my favorite Cyndi Lauper Christmas songs.

Christmas Conga



Early Christmas Morning



Home on Christmas



Minnie and Santa
 

Blast from the Past: Cyndi Lauper

I've run this edition of Blast from the Past more than once, with some change-outs in the included clips. But I'm running it again, because at last, the divine Ms. Lauper is a bona fide, screaming success again on Broadway. For a long-time fan like me, it's both thrilling and vindicating. But what took so long? Congratulations to a fantastically talented lady on her long overdue success.

So, to refresh your memory, here are some of her biggest hits, and best songs.

Of course, Cyndi has more hits than that, and also some more recent music. I included a couple of non-hits that are nonetheless some of my favorites. But I'd really love it if she could use her show as a springboard to a chart comeback!

Meanwhile, have a great first full work week of the year. Happy Monday!

Blast from the Past: Cyndi Lauper

Since Cyndi Lauper has a new reality show debuting this week, it seems like the perfect time to remind people who she is. I say this with a measure of  sadness: though Cyndi Lauper is an outrageously talented woman, and people still know who she is, her pop culture identity is tragically stalled in the 80s. I don't know why this is. I don't know if she has a bad agent. Maybe she ticked someone in the industry off? She should by all rights have had two or three "comebacks" by now, and be sharing the "diva" status of Cher or Tina Turner. Cyndi is one of my favorite artists, and I'm glad to see that Cyndi Lauper: Still So Unusual debuts on Saturday, January 12 at 9 pm on WE (whatever that is, check your local listings.

So, to refresh your memory, here are some of her biggest hits, and best songs.

Of course, Cyndi has more hits than that, and also some more recent music. I included a couple of non-hits that are nonetheless some of my favorites. But I'd really love it if she could use this show as a springboard to a comeback!

Meanwhile, have a great first full work week of the year. Happy Monday!

The Christmas Conga by Cyndi Lauper

This is one of my favorite Christmas songs of all time. "I wish you joy that never ends, happy times with all your friends!" is a good line, but the best one is Turn on the yule log, spike up the egg nog, and break those resolutions!"

Blast from the Past: It's All in the (Re-) Mix!

Some of my favorite songs are actually not original versions, but remixes. Maybe it's the gay thing, but I've always been a fan of remixes, all the way back to the time of 12" singles. If you really dig a song, and then find three remixes of it, it can sometimes be a real thrill (or it can sometimes be mind-numbing drek). Sometimes, the well-known version of a song is the remix, and it's the original that sounds different. And in a couple of odd cases, both versions were popular. Don't know what I mean? Okay. . .

1. & 2. You Don't Know by Cyndi Lauper - The lyrics are the same in both versions of this shoulda-been-a-hit, a song about ignorance and bigotry. The album version was somber and slow. The remixed version is powerful and driving. I like 'em both.


3. & 4. Missing - by Everything but the Girl - This band has quite a following, though this is their only real hit in the US. The song itself wasn't a hit until it was remixed. Compare and contrast. . .


5. & 6. The Reflex - by Duran Duran - Everybody remembers this song, one of the final "heyday" hits by the band. But the version you know sounds very different in its original album version. The remix is definitely an improvement here.



7. & 8. One by One - by Cher - This song is very probably the reason Cher's next album Believe started out dancy. One by One was a languid ballad that was turned into a dance song that lit up the dancefloor.



9. & 10. Express Yourself - Madonna - In this last example, we have a case where both the album version and the remix were hits. In fact, you probably know both versions, and didn't realize how different they are. But there are different instruments, different backing vocals. . . and both are great!

And that'll about do it for this week. Unbelievably, it's time for another work week. So let's make the best of it. Happy Monday!

Blast from the Past: Songs & Artists American Idol Should Cover

As I sat down for this week's edition of Blast from the Past, I thought about tying it to the Super Bowl (the game with the number that heralds my age every year. . .I'll be XLVI!!!).  But everyone is doing that this weekend. So, during my walk, I was listening to Pandora, and Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun came on. It's an 80s favorite, but have you ever listened not so much to the song, but to Cyndi's voice? There is real power there! And I got to thinking about songs and artists that the youngsters on American Idol ought to be covering, if they want to blow the judges away.

Now, I haven't watched every episode of the show, frankly having lost interest the year Paula Abdul left. So, some of these songs, and surely some of the artists have been done. Not the point. Put the nostalgia and the personalities. Listen to the voices here.



1. I'm Gonna be Strong, Cyndi Lauper - Girls may be her signature song, but take a listen to this one, the song that got her a recording contract. Close your eyes, and imagine if this voice hit that stage with no buildup.

2. Pavement Cracks, Annie Lennox - As half of Eurythmics, Annie is often remembered in the same category as Cyndi, with unusual hair, makeup and clothing. But she has a clear, unmistakable, beautiful voice.




3. Hard Candy Christmas, Dolly Parton - When Idol contestants try to do runs and trills, it usually seems like showing off, and seems forced. When Dolly does it, it sounds effortless and natural. I'm not a fan of her country music--for the most part--but there is no denying her talent.

4. Promises in the Dark, Pat Benatar - Pat is mostly remembered for her makeup, her leg warmers and other hideous 80s fashions. But she has an astonishing voice with a wide range, exhibited in a variety of genres. This one was chosen for its hard edge, but softness too.




5. Kissing a Fool, George Michael - George Michael has unfortunately been more well known in recent years as a tabloid fixture. But his voice combined with his good looks made for an amazing combination for a while in the 80s and 90s. He seemed to have a complex about the looks part, but the strength of his voice was never in doubt. Listen to this song--particularly the bridge--and imagine Idol judges heads exploding.

6. A Little More Love, Olivia Newton-John - ONJ has always been one of my favorites. Her beauty
was staggering back in the day, but her voice was so pretty and clear. Listen to this one, how in each chorus, she changes the note pattern, and yet is always in perfect pitch.




7. It Must Have Been Love, Roxette - Yes, your memories of Roxette are covered with cheese. But they're better than you remember. As proof, this song. Listen to lead singer, Marie Fredriksson. From the soft notes to the power belting, this would wow the judges.

8. Rockin' Back Inside My Heart, Julee Cruise - Best known for the theme from Twin Peaks, and her performances within the show, Cruise has a voice I once read described as "an angel on quaaludes." Idol might not be able to showcase a voice this unique. But imagine if this song came out of one of those young waifs!

And that will do it for me for now. I'm off to a Super Bowl party, and we'll have to see if I have any more blogging in me afterward! Either way, happy have a good week!

Holiday Cheer: Cyndi Lauper's Merry Christmas. . .Have a Nice Life!

Christmas kind of snuck up on me this year. I didn't even bust out my Christmas CDs, in the annual battle of "contemporary" music with The Other Half's more traditional stuff. One of my perennials is Merry Christmas. . .Have a Nice Life! by Cyndi Lauper. I've long thought that Lauper was a vastly underrated artist, one who deserves a major comeback. So, in my own little effort, here are a few of my favorite Cyndi Lauper Christmas songs.

Christmas Conga



Early Christmas Morning



Home on Christmas

Shoulda Been a Hit: You Don't Know by Cyndi Lauper

Have you ever heard a song that was so good, you couldn't believe it wasn't a hit? For me, one of those songs is You Don't Know by Cyndi Lauper. I happened to catch Cyndi singing it live at Las Vegas' Gay Pride event many years ago. Cyndi was pregnant at the time (though she claimed her belly was from drinking a lot of beer, in her New York accent). I thought it was a fantastic song at the time, and I still do.

You Don't Know was originally a slower song, with a serious message. But the dance version really drives the message home. As you listen, read along with the lyrics, and think of the typical FOX "News" viewer. Or that oddball relative at Thanksgiving last week. This song should've been a hit.


"You Don't Know" by Cyndi Lauper

You don't know where you belong
You should be more careful
As you follow blindly along ...
You just need to belong somehow.


Relying on rhetoric ...
Not well versed on topics ...
Any idea what you're talking about ?
Revisions of history
Fair well in some company
But don't shove that bullshit down my throat


You don't know where you belong ...
You should be more careful
As you follow blindly along ...
To find something to swear to ...
Till you don't know what's right from wrong
You just need to belong somehow.


Left suppresses right
Right suppresses left
So what's the left, and what's right?
You're told what to wear,
You're told what to like
It'd be nice if you'd think for yourself sometime,
But you don't.
Now you don't know where you belong ...
You should be more careful
As you follow blindly along ...


Mix sheer hypocrisy with mediocrity
You'll play it safe every time -
So life turns up empty
And you're so dissatisfied
Who are you blaming this time?

Why don't you know?

First, the album version (more somber)

And now, the dance version (my fave).

Blast from the Past: Cyndi Lauper

I say this with sadness: though Cyndi Lauper is an outrageously talented woman, and people still know who she is, her music is tragically stalled in the 80s. I don't know why this is. I don't know if she has a bad agent. Maybe she ticked someone in the industry off? She should by all rights have had two or three "comebacks" by now, and be sharing the "diva" status of Cher or Tina Turner. Maybe she'll surprise us yet. In the mean time, here are some of the hits (and other songs) that make Cyndi one of my favorite artists.

Holiday Cheer: A Cyndi Lauper Christmas

Christmas kind of snuck up on me this year. I didn't even bust out my Christmas CDs, in the annual battle of "contemporary" music with The Other Half's more traditional stuff. One of my perennials is Merry Christmas. . .Have a Nice Life! by Cyndi Lauper. I've long thought that Lauper was a vastly underrated artist, one who deserves a major comeback. So, in my own little effort, here are a few of my favorite Cyndi Lauper Christmas songs.

Christmas Conga



Early Christmas Morning



Home on Christmas

Blast from the Past: Classic MTV Videos

When I needed an idea for this week's installment of Blast from the Past, my friend Tracy suggested early MTV videos.  Since the MTV Video Music Awards just happened, and MTV doesn't play much in the way of actual music anymore, I thought perfect! Plus, I was the perfect age (class of 1984) for the original incarnation of Music Television, and it was highly influential in my generation's pop culture.  So, let us begin. . .








1. "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles - I don't think this song made much of a splash on radio at the time, but it was the very first video played on MTV in 1981.
2. "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits - MTV goes meta. A tv-ready video with Sting in the background crooning "I want my MTV!"
3. "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar - I love Pat Benatar, but even I have to laugh at her dancing in this one.
4. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper - Cyndi (much like Pat) got unfairly pigeonholed as an 80s act, thanks in large part to this iconic video.
5. "Centerfold" by J. Geils Band - This one was a biggie. And I'll never forget the snare drum full of milk.
6. "The Warrior" by Scandal- Patty Smythe with weird makeup in a post-apocalyptic, dystopian future. . .with hot guys.
7. "Black or White" by Michael Jackson - By the 1990s, MTV was already well on its way to ditching music videos as a format (which still makes no sense to me). Leave it to Michael Jackson to revitalize the medium with this clip, at least for a while.
8. "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood - But we've got to go back to the 80s, for one of the earliest cases of  censorship on MTV.  Here's the banned version that you probably don't remember.

I'm thinking this set is going to need a sequel. . .

Cyndi Lauper Speaks!

I can't say how much I love Cyndi Lauper.  For me, there are four popular artists of the eighties who seem to have gotten largely stuck there, unfairly (the others being Pat Benatar, George Michael and Olivia Newton-John).  All of these artists are amazing talents, and all have been shunted into nostalgia. No fair, man.

But Cyndi is the one who I really connect with.  Not only is she amazingly talented, but her political outlook matches mine to a "T."  Here is Cyndi, in her own words.

Holiday Cheer: Favorite "Contemporary" Christmas Songs

Another one from the vaults. . .

These are some of my favorite Christmas songs, the "contemporary" kind. And kids, I know to you these are "old school" songs, but to we 40-plussers, these are modern songs. Enjoy.

[From Original post]

I noted in a previous (also frivolous) post that I'm not big on traditional Christmas music. Choirs and churchy stuff just don't do it for me. I like the funny stuff, and the more modern tunes. Of course, some of the modern songs have become almost traditional, haven't they? Here are some of my favorites. . .




#1 - Feels Like Christmas - Cyndi Lauper: This song is from Cyndi's outstanding Merry Christmas. . .Have a Nice Life album from several years ago. The album is chock-full of great songs. This is a good one, but not the best one on the album. Unfortunately, finding video clips of these songs is more difficult than I thought!

#2 - Step into Christmas - Elton John: This is one of my favorite "modern" Christmas songs. Modern is in quotes because this is clearly from Elton's 70s heyday. But whatever, I love it!

#3 - Put a Little Love in Your Heart - Annie Lennox & Al Green: Sadly, this song is another substitution, for Eurythmics' superb Winter Wonderland, which is unavailable. This may not seem like a Christmas song on its face, but it's from the movie Scrooged, and is very much a Christmas video. And it gives me that same chill Winter Wonderland does.

#4 - Happy New Year - ABBA: OK, officially this is an after Christmas song, but it belongs at the end of your Christmas mix CD. And it beats the crap out of Dan Fogleburp's Auld Lang Syne, doesn't it? Now, if they could just go in and re-dub the "end of a decade" and "1989" parts, it would be perfect.

Here's a bonus, the still unavailable Winter Wonderland from Eurythmics. . .audio only.

Ellen DeGeneres Named Fourth Judge on American Idol

I love Ellen. But I still wish they'd have gone with my choice, Cyndi Lauper. Funny, quirky and mad talented. It would have been like Paula, but with talent. Ooh, snap! Anyway, good on Ellen. She's funny, and has her finger on the pulse of pop culture.

Holiday Cheer: Worst Holiday Songs

Image from source, AOL

Let me start out by saying that I disagree strongly with at least two choices on this list: Madonna's Santa Baby is one. It was a remake of an old Eartha Kitt song, true. And it was done in a breathy, Marilyn Monroe-wishing-JFK-a-happy-birthday voice, but I still love it. She was in her Who's That Girl phase, and it fit in perfectly with her persona when it was released.

Now, Paul McCartney's tune? Not so good. Springsteen's? A little tough to take. But Cyndi Lauper's Christmas Conga? That's one of my favorites! And how could they leave out The Christmas Shoes by NewSong? That is easily the hands-down winner for the worst Christmas song of all time. No contest.

[Excerpt]

12 Worst Christmas Songs

Christmas songs can reconnect us to our childhood sense of wonder, or drive us right up the freakin' chimney. For the 12 days of Christmas, we've made our lists of the naughtiest and nicest non-novelty rock-era ditties. You check 'em twice. . .

Read more at: AOL