Halloween Horrors: Greenlee Gazette's Guide to the Halloween Movie Franchise

Here's my take on the Halloween movie franchise. Keep in mind, the ratings are genre-specific, and don't necessarily apply to other movies in general.

Image from Wikipedia

Halloween (1978) - John Carpenter struck gold with the original in the series. He created the faceless killing machine (Michael Myers), the "you're dead if you have sex/drink/party/do drugs" horror cliche. And Carpenter's score for the film is amazingly creepy. Easily the best in the series, in fact the best of the genre. And Jamie Lee Curtis was fantastic, as was Donald Pleasence. ****

Halloween II (1981) - Picks up immediately after part one, and holds very close to the tone and the quality. More gore, more violence and more inventive kills are a consequence of the other (copycat) slasher pix being made at the time, and the reason many dislike this entry. Curtis and Pleasence still are in top form, and Michael Myers seems to utterly meet his end. In fact, unless you're fanwanking, you can't really explain his later resurrection. Also notable for the fantastic soundtrack, an improvement on the original. Great to have on the stereo to creep out the trick-or-treaters. ***



Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) - The creators decided to drop the storyline, and try a different sort of Halloween movie, which was pretty good, but disappointed most fans. It had nothing to do with the previous films, other than the producers, and similar eerie music. Had it been successful, there were supposed to be other unrelated, Halloween-themed movies in the series. The film had one of the coolest logos in the whole series, as seen in the image on the right. **

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) - They went back to the original story (and dropped the roman numerals), which continued the storyline of Michael Myers, and ignored the ending of the second movie, where Michael Myers clearly died. The great thing about Halloween 4 was that the characters reacted like normal people--trying to get the heck out of dodge--and died anyway. Very close to the tone of the first two, and a great performance by Pleasence. ***

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) - OK, but weaker than the previous films. Continues the storyline from part 4, but adds a psychic angle, shifting the tone of the series. **

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) They dropped the number, and tried to add new elements that weren't in the previous films (Michael was a Druid?). The series was running out of steam. *

Halloween: H20 (1989) - 20 years into the franchise, this entry tried to reinvigorate the storyline. Donald Pleasence had died, but Jamie Lee Curtis was back, and parts 4, 5 and 6 were pretty much ignored. They even brought in Janet Leigh (Jamie Lee Curtis' real mother, and star of Psycho). H20 was an improvement, but the concept was really running on fumes. **

Dreadful. From Wikipedia.

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) - The less said about part 8, the better. It attempts to update the series for the internet era. Not an improvement. Don't bother. *

Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007) - This film was ultimately unnecessary, as the original was impossible to top. The attempt to reboot the series, and bring it into the 21st century isn't a total misfire, but is kind of pointless. As far as remakes go, it isn't bad.  Malcolm McDowell does an okay job as Loomis, but nobody can replace Jamie Lee Curtis.  **

Rob Zombie's Halloween II (2009) - Terrible. That is all. Zero Stars

So, to sum up, if you want to see any of the films in this series, go for the original part I, probably part II, and if that isn't enough for you, part 4 and the first remake. Beware 6, 7 and 8 as well as the second remake, and only watch III for the curiosity factor. And there you have it. Happy Halloween!

Blast from the Past: Positively Perfect Pop Songs!

Pop music gets very little respect from music fans. For those of us who like it, it's just a fun confection, an enjoyable lark. From "real" music fans, pop music is disposable, meaningless, without artistic merit. The equivalent of Stephen King or Dean Koontz in the fiction genre. Well, you know what? I dig King and Koontz! And I dig pop music too!

There are numerous pop songs that just strike me as pop confection perfection. And this is my list of some of the best of the best.

1. Misery - Maroon 5 - This group, headlined by The Voice's Adam Levine, is one of the most successful acts at crafting pure pop perfection. Usually, they include a little profanity to add a little street cred. But their songs are just little balls of perfectly crafted song candy. Misery is one of the best, making an abusive relationship sound fun and bouncy! Yay! I'm in misery!

2. Express Yourself - Madonna - It would be impossible to narrow down Madonna's discography to find the best, most perfect pop song. That's why I didn't, and there is more than one. This one isn't just perfect, it has alternate versions that are equally perfect! And that shouldn't be possible!



3. Mony Mony - Billy Idol - This is an eighties version of a sixties song, that is largely meaningless. But it is absolute perfection in what it sets out to do: set dance floors on fire, and make people happy for no reason. Its recent inclusion in a Nissan Sentra ad is just proof.

4. Steal My Sunshine - Len - Usually, when an act samples parts of another song to put into their own, the result is derivative, uninspired and something of a retread. In this case, one-hit-wonder Len achieves pop perfection, using Andrea True's More, More, More disco tune as a foundation.



5. Just Can't Get Enough - Depeche Mode - You can tell when even an "alternative" band has become mainstream when their old tunes not only get mixed in on "80s and More!" radio stations, but get put into GAP ads. This song might be from a band with a heavy artistic cred, but the song is a pop meringue.

6. Vogue - Madonna - Leave it to Madonna to take an underground gay dance craze, and turn it into mainstream success. And then, make it enough of a classic that if you played it on any dance floor 20+ years later, it would still draw a crowd.



7. Waterloo - ABBA - I am of the opinion that ABBA's catalog--almost all of it--could be released today, and be successful. Many, if not most of their hit songs are masterpieces of pop music. Songs like Ring, Ring and On and On and On should be re-released, just to see what happens. But Waterloo, to me, is a perfect pop song.

8. A Little More Love - Olivia Newton-John - This one might seem like a stretch, but hear me out. Pay attention to Olivia's change-ups in melody. Notice that she changes the note structure in each lead-in to the chorus, and each chorus itself. Much like Adam Levine does in Maroon 5, Olivia plays with the notes, going all over the place, but always in tune, and sounding perfect.




Okay, kids, that's my bit for this week. Hope you had a great Easter and/or Walking Dead finale weekend! Have a great week, and happy Monday!

Halloween Horrors: Greenlee Gazette's Top 10 FUNNY Horror Movies

Every October, I run a series of Top 10 lists of different types of horror movies for Halloween for the people who likely missed them in years past. So, if you're looking for some Halloween horror, but you'd like it tempered with a bit of humor, here are ten options for your movie night!


Yes, horror can make you scream and laugh. Some of these films are straight-ahead comedies with horror thrown in. Some are horror with comedy thrown in. And some may be unintentionally funny. But if you like your scary movies cut with a little bit of humor, these are the films for you.

Greenlee Gazette Top 10 Funny Horror Movies

1. Shaun of the Dead (2004) - This movie is a horror spoof, but it doesn't spare the shocks, or the gross-outs. It's probably the best horror spoof ever made (I don't count the fantastic Young Frankenstein, which is more spoof than horror). It helps if you like British humour.

2. Fright Night (1986) - This film isn't quite a spoof, but it is surely an homage to the old "chiller theater" TV programs of years gone by. Excellent performances, lots of laughs, and a shock or two. It does suffer a bit for its obvious 80s fashions, though.

3. Army of Darkness (1992) - The third of the Evil Dead series was the most mainstream, and more straight-ahead comedy. I recommend getting Evil Dead 2 (which is sort of a higher-budget remake of part 1) in tandem with this one. A classic.

4. Final Destination 2 (2003) - This horror film isn't exactly a comedy. But try not to laugh (maybe nervously) at the inventive and gory kills in this one. Better than parts 1 or 3 by a long shot. And some genuine thrills.

5. Critters (1986) - Riding the Gremlins and Ghoulies wave of the 80s, this New Line Cinema (A Nightmare on Elm Street) offering offers thrills and laughs--most intentional. Actually manages to be cute and scary.

6. Psycho II (1983) - The sequel to the all time classic is not the fright-fest it could have been. Tony Perkins is clearly playing it for laughs. And he gets them. Avoid any further sequels and remakes.

7. April Fool's Day (1986) - One of my all time favorites. Every holiday got its horror movie in the 80s, and this one has a novel twist. Gamely played by actors a notch above the typical horror flick. I recently re-watched this one, and it still holds up. I haven't yet seen the remake, though I've heard nothing good about it, so look for the date on the box.

8. The Car (1978) - James Brolin fighting a car possessed by the devil. This one could have made my "BAD" horror list, but it does have some shocks. But, just try not to laugh when The Car kills the tuba player. . .

9. Freddy vs. Jason (2003) - The terror is long drained out of both of these series, so the kills are mostly for laughs. A good time anyway. But who really won?

10. The Blob (1986) - I've blogged about this one before, and it is one of my favorites. Funny mostly for Kevin Dillon's mullet, and the general 80s vibe. Still has a few shocks and is most enjoyable.

PREVIOUSLY:
Halloween Horrors: Psycho
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 FUNNY Horror Movies
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 SCARY Horror Movies
Halloween Horrors: Overlooked Horror Films
Halloween Horrors: A Nightmare on Elm Street
Movies I Can't Wait to See: Friday the 13th
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 BAD Horror Movies
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 CLASSIC Horror Movies

Halloween Horrors: Top 10 SCARY Horror Movies

Back in the early days of the blog, I posted a series of lists of my favorite Halloween films. Since then, I've written more, and repost some of them every year, with a few updates and additions. This one is one of the most important, if you actually want to get scared by your horror. . .

Image from Wikipedia.org

There are nearly as many "top 10" horror movie lists as there are horror fans. But, for the list to have any relevance, you have to quantify what you mean by "horror." There's the kind of movie that really scares you, and keeps you up at night. There's the kind that makes you laugh (yes, horror can be funny). And there's the kind that is just iconic--they might not scare you exactly, but leaving them off of your list is heresy.

So, because I'm unable to whittle all of those types down to 10, here is one that is just focussed on the really scary horror movies. Hopefully, you can use this for your Halloween night suggestion list.

Greenlee Gazette Top 10 Scary Horror Movies

1. The Exorcist (1973) - This is the granddaddy of all scary movies. Even better if you're Catholic (so I'm told), or have ever had a devil dream (which I have). Loses none of its punch, 35 years later, except for a few anachronisms that remind you: "Hey, this is a 70s movie," like lighting up cigarettes in a hospital! You know the movie has really got something when it can effect a completely non-religious cynic like me!

2. The Hitcher (1986) - Maybe not strictly "horror," but definitely scary. The first time I watched this, I was on the edge of my seat for the whole film. Rutger Hauer is one of the scariest villains ever on screen. Sometimes the tension is almost unbearable. Though C. Thomas Howell's 80s 'do might take you out of the moment. But, skip the sequel and the remake, seriously.

3. Dawn of the Dead (1978) - The greatest zombie movie of all time packs in the gore, shocks and scares. Possibly the best low-budget horror movie of all time. Even Leonard Maltin thinks so. Mall culture may be dying, but not quite like this! The sequel looks newer and snazzier, sure, but the original can't be beat.

4. The Omen (1976) - Creepy, scary and right up there with The Exorcist for religion-inspired nightmares. That little Damien kid is the archetype for all scary horror movie children. Yet another where you can skip the remake, but the first two sequels have their moments.

5. Halloween (1978) - The godfather of slasher flicks, this film will actually make you jump. Great suspense, good payoffs, and an incredible score. Jamie Lee Curtis is the best movie scream queen in cinema history. The first remake was okay, but not this good (and not scary). But if you like this one, Parts 2, 4 and 5 are pretty good. The rest are rubbish, as is the remake of part 2.

6. 28 Days Later (2003) - A modern update of zombie movies--sort of. It will scare you, and give you a vague discomfort hours later. The sequel? Nah.

7. Phantasm (1979) - This (extremely) low-budget film has more scares than some entire horror franchises. The Tall Man is one of the creepiest villains ever on film, short of Dick Cheney.

8. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - Sure, you may have forgotten that the series started out scary, but the first film in the franchise delivers the scares, and an eerie nightmare vibe. First time viewers will have a hard time sorting out dreams from reality. Some of the sequels are good, but none are as scary.

9. Hostel (2005) - This is in the current trend of "horror porn," where the camera lingers on the cruelty and gore. But it is undeniably scary, and will freak you out. The sequel? Not so much.

10. Hellraiser (1987) - The series has been diluted by the countless sequels, but the original still gives me the creeps. Pinhead and his Cenobites will tear your soul apart! Again, sequelitis robs this one of its novelty and creepiness. So, avoid them if you're looking to get frightened.

(Bonus) Buried (2010) - While this movie may not quite be typical Halloween fare, it is by far the scariest movie I've seen in years. I'm unflappable (beyond a flinch or two) with virtually anything the horror genre can dish out, but this one? I had to press "pause" five times. Just to catch my breath, and regroup.

See also (from previous years):
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 BAD Horror Movies

Halloween Horrors: Top 10 Classic Horror Movies
Halloween Horrors: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Halloween Horrors: Psycho
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 FUNNY Horror Movies
Halloween Horrors: Overlooked Horror Films
Halloween Horrors: A Nightmare on Elm Street
Movies I Can't Wait to See: Friday the 13th

Blast from the Past: TV Shows with the Premise in the Theme!

TV theme songs have always been a favorite pop culture thing for me, and occasionally there are still some really good ones, even if they're much shorter than in TV's golden age. But one thing rarely heard anymore is the premise theme song. That's where the entire basis for the show is clearly spelled out in the lyrics of the theme song. Surprisingly there are quite a few.

1. The Brady Bunch (1969-1974) "It's the story of a lovely lady. . ." No matter that this show was rather mediocre, it made a huge splash in America's pop culture pond that continues to ripple. The theme song was a big part of it.

2. Gilligan's Island (1964-1967) "Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale. . ." Just as unforgettable as the Bradys, and not coincidentally by the same guy, Sherwood Schwartz. Those shows were his two big successes, and he wrung them for every drop he could get out of them!



3. The Beverly Hillbillies (1962-1971) "Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed. . ."

4. Green Acres (1965-1971) "Green Acres is the place to be, farm livin' is the life for me!"
 

5. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (1990-1996) "Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped. . ." A much more recent theme, but already over 20 years old!

6. The Jeffersons (1975-1985) "Well, we're movin' on up!" Arguably, the theme didn't tell the whole story, but if you knew them from All in the Family, the theme told you what happened next!
 

7. The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985) "Just the good ol' boys. . ."

8. WKRP in Cincinnati (1978-1982)
 

And now you know the story! Or stories. Anyway, that wraps another weekend folks. No fighting it, it's time to start another week. Join me, and try to have a happy Monday!

Blast from the Past: Songs that Should have Been Hits

Yes, this is a rerun, but I've added two new "shoulda beens" to the end!

For this week's Blast from the Past, I'm going to see how many songs I can find that are examples of great songs that either barely hit the Billboard charts, or didn't even break through at all. And I'm sure I'll only crack the surface here. These are the kinds of songs that you either know because they were on an album you played a lot, sometimes on a Greatest Hits collection with some "extras" that really weren't. Or it's an attempt at a comeback from an established star that just didn't do the trick. Whatever it is, these songs all have the makings of a hit, but just. . .weren't for some reason. See how many you know.



1. Ring Ring by ABBA (1973) - This early tune by the Swedish quartet managed to make several world-wide charts, some to number one. But it didn't chart in the states at all. It should have.

2. On and On and On by ABBA (1980) - A later track by the same group had all the makings of a hit (and the by now standard repeating title of many of their others), but only hit #90 in the US. It was still very catchy, and should have been a hit.



3. I'm Gonna Be Strong by Cyndi Lauper (1994) - According to Lauper, this is the song that got her a recording contract. Small wonder. I've always wondered what could have happened if Lauper had been a contestant on American Idol, and belted this out. It's amazing.

4. You Don't Know by Cyndi Lauper (1997) - As you can now tell, I have some favorite artists who have several songs I think should have been hits. This one was probably hampered by an album track that was slow and languid. This dance version is one of my favorites, a song about the stupidity of bigotry.



5. Quantum Mechanic by Thomas Dolby and Dr. Fiorella Terenzi (1994) - This great tune from the Gate to the Mind's Eye soundtrack always made me happy. And should have been released.

6. UMF by Duran Duran (1993) - One of several tracks from "The Wedding Album," something of a comeback album that did have a couple of hits. UMF stands for "ultimate mind f**k," thought the profanity is never uttered.



7. Only You by Pat Benatar (1997) - Again, a great album, chock full of great tunes, but it still couldn't revive Benatar's hit-making career.

8. Try by Billy Pilgrim (1994) - I saw this band when they opened for Melissa Etheridge on tour. I bought their album, and totally dug it. This is one of their best songs, and it turned up on a compilation or two, but didn't really go anywhere. Great harmonies.



9. Rock D.J. by Robbie Williams (2000) - This incredibly catchy dance tune was a hit around the world, but didn't manage more than #24 on the dance chart in the US. Maybe it had something to do with the gory, out-of-left-field video.

10. Little Bird by Annie Lennox (1993) - This is (along with a couple of other tracks that didn't chart) one of my favorite Lennox tunes. Amazing that I didn't do better.



11. One by One by Cher (1996) - Like the Cyndi Lauper tune, You Don't Know above, this one had a down-tempo album version, and this spirited dance version. The dance version charted at #6, the album version at #52. I'm fairly certain it was this song's performance that made Cher go straight for dance releases like Believe after this.

12. That's What I Think by Cyndi Lauper (1993) - Another Lauper tune, I can't help myself. I think she's been criminally overlooked. This one she even plays the recorder. I remember her blowing David Letterman away when she performed it on his show.

And that will wrap it up for now. I realized as I was writing that there are many, many songs I listen to that were never hits but seemingly could have been. Give these a listen, and look forward to another edition. This one is worth a sequel. (or a rerun, heh)

Happy Monday!

BONUS: Here's the Letterman clip.

Halloween Horrors: Greenlee Gazette's Guide to the Halloween (Movie Franchise)

With Halloween (the holiday) fast approaching, I figure it's time to bust out my old movie reviews, and possibly write up some new ones. I'll start with my viewer's guide to Halloween (the movie franchise!).

Here's my take on the Halloween movie franchise. Keep in mind, the ratings are genre-specific, and don't necessarily apply to other movies in general.

Image from Wikipedia



Halloween (1978) - John Carpenter struck gold with the original in the series. He created the faceless killing machine (Michael Myers), the "you're dead if you have sex/drink/party/do drugs" horror cliche. And Carpenter's score for the film is amazingly creepy. Easily the best in the series, in fact the best of the genre. And Jamie Lee Curtis was fantastic, as was Donald Pleasence. ****

Halloween II (1981) - Picks up immediately after part one, and holds very close to the tone and the quality. More gore, more violence and more inventive kills are a consequence of the other (copycat) slasher pix being made at the time, and cause many to dislike this entry. Curtis and Pleasence still are in top form, and Michael Myers seems to utterly meet his end. In fact, unless you're fanwanking, you can't really explain his later resurrection. Also notable for the fantastic soundtrack, an improvement on the original. Great to have on the stereo to creep out the trick-or-treaters. ***

Image from Wikipedia

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) - The creators decided to drop the storyline, and try a different sort of Halloween movie, which was pretty good, but disappointed most fans. It had nothing to do with the previous films, other than the producers, and similar eerie music. Had it been successful, there were supposed to be other unrelated, Halloween-themed movies in the series. The film had one of the coolest logos in the whole series, as seen in the image on the right. **

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) - They went back to the original story (and dropped the roman numerals), which continued the storyline of Michael Myers, and ignored the ending of the second movie, where Michael Myers clearly died. The great thing about Halloween 4 was that the characters reacted like normal people--trying to get the heck out of dodge--and died anyway. Very close to the tone of the first two, and a great performance by Pleasence. ***

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) - OK, but weaker than the previous films. Continues the storyline from part 4, but adds a psychic angle, shifting the tone of the series. **

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) Dropped the number, and tried to add new elements that weren't in the previous films (Michael was a Druid?). The series was running out of steam. *

Halloween: H20 (1989) - 20 years into the franchise, this entry tried to reinvigorate the storyline. Donald Pleasence had died, but Jamie Lee Curtis was back, and much of parts 4, 5 and 6 were ignored. They even brought in Janet Leigh (Jamie Lee Curtis' real mother, and star of Psycho). H20 was an improvement, but the concept was really running on fumes. **

Dreadful. From Wikipedia.

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) - The less said about part 8, the better. Updates the series for the internet era. Not an improvement. Don't bother. *

Halloween (2007) - This film was ultimately unnecessary, as the original was impossible to top. The attempt to reboot the series, and bring it into the 21st century isn't a total misfire, but is kind of pointless. As far as remakes go, it isn't bad.  Malcolm McDowell does an okay job as Loomis, but nobody can replace Jamie Lee Curtis.  **

Halloween II (2009) - Terrible. That is all. Zero Stars

So, to sum up, if you want to rent any of the films in this series, go for the original part 1, probably part 2, and if that isn't enough for you, part 4 and the first remake. Beware 6, 7 and 8 as well as the second remake, and only rent 3 for the curiosity factor. And there you have it. Happy Halloween!

Blast from the Past: Battle of the Horror Movie Remakes!

Just about every successful horror movie begets sequels, imitators and if enough time goes by, remakes. This isn't unusual, really. It's been going on since the original monster movies were sequelized, teamed up, reimagined and copied. These days, a horror "reboot" is considered a big event among horror fans. More often than not, the remake displeases the hardcore fans, while gaining a few new ones. By the time they remake the remakes of these movies, fans of the current remake will be displeased too! Anyway, here they are, the trailers for the original "classic," and its (somewhat) modern day counterpart.

Friday the 13th, 1980 & 2009



Halloween, 1978 & 2007



A Nightmare on Elm Streeet, 1984 & 2010

The Last House on the Left, 1972 & 2009

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 1974 & 2003



The Thing, 1978 & 2011

My Bloody Valentine, 1981 & 2010

And that's probably as many as I can post without choking everyone's web browser. Other famous examples include Psycho, I Spit on Your Grave, The Amityville Horror, The Fly (which is old enough for yet another reboot), Dawn of the Dead (along with most of the Dead series), The Crazies, Piranha, Prom Night, April Fool's Day, The Omen, The Fog, The Hills Have Eyes, The Hitcher and many, many others. In all cases, the original is worth viewing. And in most cases--excepting April Fool's Day, The Fog, Halloween II, Prom Night and The Fog--the remake is worth a view too. Your mileage may vary, but avoid the ones I just listed, just. . .trust me.

Happy Monday and Happy Halloween!!!

Blast from the Past: Same Name, Pop Music Edition

Boy, I tell you, when it comes time to write a new Blast from the Past, I've lately been just so busy with other things that I haven't had the time to do the research. Sorry about that. But when I pick a rerun, I do try to find a fun one. This one fits the bill, I think. From August 1, 2011 (with a couple of edits).

There was briefly a show on CBS with a simple premise and simpler name: Same Name. I have no idea of the quality of the show, but basically, it has a famous person and a non-famous person with the same name (like David Hasselhoff or Kathy Griffin), and has them learn about each other's lives. I never sampled the show. But the title inspired this week's Blast from the Past.
 
As with movie titles, and television shows, many songs share a title or have very similar titles with other songs. Sometimes, both are hits, and even sometimes, both songs chart at nearly the same time. Back in the 80s, I remember noting that "I Can't Wait" was the title of two hit songs out at practically the same time, once by Nu Shooz, and once by Stevie Nicks, both in early 1986.



Also in the 80s, Van Halen had a hit with"Jump" and the Pointer Sisters had the very different "Jump (For My Love)." Both were hits early in 1984.



Prince and Sheena Easton teamed up for a song called "U Got the Look," in 1987. A little more than a year later, Roxette released simply "The Look." The songs are different, but largely on the same topic, with Roxette's lyrics saying "she's got" rather than Prince's "U got."

But I think the all time champ for songs with the same name at practically the same time would have to go to the cheesy 90s group Wilson Phillips and the slightly better En Vogue, who both released hit songs called "Hold On" within a day of each other in February 1990.



I'm sure there are other examples, and of course there are TONS that happened many more years apart. But that's it for this week's installment. Happy Monday, everyone!

Blast from the Past: Snack Foods of the 70s!

Another weekend gone, and between the Emmy Awards, chores, work, dealing with a mystery ailment, and adjusting to a "bland food" diet, I'm a little too spent to come up with a brand new Blast from the Past this week. But since I'm thinking of yummy, delicious foods, here's a rerun from the earlier days of the blog. I double-checked, and the videos are still good. I even embiggened them for you! Enjoy.

ORIGINAL POST:

Image found at Democratic Underground

I've wanted a weekly feature on the blog for a long time. I've got several regular themes here, Right Wing World, Science is Cool, Lest We Forget. . ., What Happens in Vegas, America the Stupid and others. But they come and go with no regularity. Well, I'm going to try to change that now.

Practically since I started the blog, I've run several Blast from the Past posts, each centering on a particular batch of videos that have something in common.  I've created a couple of new ones over successive Sundays, and realized that Sunday is the perfect day for it.  It's a slow news day unless the Sunday morning political shows break something shocking (usually a politician putting his or her foot in their mouth).  So, from now on, Blast from the Past has a home on Sunday evenings (or Monday mornings, depending upon what time zone you're in).

This week?  Well, I loved the old Pringles ad from when the dehydrated snack chip first came out, so why not snack foods of the 70s? Sounds yummy, let's go!

1. Peter Paul Almond Joy & Mounds Candy Bars - This one will noodle around in your head for a while.
2. Lay's Potato Chips - Okay, so we've got Bert Lahr, the Cowardly Lion dressed as Satan, and he apparently can eat just one? I'm confused. . .
3. Doritos - I'd forgotten about the fat Dorito's guy until I found this clip. See if you remember him.
4. Jiffy Pop Popcorn - I'm pretty sure that's Ruth Buzzi.
5. Nestle $100,000 Bar - I think they call this the One Hundred Grand bar now.
6. Keebler Fudge Cookies - Somehow elves making cookies in a tree doesn't sound all that hygienic to me.
7. York Peppermint Patties - This is from a whole series of commercials that were never funny.
8. Hostess Snack Cakes - Okay, so Twinkies are fresh and wholesome? Hostess and kids, they go together. Well, duh.

Happy Monday everybody.

Blast from the Past (Bonus): Sigourney Weaver in Alienses on SNL

Every once in a while, I happen upon an old post that is worthy of a rerun. And I think this is one of them. Enjoy.

ORIGINAL POST 08/21/11:

Saturday Night Live isn't as funny as you remember. I don't mean now versus yesterday, I mean it was never as funny as you remember. I've watched since the very first episode in 1975, and am an unabashed fan. Even with its wild swings in quality (often within the same episode), I've stuck with it through thick-and-thin, only abandoning it during the abysmal 1980 season (and even caught a couple of those). As terrific as it could sometimes be in its original years, and successive reboots, it's always been hit-and-miss, with nostalgia painting it "better than it was."


You know how sometimes these days, the "cold open" or the monologue, Weekend Update or the SNL Digital Short might be absolutely hilarious, and then the rest of the show might suck? Yeah, it's always been that way, really. I think it's the nature of live TV. You don't know what's going to work until it's over. A Debbie Downer might only be funny because all of the cast cracked up during the live show. A bit might only work with repetition. But one thing SNL has only rarely been is: funny all the way through.

I can think of two episodes that were. One was a show hosted by Roseanne Barr (Arnold). And the other was the episode hosted by Sigourney Weaver in 1986. Hers was the premiere episode of the season, after the abysmal single season that marked Lorne Michaels' return to the show after a long absence. Though the 1985 season introduced Dennis Miller, Nora Dunn and Jon Lovitz to America, the rest of the cast (which included Robert Downey Jr., Randy Quaid and Anthony Michael Hall) never clicked, and the show was nearly cancelled. Madonna (the host of the 1985 premiere) even came back to declare the whole season a "horrible, horrible dream."



But in 1986, Lorne Michaels hired perhaps the best cast in SNL history, barring the original. For the next several years, the cast remained intact, and segued along nicely for many more. 1986 saw the introduction of Dana Carvey, Victoria Jackson (batshit teabagger, these days), the fabulous Jan Hooks, Kevin Nealon and the sadly departed Phil Hartman. And in that first episode (which also featured Weaver's friend, playwright Christopher Durang and musician Buster Poindexter), SNL aired probably their strongest premiere episode ever, including the first Church Chat, featuring "church lady" Enid Strict. There was the great "Quiz Masters" game show segment. Also, the Derek Stevens "Chopping Broccoli" bit.  Then there was the timely Aliens parody, spoofing Weaver's huge hit movie, called Alienses.



I found and watched this episode (after having had it saved on videotape for years, since discarded) on Netflix. I was disappointed to find that Alienses and a duet with Buster Poindexter (and any other possibly included musical guest) were curiously missing from the episode. Why on earth they would do this, I have no idea. I know that sometimes bits that didn't go ever well are excised in reruns. But Alienses is a fan favorite, with Carvey's colonial marine aping Bill Paxton's character:  "We're shredded wheat, man! We're grated cheese, man!" So after that (very) long introduction, here is Alienses. . .


Sigourney Weaver in "Alienses" by alienfan

Halloween Horrors: Greenlee Gazette's Top 10 FUNNY Horror Movies

Every October, I run a series of Top 10 lists of different types of horror movies for Halloween for the people who likely missed them in years past. So, if you're looking for some Halloween horror, but you'd like it tempered with a bit of humor, here are ten options for your movie night!

Shuan of the Dead wins funniest horror movie of all time.
Image from DraftHouse.com

Yes, horror can make you scream and laugh. Some of these films are straight-ahead comedies with horror thrown in. Some are horror with comedy thrown in. And some may be unintentionally funny. But if you like your scary movies cut with a little bit of humor, these are the films for you.

Greenlee Gazette Top 10 Funny Horror Movies

1. Shaun of the Dead (2004) - This movie is a horror spoof, but it doesn't spare the shocks, or the gross-outs. It's probably the best horror spoof ever made (I don't count the fantastic Young Frankenstein, which is more spoof than horror). It helps if you like British humour.

2. Fright Night (1986) - This film isn't quite a spoof, but it is surely an homage to the old "chiller theater" TV programs of years gone by. Excellent performances, lots of laughs, and a shock or two. It does suffer a bit for its obvious 80s fashions, though.

3. Army of Darkness (1992) - The third of the Evil Dead series was the most mainstream, and more straight-ahead comedy. I recommend getting Evil Dead 2 (which is sort of a higher-budget remake of part 1) in tandem with this one. A classic.

4. Final Destination 2 (2003) - This horror film isn't exactly a comedy. But try not to laugh (maybe nervously) at the inventive and gory kills in this one. Better than parts 1 or 3 by a long shot. And some genuine thrills.

5. Critters (1986) - Riding the Gremlins and Ghoulies wave of the 80s, this New Line Cinema (A Nightmare on Elm Street) offering offers thrills and laughs--most intentional. Actually manages to be cute and scary.

6. Psycho II (1983) - The sequel to the all time classic is not the fright-fest it could have been. Tony Perkins is clearly playing it for laughs. And he gets them. Avoid any further sequels and remakes.

7. April Fool's Day (1986) - One of my all time favorites. Every holiday got its horror movie in the 80s, and this one has a novel twist. Gamely played by actors a notch above the typical horror flick. I recently re-watched this one, and it still holds up. I haven't yet seen the remake, though I've heard nothing good about it, so look for the date on the box.

8. The Car (1978) - James Brolin fighting a car possessed by the devil. This one could have made my "BAD" horror list, but it does have some shocks. But, just try not to laugh when The Car kills the tuba player. . .

9. Freddy vs. Jason (2003) - The terror is long drained out of both of these series, so the kills are mostly for laughs. A good time anyway. But who really won?

10. The Blob (1986) - I've blogged about this one before, and it is one of my favorites. Funny mostly for Kevin Dillon's mullet, and the general 80s vibe. Still has a few shocks and is most enjoyable.

PREVIOUSLY:
Halloween Horrors: Psycho
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 FUNNY Horror Movies
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 SCARY Horror Movies
Halloween Horrors: Overlooked Horror Films
Halloween Horrors: A Nightmare on Elm Street
Movies I Can't Wait to See: Friday the 13th
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 BAD Horror Movies
Halloween Horrors: Top 10 CLASSIC Horror Movies

Halloween Horrors: Greenlee Gazette's Guide to Halloween (Movie Franchise)

With Halloween (the holiday) fast approaching, I figure it's time to bust out my old movie reviews, and possibly write up some new ones. I'll start with my viewer's guide to Halloween (the movie franchise!).

Here's my take on the Halloween movie franchise. Keep in mind, the ratings are genre-specific, and don't necessarily apply to other movies in general.

Image from Wikipedia



Halloween (1978) - John Carpenter struck gold with the original in the series. He created the faceless killing machine (Michael Myers), the "you're dead if you have sex/drink/party/do drugs" horror cliche. And Carpenter's score for the film is amazingly creepy. Easily the best in the series, in fact the best of the genre. And Jamie Lee Curtis was fantastic, as was Donald Pleasence. ****

Halloween II (1981) - Picks up immediately after part one, and holds very close to the tone and the quality. More gore, more violence and more inventive kills are a consequence of the other (copycat) slasher pix being made at the time, and cause many to dislike this entry. Curtis and Pleasence still are in top form, and Michael Myers seems to utterly meet his end. In fact, unless you're fanwanking, you can't really explain his later resurrection. Also notable for the fantastic soundtrack, an improvement on the original. Great to have on the stereo to creep out the trick-or-treaters. ***

Image from Wikipedia

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) - The creators decided to drop the storyline, and try a different sort of Halloween movie, which was pretty good, but disappointed most fans. It had nothing to do with the previous films, other than the producers, and similar eerie music. Had it been successful, there were supposed to be other unrelated, Halloween-themed movies in the series. The film had one of the coolest logos in the whole series, as seen in the image on the right. **

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) - They went back to the original story (and dropped the roman numerals), which continued the storyline of Michael Myers, and ignored the ending of the second movie, where Michael Myers clearly died. The great thing about Halloween 4 was that the characters reacted like normal people--trying to get the heck out of dodge--and died anyway. Very close to the tone of the first two, and a great performance by Pleasence. ***

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) - OK, but weaker than the previous films. Continues the storyline from part 4, but adds a psychic angle, shifting the tone of the series. **

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) Dropped the number, and tried to add new elements that weren't in the previous films (Michael was a Druid?). The series was running out of steam. *

Halloween: H20 (1989) - 20 years into the franchise, this entry tried to reinvigorate the storyline. Donald Pleasence had died, but Jamie Lee Curtis was back, and much of parts 4, 5 and 6 were ignored. They even brought in Janet Leigh (Jamie Lee Curtis' real mother, and star of Psycho). H20 was an improvement, but the concept was really running on fumes. **

Dreadful. From Wikipedia.

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) - The less said about part 8, the better. Updates the series for the internet era. Not an improvement. Don't bother. *

Halloween (2007) - This film was ultimately unnecessary, as the original was impossible to top. The attempt to reboot the series, and bring it into the 21st century isn't a total misfire, but is kind of pointless. As far as remakes go, it isn't bad.  Malcolm McDowell does an okay job as Loomis, but nobody can replace Jamie Lee Curtis.  **

Halloween II (2009) - Terrible. That is all. Zero Stars

So, to sum up, if you want to rent any of the films in this series, go for the original part 1, probably part 2, and if that isn't enough for you, part 4 and the first remake. Beware 6, 7 and 8 as well as the second remake, and only rent 3 for the curiosity factor. And there you have it. Happy Halloween!

October Non-Surprise #2: Jeremiah Wright, Again

I don't get it either, but an already aired, five-year-old video of President Obama talking about Rev. Jeremiah Wright, has become a Drudge Report/Sean Hannity/FOX "News" sensation.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

4 Years Ago Today: Voter Rolls in at Least 19 States Being Purged

The more things change, the more they stay the same. . .

ORIGINAL POST: October 2, 2008

Conservatives often rail about "voter fraud," where dead people, illegal aliens, criminals, and unregistered voters allegedly vote--apparently for Democrats. The cases have been pretty thin, with people convicted of voter fraud numbering somewhere around a few handfuls. Maybe not even enough to matter in Palm Beach County, Florida in the 2000 election.

But election rigging--a specialty of Republicans--is real, and much more effective. By various means, they attempt to sway elections, and probably (almost certainly, by my estimation) even decided both elections for George W. Bush.

Image from source, BradBlog

Unfortunately, the issue apparently isn't very sexy to your average American, and only crops up in the news right before an election. Usually to late to do anything about it. And just as unfortunately, even when the rigging becomes known, very few people go to jail for it (Karl Rove, anybody?). You'd think in America that people messing with thousands of legitimate voters would be a big deal. But if they care at all, they're worried that Mickey Mouse cast one vote in Chicago or something. If they're going to focus on an illegal voter, you'd hope they'd finally go after Ann Coulter.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Even if you don't want to read this article, I urge you to click the link at the bottom of the story, and find out if you are registered to vote. Even if you know you are, it doesn't mean you haven't been "purged." It's an easy and useful tool, and took me all of two minutes.

[Excerpt]

BS News: New Study Details Massive Voter Roll Purges Underway in At Least 19 States

Tonight's CBS Evening News finally covered what may well be the November Surprise that we've been trying to warn about for months here at The BRAD BLOG: Massive voter roll purges being done in secret, with little or no oversight, and often under federal Justice Department cover, in states and counties around the country. . .

Read more at: BradBlog

Rocky Mountain Mike Replay: Sayin' a Lie

Yup, still on vacation. So, just in case I don't get anything new posted today (and would you if you were at a beach house?), here's one of Rocky Mountain Mike's (of The Stephanie Miller Show) best song parodies, to the tune of the Bee Gees' Stayin' Alive!

4 Years Ago Today: Dow Drops 777; Largest Drop Ever

Four years ago, this was the point in John McCain's campaign that the writing was on the wall. Given his comments on the economy, the massive nosedive of the stock market just didn't fit with his narrative, and he kept making it worse. But on the day this happened, I wasn't really putting it in that context. I was just blown away by the spectacle. So much so that I used a fairly bad graphic--but then, it was from the source, so I guess they did too? It should have been a jagged stab downward. . .

ORIGINAL POST: September 29, 2008

It's admittedly hard to write this blog, when the biggest stories of the day are in an area I simply cannot speak authoritatively about. I've written a few times already, that I just don't get Wall Street, and all that it entails. And I'd be a bad broker if I did understand it, because the roller coaster ride of the Dow Jones Industrial Average gives me heartburn anyway.

Image from source, AOL News

Today's stock market ride was kind of like watching someone spike your bid on eBay. After seemingly being headed back up after a dive, at about one minute until closing bell, the bottom dropped out. I have a stock ticker on my desktop, and when refreshing it every 20 or 30 seconds, it went down each time. And after 1:00 pm Pacific time, it still kept dropping, from the six hundreds to the low seven hundreds, all the way down to minus 777. That's a lot, right? And how does it keep dropping after the market has supposedly closed? Maybe I don't want to know how all of this works.

Oh, and the headline below is rounding to the nearest fraction, but 777 is the number being used most.

[Excerpt]

Bailout Vote Sacks Dow by Record 778
The failure of the bailout package in Congress triggered a historic selloff on Wall Street - including a terrifying decline of nearly 500 points in mere minutes as the vote took place, the closest thing to panic the stock market has seen in years. . .

Read more at: AOL News

In Case You Missed It: SNL's "FOX & Friends" Romney Skit

Still on vacation, so I'm rerunning one of the best SNL clips so far this short season. If I have the opportunity, I will recap this week's SNL Weekend Update Thursday edition. For now, enjoy this one (and try pausing the crawl of "error corrections" toward the end, they're hilarious!).

Rocky Mountain Mike Replay: The Richdouchean Candidate

Since I'm still on vacation, and don't know if I'm going to get much blogging done today, here's one of Rocky Mountain Mike's (of The Stephanie Miller Show) best bits, based on The Manchurian Candidate.

4 Years Ago Today: Obama & McCain's 1st Debate

Can you believe it's already time for this again? Of course you can, this campaign has been waging for over a year, and we're ready for it to be over! But I didn't remember that the first debate was a week earlier last time.


ORIGINAL POST: Sept. 26, 2008

Not surprisingly, MSNBC (or at least Keith Olbermann) thinks that Barack Obama won the debate. And even less surprisingly, FOX "News" has called it for John McCain. I honestly have to call it a draw. I of course agreed more with Obama, and much less so with McCain. But both came off strong, in command of their understanding of the facts. No major gaffes were made, at least not what I'd consider major. And no very notable soundbite moments jumped out.

 Photo from source, MSNBC

I seriously doubt, unless the media picks up on a point that catches fire, that either candidate gets much of a boost out of this debate. Neither Obama nor McCain supporters are likely to have changed their minds watching this. In fact, I believe that McCain supporters might gain some grudging support for Obama's ability to lead, and Obama supporters might have more confidence in McCain's lack of--what--dodderingness?

[Excerpt]

Bank crisis overshadows defense in first debate

Wall Street hijacked the first presidential debate Friday night between Democratic Sen. Barack Obama and Republican Sen. John McCain, who clashed over tax cuts, congressional spending and President Bush's proposed $700 billion bank bailout in a forum that was supposed to be about foreign policy. . .

Read more at: MSNBC