Jon Stewart: A Million Gays to Deny in the Midwest

Brilliant, per usual. Jon, I'm going to miss you.

The Daily Show
Daily Show Full Episodes,  More Daily Show Videos,  Comedy Central Full Episodes

The Daily Show
Daily Show Full Episodes,  More Daily Show Videos,  Comedy Central Full Episodes

The Gay Thing: "Memories Pizza" is First Indiana Business to Publicly Endorse RFRA

So, apparently there is this mom-n-pop pizza joint in Indiana. And they are either a) courting controversy to drum up business, b) really want to jump on the "fame by martyrdom" conservative lecture circuit or c) want to go out of business. Perhaps it's some combination of those. The business has allegedly been around for nine years, but had to this point only ever garnered a couple of Yelp reviews.

Not anymore! They are full to the edge of the crust with Yelp reviews now! And many of them are hilarious. My favorite:



(Hilarious) image from source, Yelp reviews.

"Ever since this business came out against homosexuals i worry about it. I worry that people will order carry out over and over and over with out picking it up. I think this would ruin this fine establishment and these fantastic people. That would be super duper wrong. These fine Christlike people also deliver. Please DO NOT use your gay powers to call in fake deliveries. This would be equally detrimental to a heterosexual business struggling to make its way in an increasingly homo world."

Read for yourself: Click here: Memories Pizza - Walkerton, IN | Yelp

Cry Me A River: Papa John's Pizza to Raise Prices Over Obamacare

Will we see Papa John's Appreciation Day?
Stranger things have happened. Mike Huckabee
will be 500 pounds before you know it.

Let's get this out of the way first: Papa John's Pizza is third place for a reason. Domino's has recently bumped their quality up, and Pizza Hut is just danged tasty--particularly if you live in a "good pizza" desert like I do. But come on. Multi-millionaire John Schnatter is making a big show of the unforseen impact of The Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), by saying he's going to pass the costs on to customers. A whopping 15 to 20 cents per pie. Whatever will we do?

The thing that strikes me most here is the implicit conceit that it's a bad thing for employers to help their employees get affordable health care. And if you force them to, they're either going to drop all care and pay the fine, or they're going to hire less or pass the costs on. I understand that a business exists to make a profit, but somewhere along the way that got amended to include "at all costs." There was a time when employees were offered benefits to get them to go to work for a company. Now, a company is more likely to cut benefits, in order to keep profits high, or make them higher.

I think Papa John is doing all right. I don't think a price hike of this tiny amount is going to damage the economy, or his business. And his employees will be better off. Why is he (and the industry) against Obamacare again? Do you know what I say to 20 cents more per pie, hell 20 cents more per $10 of any food anywhere? Hell of a trade to get the workers affordable care. I'll take it.

[Excerpt]

Papa John's Pizza To Raise Prices Because Of Obamacare, CEO John Schnatter Says

After President Obama's health care law takes full effect, the slogan for national pizza chain Papa John's may need an update. Instead of, “Better ingredients. Better Pizza,” may we suggest, “Better health care. Pricier pizza. . ."

Read more at: Huffington Post

Another Low Carb Pizza, Plus Focaccia!

My latest pizza with golden flaxseed.  Oh, and
I put sesame seeds around the edge. Click to embiggen.

Today, while out shopping, I decided to buy a bag of golden flaxseed meal, from Bob's Red Mill.  I've used a lot of flaxseed meal since I started my most recent go-around with the Atkins Diet, but never the golden. Flax as a baking material is borderline passable.  You can make muffins that are adequate and breads that are functional. Notice, I didn't say delicious. Flax has a strong, but not unpleasant taste, so flavorings like garlic or chocolate have difficulty breaking through. When I've made pumpkin muffins, for instance, I've had to double the amount of spices I might put in a pumpkin pie. And they still taste of flax.

All of that said, I've come to enjoy products made with flax. Like I said, they're not unpleasant, they're just not delicious. So I decided to try the golden flax meal this time, to see if the flavor is better. You know what? It is. It's better. It's still flax, but it's better. So, if you try the recipe below, keep in mind that golden flax looks more like real pizza crust, and tastes a little milder than brown flax. I should note: this pizza does taste better as a leftover, I've found, than it does on the first day. I don't know why.

Re-reading this, I think I've heaped a little too much warning onto this recipe, as though you'll barely be able to stomach this pizza. Not true! It's actually quite good, especially if you're stuck in Atkins, and desperately want some pizza! The crust will not fool you, but neither will it terrify you!

LOW CARB FLAXSEED CRUST PIZZA

Brown Flax Crust. Click to embiggen.

Ingredients:

• 1 and 1/2 C flax seed meal
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon oregano
• Sweetener to equal about 1 Tablespoon of sugar
• 3 Tablespoons of oil
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 C water

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 425 F.

1. Mix dry ingredients together.
2. Add wet ingredients, and mix very well.
3. Let sit for about 5 minutes to thicken.
4. Spread on pan (I put it on a silicon mat or greased parchment paper).
5. Bake for 15-18 minutes until cooked through, then add toppings* and cook until they are done.

Nutritional Analysis: Whole crust has 7 grams of effective carbohydrate, plus 52 grams fiber, 47 grams protein, 130 grams healthy fat, and 1525 calories.

SOURCE: About.com

*My toppings included Kroger pizza sauce (not too much, just enough to spread around), pepperoni (two layers!), plenty of shredded mozzarella, a little shredded sharp cheddar, some shredded ham, crumbled bacon and more pepperoncini slices. My cook time after adding the toppings was about 15 minutes, with the convection on.

LOW CARB FLAXSEED FOCACCIA BREAD

Ingredients:

My focaccia, sliced & plated.  Also using the golden flax.
Click to embiggen.

• 2 cups flax seed meal
• 1 Tablespoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1-2 Tablespoons sugar equivalent from artificial sweetener
• 5 beaten eggs
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/3 cup oil

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Prepare pan (a 10X15 pan with sides works best) with oiled parchment paper or a silicone mat.

1) Mix dry ingredients well -- a whisk works well.

2) Add wet to dry, and combine well. Make sure there aren't obvious strings of egg white hanging out in the batter.

3) Let batter set for 2 to 3 minutes to thicken up some (leave it too long and it gets past the point where it's easy to spread.)

4) Pour batter onto pan. Because it's going to tend to mound in the middle, you'll get a more even thickness if you spread it away from the center somewhat, in roughly a rectangle an inch or two from the sides of the pan (you can go all the way to the edge, but it will be thinner).

5) Bake for about 20 minutes, until it springs back when you touch the top and/or is visibly browning even more than flax already is.

6) Cool and cut into whatever size slices you want. You don't need a sharp knife; I usually just cut it with a spatula.

Nutritional Information: Each of 12 servings has less than a gram of effective carbohydrate (.7 grams to be exact) plus 5 grams fiber, 6 grams protein, and 185 calories.

SOURCE: About.com

Note: I put some sharp cheddar on top, and stirred in some garlic powder, to make this more interesting.

Low Carb Recipe: Pizza!

As I've said several times here, I'm on the Atkins Diet (well, a slight variation), and it's working very well. Even with a four-day "cheat" window for my trip home for Thanksgiving, the low-carb diet, along with regular exercise has led to a 30-pound weight loss. But it isn't easy, don't let anybody tell you it's easy. It isn't because you get hungry, it's because you get bored. So this time around, I'm trying new things and new combinations of things, to make the diet fun.

I'd already come up with my own low-carbohydrate pizza, which you can find here. And that particular recipe is really good, no lie. But only if you use Mission brand white tortillas. All the others I've tried are awful. Annnyway, I wanted a full-size pizza. I knew there had to be a way.

Click to embiggen

Some of the things you can use as flour substitutes are: flaxseed meal, almond flour, whey protein powder and soy flour, used in various combinations. Flax is the coolest, because it a) has as much fiber as it has carbs, which cancel each other out, and b) it has a benign, not unpleasant taste. The same cannot be said of soy flour, which I try to avoid. So for my first try at a full-size pizza, I decided to go for flax. The result can be seen in the picture, and as you can see, I can make a mean pizza. But how does it taste?

Great. I had three slices! Nobody would eat a flax-crust pizza, and not know something was different. But it's a passable substrate for my wonderful toppings. The only problem is, it's not particularly sturdy. You can pick up a slice, but it would likely crumble as you eat it. So, I'm on a quest for a stiffer crust. Whether that means adding something (xanthan gum?), or an entirely different recipe, I don't know. Perhaps a little garlic and Parmesan cheese in the batter would be good too. Anyway, if you're on Atkins, and you're bored, this isn't a bad change of pace.

I can't really give a carb count here. The recipe includes one, but I don't buy it. Pizza sauce (Ragu or store brands) has a few carbs in it, and you can compare for the lowest, but you don't need much really. The crust has virtually no net carbs in it, according to my flaxseed meal's nutritional information. Meats have nothing. Cheese has a little, but not too much. Just to be safe, be really good all day, and then use this to round out your carbs for the day!

Ingredients:

• 1 and 1/2 C flax seed meal
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon oregano
• Sweetener to equal about 1 Tablespoon of sugar
• 3 Tablespoons of oil
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 C water

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 425 F.

1. Mix dry ingredients together.
2. Add wet ingredients, and mix very well.
3. Let sit for about 5 minutes to thicken.
4. Spread on pan (I put it on a silicon mat or greased parchment paper).
5. Bake for 15-18 minutes until cooked through, then add toppings* and cook until they are done.

Nutritional Analysis: Whole crust has 7 grams of effective carbohydrate, plus 52 grams fiber, 47 grams protein, 130 grams healthy fat, and 1525 calories.

SOURCE: About.com

*My toppings included Kroger pizza sauce (not too much, just enough to spread around), pepperoni (two layers!), plenty of shredded mozzarella, a little shredded sharp cheddar, some shredded ham, crumbled bacon and more pepperoncini slices. My cook time after adding the toppings was about 15 minutes, with the convection on.

What's Twirling Around in Herman's Head?

Pizza Sauce as a Vegetable?

Image from source, ThinkProgress

Yes, pizza sauce classified as a vegetable. Incredibly--unbelievably--it was already classified as such. But an attempt to strike that ridiculous notion, and to improve the healthiness of school lunches was thwarted by the GOP. Who are apparently so put off by the First Lady's "Let's Move" campaign--or let's face it, in bed with the corporations making the unhealthy food--that they'd come out against healthy food for kids.

[Excerpt]


House GOP Classifies Pizza As A Vegetable To ‘Prevent Overly Burdensome’ School Lunch Regulations

The spending bill also would allow tomato paste on pizzas to be counted as a vegetable, as it is now. The department’s proposed guidelines would have attempted to prevent that.
The changes had been requested by food companies that produce frozen pizzas, the salt industry and potato growers. Some conservatives in Congress have called the push for healthier foods an overreach, saying the government shouldn’t be telling children what to eat. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

You don't often hear what Herman Cain used to do for a living. Yes, he's been a motivational speaker, and everyone knows he's the ex-CEO of Godfather's Pizza. But that was a long time ago. What about that he left Godfather's for? You know, as the CEO of The National Restaurant Association. That sounds like a nice little group, right? It's an unassuming name. If you weren't paying attention, you could even have been forgiven for thinking it was the other NRA. But Herman's NRA is a lobbying group. And Herman was lord-god-king lobbyist.

This is rarely mentioned, as far as I know, maybe because "lobbyist" ranks somewhere around lawyer or Congressman in the lower levels of respected occupations.  Anyway, here's a little more about the NRA of (mostly fast) food.

SIDEBAR: It should also be often said that Herman Cain also has an unfortunate tendency to lie, as an impulse, sometimes when it is not necessary. Track his sexual harassment interview answers for proof.

[Excerpt]

Who is the National Restaurant Association?

The anti-minimum wage lobbying operation that calls itself the National Restaurant Association now finds itself in a pickle. They are holding Herman Cain's secrets and tomorrow they will decide whether to release them.

The National Restaurant Association lives on the funding of its giant corporate sponsors. In accordance with the federal Lobbying Disclosure Act, the National Restaurant Association puts out a quarterly list of its national corporate members. Here is a sample of who used to pay Herman Cain's salary. . .

Read more at: The Last Word

Herman Cain Puts $100K of Contributions into Herman Cain, Inc.?

I ain't gonna say I've always thought he was a con man.
Okay, yes I am. Photo from TPM.

You never know where those campaign contributions are gonna go, do you?

[Excerpt]

Herman Cain Spends $100K In Campaign Cash On Herman Cain Inc.

Given any money to Herman Cain lately? There’s a decent chance some of it went directly into the coffers of a for-profit company Cain runs.

A review of Cain’s last two FEC reports shows the campaign transferring just over $100,000 in cash to Herman Cain T.H.E. New Voice, a company that promotes Cain’s books and political philosophy. . .

Read more at: Talking Points Memo

Crazy Pizza Guy Wins Florida Straw Poll!

"Five dollar foot loooonnnnngggg!!! Wait, wrong restaurant."
 Image from Huffington Post

As further evidence of an extremely weak GOP field, Herman Cain--that's right, the Godfather's pizza guy with zero political experience--won Florida's Republican 2012 straw poll. And there's word that they're trying to draft New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. Is there any wonder?

[Excerpt]

Herman Cain Wins Florida Straw Poll Ahead Of 2012 

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain came out on top in the Florida straw poll on Saturday.
The former CEO of Godfather's Pizza won the test of conservative strength with roughly 37 percent of the vote. Texas Governor Rick Perry came in second place, followed by former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, who did not actively compete in the event. Here's a full breakdown of the result. . .

Read it at: Huffington Post

Jesus! That's Pizza Sauce!

Image from source, Joe.My.God.

Honestly. . .

[Excerpt]

Jeebus In The Pizza Sauce! Praise!

A pizzeria worker in Pennsylvania says that she's been blessed by appearance of Jeebus in a plastic tub of tomato sauce. . .

Read more at: Joe.My.God

Previously:
Jesus Appears on a Steam Iron

Jesus on a Pickup Truck!

Virgin Mary Appears in a Brain Scan?

News of the Weird: Jesus! Clean Your Shower!

The Second Coming of Cheesus!

Cheesus: Jesus Found in a Cheetos Bag

Jesus Found in Potato!

Jesus Found in Slab of Granite

Jesus Christ on a Pancake!

Jesus is Everywhere!

The GOP Doesn't Want Pizza! Er. . .Health Care Reform!

Yes, I'm posting another Rachel Maddow Show clip, because this is just about the best analogy I've seen to what's going on right now. The GOP says they want health care reform, but they clearly don't. How is that like ordering pizza? Watch and see.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Update: The Fat Thing and My Low-Carb Diet

Photo from IMDB.com

From the time before I started this blog until late September of 2008, I was around 180 pounds, a personal worst. I'm 5'8-1/2", and went about 25 years eating absolutely anything I wanted while remaining rail thin. Some time in my late 20s, the weight crept up, and I found it settling about 10 pounds higher per new decade. When I turned 40, I was just off of my (second? third?) Atkins diet, and was at a reasonable weight. But as I slid into 41, there it was, 180 pounds, or there abouts.

In late September last year, I'd had enough, and decided to give the Atkins Diet one more go around. By this time, I'd learned all of the tricks (some of which you can find here), so it wasn't too difficult. Except for the fact that the Atkins craze died about four years ago, and pre-packaged low carb foods are much harder to come by these days.

I got my weight down to a much more reasonable 160 pounds, where it has remained (give or take two or three pounds both ways) since about November. My waist dropped from a 34" to somewhere between 31" and 32." And while it would be nice to see 30" pants again, it will take a heavy exercise program to see that happen, and I haven't gotten the gumption for that quite yet.

Since I've grown to accept that 160 pounds (ish) is my new stable weight if I'm careful, I've loosened up on the diet. Now, once or twice a week (usually on weekends) I'll have a cheat day. Raising Cane's chicken, or Chinese food. Maybe pizza. And then it is right back on the low-carb diet. This has produced no measurable weight gain, and it certainly makes me happier.

I've also gotten creative on the non-cheat days. I thought I'd share a couple of my recipes, in case you're in the same position.

Jamie's Low-Carb Pizza

Pre-heat oven to 410, with pizza pan on the rack, so it gets hot. Get a Mission low-carb flour tortilla. Get the white ones, because they taste a lot closer to the real thing, and don't have the icky Atkins soy-flour aftertaste. Spread a couple of spoonfuls of Ragu (or equivalent) pizza sauce on it, and spread liberal amounts of sliced pepperonis and mozzarella cheese on top. Chop up some pepper rings to put on top, and any other meats you might like. After the oven is hot, take out the pizza pan, and immediately transfer your pizza onto it, and put into the oven. If you have a convection feature, turn it on. Cook until the cheese is bubbly and browning, and you're done. Very tasty, and not far from the real thing.

Jamie's Low-carb Tuna Melt

Follow instructions for the oven and tortilla in the above pizza recipe. Mix tuna, chopped onions, chopped dill pickles and chopped pepper rings with a couple of spoons of mayonnaise. Spread tuna mixture and sharp cheddar cheese onto tortilla, and bake just like the pizza.

Both of these are interesting, and relatively low-carb dinners to jazz up your routine. And while I haven't really done the carb math here, the tortillas are 7 net carbs, and the rest of the ingredients are either carb-free, or pretty low. Enjoy!

One more thing: There are still low-carb Splenda-sweetened ice creams on the market, so check your various grocery stores to see what's available. Blue Bunny makes some fantastic ice cream bars (Sweet Freedom raspberry is like candy), and there is also "Watch N Carbs" and a few others. You can also find sugar-free chocolate syrup, and add dry roasted peanuts if you like a little salty and sweet. There used to be (much) more, but there are still enough varieties to save my sanity.

The Onion: Gross Pizza Sells!

Have you noticed that Pizza Hut and Domino's seem to be trying to outdo each other with more and more unusual pizzas? Oreo cookie desert pizzas, stuffed crust pizzas, pizzas on top of pizzas. The Onion noticed, and they have an explanation for it.


Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat