Lest We Forget... A Reminder...

Whether Ciara Durkin was killed because of who she loves or because of what she knew remains to be seen... Be it hate crime or an assassination there needs to be answers regarding the murder of a US soldier within the confines of an Army base. The US & the country of Ireland are investigating her death.
Eventually, the truth will prevail.

Please read the summary written by Dennis Tatz (The Patriot Ledger) found on the Arlington Memorial website. A great deal of information can be found in his write up.

Please remember Ms. Ciara M. Durkin's sacrifices.

Ciara M. Durkin, Specialist, United States Army

Photos found on ArlingtonCemetary.net

Coming Out Insurance

I need a laugh-break after the last post. This made me laugh. How 'bout you?

Stupid Gay Monkeys & Alternative Lifestyles

Posted by Stupid Monkey Planet

Whilst Jamie's gone away I thought we should take the opportunity to talk about him & his "alternative lifestyle"... behind his back, of course.

Jamie & I have been friends for over 10 years. We first met at our mutual the workplace. He & I were both graphic artists for the same company, sharing the same office & artistic ideas together. I knew Jamie was gay as soon as I said "Hi" to him. I don't think he knew I knew though. I didn't care, never have.

We worked well together & got to know a bit about each other... small talk mostly. But I could tell he was still concerned about what I might think about his "alternative lifestyle" choice. I really could understand why though, if you were to see me. My appearance lends itself to more of a short angry gorilla with earrings, tattoos, shaven head, cloven feet, goatee, horns & I am 100% she-monkey lovin' straight. Sort of like an embodiment of Satan lite. I am sure I looked like I would go ape-shit redneck on him if he announced his love for the same sex type. Obviously, that was not the case.

One day I figured out a way to acknowledge Jamie's gaydom & my accepting of it by asking if he was going to some faggy rainbow concert over the weekend... I forget which one. He said, "Yes." It was then a beginning to a beautiful "alternative friendship".

Jamie is the type of evolved monkey that has a big, juicy, intelligent brain... containing files of wisdom, a deep well of knowledge, the vocabulary to eloquently translate his thoughts to you & a wonderful sense of humor. I love & respect that Queer Ape... and I will always be a monkey he can count on.

Now, time for an Angry Monkey Rant.

I do not understand what the big f*cking deal with being gay is? It is a normalcy throughout nature. Birds do it, bees do it, dolphins, whales, penguins, dogs, cats, ducks, Greeks, cowboys, congressmen & of course monkeys do it! (The list does go on by the way, name a species... I bet you find some antique shops there...)

You're gay!? She's gay!? He's bi!? Who cares? So what? How does that possibly effect you? Sit there for one minute silently... Did the gays get you? Do you feel gayer all of the sudden? Hankerin' for show tunes got ya? See... what difference does it make? None, nada, zilch, zero.

Being gay is made out to be like one of those old zombie flicks. They emerge from the ground, they hunt humans relentlessly... OH NO! Don't let one bite (or suck) you.. or you will surely become one. Craving the taste of human flesh until someone shoots you in the face with a shotgun. Give me a f*cking break! Alternative lifestyle, my red monkey ass.

Let me describe what the I believe the most "alternative lifestyle" really is... You're a man or a woman married only once; you love your spouse; you've never been unfaithful; you're never to be divorced; you will spend the rest of your matrimonial monkey life together, happy. If you meet all of these parameters, you are leading an alternative lifestyle.

Try it on a room full of people... keep standing if you can say... blah, blah, blah... Look at who is left upright. One thing is for sure... all of the sudden there will be a lot more gay monkeys in the room.

Get used to it.

McCain Campaign Co-Chair Caught in Gay Sting

Illustration from Wikipedia

OK, I feel bad for this guy's family--though he put them in this situation--but I find it hard to stifle a Nelson Muntz "ha-ha!"

[Excerpt]

Arrested pol is McCain campaign Florida co-chairman

by PageOneQ

A member of the Florida House of Representatives arrested yesterday on charges of soliciting a male undercover police officer is the co-Chairman of the Florida campaign of presidential hopeful John McCain, PageOneQ has learned.

Bob Allen (R) was appointed Florida co-Chairman of the McCain campaign in March. At the time, McCain said he was proud of the support he received from Allen and that Allen and his three co-chairs were "respected leaders in their communities and have real experience wrestling with the important issues of our day." McCain pledged to "turn to these leaders. Their counsel will be very helpful and their support invaluable."

Read more at PageOneQ link above.

Ex-Ex-Gays Apologize For Inventing “Ex-Gays”

A few days old, yes, but well worth the click. It's difficult to forgive this guy for all that he did "in the name of God," but it is commendable that he's trying to make amends by discrediting the whole "ex-gay" concept. Check it out.

[Excerpt]

Ex-Ex-Gays Apologize For Inventing “Ex-Gays”

Forgiveness. It’s essential human concept, especially with regard to religion. And three ex-ex-gayers are hoping the world can find it in its collective heart to forgive them for their misguided, homophobic sins.

Michael Bussee, who helped found ex-gay organization Exodus, Jeremy Marks of Exodus International Europe and Paraklete Ministries’ Darlene Bogle appeared at Los Angeles’ gay center yesterday to apologize for perpetuating the ex-gay myth:

Some who heard our message were compelled to try to change an integral part of themselves, bringing harm to themselves and their families. Although we acted in good faith, we have since witnessed the isolation, shame, fear and loss of faith that this message creates. Read more at: Queerty.com

Here is one of several YouTube videos by Michael Bussee himself, in his own words.



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The "Other Half"

Posted by NevadaJoe

Well, I guess it is time for the "other half" to appear on Jamie's blog, and here I am. While Jamie is extremely well-read in regards to the daily politics of our country, I am certainly less so. Like most of you I can only absorb a moderate amount before I throw my hands up in disgust, turn off the TV, and go make myself a cocktail. Civic duty, as we were taught, requires an active role in our government and voting every 2/4 years is the barest minimum. And if you were raised right you know that we must accept our "responsibilities" along with our "rights". So, along with the rest of the baby-boomers, Jamie and I are now finding it is our turn to sit up, pay attention, and be heard.

Of course it isn't too hard to see that the U.S. is not the country it can or should be these days. I for one can look forward to retirement in 20 years with a pension of $400+ and a reduced social security check with a delayed retirement date to go along with that. Being born in '61 I qualify for retirement at 67, and that number is only going to go up in the next 20 years. So, in a nutshell, I will be working into my 70s and while that isn't the happiest thought, it surely isn't the end of the world. I think everyone needs something to get them "up and at 'em" on a daily basis. Perhaps you are the type to get up early and go biking, hiking, or mountain climbing, well I am not; so getting up early and working a few days a week will most likely do me good. While I am doing that the ex-CEOs of my employer (and there are 5 so far during my career) will be living the good life in one of their many homes in Aspen, Vail, Malibu, or some island in the Caribbean, fair? I don't think so, but fairness is somewhat of an unrealistic expectation in the USA of the 21st Century.

We are becoming a country of the rich, and the working poor. Without meaningful health care reform most households are only a major illness away from bankruptcy. Now, isn't that a lovely threat to have hanging over one's head? Fortunately we are a household of two wage-earners. My friends from work who are single are working two jobs and still barely able to make ends meet. For those of you with children I can only imagine the idea of funding college educations must be very sobering. We have tightened our budgets, and will learn to live on less. And I will be married to my current job because we get our health care from it. I am very thankful that domestic partner health care is available to us from my employer. It does come with a tax bite though, nearly $5000 is added to my taxable income for the IRS. Is that fair? Not to me, but I am still happy to have health care for Jamie. So, the next time you think gay marriage or legalized domestic partnership is unnecessary keep that one example in mind. Death and health related issues are much larger and messier for us too, and the cost of legal advice to set things up properly is about $3000. And that is just to get us to where "married" folks are protected, it isn't any of the clever estate planning trusts that the wealthy can use to avoid paying taxes.

Looking back at what I have written I find that I seem kind of bitter. Trust me, I'm not. But I am a realist and can see the good as well as the bad parts of life. I am tremendously blessed with family and friends. And with that in mind, I would much rather spend time with them and share a few laughs over a homemade dinner versus dining out. The events of September 11th has helped some Americans refocus on the importance of family over possessions. I endeavor to be one of them, and hope you are too. The true religion of our country is consumption. We define ourselves by what we drive, what we wear, the size of our home, and our net worth. And are we a happier country for it? Does that satisfy our core needs? I think not, and if it does, what kind of a people are we? For all the damnation of homosexuality that comes out of the republican party, I rarely hear them expound on a few other sins. What is their position on Sloth? Obesity? Envy? Man, I think that envy is one of the worst things we do to each other. It is insidious. We would do well to try to balance things out a bit. My mom was right all along, "everything in moderation". Time for me to wrap this up. So, try to be a better person tomorrow. Maybe that will be the only way we do change things around here.

Behind the Blogger, Part Four: The Politics Thing

This is the fourth part of my "Behind the Blogger" posts, and if you've read the others, you've seen that I'm at least doubly unlikely to fall in with the Republican or Conservative side of politics. That wasn't always the case. I was raised in an ostensibly Republican household. We even had a plush, star-spangled elephant hanging in our rec room for my entire childhood. He had a Nixon ribbon, and a "Nixon's the One!" button, but he outlasted Jimmy Carter down in our basement!

I think pretty much all of the adults in our smallish family were professed Republicans. Just the same, I don't recall very many specific issues being discussed. In fact, even Viet Nam was glossed over (though being a little kid, it may have been I that I was more interested in the Six Million Dollar Man or something). Yet, it was well known that we were GOP, right down the line, forever and always. I just wasn't all that clear on why. So, naturally, when I reached voting age, I marched right down and registered as a Republican. It was 1984, and I of course cast my ballot for Ronald Reagan. In 1988, I had no problem casting my vote for the first go around with George H.W. So far, so good. Then something funny happened on the way to the 1992 elections. . .

Now, remember the time. The 1991 Gulf War was a huge success. People wore Operation Desert Storm t-shirts, and desert camouflage pants were all the rage. H.W.'s ratings were sky high. No one could beat the guy. Until the Republican National Convention of 1992--It's Pat! Pat Buchanan was allowed a prime spot to speak, and went batshit on "teh gays." Absolutely, over-the-top, out of his head batshit. He wasn't the only one, but he was the one I remembered clearly. The tone of the whole event was just nasty. Add to this the tendency of our then Commander in Chief dropping by The 700 Club to chat breezily with "crazy Uncle Chuckles," Pat Robertson. Here's the math: The Religion Thing + The Gay Thing = Ain't no way I'm voting for this guy again. Particularly since there was absolutely no effort made by Bush Sr. to distance himself from any of the nastiness spewed by the Pats.

Clearly, I was not the only one who felt this way. Bill Clinton came out of nowhere, and H.W. was toast. I became a "Republicrat." I'd had my family's politics internalized, and for them "Democrat" was a slur. So I stayed registered as a Republican, but voted Democrat with the belief that I'd revert if they stopped the homophobia, religious fervor, and general mean spiritedness. To date, that hasn't happened.

From 1992 onward, I began to pay a little more attention to what was going on in the nation a little more closely. I read a lot more, learned a bit about how government works, and just generally got more engaged. I came to realize that my political identity had been rather hollow. I was like a Christmas & Easter Christian who doesn't know much at all about the religion, but professes it anyway (hell, I was one of those too, growing up!). There is much more that could be said here. My journey, after all, took me through two Clinton administrations, from Don't Ask, Don't Tell to the blue dress. Nevada's Constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage. Arguments with the family. The ensuing madness of two W. administrations. I think delving deeper into all that can wait for a while. For at least the next few posts, I'd like to get back to current events for a while.

Oh, one last thing. I registered as a Democrat for the first time last year.

Behind the Blogger, Part Three: The Gay Thing

This is a difficult subject to bring up, but probably not for the reasons you might suspect. I've never been much of an activist. I'm sure my Mom thinks I am, since we most often talk while I'm on the computer. I see an interesting story on the topic, say something about it, uh-oh, here he goes with the gay thing again. Bad timing.

I don't have a rainbow flag. No pink triangles, or t-shirts with ironic sayings. No "My Other Car is FABULOUS!" bumper stickers. My only dead giveaway (besides the constant presence of my other half of over nine years) is my somewhat flashy Jeep, now equipped with tiger-print seat covers. And even those were only a slightly over-the-top repair job for split upholstery.

Unfortunately, however, any and every mention of "teh gay" (hee, hee, love that expression) is considered by some to be a political statement. The oh-so-common question asked is, "Why do they have to shove it down my throat?" Discarding the obvious Freudian implications of that question, I wish that people asking it would just think about it for a second. I'd like them to put themselves in my shoes, and try a little experiment:

For just one day, keep track of every depiction you see or hear of heterosexuality. Note it all. Every wedding ring, or photo of a spouse on a desktop. Every billboard, magazine ad, radio commercial, newspaper section (especially wedding announcements, but also obituaries). If someone talks about their date last night, note it. Wife comes to take hubby to lunch? Note it. Movies, TV shows, commercials for eHarmony.com, Viagra and Enzyte. How many instances do you think you'd come up with on average? Dozens? Hundreds? OK, now imagine there were two men or two women in any of the above situations. Instantly, it stands out. It's automatically political. And unfair.

Because of this, most gay people (myself included) hold back part of our lives in reserve, even if we're completely "out" to friends, family and coworkers. We mind our language at the grocery store (no "honey" allowed!). We don't hold hands or show affection in public--or even very much in front of non-gay people we know. We patiently sit through all those hundreds of depictions mentioned above, clamoring for just a little representation. Even when that depiction is sorta bad (think Stephen on Dynasty or Matt on Melrose Place), we watch it anyway. And of course, we then have to listen to people say, "Why does this show have to shove it down our throats!?!" Arrgh!

I've taken this topic into only one of the many tangents I could go off in. I could have told a coming out story. I could talk about how being gay effected "The Religion Thing," maybe how the subject effects "The Politics Thing." I could comment on the juvenile, Jr. High attitude about ANYTHING gay over at FreeRepublic.com (really, I dare you to click the link, and then click "Homosexual Agenda" at the top). Another great topic would be common misconceptions. Still another, how sexuality is fundamentally different as an "issue" when compared to other "hot buttons" like abortion, prayer in school, taxes, etc. Undoubtedly, I will address those issues in future posts.

As previously stated, however, I am not a gay activist. I don't expect this blog to be primarily--or even secondarily--a gay blog. The topic is sure to come up though, as gay issues in politics effect my life directly. Even so, don't worry, Mom. You won't see me on TV, leading a parade dressed as Madonna. Not this year, anyway. . .

Behind the Blogger, Part One: The Blog Thing

In earlier posts, I've touched on some of my reasons for starting this blog, but on a long walk today, I was bursting with ideas for future posts. I've had friends and family (and my own brain) asking me a lot of questions about the blog. Here are a few:

"Why would you want to expose so much of yourself in such a public way? Aren't you worried about what people might find out?"

This one sounded a bit paranoid to me. Places like this, PeopleLookup.com, can find out just about anything about you. You want more info? Spend a little more time, and a little more money, you can find out about peoples' marital status, past jobs, homes. . .all kinds of stuff. Shoot, we never know when the Bush Administration is listening into our phone calls, tapping our computers, opening our mail. All I've done with the blog is save people thirty minutes, and $39.95.

"Why is your opinion important enough that other people would want to read it?"
Why is anybody's? There are a gazillion blogs out there, very few written by people professionally trained in having an opinion worth expressing! For that matter, who the heck are Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Phil, or Dr. Laura? What makes them so special? My favorite comedienne, Kathleen Madigan, had a great joke about Dr. Laura. What, did she wake up one day and say, "I'm just so gosh-darn right about everything, I'm gonna start taking calls!"

"Why do you want to write, if you don't think anybody is ever going to read it?"

Because it's great practice. I think I can improve my writing skills, my vocabulary, and spelling. Writing my thoughts down also has already made me analyze some of my opinions. Seeing it written down makes you examine whether or not it makes sense. I'm not into confrontation or arguing particularly, but I do like spirited debate, and this will absolutely help. I heartily recommend this to anybody. If you don't want it made public, just open up your word processor or dust off your typewriter, and start writing! Who knows, it just might lead to something.

Over the next few hours/days/weeks, I intend to write a series of "Behind the Blogger" posts. I've already started composing a few in my brain, including "The Politics Thing," "The Religion Thing," and "The Gay Thing." These posts in particular will address deeper reasons for my blogging, while hopefully also integrating current events as they relate to the topic. This may be introspective at best, or navel-gazing at worst, but hey, it's my blog!