Behind the Blogger: The Land of Confusion; or These are the Contents of My Head

I'm sitting in the calm at the center of a storm I can't see, and I'm confused. I'm not even sure there's a storm. And it's as metaphorical as it is literal. It's a weird day, and the full moon is over. So, what's going on?

Weather-wise, I'm finding Ohio to be very a deeply weird place to be. Nevada? Pretty much it's hot and sunny, warm and sunny, cold and sunny, or there are very obvious and clear storms. Here? There can be hourly predictions of 0% precipitation while it is pouring down rain. You can have predictions of certain rain, 100%, with thunder, lightning and the wrath of God, and. . .nothing happens. Right now, from north of Columbus to east of it, where I live, we have simultaneous storm and flood warnings, with the threat of hurricane-force winds, coupled with hourly forecasts of 0% rain and 4mph winds.  Which is it? damned if I know.

The forecasts are actually starting to finally line up, but to the bad
side, not the good.

Couple that with a spouse who is unforthcoming about work strife--but clearly unhappy. Family members with further inter-member strife that seems to only whirl around me when I'm not present (for the most part), and then this deeply weird stuff going on in the news. Sit-ins at the House of Representatives over gun control? A buffoon with the most bizarre hairdo and makeup job as a major party presidential contender (who could win!), versus another that people openly treat as if she's the devil, but only have the vaguest reasons for treating that way (I just don't trust her. . .where there's smoke there's fire!). And an uncertain current lifespace, personally.

I wonder if it's just me, or if the whole country is having a no good, very weird day. Personally, I'm anticipating both a medical and dental visit on the very-near horizon that could either yield easy and quick answers to immediate problems, or lead to protracted, painful, more serious efforts to correct. I am sort of between careers, thinking that at this time, that's the best thing--kind of the perfect thing, as a bridge between life events. But not so much when the spouse isn't feeling the same way. And much of this all came in the space of an hour or two, this odd assemblage of sometimes contradictory, sometimes confusing input.

The U.S. House of Representatives Sit In; Reuters

Reading this, it may not even make sense to you. Part of it is the still not-quite-settled new life chapter The Other Half and I are dealing with after our uprooting from both careers and location, having spent nearly two decades with Very. Little. Change. It may be almost a year and a half later, but much of it is still shaking out, and frankly, still feels surreal. We're doing that while I'm transitioning into my 50s, finding myself with new medical issues (not serious, at least I don't think so), new feelings of mortality and finality (eeeeek!). We're doing that after voluntarily jumping into the abyss from both our careers without the benefit of a safety net (or insurance!). We've gone from living 2,000 miles from family, living in the outer orbits of family events, missing most of the bad and the good of having family nearby; to being much closer to the vortex. We're doing this during the passing of the baton in perhaps the strangest, longest presidential campaigns we've ever lived through.

And I'm typing this on a blog I've nearly abandoned, not really for any reason, other than it just kind of petered out. And here I am, typing what may be the purest kind of old-school web log post of all, the pointless emptying of my head into my online diary! Probably no one will read it. Or if they do, it'll make them angry at me! Such is life, I suppose.

[Excerpt]

House Democrats broadcast 'sit-in' on social media after cameras shut down


Democrats demanding action on gun control turned to Twitter's Periscope and Facebook's live video platform to broadcast their "sit-in" on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives on Wednesday after the chamber's cameras shut down. Representative Scott Peters of California told Reuters he downloaded the online video platform Periscope from the House floor after it became clear that chamber cameras were not operating. . .

Read more at: Reuters

Vegas Vacation

Oh, hi! I forgot all about you guys! I've returned (for a short time) to my old stomping grounds in Las Vegas to pick up The Other Half, who has finally finished work obligations, and will be moving back with me to Ohio, at long last. And I plumb forgot about this here bloggy thing in the process. I meant to get back here, drop by with a brain nugget or two, and it has just completely fallen by the wayside.

Apologies of a sort. . .I mean, this is after all my hobby blog, and I say right up top that I blog when the mood strikes. But thought I'd better put up something to let folks know that I'm just away, not gone gone.

I'll be back with more later in the week, maybe sooner if something strikes me. Ciao for now!

Behind the Blogger: Waiting for SCOTUS, and The Other Half

I've resigned myself to blogging much more sporadically than I used to. Discovering--after eight years of doing this--that I'm under no obligation to post anything if not motivated has been kind of liberating. A strong argument could be made for giving up the venture, it being an unpaid, generally unacknowledged effort in the first place. But I enjoy having my own tiny corner of the internets, a place to shout out to the universe about whatever is on my mind.

Though I have much more time this year and this summer to blog, I'm finding that time isn't really the issue. It's a changing world, with social media making it so much easier to consume data, interact and comment on what's going on, and frankly, making it more difficult for me in particular to focus on a single subject at a time. I'm a multi-screen, multi-tasking, fragmented, near-ADD level media consumer these days. I spend far too much time doing all of the above, and with the freedom to do so, I'm still struggling with the whens, the hows, and the whys of having my butt planted in a chair in front of my screens when I could be doing something else.

Even when I force myself to change my venue, going out to get exercise, running errands, working on projects, I find myself with my screens (smart phone, touch-screen car media center) and my headphones, still consuming, still taking in data, stimulation. You'd think that this would spur more blogging activity later, not less. But I have often taken to commenting right there in Facebook, Twitter, the comments section, the letters to the editor. I've found my butt back in that chair when I didn't mean to, and the blog still gets ignored. Sorry about that, dear reader (if you actually exist!).

Summer has begun, and I've got some social obligations on the horizon, so the ramping up of chores and events and errands is about to hit in earnest. The Other Half--currently an absentee around here, as he's still commuting for an indeterminate time--returns after a lengthy time away, at the same time that friends and family are converging at our new home. Also, the Supreme Court of the United States is set to announce life-changing and politically explosive decisions in the space of the next week. Obamacare (of which I may soon be a consumer) and marriage equality (of which I've already consumed!) cases will be decided either Thursday, Friday or Monday.

When The Other Half and I moved to Ohio, we left a state where we were (only recently recognized as) legally married, fully equal to any other married couple, and to a state where we were not recognized. We will also soon be moving into a world where we don't have secured health insurance, with his retirement. So, both decisions are huge for us. It feels odd having such large question marks looming (especially since the question of future careers also loom in front of us), to be decided rather arbitrarily by nine people. Or even one person, if these cases come down to a 5-4 SCOTUS split.

For the most part, I'm relatively optimistic that both cases will be a win for the "liberal" side. I think the ACA/Obamacare case hinges upon a rather obviously partisan, paper-thin argument. A conservative win there would be just as transparently a political decision, more than a well-reasoned legal argument. On the marriage equality argument, a win seems even more certain, with virtually every indicator pointing toward 50-state legal equality for gay couples to marry. But SCOTUS has shocked us before.

Citizens United, Hobby Lobby and the gutting of the Voting Rights Act are all cases that stomp around the edges of my certainty. All of those decisions were WTF moments for people who look at things logically, not just because they were losses for my "side," but because the arguments for them seemed so bad, and the ramifications so obvious. Whenever I see someone say that the court wouldn't decide on my two cases in the conservative affirmative, because of the legal chaos it would create? I think of these other cases, where the chaos was either ignored, or even predicted by SCOTUS as "not going to happen."

If the ACA case goes to the conservatives, millions of Americans could lose their insurance, and people will die, directly because of the decision. That's relatively indisputable when you realize that nobody has a Plan B. If the marriage equality case goes to the conservatives, tens and tens of thousands of gay couples' rights are thrown into question, and the equality of unmarrieds seeking to marry becomes more of a patchwork than it already is. More chaos. But let's face it, would Scalia care?

Still, I'm optimistic. Though the court has in the past made manifestly political decisions, I'm hopeful that with these two decisions, legacy is the more important factor. For some of these justices--given their ages--legacy has got to be important. As they head into the sunset of their careers, do they really want to have deciding negatively on either of these huge cases as the thing they're remembered for? For the relatively youthful Chief Justice, does he want preside over negatively deciding them, only to have to revisit each issue again, and potentially have them overturned, or to have them overturned by the next guy? Either of these scenarios would cloud their legacies. So, that's one hope for me.

Another hope is that both cases will actually be decided on their merits, on legal precedent, and on simple logic. That may be a high hope, but if it happens, we win again. The case against marriage equality is just weak, weak, weak. I've followed this closely for its entire existence, and the one constant is just how bad the legal arguments are against equality. And the ACA case, as previously stated, comes down to intent versus semantics, and there is ample precedent that intent should win out over political sentiment over what "the state" means.

Timing over how these things are released adds to my suspense and frustration, and you have to wonder how much of the SCOTUS calendar is engineered by necessity, and how much is for dramatic effect. From my perspective, gay rights cases in general have been dragged out for as long as is possible by nearly every court. Though it seems like an incredibly fast progressing issue to many, when you follow it, it is glacially slow. But SCOTUS seems determined to wait until as late as they possibly can to tell us their decision. The wait is excruciating. And the timing is going to be momentous either way.

See, religious objectors? Not married in church, but at this
awesome city hall in Palm Springs. No Jesus, no "holy
matrimony." So, chill out.

The Other Half and I got married during the 2008 marriage equality "window," the time period between legal same-sex marriage in California and when Prop 8 shut it down. For five long years, I followed every legal wriggle, and watched the marriage equality progress in other states (including in Nevada where I then lived, and Iowa, The Other Half's home state). And finally, one day before our five-year anniversary--which we were spending back in California with our wedding party in tow--we were fully legal again, thanks to SCOTUS. Now, two years later, I'm waiting again for my home state to join the other two-thirds of the country in recognizing my marriage. And I'm waiting for The Other Half too!

If SCOTUS announces on Thursday or Friday, it will be just ahead of our anniversary again, and right before NYC's gay pride festivities. If it announces on Monday, it will be immediately after The Other Half's return. A positive announcement (hopefully in both cases) will provide a very jubilant summer. A mixed bag is going to hurt, no matter what. My best guess is a slightly mixed bag. I have a feeling we're going to get a mostly liberal victory on both of these things, but somehow tempered by the conservative justices.

With the ACA case, I'm not enough of an expert to know how they'd split the baby. But I'll bet they'll try. With the marriage equality case, I'm betting we get 50 state recognition with--at a minimum--recognition of marriages performed in other states, but possibly leaving in-state marriage up to the states. This would be a loss for our side, but would still have the practical effect of legalizing same-sex marriage everywhere. And that last domino would likely eventually fall. More likely, we'll even win on the "can get married anywhere" side, but conservative justices will muddy the win by tacking on some sort of BS "religious protections," or other minimizing language to coddle the conservatives a bit.

In short (I know, too late), I'm betting that the liberal side gets plenty to celebrate, and a little bit to bitch about, and the conservative side will be dealt big losses, but have a few nuggets to cling to. I hope that my prediction is at least what comes to pass, and that it actually comes out better. A worse case scenario is likely to drag down my summer, and drag me back to some blistering blogging.

Either way, I'm optimistic, but nervous.

Behind the Blogger: You Can Go Home Again. . .But Everything is Smaller

As I've noted many times in this space, I've recently transplanted myself from Las Vegas--where I'd spent two decades of my  life--back home to central Ohio. The move had been many years in coming, with the timing only becoming "right" in recent months. And yes, the timing was right in several ways, primarily economically, which had not been true until very recently. It was also spectacularly bad timing for some other reasons, not the least of which was landing in Ohio during some of the worst of winter, and in the midst of some coincidental personal turmoil happening amongst some Las Vegas friends' lives.

But on the positive side of the line, we found a house that is already feeling like home. And spring is on the horizon (though I had forgotten Ohio's very moody, very changeable early spring climate). As I live out this stretch of days, wherein I acclimate to my new--if familiar--surroundings, and The Other Half continues to commute back "home" to Vegas for an uncertain amount of time, I still wander in a slight haze. As of this writing, there is no rush for me to attain permanent employment (which is  sweet, don't get me wrong). I've got errands and the many chores of new house set-up, along with my part-time work. I have had no shortage of things to do. And I've still got to get my blogging bug back.

Our poor, desert cars, after just over a week in Ohio.

Mostly, I'm still trying to shake the notion that I'm "just visiting." Every year of the past twenty, I've spent at least some time visiting Ohio, sometimes two or three times. A portion of my (seldom paid) vacation time almost always entailed "coming home." Because of this, and the gauzy reality I feel like I'm living in at the moment, I still don't feel completely gelled. So, I've wandered out quite a bit, to get a stronger feel for my area, my family's areas, and everything in between.

I've done much more driving than I'm used to. Which is necessary, because there's so much more land to travel than back in the Vegas Valley. There, outside of town there just isn't much besides desert and mountains. And my friends were almost exclusively within 5 miles driving distance. A "big day out" for me was the 11-mile drive to Costco I'd occasionally take on the weekends! Sure, once in a while I'd go out to Calico Basin, Valley of Fire, or venture to Primm or down into Arizona for lottery tickets or something. But mostly, I lived inside a 5-8 mile little area. All the time.

Now, in Ohio? Everyone is 20-30 minutes from here! Trips out to the store and back (beyond the grocery down the street) typically take at least an hour, something that really wasn't the case in Vegas. I'm much more likely to group my trips, plan them better, and have had to fill up my gas tanks much more often. At the same time, however, it's kind of startling how close things are.

A) Downtown Columbus B) My Old Stomping Grounds
C) My New Digs: Close together, worlds apart.
(Click to embiggen)

I know that's paradoxical, but what I mean is, areas that my memory holds as "worlds away" from each other, are actually smack-dab beside each other, often with no buffer whatsoever. For instance, I grew up in the small enclave of Whitehall. I'm now in Reynoldsburg, a larger suburb to the east, at one time considered an "outer" suburb. In truth, it's only separated by a ribbon of freeway and a thin strip of Columbus (which long ago oozed between the cracks of any other community here, just about). Moving west from Whitehall is a rather depressing--and Whitehall ain't joyous these days--strip of Columbus again, bumped up against the still quite frou frou Bexley. Then, train tracks and boom, you're in Olde Towne East/Franklin Park/Bronzeville, a hodge podge of enormous Victorian homes that range from dilapidated and condemned to gorgeous and renovated.

Another ribbon of highway to cross going west, and you're Downtown. The entire drive from my old stomping grounds to the center of Downtown Columbus is a little over 5 miles or so. Walking distance. But with at least five distinctly different areas, and several sub-areas, all of which don't fit in my brain into the same space. That's to say nothing of venturing north with the Downtown/Short North/Victorian Village/OSU Campus/Clintonville stretch, which to me has always blurred into one big thing. And I've been grafting onto these areas all of the places in between, shifting my young adult compartmentalized brain over to a middle-age cohesive whole. It's adding to the surreality  of everything.

And don't forget three big factors: a) the enormous amount of changes made to infrastructure and landscape in my absence; b) the simultaneous sameness--but subtly different nature--of many places around those changes; and c) the unreliability of decades-old memories. None of my memories, seemingly, can be absolutely trusted. As a navigator, I'm only as useful as my Swiss-cheese memory and horribly twitchy Android phone let me be. And on top of that, the scale of everything just seems off.

Google Earth promises a greener world than my camera
can currently deliver.

Whitehall in particular seems smaller. Much smaller than I remembered. Much closer to some surrounding areas that I'd have ever thought. And not particularly nice to look at. It's wedged in between two major thoroughfares, both of which were part of US40, the National Highway. And it was settled post-World War II. As such, there wasn't much zoning or thought put into beauty and
aesthetics. It's hemmed in by Columbus, and sits below and airport and a defense construction facility. There's nowhere to grow, and not much to beautify. When they tried, they shoe-horned in a completely anachronistic Victorian theme that still baffles me. But, I'm probably looking with jaded eyes, and at the tail end of winter too.

I know from experience (even with my unreliable memory) that spring and summer bring beauty, even to somewhat unbeautiful places. The dire looking bare trees and brown lawns will give way to gorgeous greenery soon. My mood--as it always used to do--will be buoyed by the sunshine, flowers, grass and trees. Depressing drives across suburbs and country spaces will start to feel more filled with optimism. I'll get there. And soon enough, the surrealness is bound to fade too.

I doubt my experience living 2,000 miles away in the Mojave Dessert will fade away for awhile. I'll be comparing things (notably traffic and traffic infrastructure, liquor laws, and shopping hours) to the way they do it in Vegas for many years to come. I'll continue to miss my friends out there. But I'm finding you can go home again. It's just smaller. And bigger. And different. But also the same.

Snowbound, Duty Bound, House Bound. . .Blog Moribund!

Okay, maybe not moribund. That means "dying," and in truth, the problem this week is just going to be time. During the past week, I got a semblance of my blogging mojo back. Maybe not full strength, but I got some stuff up there, much of it involving actual writing and thought on my part. So, yay me!

But this week is bound to throw in a whole toolbox of wrenches. Not only am I presently hopelessly snowed-in (which you'd think would lend me more time to blog, I know), but I need to get out. The Other Half is coming back after three weeks away working, and my parents--who own the manse I happen to be ensconced in--are coming back after a winter away. Beyond tidying up and preparing for that on the inside of the house, I've got to figure out the logistics of what to do about tons and tons of very deep snow in a very long lane.

This in addition to the regular telecommuting I do with my design work, closing on our new house, setting up utilities, and actually moving in. All amidst new snow, and all the other weather surprises Ohio can throw at me. So, the odds that this blogging space is going to look really deserted this week are quite high. I'll still try to get in here, I just wanted to drop this line of explanation.

Have a great week everybody. Here's hoping spring comes soon, and all over the place.

Frivolity Break: A Spider Spinning its Web

Apropos of absolutely nothing, besides a discussion with The Other Half about cobwebs vs. spider webs (if you're curious), I happened upon this YouTube video of a spider spinning a web from scratch. He's a talented little booger! Now I feel guilty for all of the webs I've destroyed. Kinda.
 

Upgrades at Greenlee Gazette

While I usually have less bloggng on weekends, by this time (currently 8:30ish on Sunday night), I've started getting some new stories up. So, what's the deal? Well, though I've only had my most recent desktop PC since late 2011, I went and got a new one!

See, I'm the techie in the family. And besides the blog, I have a freelance graphics business. So, even though it's The Other Half's computer (circa 2006) that is at death's door, it makes no sense to give him a brand new computer. He was really Mr. Complainy-pants about it before he left on his trip, so I decided to "start looking into" getting a new system for myself, and to hand-me-down my old one to him.

So, I hit Sam's Club, to see if there were any markdowns. There weren't. Okay, so I'll go take a look at the floor models, see what things are going for, get an idea of what I'm in for. I found a Dell (tower only) that had the bells and whistles I'd want, for $799. I looked at a couple more, some all-in-one with touchscreens (not good enough, or too pricey), a couple of budget models (Pentium chips? Really?), and then happened upon an $899 HP, with a 27" monitor. Hello, gorgeous. Nice size!

But I figured, with that big monitor, there must be a scaled down set of specs. But looky here, it's $125 off, from late June to July 21. Today. I wanted to do at least cursory study on this before plunking down my Discover card. Since I'd left my phone at home, I memorized the stock number (19. 45. 81. 19-45-81. 194581. Over and over). I looked it up at home, and was impressed. I looked up the tower-only one, and compared them. Still favorable. I decided I'd better compare the AMD chip in the one I wanted with the others Intel i5. It was a little less powerful, but only a teeny bit. And there was that 27" monitor! Back to the store I went, and now I'm typing this blog post on it.

But I'm far from done. I presently have the new one set up next to the old one. I've got The Other Half's computer backing up to the external drive. I've got my old one backing up. I've started converting my old one to his new one. And I'm putting everything I need on the new computer. Let me tell you, it's a lot of work! So, blogging tonight may be reduced, or non-existent while I finish up.

The Gay Thing: Supreme Court Denies Bid to Halt California Marriages

I've returned from a wonderful weekend in Palm Springs, celebrating my 5-year wedding anniversary to The Other Half. It was great to revisit the place of our marriage, and especially sweet to do so when same-sex marriage had been ruled legal again in California. But I've been a bit out of the loop on the happenings in the news.

When I saw via Twitter that the proponents of Proposition 8 was appalled and aghast that marriages had resumed on Friday, I experienced several feelings. Elation that weddings would resume while we were there. Happiness that this ridiculously protracted battle was over. Eye-rolling bemusement that this group would still not give up. And anger that even with the highest court in the land shutting them down, the National Organization for Marriage and their ilk are still obsessed with trying to squash my rights.

But schadenfreude is my overriding emotion. Especially now that the Supreme Court has thrown up a final--final--barrier. NOM has lost California. From now on, they can huff, and they can puff, but they are done. And it portends an eventual right to 50-state marriage, particularly when coupled with the DOMA decision that gives Federal recognition to married couples in some states, but not others. I'd very much like to confine my future responses to this question exactly as Nancy Pelosi responded to a question about Michele Bachmann's statements on the issue: "Who cares?" But that wouldn't fill much of a blog post, would it?

[Excerpt]

Supreme Court rejects bid to halt same-sex marriages in California

The Supreme Court rejected an emergency request to stop same-sex marriages in California, a lawyer for the gay couples who sued said Sunday. Theodore J. Boutrous Jr., one of the lawyers who challenged Proposition 8, said that he had just received word from the court Sunday morning that Justice Anthony M. Kennedy denied a request by ProtectMarriage, the sponsors of Proposition 8, to halt the marriages. . .

Read more at: Los Angeles Times

The Gay Thing: SCOTUS Watch (DOMA & Prop 8 Decisions Due)

For the past few weeks, there have been a whole lot of people waiting with bated breath for the Supreme Court to issue their rulings on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) case, and the California Proposition 8 case, both with huge ramifications for gay rights and marriage equality. All along, many court-watching professionals have indicated they thought the decisions wouldn't come down until the last week of the session, perhaps even on the very last day of it.

New tungsten carbide/carbon fiber wedding bands
for the anniversary!

Still, each recent Monday, there have been many with crossed fingers awaiting a decision, only to be disappointed. And then Thursdays--apparently a bonus decision day irregularly added--there has been another trickle of news, but nothing on the gay stuff. All through this, I've been aware that the last day of the Court's calendar is June 27, which happens to be the 5th anniversary of my same-sex marriage in California! Which seems as much like fate or kismet as an atheist like me is comfortable with. Now, it is possible that the decisions will come down today, or even be split between today and Thursday. But I have a hunch they're coming down--both of them--on my anniversary. I'm hopeful that whenever it happens, it is good news. And as we are going to be back in Palm Springs where we were married on our actual anniversary, it would be pretty cool to have a favorable verdict on both cases.

Watch this space.

PS: Oh, and hey, to any tech-savvy robbers out there, we've got a house sitter, so just forget it, alright? Cool.

Turkey in an Electric Roaster. . .How Hard Could it Be?

Yep, this is the one, from HamiltonBeach.com

This past Thanksgiving, I was at home in Ohio and assisted (kinda) my mother with the preparation. Mom has a manse, but her kitchen oddly only has one oven. But she solved the riddle of how to do a complete Thanksgiving dinner with just the one: an electric roaster. I watched as Mom took her thawed turkey out of the fridge, dropped it into a floured plastic oven bag, put a big pat of butter on Tom, popped him into the roaster and shut the lid. Three hours later, voila! Perfect, moist turkey!

I was inspired to buy one of those roasters for The Other Half this Christmas. Got it at a steep discount, no tax and no shipping from Amazon. Sweet! More than once, we'd wished we had a second oven. And more than once we didn't want to use the oven, because we didn't want to heat up the house. So an electric roaster was a perfect gift. I had to explain why it was a perfect gift when it was unwrapped, but it was well received (even by the cat).

What could go wrong?

Three days ago, I put one of our bargain frozen turkeys in the fridge to thaw, with the intent of trying the roaster today. Unfortunately, the bird was still semi-frozen this afternoon, but we fixed that with a brine bath. No problem! So, we floured the bag, preheated the roaster, put the bird in with a butter pat and lowered the rack into the roaster. . .and the bag grazed both sides of the pan and melted. Quick! Back out and onto the counter. No problem, we'll just scrub off the plastic, and figure something out.

I'd pondered this issue when I saw "don't use plastic oven bags" in the instructions, but Mom assured me it was fine. I'd pondered it again when I saw in the bag instructions that you can't let the bag touch the sides, bottom, lid or rack (what the hell else it could touch, who knows), but if you can't trust your Mom, who can you trust? Besides, it's an oven bag, and not a cheapie, but one from Reynolds. Touching the sides was 100% unavoidable given the 20-pound bird's size (the oven allegedly will hold a 24-pounder). Didn't matter. 325 degrees and the bastard melted on. And it wasn't scrubbing off either, no sir. I even tried burning it off with a butane lighter. Nothing. No dice.

Hmmm. Says "oven" and "turkey" right on the box.
I honestly have no idea how other people
manage to do this.

Ultimately, we decided to take the roaster onto the patio, plug it in, and run it on high--empty--for half an hour. We removed the (ruined) plastic bag, coated the bird with olive oil and pepper, put it on the rack, popped it into the roaster--still on the patio--at full temperature for half an hour. I'd seen that part in one of the online suggestions. Then, I dropped the temperature back to 325 for the rest of its time. As I type this, it is still out there with about half an hour to go.

The cat takes the roaster for a spin.

Will it smell or taste of roasted plastic? I guess it might, but I hope not. Will the roasting pan have a permanent splotch of plastic on two sides? I'm guessing it will at least leave a mark. I honestly wonder what good an oven bag is if it melts instantly. Do people put Turkeys in a glass dish in the roaster or something? I honestly don't get it. But my easy breezy solution turned out to be anything but. After I bring the sucker in, and assuming that goes without surprises or injury, I will update this post. Cross your fingers for me.

Not bad, right?

UPDATE: I brought the roaster in, and despite a sore back and a generally klutzy nature (not to mention hearing the fat inside sizzle as it jostled), I got the roaster into the kitchen and onto the counter without incident. Turkey Lurkey's thermometer popped, and he's a nice golden brown. He's kind of all loosey goosey too, but smells delicious. It's difficult to see (The Other Half is asleep, and I can't really turn up the lights), but the plastic may have steamed off, and down into the fat. I hope so. Of course, then it's probably permeated the whole bird, and I'll get cancer and die. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, it looks lovely.

UPDATE II:  The turkey was moist and delicious, no issues with a plasticky taste or anything. And it turns out that the plastic did mostly disappear on one side, but not on the other (where there had been more contact). In addition to open flame, I've tried scrubbing with a sponge, a metal scrubby, a plastic spatula, a metal spatula, I tried freezing it, and I tried broiling it. Nothing. My next try may be to either put it on the barbeque grill, or put it in the oven and set it on "clean." Either thing could possibly ruin the pan, but I'm that desperate! And Googling was no help either. If you happened to find this post and know how to get a cooking bag's melted corpse off of a roasting pan, please let me know!

UPDATE III: I took the racks out of our gas range, put the roasting pan insert into the oven, closed the door and set it to "clean." Problem solved.

4th Anniversary for Greenlee Gazette Editor's Big Gay Marriage!

The only time I ever use the term "gay marriage" is in internet discussions, because that is the colloquial term most used. "Same-sex marriage" is a little more descriptive, but still cumbersome. "Marriage equality" is now the preferred term by supporters. The decidedly odd opposition (I mean really, who dedicates their life to trying to stop other peoples' weddings, outside of a soap opera?) has more colorful, but usually badly descriptive terms. I just call mine a marriage.

But I'd be lying if I said that my fourth marriage anniversary with The Other Half is a huge event. We've been together for 14-1/2 years. We got married in Palm Springs just a few weeks short of 10-1/2 years together. So "four" sounds kind of silly. And there was no pomp nor circumstance at our wedding. Just a couple of friends, and later, dinner at a Mexican restaurant with them. The date was chosen because we were nearly certain that Prop. 8 was going to pass, and make the possibility disappear, at least in a nearby state. We already felt "married," but on June 27, we made it official.  And, of course, the busybodies (armed with bucketloads of cash from the Mormon and Catholic churches) managed to convince enough Californians to squash marriage equality in the state.

Our marriage is still valid in the states where same-sex marriage is still legal. In some of the states that have legalized it, the busybodies are at work again, trying to reverse it. Why, I have no idea. This is no longer a hypothetical concept. We're real, married couples. And the sky didn't fall. "God" didn't swallow up those states. And to what end? Even if my marriage did get nullified by voters (and in America, can you imagine that concept?), are we going to split up? No. Are we going to stop being gay? No. Stop loving each other? No.

I started this post with the intention of merely commenting on my anniversary, and saying "I love you honey" to The Other Half. But posts on this blog are read by many who never comment, never tell me they were here. This is an important issue, and I think it needs to be reiterated again and again. If you take nothing else from this post, remember this: Gay people aren't looking for "holy matrimony." If we wanted a church wedding, there are already denominations who will accommodate that. We're looking for nothing more than civil marriage equality. Civil marriages only include religion if you want them to. Unless you're going to try and stop atheist and interfaith marriages.

United Airlines Computer Crash Grounds Flights

Image from source, Boston.com

As a long-time computer user (is 30 years a long time?) and husband to a United Airlines employee, this story gets me on a couple of levels. I've been affected by (and the occasional cause of) a computer glitch/disaster/Apocalypse at more than one job. But I've never worked for an international company, where a computer crash could affect the lives of thousands of people. Well, except for Bank One for a short patch in the 80s, but we were barely computerized. Shoot, we could use rubber stamps and calculators in a pinch back then.

Anyway, in a typical "checking in" phone call this evening, The Other Half mentioned a computer issue. "Hope it doesn't last too long," he said from his airport location that I was too disinterested/drunk to note. Only later--in fact on the 11:00 news, did I know that this is a worldwide issue with UAL! Holy moley. Though I've got to say, when I see him using his online software, and it is green letters on a black background, with arcane abbreviations. . . I'm not altogether surprised that this ancient system could be prone to glitches. Get home safely, honey!

[Excerpt]

United Airlines: Computers coming back online

Stranded United Airline passengers wait at the United Airlines ticket counter at Denver International Airport Friday, June 17, 2011, in Denver, Co. United Airlines is reporting computer problems that are affecting flights across the United States. On its Twitter page, United reported late Friday the computer outage was interrupting departures, airport processing and reservations. Attempts to access the airline's website are also being stymied. . .

Read more at: Boston.com

Editor & The Other Half Celebrate 1st Anniversary!

Much to the chagrin of the "Yes on 8" group of party poopers, The Other Half and I today celebrate our first wedding anniversary. Yes, they may have stopped new same-sex marriages in California--for now--but they did not succeed in annulling the ones that had already happened. A heartfelt and resonant thpppppppp!!! to anyone who voted for Proposition 8, and yes that is a digital raspberry, with a certain recognizable hand gesture for good measure.

That said, it is a strange thing to celebrate our first anniversary when we've actually been together 11-1/2 years now. I suppose it's like those long-co-habitating couples who finally give in to the "why don't you get married?" pressure. Except for us, there was no pressure. There was a limited time-frame, and we knew it. As soon as same-sex marriages were legal in California, we knew it was only a matter of time before the religious right--forgetting the American ideal of separation of church and state--would blow out all the stops to revoke that right. Were we wrong?

As soon as we knew it was going to be legal, we made plans to go to Palm Springs, where a friend lives, and tie the knot. Happily, an "opposite married" couple of long-term friends made the trip with us, turning the trip into a mini-vacation. A good time was had by all, and the vows were exchanged. Photographic evidence exists, but may never be revealed, due to the extra pounds we were both packing last year.

Our marriage holds no official status in our adopted state of Nevada (thanks to a ridiculous, especially in Las Vegas, constitutional amendment). My home state of Ohio has something similar, though The Other Half's home state of Iowa is suddenly much more accommodating. But all of that isn't particularly relevant until DOMA is overturned, and Federal rights are acknowledged. I believe this will happen, though President Obama is being maddeningly inscrutable about it. Meanwhile, we are legally married if we drive 45 minutes to the state line, or should we visit Iowa, Connecticut, Maine (for now), New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts and possibly New York, New Jersey and Washington DC.

And in our hearts, we've been married for a long time anyway. And we won't let constitutional amendments, ignorance, hatefulness, comparisons to polygamy, pedophilia and incest--by citizens, and by the government--change that. Go ahead and put your scare quotes around my "marriage" if it makes you feel better. It won't change a thing.

And honey, I'm sorry this turned into a rant. I don't always know where a piece is going when I start out! Happy anniversary.

America and the Sanctity of Marriage

Image from Bag of Nothing

In a couple of weeks, The Other Half a I will celebrate one year of marriage. It's not "opposite marriage," in the parlance of recently former Miss California Carrie Prejean. It's same-sex marriage. "Marriage" with scare-quotes, if you prefer. We didn't rush into it, having been co-habitating for nine years, and having known each other for over ten. And so far, the sky hasn't fallen, the Earth has kept on spinning, and straight people didn't abandon their spouses for a hottie of their own gender.

In fact, short of the political squabbles, and the protests over Proposition 8, life is pretty much as it was. At least as it relates to couples, families, children--you know, society--of which our union was supposedly going to "rend the fabric." All of the fear mongering, all of the arguments against gay marriage are--as they always have been--false. Lies, in other words. All that opponents really want is the legal right to openly discriminate against gay people. It's all they've ever wanted. It's why they're also against including gay people under hate crimes legislation, even though religion is already covered. It all boils down to the fact that if gay people are given complete equal rights and protections, the anti-gays might get in trouble if they want to continue to treat us like dirt. Boo-hoo.

The blogosphere is all atwitter (ha!) today over the Obama Administration's DOJ defense of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). The defense is shockingly, inexplicably robust for an administration that is allegedly against the act. I'll admit to being disheartened by it. Disillusioned, even. But I'm also willing to see where this goes. I want to hear what the President has to say about it, and how it all plays out. If it is true that we've been hoodwinked, and that Obama is intentionally throwing us under the bus, I really don't know where I stand, politically. We certainly can't defect to the right, which is worse. And starting a third party seems to have a minuscule chance of any sort of success. Might we be stuck siding with a party leader who doesn't give a rip about a slice of his constituency? Maybe.

Meanwhile, the "sanctity of marriage" argument is losing as well. Remember Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? and Married by America? If you don't, how about The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? These are all game shows where contestants try to "win" a--heretofore unknown to them--wife or husband. Well I just opened the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, and the networks are at it again. Coming soon to a TV screen near you, I Married a Stranger on FOX and Arranged Marriage on CBS! Nice to see that America is so worried about the sanctity of marriage that they are of course protesting these shows with the vehemence of "Yes on 8." Right? Right???

Happy Birthday to The Other Half

When I met The Other Half, he was only a youthful 36-years-old. While a lot has happened since then, and it does seem like a while, it seems impossible to believe that to day is his 48th birthday. It's OK though, he's aging well, and I'm following right along with him! Happy birthday, honey!

Proposition 8 Decided: Split Decision

Today, the long-awaited decision by the California Supreme Court regarding last November's Proposition 8 was finally handed down. The surprise was that it wasn't all that surprising a result. The Court upheld the misguided vote by the people to strip marriage rights from gay people. But they also decided that the 18,000+ same-sex marriages that had already taken place would be allowed to stand.

Which places yours truly in a category I've never sought: a recipient of "special rights." The Other Half and I got married in Palm Springs almost a year ago. And while I would have continued to wear my wedding ring in any event, I'm relieved that it still represents a legally valid marriage in an increasing number of states. But it puts me in an odd category. I hold a right that no further gay person will be allowed to hold in California as the law currently stands.

Of course, there will be further challenges to the new status quo. Gay rights activists plan to put another ballot initiative to a vote, and good for them. Oddly, it compounds the already flawed system of voting on the rights of a group of citizens. I think most people had previously understood that voting on minority rights just isn't how we usually do things in America. There's the whole "tyranny of the majority" thing. Civil rights might never have been passed for African Americans--for example--if they had been put to a vote in the 1960s.

So, there will probably be a hew and cry by "Yes on 8" activists who started this whole thing. They'll likely shout "the people have spoken," and accuse their opposition of trying to reverse "settled law." But you see, this whole flawed system was exploited by the Yes on 8ers. And there is no prohibition about trying again. If anything, the new initiative will have a stronger leg to stand on, since people like me enjoy a right that other people cannot. Plus, it may shine a light on the absurdity of California's initiative process. So a disappointing day in this long war may end up being a turning point for future success. All in my opinion, of course.

Weekend Project #1: Jeep de-Aging (Pt. 2)

I didn't want to do it, I really didn't. After changing out the fender flares on the left side of my Jeep Wrangler yesterday, I just wasn't sure if my body was up to it. My fingertips are bruised from trying to hold the plastic nuts while using the socket wrench on the bolts. My elbow is bruised from when the wrench slipped off of the impossibly shallow bolt heads. My skin is slashed on my wrists and on my hands from the edges of the fender flares.


But I decided, damn it, I'm going to do it. Otherwise, I'd put it off for a week, a month, who knows? I'd have one side with fresh new fenders, and one side with 11-year faded ones. So I saddled up, and rode that bitch. But this time, even though it is exacting work trying to hold those little nuts and bolts, I wore work gloves. I thought it would slow me down, but it didn't. I was able to hold the plastic nut much better, and the gloves got shredded instead of my hands. There were little bits of suede all over the fenders when I was done.

Anyway, here are the results. The photos don't give the full effect, unfortunately, because the old fenders just look dusty in the top photo. In fact, they were faded to an uneven light gray, with even lighter speckles here and there. The new fenders are black, black, black.

So, I washed the truck--and got suckered into washing The Other Half's car as well--thus completing weekend project #1!

Vermont Legalizing Same-sex Marriage?

Image from source, TowleRoad

Well, if the Supreme Court of California decides in its infinite wisdom to "annul" my marriage, at least we'll have another state to choose from, to legally renew our vows. Probably. It's not 100% official yet, but it looks like Vermont is on the fast-track to legalize same-sex marriage. Which is cool.

[Excerpt]

Vermont Senate Approves Same-Sex Marriage

. . ."The bill will have third reading and vote Tuesday. All bills have three readings. It is designed for people to reconsider or amend an item, but it unlikely that a vote would change on a third reading. A similar measure begins moving through the House on Tuesday with testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. A full vote on that measure wouldn't come before next week. . .

Read more at: TowleRoad

My Saturday Project: Turn 1-Car Garage into 2-Car

Actually, the joke is, we have a three-car garage. But last winter when The Ex-Roommate was staying with us, his stuff took up most of the third bay. No matter, it's just for storage anyway. But early this year, when we decided to swap our guest room for my office space, the first-bay was taken up by the overflow from all of that moving.

We've parked The Other Half's Volkswagen Golf in the driveway ever since. I got fed up today. Partly because Stupid Monkey Planet is coming over to help me work on my Jeep Wrangler, and I'm embarrassed that the garage looks so terrible. And the other reason is, in our neighborhood--which consists entirely of homes with three-car garages and three-car driveways--it is not uncommon to see sixteen to twenty cars parked outside, just in the four houses across from and adjacent to our house. It looks like a friggin' parking lot, and I don't like adding to it.

Still, it wasn't easy. We have a vanity that was removed from the guest room, and won't fit in the new room. We had tons of The Ex-Roomate's stuff that still populated the guest room. And we had 10 years worth of accumulated stuff in two closets to deal with. My first notion was to haul a bunch of stuff to Goodwill. Instead, SafeNest called, looking for donations. So, we boxed up a bunch of the clothing items and left them on the stoop.

Next, I piled a curbload of stuff out front with a "take me, I'm free!" sign, and had 99% of that stuff taken in about 10 minutes. More stuff in the garbage, and (unfortunately), the rest piled around the edges, and especially the now STUFFED third bay. But as the evidence shows, I now have both our cars in the garage. Whoopee!!!

Now, it is time for the real work to begin. . .fixing the Jeep. Ugh. At least I enjoy the Monkey's company, even if I detest working on cars!

Decision to Come on Proposition 8

Image from source, SFGate

The buzz in California is that the State Supreme Court is likely to uphold Proposition 8, the measure that stripped same-sex couples of the existing right to marry. But that same buzz is saying that the 18,000 couples that got married last year will likely retain their status.

So, while I'm very bummed that the probable outcome of this will be a win by the bad guys, I'm relieved to find out that my marriage will very likely still be valid. Which is cool. And it got me to thinking that this might be a pretty good outcome. How so?

Well, the California Supreme Court will not have a fight on their hands from the religious kook set. The ruling could be amended yet again if it's put on the ballot. California won't be facing the demand that they give 18,000 couples their money back. And I wonder if some same-sex couple out there, one that wants to get married, might not find a lawyer. They'll point to those 18,000 couples, and say "hey, no fair!" And it seems to me like they just might have a case.

Of course, California will see a heavy protest by its sizable gay contingent. I have no idea where it's going to go, but I'll bet it's going to be ugly.

[Excerpt]

Justices seem to be leaning in favor of Prop. 8

The California Supreme Court, which last year declared the right of gays and lesbians to marry, appeared ready Thursday to uphold the voters' decision to overrule the court and restore the state's ban on same-sex marriage. . .

Read more at: SFGate