Showing posts with label Coming Out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coming Out. Show all posts

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Prison Break's Wentworth Miller Comes Out, Refuses Russian Invitation

Image from Glaad.org
As a pop culture follower and a gay person, I'm pretty clued in to which celebrities are really gay, but in a "glass closet." Sometimes a name will surprise me (I really didn't guess Neil Patrick Harris, Wanda Sykes or Stephanie Miller), but usually I've heard it by the time they come out. I'm not saying I'm special or anything, but it's remarkable how often rumors are correct. Anderson Cooper, Ricky Martin, Matt Bomer, George Michael, Melissa Etheridge, Ellen DeGeneres, Jim Parsons, Victor Garber, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Sean Hayes, Clay Aiken and many more were all "known" to those in the know long before they came out. There are still several big names in the glass closet, and the emptier it gets, the more you wonder a) what they're waiting for and b) if there's even a chance that they're actually straight. You know who I mean, right?

Anyway, good on Wentworth Miller for coming out--though I "knew" he was in there--for coming out in a classy way, and with a politically relevant message. Kudos to you sir!

[Excerpt]

Wentworth Miller rejects Russian film festival invitation; 'As a gay man, I must decline'

Actor and screenwriter Wentworth Miller today rejected an invitation to attend the St. Petersburg International Film Festival, citing Russia's anti-LGBT laws. In a letter to the Festival's Director, the 'Prison Break' star stated that "as a gay man, I must decline." Miller goes on to say that he is "deeply troubled" by Russia's lawful brutality toward the LGBT community. "I cannot in good conscience participate in a celebratory occasion hosted by a country where people like myself are being systematically denied their basic right to live and love openly," Miller concludes. . .

Read more at: GLAAD.org

Friday, May 24, 2013

The Gay Thing: Living With Success and Setbacks


Back when I started this blog (almost 6 years ago now), I did a series of Behind the Blogger posts to introduce myself to whatever scant readership was around in those early days. I titled those segments in a similar way, The Politics Thing, The Religion Thing, The Writing Thing, The Debt Thing and ultimately The Gay Thing. I started the blog as an outlet for my frustrations during the second George W. Bush administration, not as a gay rights blog, neither primarily or even secondarily.

As the blog has evolved, and as news has more often been about The Gay Thing, there have been days--hell, sometimes whole weeks--where it seemed like this was full-on gay rights news blog. For some reason, I feel compelled to apologize for that, and explain it away with humor. This isn't due to some sort of lingering shame or self-loathing, it's just not the mission I set out for the blog. But maybe it should be.

My turn was 1996. A lifetime ago!
Or rather, maybe I should just allow the subject to be more front-and-center. Oh, I doubt things will change too much around here. In fact the extent of the changes are thus: the banner above has been created, and will be used for most stories with this subject. And I'm not apologizing or explaining the reason for the posts anymore. They are just part of the blog. I started making banners for different subjects a few years ago, and continue to add them when I recognize that I'm continuing on a theme. It's time The Gay Thing was it's own thing here at Greenlee Gazette.

Being gay in America has always had its challenges. I became an adult in a very scary era for gay people, the birth of the AIDS crisis. It kept me fairly monk-like in my behavior through much of the 1980s, which I can credit for a very lonely early 20s, and with potentially saving my life. I also never experienced the mass death of a circle of friends, because I was not in or of the community. I was unplugged, and am in some ways removed from my own generation.

But I was always clued in to any scrap of news, so it's not like I didn't know what was going on. And by the time I came out to the world at large at age 30, America was an easier place to be gay than at any earlier time. Sure, we were still used as a wedge issue, a scare tactic. Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) had only been law--by Bill Clinton of all people--for a couple of years. But friends and family were immediately (or almost immediately) accepting and supportive. It was practically painless.

Married for almost 5 years now, legally, though not in NV.
One reason that it is frustrating to have the topic of gay
marriage treated as a hypothetical. We've been getting
married for almost a decade now.
There was a dark time not long after that, for gay people across the country. There were rumblings of activity in Hawaii, where it appeared that gay marriage might become legal. In a panic--or in a shrewd fundraising/electoral move--the right wing went into heavy demonizing mode. In states across the country, they started passing preemptive laws and constitutional amendments that barred gay marriage. Often times, the laws were redundant, where marriage was already defined as "one man, one woman." Didn't matter, it was time to make a stand. The biggest move--again, by Bill Clinton--was the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). The most head-scratching was the constitutional amendment in Nevada, home of the quickie marriage and quickie divorce.

All through this, the right maintained that it wasn't an anti-gay movement, no, no. They were merely "protecting marriage."  This focus-tested phrase came straight from groups with likewise focus-tested names, usually including the word "Family." But their motives have always been transparent. It doesn't take much effort to find a "traditional marriage" crusader's core motives, if you simply engage them in conversation. It's largely a fundamental inability for them to separate holy matrimony from civil marriage. And an inability to truly get them to acknowledge a separation of church and state.

A lot rests in SCOTUS's hands. Not scary at all. . .
But the tide has turned! The wave of anti-gay marriage measures seemed to not only recede, but race in the opposite direction. In April, we were up to 9 states plus the District of Columbia with full marriage equality. In this month alone, we've gained 3 more, with the possible inclusion of Illinois by month's end, plus very likely regaining California in June.

June is when the Supreme Court announces their rulings on DOMA and Proposition 8 (the referendum that rescinded same-sex marriage rights in California). Most SCOTUS followers believe we will get modest gains for marriage equality at the very least, with the possibility for a broader ruling. And this happens on my 5th wedding anniversary, which is very cool!

But any celebration is tempered by reality. In recent days, there have been reminders that gay people are not fully equal, or sometimes even safe in our own country. There's a teenaged girl whose girlfriend's parents conspired with police to arrest as soon as she turned 18, because the girl was dating their 15-year-old daughter, the motivation being that they didn't want their daughter to be gay. A Texas lesbian with a child by a previous marriage was ordered that she cannot reside with her partner and retain custody. There was a man shot in the head in New York City, killed just for being gay. There has been a rash of assaults in that city, all motivated by anti-gay animus.

A veritable anti-gay crime wave has hit NYC
Read about it here.
Gays are routinely viciously maligned on Twitter, Facebook, message boards, blogs, letters to the editor, and any other forum when a gay related issue is being discussed. "Good Christian" business owners are fighting for the right to refuse the sale of goods and services to gay people, because they "disagree with the lifestyle." Organizations like the "Family" ones mentioned above and the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) exist solely or primarily to actively fight gay civil rights. The Boy Scouts--who, to their credit just decided to allow gay scouts to be members--won't allow gay leaders. Arguments on that subject (and many others) falsely equate homosexuality with pedophilia. And finally, gays were used as a weapon again by the GOP, who held the immigration reform bill hostage, so long as it allowed gay married bi-national couples to be covered under it.

In short (I know, too late), there are still many mountains to climb for full civil equality.  And while I haven't been silent by any stretch, I have been reserved, timid even, though less so lately. I'm going to stop shying away. This is my blog after all, and it isn't as if I have an enormous and dedicated following anyway. So, expect to see the subject covered without apology from now on. Thank you.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Shazam! Jim Nabors Marries Partner of 38 Years!

Image from Palzoo.net
Go-o-l-l-l-yyy! Yes, there have long been rumors that Jim Nabors is gay. It might be more surprising to some that Jim Nabors is still alive, but that's another story. Famous from The Andy Griffith Show, Gomer Pyle USMC and The Jim Nabors Hour, as well as countless appearances on 70s TV, Nabors was long rumored to have secretly married Rock Hudson. Though that was an odd and rather unbelievable hoax, the sexuality of both men was easier to swallow. And now we know. So, congratulations to Mr. Nabors and his husband. Oh, and on that whole "still being alive" thing too!

[Excerpt]

‘Gomer Pyle, USMC’ star Jim Nabors marries male partner in Seattle

“Gomer Pyle, USMC” star Jim Nabors married his longtime male partner at Seattle’s Fairmont Olympic Hotel earlier this month, according to Hawaii News Now. Nabors, a Hawaii resident, had never publicly come out. But his relationship with Stan Cadwallader wasn’t a secret before they decided to take advantage of Washington’s new same-sex marriage law, he told the news station. . .

Read more at: The Seattle Times

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Thursday is National Coming Out Day

Come out, come out, wherever you are! Honestly, closeted gay people, what is keeping you in there! Trust me when I tell you, whatever barrier is blocking your path, in retrospect, it really isn't all that. And nowadays, look how much company you'll have on the outside! These days, celebrities don't even do a big splashy Time or People Magazine reveal, they just quietly affirm. And nobody cares! Did Jim Parsons coming out hurt The Big Bang Theory? Nope. Did Anderson Cooper lose his multiple TV gigs? Nope. Neil Patrick (wait for it) Harris? Are you kidding?

It wasn't quite so crowded out here when I took that step. Picture it, National Coming Out Day, October 11, 1996. I'd lived in Las Vegas only two years by then, 2,000 miles away from my family. I have a small family, and at the time only a small group of friends here in Vegas. I decided that I was 30 years old (so young!) and it was time to just yank off that band aid. So, I picked up the phone, and started dialing. I called a married couple, both friends of mine. . .answering machine. I called my sister. . .same thing. I called my brother. . .no answer. Mom and Dad? Ditto! I left several messages, all with a cryptic, "call me back, it's important."

The return calls slowly came in. I told my friends (He said, "Okay. So what's your news?" She said, "I knew it!"). My sister was cool about it. My brother was only annoyed that I hadn't told him sooner. Mom cried, but was--mostly--cool the next day. I met my future husband a little over a year later, and he's become a member of the family, as well as my (expanded) circle of friends, with all the rights and privileges I enjoy as a member. Life is good! I've never regretted my decision for a minute.
The company we keep.

The funny thing is, after you come out--unless you're a celebrity--you have to keep coming out. Every time you move, get a new job, meet new people, get a new coworker, you have to go through it again. Sometimes, I just let the news leak out organically. Sometimes I'm right up front about it. I don't make it a habit to blurt out, "I'm gay!" at the bank or the supermarket. But I've long since stopped worrying people will find out, or feeling shy about saying something where it really should be said. There are "levels" of out, though. I never told my (then) surviving grandparents, or elderly aunt. Weighing the value vs. the trouble, it just wasn't worth it to me. And that's okay. It's your coming out, make up your own rules. You can ease out quietly if you want to!


Friday, June 22, 2012

The Glass Closet

Image from source, New York Observer
There is a new phenomenon in the world of gay celebrities: The Glass Closet, and the eventual anti-climactic outing. There have always been those who are rumored to be gay, but nobody seems to really know. For years, that has included Kevin Spacey, Tom Cruise and John Travolta. All have at one time or another outright denied it, the final two vigorously. Cruise has seemingly been on a quest to be portrayed as manly as possible, and rumors be damned, there sure doesn't seem to be evidence. The older Travolta is less successful, and has seen a rash of allegations lately that makes the rumors seem true. And while I'll admit to playing this gossipy guessing game, I have no idea.

Of course I missed the one about Doogie. I had no idea that Neil Patrick Harris was gay before he came out. My gaydar is good, but that one didn't register. But right now, we've got a whole list of openly gay celebrities who surprised very few people when they acknowledged it, because we kinda already knew. Ricky Martin, Sean Hayes, Jim Parsons, Zachary Quinto, Matt Bomer. . .I already "knew" before I knew. But there are the ones still in The Glass Closet that are vexing.

Travolta of course--if he is gay--has constructed an elaborate fiction of a straight life. So, revelation would be embarrassing, and for his religion, forbidden. Anderson Cooper seems unlikely to lose much of anything, other than perhaps his own safety in certain places in the world he reports from. But Queen Latifah? I can't imagine she'd lose much of her following. She's talented and funny. Like Wanda Sykes before her, there would be very little downside.

There's another kind of glass closet, though. It's got one way mirrors, and everyone can see that the person inside is gay, but they're oblivious that we can see them. I'm thinking of a certain Barry Man. . .ilow. A Rich. . .ard Simmons. Perhaps a Marcus Bach. . .mann? I don't know what their problems are.

[Excerpt]


Outward Bound: Celebs Struggle To Keep Sexuality Secret(ish), But Media Make Mischief

At a crowded movie premiere in Midtown recently, The Observer witnessed a young movie and TV star—a dashing young man who’s been involved with several starlets despite whispers about his close relationships with other men—sitting for the entire party in close conversation with a well-groomed gent, even as his co-stars circulated. As we passed, the plus-one stared us down, as if to say, “Step off,” or perhaps, “Don’t you dare write about this. . .”

Read more at: New York Observer

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Jim Parsons if The Big Bang Theory Officially Has The Gay!

Jim Parsons, from HuffPo
And now, we know what Sheldon's "deal" is. And while many of us with functional gaydar already knew this (and were secretly wishing it were Johnny Galecki), it's always nice to have it confirmed. Jim Parsons has very likely been open about it behind the scenes, and it is a shame that gay celebrities have this dual coming out business. But now--unlike the rest of us, whenever we move or get new jobs--he never has to do it again! There will be militants who will harumph and say, "sure, now that The Big Bang Theory is going into year six, he had nothing to lose." To which I say, exactly. And so what? Everybody hopes to have ideal circumstances when they come out. Don't begrudge the man. Support him!

[Excerpt]

Jim Parsons Comes Out As Gay: 'Big Bang Theory' Star's Sexuality Officially Revealed In New York Times


Actor Jim Parsons has revealed he is gay and in a committed relationship in a new interview. . .

Read more at: Huffington Post 

And here's Penny's question about Sheldon's "deal". . .

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Funny or Die: Coming Out on Christmas

When I came out to my family, I had to call home, because they are 2,000 miles away in Ohio. Long story short, nobody was home, and I had to leave super-important, vague messages for everybody. The resulting call-backs were a comedy of errors, and nobody was too put out or surprised. But, my situation was a little more ordinary than this. . .

 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Gay Soldier Comes Out to His Dad

I know this video is everywhere. But to cap off my "coverage" of the end of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," I couldn't resist posting this. It's a tough thing for anyone to do, coming out to a parent. But I'd wager a bit tougher for a military man.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Out Names Gay "Power 50" Shepard Smith, Anderson Cooper, Matt Drudge

Image from source, Out
My eyes just about bugged out of my head when I saw a post about this on AmericaBlog. Of course they popped out when Anderson Cooper and Matt Drudge made the list in years past. Maybe since the word "gay" isn't in the official top 50 list, they can't get sued? But then, the truth is a defense in a libel case, and telling the truth really can't be defamation either, right? And I'd have to think that Out Magazine must be pretty sure about the orientation of the people they picked. And Shepard placed sixth! Welcome to the club, Shep.

[Excerpt]

The Fifth Annual [Out] Power 50

In times of upheaval, power changes hands fast. It's no surprise, then, that two of our 10 10 names this year are new entries. Or that one -- Apple's Tim Cook -- rockets to the top of the list. TV and the internet remain fertile ground for LGBT talent and power to flourish, with five more of our group coming from talk shows, news programs, or tablet launches (Ellen DeGeneres, Anderson Cooper, Rachel Maddow, new entry Shepard Smith and Barry Diller). . .

Read more at: Out

Friday, August 13, 2010

Radio Host Stephanie Miller Comes Out of the Closet!

Image from source, Tonic
Updated with audio

Wow. Of all days to not be listening!  I've written several times about my fandom for The Stephanie Miller Show on the radio, most recently here.  But I really had no idea that she was gay. In fact, when I've heard her joke along those lines, I really thought it was just that, a joke! It's her stock-in-trade.

Steph has always been very gay friendly, and often joked about having a "gay ray" that turns her male suitors gay.  Maybe she turned it on herself?  Hah!  Anyway, if I'd guessed there was a coming out on the show, I would have guessed it was Chris LaVoie, her producer.  No aspersions intended of course, I'm gay myself, and Chris always seemed to be a kindred spirit.  And he may well be straight and merely gay-adjacent like frequent guest host Hal Sparks.  Who knows?  But if he is closeted, it'd be pretty silly to stay there now!

So congrats to Steph. It takes courage to come out, even being a liberal, with an established career. It's not exactly a hostile audience that she's coming out to. But as I tried to explain back when I came out (has it really been 14 years?), once those bullets are out of the gun, you can't put 'em back. Once you're out, you're out.  Unless you're Anne Hache.  At least Steph has the advantage of a modicum of fame behind her, and won't have to constantly come out to new acquaintances for the rest of her life.  We un-famous people never stop having to come out to new people!

The upside for Steph is, she'll likely lose close to zero listeners, and may actually gain more than a few.  Now, about Chris. . .

[Excerpt]



Stephanie Miller: "I am a Gay Woman"


Saying she was inspired by discussions with her friend country singer Chely Wright, who became the first country music star to come out as gay in May of this year, the host of the self-titled radio program, The Stephanie Miller Show announced to her listeners Friday that she too is gay. . .

Read more at: Tonic

Friday, October 9, 2009

TV Characters Who Should Come Out of the Closet


This hit my funny bone in just the right spot (hat tip to Kenneth in the 212).

[Excerpt]

15 TV Characters Who Never Came Out Of The Closet (But Should Have)

Let’s face it, only in the last few years has society found it acceptable to portray homosexuals on TV. Of course it’s only safe when they show the approved stereotypes, such as the quirky and well dressed funny ones. It’s a giant step considering what we had to see years ago. Stuffy awkward people who we just assumed enjoyed being single. TV would have been much different, if they weren’t suppressed. . .

Read more at: Comedy.com

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Out of the Closet: David Ogden Stiers


Image from source, AfterElton

I've always prided myself with a keen sense of "gaydar." Yep, I can usually tell. But when you throw British into the equation, the gauges fluctuate madly, and confuse the readout. David Ogden Stiers from M*A*S*H? I honestly had no idea.

[Excerpt]

M*A*S*H actor David Ogden Stiers finally comes out

David Ogden Stiers, the Emmy-nominated actor who first found widespread fame playing Major Charles Winchester on the TV series M*A*S*H and who later voiced many characters in animated Disney musicals, has come out in an interview with the gay Oklahoma City blog gossip-boy.com.

“I am [gay],” Ogden Stiers said. “Very proud to be so. . .”

Read more at: AfterElton


Friday, April 24, 2009

Outrage Movie to Out Closeted Gay Politicians


Image from source, indieWIRE

I am conflicted on the practice of "outing." As a general rule, I believe that gay people ought to be able to "come out" on their own schedules. Nobody forced me out, and I really appreciate that. Sometimes a person is constrained by circumstance, some are conflicted internally. . .there are as many reasons to stay closeted as there are gay people. Most of us feel a great sense of relief once the deed is done. But then, most of us picked our own coming out moment.

A new documentary called "Outrage" is apparently going to be naming names, of closeted gay politicians. Now here is where the waters get murky. Politicians have the ability to make or influence law. And if a closeted gay politician is working to pass anti-gay legislation, that's when I say--wholeheartedly--"out them!"

When it comes to Florida Governor Charlie Crist--who is rumored to be outed in the film--I really don't know what to think. I don't know his record on gay rights issues. I guess it's time to study. . .

[Excerpt]

First Look: Kirby Dick’s “Outrage”; New Tribeca Doc Names Names

The current governor of a major U.S. southern state, the campaign manager of a U.S. president, a senior West Coast congressman, a former mayor of New York City, and others are among those outed in Kirby Dick’s “Outrage,” a provocative new documentary debuting tomorrow night at the Tribeca Film Festival. Unseen in its finished form until yesterday, the film is likely to cause waves in political and media circles as word gets out about its subject matter. . .

Read more at: indieWire


Saturday, July 21, 2007

Coming Out Insurance

I need a laugh-break after the last post. This made me laugh. How 'bout you?

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