"Knee Defender" Airplane Device Ignites Air Travel Battle: To Recline or Not?

This cartoon--overstating things a bit--is from Slate.

I've written in this space, recently even, about the extreme divide between Americans, on a variety of subjects. Usually, these battles fall directly along partisan lines, but there's a new one. New to me, anyway. And that is, the subject of whether or not an airline passenger should recline their seat in flight.

This never occurred to me as a "me vs. them" issue. I mean, never. I don't always recline my chair, but I often do. The comfort level increase is marginal, but it's often easier to catch a few Zs, or even get a better vantage point of your electronic device, book or movie from the ever-so-slightly-reclined position. Ellen DeGeneres used to do a bit on the laughable difference between reclined and upright, with a tiny shift of her upper body deciding her fate in an emergency: "[upright] live. . . [slight tilt] die."

The "Knee Defender", Image from USAToday

But, with the news item about a diverted United Airlines flight, sparked by two passengers fighting over leg room (and the use of a "Knee Defender" gadget that locks another passenger's seat upright), two camps have emerged: a) people who think that passengers who recline are unfathomably rude; and b) people who recline, and are mightily pissed that they're being called rude!  The no-recliners claim that the other passenger is invading their space, and the recliners claim that the other passenger is preventing them from using the space they've paid for.

There is no way this is a new issue, but I'll be damned if I've ever heard of it. Certainly, occasionally, a seat will over-recline, and I can see politely asking for someone to adjust a bit. And I'm aware that not everyone is 5' 8" like me, and are more cramped than I am. And I'd get it if I was over-hogging an arm rest, if I were grotesquely obese, and overflowed into another passenger's seat. I'd get it if by reclining my seat, I was doing something that is somehow not allowed, breaking the rules by misusing the seat. But these seats are designed to recline!

You can put me firmly in the "I am inclined to recline" camp. If you ask me nicely, I may accommodate you. If you're rude to me about it? Forget it. I'll wallow in that reclined seat.

[Excerpt]

United flight diverts over 'Knee Defender' fight

On Sunday, a fight between two passengers over personal space, a thrown cup of water and the use of a controversial plastic gadget that prevents airline seats from reclining caused United Airlines Flight 1462 from Newark, N.J., to Denver to divert to Chicago's O'Hare International Airport, the AP reports. . .

Read more at: USAToday

And here is a link to a previous story about the appropriateness of reclining: The Recline and Fall of Western Civilization

Shot-Down Malaysian Plane Held 100 AIDS Researchers

Image from source, CBSNews

Wow. Even if the excerpted article doesn't have the number exactly right, that's just astonishing. 100 top AIDS researchers, enroute to a conference on the disease in Australia, perished when the plane was shot down, as yet by unknown assailants. The attack is of course tragic no matter who the people on the plane were. But for such a large group from one field to be wiped out at once? Tragic, and potentially devastating for the progress in finding a cure.

[Excerpt]

Crash claims top AIDS researchers heading to Melbourne

About 100 of the 298 people killed in the Malaysia Airlines crash were heading to Melbourne for a major AIDS conference, conference attendees have been told. Delegates at a pre-conference in Sydney were told on Friday morning that around 100 medical researchers, health workers and activists were on the plane that went down near the Russia-Ukraine border, including former International AIDS Society president Joep Lange. . .

Read more at: SMH.com.au


[Excerpt]

Malaysia plane victims include infants, AIDS researchers
 
Flight attendant Nur Shazana Mohd Salleh was single but hoping to find love soon. Instead, she was one of nearly 300 people who perished when Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 was shot down in eastern Ukraine. The airline initially said there were 295 people on board the Boeing 777, 280 passengers and 15 crew members. Early Friday, the airline increased the death toll to 298, saying there were three infants on board. . .

Read more (with video) at: CBS News

What Happens in Vegas: Man Stranded at McCarran Airport Makes Hilarious Video

I laughed, and I cried. I've spent a lot of time at that terminal over the years, though never overnight, and I can surely relate to being bored there. But this guy really knows how to cure boredom. But be warned, I found it hilarious, but The Other Half--who actually works out of LAS--was less impressed.

[Excerpt]

Man Trapped Overnight at Vegas Airport Shoots Ridiculous Music Video
 

All by myself from Richard Dunn on Vimeo.

Caught overnight at Las Vegas' McCarran Airport with practically no one else around, Richard Dunn could have taken a cab back to the strip and partied until his flight in the morning. Instead, he whipped out his iPhone and made this gloriously cheesy music video for Celine Dion's 1996 cover of "All By Myself. . ."

Read more at: Gawker

Travelogue Epilogue: Plane-O-Phobia

Image from VillageHiker

They stagger unsteadily to their feet, like newly born deer. Having heard the soft "bong!" they have stirred from their fitful, zombie-like trances. Though they have been roused, they are clearly not fully alert, nor even cognizant of where they are, or what they should be doing. Slowly--oh, so slowly--a dim awareness begins to flicker, sputtering into a vague knowing. As the others in front of them begin to clear a path, these doughy, slovenly creatures start to move. Not with a purpose, not even with an obvious sense of direction. As though a switch has been flipped, each of them--one at a time--has the realization that they did not come to this place without belongings. They sleepily grope around them, tugging blindly at the items surrounding their berths. It is only when the path before them is utterly clear before they even begin to understand what is going on around them.

Image from Wired.

While the more alert of their brethren watch helplessly from behind them, these lummoxes can be seen finally, finally approaching sentience. Suddenly, they remember: "I have a suitcase in the overhead compartment. I should get that now. Wait, I have to put my sweatshirt on first. And where is my scarf? Oh, here it is, okay, now wait. . ." Like a traffic jam correcting itself in agonizingly slow motion, this process repeats for seemingly every person on the plane in front of me. Like the little old lady who extracts her checkbook--her checkbook!--from her purse only after each of her 147 items has been rung up and bagged at the grocery, I have to quietly tolerate my fellow humans.

I will admit to feeling something akin to claustrophobia in these situations. Or, I assume that's what I'm feeling. My traffic and grocery situations are very, very similar, so I might not have it pegged exactly right. In all of these situations, I'm at the mercy of others, and what I perceive to be stupid humans. I try to control my growing rage, every time I have to experience it. In my trip to and from Ohio this time though, I was in the tail end of each of four planes. Big or small, each deplaning was torturous for me. Many others manage to sit patiently while I stand there and stew. Why, oh why, can I be on my feet with all my belongings, ten seconds after the bell, and no one else can?

Al Qaeda US-Bound Plane Bomb Plot Reportedly Foiled

Image from source, Huffington Post

Wow. Score another one for the good guys.

[Excerpt]


Al Qaeda Bomb Plot Against US-Bound Jet Reportedly Foiled

The CIA thwarted an ambitious plot by al-Qaida's affiliate in Yemen to destroy a U.S.-bound airliner using a bomb with a sophisticated new design around the one-year anniversary of the killing of Osama bin Laden, U.S. officials said Monday. The plot involved an upgrade of the underwear bomb that failed to detonate aboard a jetliner over Detroit on Christmas 2009. This new bomb was also designed to be used in a passenger's underwear, but this time al-Qaida developed a more refined detonation system, U.S. officials said. . .

Read more at: Huffington Post

FBI: Suspicious Fliers Were Not 'Making Out'

Helpful tip: don't do a Google
search for "mile high club"
unless you use safe search.
Image from Fiked.

Whew! Well I'll bet you're relieved to learn that! This story morphed from lengthy bathroom visits, to two girls and a guy "making out," to just the two guys gettin' busy. Apparently, they just really, really had to go. In any event, they got a fighter jet escort! Wheee!

[Excerpt]

FBI: Suspicious fliers were not 'making out'
 
It might make a good story, but it appears that none of the three passengers who raised concerns of suspicious activity on a Sunday flight were "making out" in the bathroom.

That's according to FBI Detroit spokeswoman Sandra Berchtold, who tells the Detroit Free Press that none of the passengers using the bathroom went at the same time. . .

Read more at: USAToday

Louie Anderson on Countdown with Keith Olbermann on Airport Security

Please oh please let them scrap the "take off your shoes" policy! I'm already unassembled enough with my belt, watch, wallet, computer, glasses and everything else all in the tray.

Back to Ohio: Travel Day

Today, after a half-day of work, I'll go home, wrap up the packing, and get all set for the airport. We leave in the early evening, but won't arrive in Columbus until after midnight. That means that it is highly unlikely I'll do any blogging today. But you might--if you're lucky--catch an appearance by Stupid Monkey Planet. He'll be dropping in from time to time while I'm away. In the meantime, here's something amusing. . .

 This is from last Friday's Real Time with Bill Maher, and it's pretty great.

United Airlines Computer Crash Grounds Flights

Image from source, Boston.com

As a long-time computer user (is 30 years a long time?) and husband to a United Airlines employee, this story gets me on a couple of levels. I've been affected by (and the occasional cause of) a computer glitch/disaster/Apocalypse at more than one job. But I've never worked for an international company, where a computer crash could affect the lives of thousands of people. Well, except for Bank One for a short patch in the 80s, but we were barely computerized. Shoot, we could use rubber stamps and calculators in a pinch back then.

Anyway, in a typical "checking in" phone call this evening, The Other Half mentioned a computer issue. "Hope it doesn't last too long," he said from his airport location that I was too disinterested/drunk to note. Only later--in fact on the 11:00 news, did I know that this is a worldwide issue with UAL! Holy moley. Though I've got to say, when I see him using his online software, and it is green letters on a black background, with arcane abbreviations. . . I'm not altogether surprised that this ancient system could be prone to glitches. Get home safely, honey!

[Excerpt]

United Airlines: Computers coming back online

Stranded United Airline passengers wait at the United Airlines ticket counter at Denver International Airport Friday, June 17, 2011, in Denver, Co. United Airlines is reporting computer problems that are affecting flights across the United States. On its Twitter page, United reported late Friday the computer outage was interrupting departures, airport processing and reservations. Attempts to access the airline's website are also being stymied. . .

Read more at: Boston.com

Southwest Airlines' Grounds Some of its Fleet of 737s After Hole in Fuselage

Image from Flight Global

When I was dating The Other Half, he'd often try to get me to play "guess that plane." He'd point to the sky and ask me the maker, model and airline of a plane in the sky. Unbeknownst to him, pointing at anything, and asking me to identify it (or even see it) is a Herculean task (just ask my mom). To me, most planes look like amorpheous blobs--silhouettes at best--even if I happen to have my glasses on. But the one I was good at was Southwest Airlines. Though there may be exceptions, nearly all of their planes are Boeing 737s! And they have a distinctive paint job. It was always the one I could get right.

The ubiquity of the 737 in Southwest's fleet is turning out to be a problem, now that a mysterious hole opened up in the roof of one, mid-flight. Fortunately, everyone is okay (though I'll bet there were a lot of emergency changes of pants afterward), and the incident is now less mysterious. But it's causing havoc in airline schedules for the short term.

[Excerpt]

Investigators Find Extensive Cracking on Troubled Southwest Jetliner

Southwest Airlines mechanics were working Sunday to cut out a section of ruptured fuselage from a Boeing 737-300 that was forced to make an emergency landing at a southwestern Arizona military base. . .

Read more (with video) at: AOL News

Next Airplane Trip: Hold Your Breath in the Lavatory!

Image from FlightSchoolList.com

And not for the reason you may be thinking of! No, it would seem that if there's an emergency involving decompression, you will no longer have a functional oxygen supply if you happen to be stuck on the potty. So sad for you. Should've gone when you had the chance.

[Excerpt]

FAA: No more emergency oxygen in airplane lavatories

Citing security concerns, the federal government in secrecy last month ordered every airline in the United States to remove emergency oxygen in every lavatory on all 6,000 domestic commercial aircraft.


Under Air Worthiness Directive 2011-04-09, made public this week, the Federal Aviation Administration directed all airlines to disable the lavatory oxygen generators to "eliminate a potential safety and security vulnerability. . .”

Read more at: MSNBC 

Back to Vegas: Travelogue, Part the Fourth

Here I sit at Port Columbus International Airport (clever name, eh), with quite a bit of time left to kill before my flight. But with 19-degree weather, a bunch of snow on the ground, and much more falling, and a rental car to return, leaving early was a must. My stomach flu is mostly gone, though there are some rumblings of thunder down under to worry about.

At security, I had to first go through the naked porno scanner (arms up! everything out of your pockets?), then the pat-down (we meant everything. Yes, that includes Chap-Stick, tissue and paper money, not just metal!). But there was little to no line, so whatever. If they get their jollies passing around x-rays of this body, more power to 'em.

My appetite has returned, so I got a Chili's-to-Go chicken sammich and a Gatorade (to replenish) for $12 or something, and settled down and a pretty nifty Southwest computer counter. Nice touch that! So, short of a preemptive bathroom run, and maybe another Gatorade to take on the plane, I'm good to go, headed back to balmy (by comparison) Las Vegas!

Many thanks to my good friend Stupid Monkey Planet for filling in. It's good stuff, and this blog can always use a fresh perspective. Not sure how much if anything I'll get posted this evening, but I'll be back on Tuesday for sure.

Travelogue, Part the Third: I've Killed My Parents?

What a trip so far!

First day: arrival and pizza, plus helped prep for the big party..

Second day: picked up The Other Half, helped prep the manse for the big party.

Third day: sickest day of my life. The Other Half works in my stead. Big pizza & beer night w/family sadly spoiled.

Fourth day: sickness continued, party ensued anyway.

Fifth day: Rain turned to snow, briefly to blizzard. Had to take The Other Half to the airport in the worst of it. Sickness abated simultaneously--thank goodness--but I had to resurrect my "driving in snow" skills from 1-1/2 decades ago. Drank a quart of Gatorade, and suddenly feel just fine. Arrive at parents' house after hours driving in snow to find. . .

My parents have the same illness I just climbed out of! Both are solidly down for the count, as is my sister. I have a very small family, but seem to have taken three of them out. Oy. Only one day to go!

Back to Ohio: Day #5 of 6

One day away from the return to Las Vegas. Last night was Mom's big shindig, and it went of fairly without a hitch (but not without Mom yelling at me once). The weather is turning from rain to snow, and from chilly to COLD. The Other Half needs to get home today, so we'll see how that goes. But for now, here's another Holiday Cheer, this time with an edition of Simon's Cat!!!

Travelogue, Part the First

I sit here in the B terminal of McCarran Airport in Las Vegas, awaiting my 10:15 am departure to Columbus, Ohio. As instructed, we arrived 2 hours before departure. Having already printed my ticket at home, I checked my bag with the porter at the curb (2 minutes, max), and shuffled off to the security area.

There was almost no one in line at security, but just before I entered the queue, a Japanese group of at least 10 (with one straggler) edged in ahead of me. They spoke no English. The TSA man checking IDs (completely out of the wallet please) was cheery to the point of mania, singing a happy song, flamboyantly. I mean hello, sister (I've got teh gay, so I can say that). There was also no nekkid scanner for me to go through, no pat downs. One of the Japanese group--an old woman--was pulled for a "random," and one of the men was oblivious to a request for a baggage check.

Anyway, I got through in record time, maybe 10, 15 minutes total? So, I have time to kill. And time to reflect upon the indignities one has to suffer, even with the "basic" TSA procedure.  Here's just what I had to do.

- Manage my coat and computer bag (on wheels).
- Remove my ID and boarding pass, and have them at hand.
- Take off wedding ring, belt, watch, phone, and put them somewhere.
- Take off shoes.
- Waddle to scanning area, where I have to put shoes, coat, all removed items, and removed computer into two bins, plus the bag itself.
- Go through scanner, whilst belongings go through different scanner.
- Wait for belongings whilst TSA agent tries in vain to get Japanese man to answer him.
- Gather two bins and bag, and shamble to a place to put myself back together.
- Put on: wedding ring, belt, watch, phone clip, shoes.
- Put computer back in bag.
- Sigh deeply, and walk to gate.

This is always a bitch, is never elegant or graceful, and though it was quick this time, I hate every second of it. Oh for the porno scanner or the groping by a TSA hottie. That might have balanced things!

100,000 Show Up for 1,000 Delta Airlines Jobs

You know the economy is bad when there are 100 applicants for every job being offered. But it does give Delta Airlines a lot to pick from, letting them weed out any potential slide-pullers from the ranks. And as far as jobs go, you could do a lot worse than flight attendant. I'm married to one, and often lament that I didn't hear about the option on career day. Then again, even with all the travel, and the potential for lots of time off, I'd also have to deal with the public. I don't do the public well. I'd be a slide-puller for sure.

[Excerpt]

Delta Air Lines is Hiring 1,000 New Flight Attendants; More Than 100,000 Applied





Delta Air Lines is having what might possibly be the most-popular job search in a long time: More than 100,000 people have applied for just 1,000 openings as flight attendants. . .
 
Read more at: ABC News

The TSA Explaining Room

Funny!



Found at: AmericaBlog

TSA: No Body Cavity Searches

Yeah, for now. Everyone practice their toe-touches, just in case.

Has the TSA Gone Too Far?

Image from Passport Magazine

I have to fly to Ohio in a few weeks, and so I likely will have the option of either the naked body scan or the full-on groping by the TSA.  I likely will just go through the scanner--though the radiation worries me a bit--but the groping wouldn't bother me. I'm old enough now to have had a doctor staring up my butt, so I don't embarrass easily anymore. But I am a little offended that we must subject ourselves by law to these indignities for the privilege of flying.

It's easy to refer to people who object to these measures as whiners. But are they? I for one loathe being treated as a potential criminal or terrorist. Take for example the practice of many stores that insist upon seeing your receipt before you exit a store. At a Sam's Club or Costco, I get it. It's a club, you're a member, and you play by their rules. But at a Wal-Mart, Best Buy or Fry's? Why do they need to see my receipt, I'm not a thief. I resent being treated as though I might be.

And while I may have no issues being photographed naked, or being fondled by a TSA agent, it is easy to think of scenarios where a person could be traumatized by such a thing. How about a rape victim? An incest survivor? How about a person who has a phobia about being touched? And let's not forget that the cut-off age for the search is twelve years old. That means pre- and current pubescent children are being handled this way. I don't know about you, but I know that I was extremely self-conscious about my body at thirteen years old.

On top of all of this, the procedures themselves aren't even known to be effective. How many potential terrorists have been stopped by the TSA anyway? Wouldn't it be front page news? I know that the dozens of times I've had to remove my belt, shoes, ring, watch and pocket contents have always made me grumble, because it's a pain in the ass, and because I always suspected that it was all theater. Just there to make us feel safe.  Still, some people will insist that it is necessary, and if we want to be safe in flight, we must submit to such indignities.

Hmm. Funny. I live in Las Vegas, tourism capital of the world. We have innumerable targets for destruction here on the ground. If I want to go play the penny slots, should I have to go through a similar procedure at the MGM Grand? How about at Hoover Dam? Disneyland maybe? Are airplanes the terrorists' only targets?

Now that we've acquiesced to this massive change to the security procedures, are we going to stop here? I mean--and I know I'm not the first to posit this--what if a terrorist decides to pack his bomb making materials into his nether regions?  This new procedure was enacted due to the underpants bomber, so I suppose if we get a suppository bomber, we're going to have to bend over and spread 'em? Tell me why that notion would not come to pass, based on what has come before.

The excerpted story below indicates just one horrifying encounter with the new TSA procedures. Another involved a cancer survivor who was forced to present her prosthetic breast to the agent. This procedure is new, and those two examples are likely only the tip of the iceberg.

[Excerpt]

TSA pat-down leaves traveler covered in urine



A retired special education teacher on his way to a wedding in Orlando, Fla., said he was left humiliated, crying and covered with his own urine after an enhanced pat-down by TSA officers recently at Detroit Metropolitan Airport. . .
 
Read more at: MSNBC

Blast from the Past: Old Airline Commercials!

I'm married to a flight attendant, and over the years I've seen quite a few very charming bits of memorabilia from the airline industry. But you almost never see commercials for airlines anymore. Unless you watch business news, they just don't seem to advertise anymore. I'm old enough to remember some of the catchy jingles, so I thought it might make a good entry for Blast from the Past this week. Enjoy.








1. TWA - Remember when they used to feed you during the flight?
2. United Airlines - Fly the friendly skies!
3. Delta Airlines - It sometimes amazes me that some TV shows and movies from this time period (early 80s, in this case) can age fairly well, but that commercials are so incredibly dated.
4. Eastern Airlines - America's favorite way to fly? Apparently not. . .
5. Pan Am - When Pan Am went out of business, it was kind of a shock. There isn't an airline that stands out more in my mind in the 70s.
6. People Express - In the early 80s, this airline was born as a "no frills" bargain flier.
7. American Airlines - "Doing what we do best" is probably my best-remembered airline jingle. I think they were also "something special in the air."
8. National Airlines - Fly me!


Happy Monday everybody!