Much to the chagrin of the "Yes on 8" group of party poopers, The Other Half and I today celebrate our first wedding anniversary. Yes, they may have stopped new same-sex marriages in California--for now--but they did not succeed in annulling the ones that had already happened. A heartfelt and resonant thpppppppp!!! to anyone who voted for Proposition 8, and yes that is a digital raspberry, with a certain recognizable hand gesture for good measure.
That said, it is a strange thing to celebrate our first anniversary when we've actually been together 11-1/2 years now. I suppose it's like those long-co-habitating couples who finally give in to the "why don't you get married?" pressure. Except for us, there was no pressure. There was a limited time-frame, and we knew it. As soon as same-sex marriages were legal in California, we knew it was only a matter of time before the religious right--forgetting the American ideal of separation of church and state--would blow out all the stops to revoke that right. Were we wrong?
As soon as we knew it was going to be legal, we made plans to go to Palm Springs, where a friend lives, and tie the knot. Happily, an "opposite married" couple of long-term friends made the trip with us, turning the trip into a mini-vacation. A good time was had by all, and the vows were exchanged. Photographic evidence exists, but may never be revealed, due to the extra pounds we were both packing last year.
Our marriage holds no official status in our adopted state of Nevada (thanks to a ridiculous, especially in Las Vegas, constitutional amendment). My home state of Ohio has something similar, though The Other Half's home state of Iowa is suddenly much more accommodating. But all of that isn't particularly relevant until DOMA is overturned, and Federal rights are acknowledged. I believe this will happen, though President Obama is being maddeningly inscrutable about it. Meanwhile, we are legally married if we drive 45 minutes to the state line, or should we visit Iowa, Connecticut, Maine (for now), New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts and possibly New York, New Jersey and Washington DC.
And in our hearts, we've been married for a long time anyway. And we won't let constitutional amendments, ignorance, hatefulness, comparisons to polygamy, pedophilia and incest--by citizens, and by the government--change that. Go ahead and put your scare quotes around my "marriage" if it makes you feel better. It won't change a thing.
And honey, I'm sorry this turned into a rant. I don't always know where a piece is going when I start out! Happy anniversary.
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