Fat-burning Pepsi Cola?

I just have one question: does it come in diet? Heh. Anyway, I drink copious amounts of diet sodas by each major maker, Coca-Cola, Pepsico and Doctor Pepper/Seven Up. I've mainlined every known artificial sweetner, and in quantities that have been known to kill, or seriously mess up laboratory rats. What damage could "Pepsi Special" do that hasn't been already done? I'm in!

[Excerpt]

Pepsi Special Sold In Japan Claims To Block Fat

What if you could eat a plate of French fries, loaded with calories, and not absorb the fat because of what you’re drinking. . .

Read more at: CBS Pittsburgh

Disgusting Ads Cross Line Into Self Parody

Since sometime early this year, I have been irritated by all those annoying web ads for whiter teeth and for diet aids. I thought they all started popping up because of new year's resolutions or something. But they never went away. Blubbery people and gross teeth seemed to be popping up everywhere, sometimes (shudder) animated.

But on my most recent visit to The Raw Story, one of my favorite blog/news/forums (or whatever you call that kind of site), there was a cluster of ads for both weight loss and tooth whitening. I've copied the ads here (and presume they won't mind the free advertising). If I didn't know better, I'd assume it was a graphic for an Onion parody.

(Click to embiggen)

Update: The Fat Thing and My Low-Carb Diet

Photo from IMDB.com

From the time before I started this blog until late September of 2008, I was around 180 pounds, a personal worst. I'm 5'8-1/2", and went about 25 years eating absolutely anything I wanted while remaining rail thin. Some time in my late 20s, the weight crept up, and I found it settling about 10 pounds higher per new decade. When I turned 40, I was just off of my (second? third?) Atkins diet, and was at a reasonable weight. But as I slid into 41, there it was, 180 pounds, or there abouts.

In late September last year, I'd had enough, and decided to give the Atkins Diet one more go around. By this time, I'd learned all of the tricks (some of which you can find here), so it wasn't too difficult. Except for the fact that the Atkins craze died about four years ago, and pre-packaged low carb foods are much harder to come by these days.

I got my weight down to a much more reasonable 160 pounds, where it has remained (give or take two or three pounds both ways) since about November. My waist dropped from a 34" to somewhere between 31" and 32." And while it would be nice to see 30" pants again, it will take a heavy exercise program to see that happen, and I haven't gotten the gumption for that quite yet.

Since I've grown to accept that 160 pounds (ish) is my new stable weight if I'm careful, I've loosened up on the diet. Now, once or twice a week (usually on weekends) I'll have a cheat day. Raising Cane's chicken, or Chinese food. Maybe pizza. And then it is right back on the low-carb diet. This has produced no measurable weight gain, and it certainly makes me happier.

I've also gotten creative on the non-cheat days. I thought I'd share a couple of my recipes, in case you're in the same position.

Jamie's Low-Carb Pizza

Pre-heat oven to 410, with pizza pan on the rack, so it gets hot. Get a Mission low-carb flour tortilla. Get the white ones, because they taste a lot closer to the real thing, and don't have the icky Atkins soy-flour aftertaste. Spread a couple of spoonfuls of Ragu (or equivalent) pizza sauce on it, and spread liberal amounts of sliced pepperonis and mozzarella cheese on top. Chop up some pepper rings to put on top, and any other meats you might like. After the oven is hot, take out the pizza pan, and immediately transfer your pizza onto it, and put into the oven. If you have a convection feature, turn it on. Cook until the cheese is bubbly and browning, and you're done. Very tasty, and not far from the real thing.

Jamie's Low-carb Tuna Melt

Follow instructions for the oven and tortilla in the above pizza recipe. Mix tuna, chopped onions, chopped dill pickles and chopped pepper rings with a couple of spoons of mayonnaise. Spread tuna mixture and sharp cheddar cheese onto tortilla, and bake just like the pizza.

Both of these are interesting, and relatively low-carb dinners to jazz up your routine. And while I haven't really done the carb math here, the tortillas are 7 net carbs, and the rest of the ingredients are either carb-free, or pretty low. Enjoy!

One more thing: There are still low-carb Splenda-sweetened ice creams on the market, so check your various grocery stores to see what's available. Blue Bunny makes some fantastic ice cream bars (Sweet Freedom raspberry is like candy), and there is also "Watch N Carbs" and a few others. You can also find sugar-free chocolate syrup, and add dry roasted peanuts if you like a little salty and sweet. There used to be (much) more, but there are still enough varieties to save my sanity.

The Weight Thing; Revisited, Surviving the Atkins Diet

Photo from IMDB.com

Back in the early days of my blog, I lamented about "the weight thing," the sad reality that past 40, your metabolism just tends to slow down. In my 20s, my weight stabilized on its own at about 145 pounds, regardless of exercise or diet. In my 30s, the median weight range hovered between 155 and 160 without effort, and could be brought down to the 145 range or so with effort. After 40 (when I was thin after an Atkins diet crash course), I found that no diet and limited exercise put me around 170 or more if I didn't watch things.

So after a year of accepting my new found "stable" weight--170-180--I finally got sick of it. I went back on the Atkins Diet on September 29, for one more try at getting to a reasonable weight for my 5' 8½" frame (don't forget the one half!). My weight on that date was 180, a personal worst. My weight tends to center on my stomach (exacerbated by a rib cage that makes me look fat when I'm not), my face (big, fat, pumpkin head), and my butt (jeans strain at the ol' po-po). My legs, chest and arms tend to remain skinny.

But I found that starting the Atkins Diet in 2008 is a wholly different thing than it was three or four years ago. The diet has fallen out of "fad" status, and all of those wonderful low or no-carb diet foods are often unavailable. So, you have to remember what you ate years ago, when it worked, and improvise a little.

Here are some tips, if you're starting Atkins in a time when the market is unfriendly to it.

- Pepperoni and cheese. If you have a Sam's Club or Costco membership, you're in luck. You can buy "pillow packs" of pepperoni, and resealable bags of cheese cubes in various varieties. Another cool one is the little Vienna-sized beef sticks in a resealable bag. These are great for snacks. But you might want to freeze half when you first buy them so that they don't go bad on you. Pepperonis are good out of the bag, but try microwaving them (on a bed of paper towels) to give them some more flavor, and less fat.

- Pickles, lettuce and green beans - One of the stern warnings that you will get from friends, is the lack of fruits and vegetables on Atkins (at least in the first two or three induction weeks). Buy light green lettuces, green beans and dill pickles (sliced or spears). All are low in carbs, and with green beans, the fiber cancels out many of the carbs. Asparagus is good too, but just eat a few spears at a time.

- Sugar-free Jello and Heavy Whipping Cream - Throw some heavy whipping cream, Splenda and vanilla into a bowl, and whip it to a froth. Put it on sugar-free Jello, and you will have a tasty diversion from the mediocrity of the diet.

- Low-carb Ice Cream - When Atkins was still a fad, you could find myriad examples of delicious ice cream from many vendors. A few years ago, Blue Bunny's low-carb ice cream was a prime example of how I survived the diet and lost 23 pounds. Blue Bunny is, unfortunately now, out of the game. But try all of your local grocery stores until you find some low-carb ice cream. Vons (Safeway) has their own brand, and it's good.

- Sunflower Kernels - Planters used to have a great dry roasted sunflower seed kernel product, but I can't find it anymore. David's still has one. Remember, you can subtract fiber grams from carbohydrate grams.

- Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Sausages, Steaks and Chicken Breasts - Often, I will grill up a whole mess of these items at once, and package them into lunches and dinners for the week. Have them with a side of salad, green beans, broccoli or pickles with no bread or other starches. Put bacon on the hamburgers. In fact. . .

- Put bacon on everything - Bacon is totally allowed, and a good add to chicken salad, egg salad, tuna salad, hamburgers, etc. You can buy it at the wholesale clubs in strips or crumbled, already cooked.

- Breakfast is easy - If you're anything like me, you can eat eggs and breakfast meats every day and not get tired of it. Eggs can be cooked many ways, and breakfast meats like bacon, sausage, ham steaks, etc. are all on the menu. You can buy pre-cooked egg patties and sausage patties in bags at Wal-Mart. 1 or 2 carbs total. A life saver.

- Meatballs - Meatballs generally contain breading. But I've found that the frozen variety from Sam's Club can allow me 10 or so meatballs (along with some green beans) for a meal, and not put me over my carbs for the day. And they are delicious. Find a low-carb tomato sauce for them if you want.

- Cream Cheese and Meat Roll-ups - Spread a thin layer of cream cheese mixed with chives on a piece of lunch meat (check the carbs first) and roll 'em up. Great snack. As is cream cheese on celery stalks. Peanut butter in small amounts on celery works too.

- Spices and Marinades Help - The biggest issue on Atkins is boredom. You don't really get hungry, because you don't really have to watch portions. So try some lemon pepper, some marinades (check carbs first, but remember that some burn off on the grill), cumin, chives, onion powder, garlic, etc., on your steaks or chicken breasts. Lemon pepper on sirloin steak is outstanding.

- Lettuce or low-carb tortillas - I'm a big starch fan, but even if I wasn't, one of the hard things about Atkins is, what do you put your food on? With a normal diet, you have bread or crackers or tortillas to put your meats, cheeses and vegetables on. With all starches out, what do you do? What I did was buy large bags of Romaine lettuce hearts, and use them as wraps. Also, after the first two weeks, find some low-carb tortillas (5g of net carbs) for a one-time per day sandwich. Load it up with ham, turkey, cheese, bacon. BACON!!! Use mayonnaise (full fat) or ranch dressing (just a touch), and you have a great sandwich.

- Salad dressings - If you shop around just a little, you'll find the low-carbiest salad dressings. They're good for salads, sure, but also good for marinades, and ranch is good (in small doses) to add a little kick to chicken salad, tuna salad, and egg salad. Also, all three of those salads can be done in combination--throw some mustard in the tuna salad, throw some eggs into the chicken salad. And don't forget the bacon!

All of these things have helped me get through this diet. You might wonder if I've tried this diet and am fat again, why I'd do it all over? Because it generally works. The first time I tried Atkins, I weighed around 160, and I lost 13 pounds, got thin enough and quit. The second time, maybe a year later, I'd gained back, tried again, failed, and quit again--but to be honest, I didn't try very hard. The third time, I was up to 170 pounds, lost 33, and quit again. But this time, I was careful, and actually kept most of the weight off for 18 months.

We Americans can tend to be lazy and spoiled, so after I turned 40, I threw caution to the wind. That landed me at 42 and 180 pounds. Way too much. So this time--inspired by my friend John, who has lost 30 pounds--after just under four weeks, I've lost 12 pounds or so, back in the high 160s, and energized. I'm not exercising enough yet, but intend to, and have no intention of cheating on the diet yet.

Keep in mind that the first 7-10 days, if you stick to 20 carbs per day or less, you will lose a huge amount of weight, maybe 8, 10 or more pounds. This will excite you! But then, on your daily weigh-ins, you'll get stuck. Maybe for two, even three weeks. But your weight will likely not fluctuate more than two or three pounds. Do NOT get discouraged! Keep at it. The weight has to come off eventually. Your body is burning fat, so even if the weight sticks around for a while, you'll feel your clothes fitting better. People will comment on your weight loss. Just keep at it.

And I've found in the past, that if you really plateau, and can't lose another pound, try this: schedule a "pig out" day. Eat whatever you want all day long. Then, the next day, start the induction diet again, strictly. Stay on it with no variation for two weeks. If you're like me, you'll have another dramatic drop-off.

Behind the Blogger, Part Eight: The Weight Thing

From time to time, I've been posting a few personal posts here, giving a little background on me, the editor. This one is my least favorite.

I posted earlier about a minor medical issue (Sicko! This Time it's Personal). This little event brought up a bigger one. You see, a nurse forced me to step on the scale, giving me a startling revelation. I'm not just festively plump, or carrying a little extra weight, I'm FAT.

Photo from IMDB.com

The damned thing told me I weighed 180 pounds. A personal worst. At 5' 8½" (don't forget the half!), any weight chart will tell you that sneaks right up on obese. Good grief. Now, to be fair, I had all of my personal possessions on me at the time, my clothes, shoes, glasses, phone, wallet, keys, paperwork, money, watch. I didn't have the luxury of wearing my lightest clothes, and going pee before my weigh-in.

But I figure at most that covers 5 or 6 pounds (and that figure may be wishful thinking). That still puts me at fat. My normal weight--meaning when I wasn't watching it, ate anything I wanted, and wasn't exercising--used to hover between 150 and 155. I guess now that I'm 41, that figure has floated upward.

Unfortunately, since they put me on Cipro, I'm advised not to exercise! How 'bout that, an excuse not to exercise when I need it the most! So, after the Cipro is gone, I've got to get serious. Apparently, exercise while on Cipro can lead to tendons suddenly detaching. Yikes!

So, what to do? I could try Atkins--it's worked in the past--but the "low carb" food items have disappeared as the diet has lost favor. I intend to get back to the gym, but I fear that this time it is going to take more than that.

And what better time to start dieting than leading into the Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's rush that the calendar is going to thrust upon us (faster than we'd think)? So here we go on the dieting yo-yo.