The Fat Thing Revisited for the Last Time. . .Again.



This is a re-working of a post I wrote a couple of years ago, on my last cycle of dieting. In the time since, I maintained the weight loss for a good long time, at least nine months. Weight gain crept up a little after that, but not much. Since I'd gotten well below the "overweight" line, I really did have some wiggle-room built in.

Though I got interrupted a few times, I pretty much kept to Atkins, and continued to exercise several times a week.  A year after losing over 30 pounds, I was still down over 20. Not great, but not fat. Over the next eight months or so, I wandered up another five, and that put me right at the edge of normal/overweight. From September of last year to now, I've had a series of de-railing events from the flu, to Thanksgiving, to a stomach ailment, to vacations to Oregon and Iowa, and of course Christmas and New Year's. Well, that did it. After more than two years, I'm right back at square one. And that means 180-182ish (my scale is kind of flaky). And since I'm back at square one, here's that original post, which was written in May of 2011, a false-start of sorts. Though it began a period of very regular exercise, I didn't couple it with a diet, and so my real weight loss didn't begin until September of that year. From May, 2011, with updates:

In a fair and just world, this would be my "before" and "after"
pictures. Though I think I do look better than Ryan
Reynolds in a fat suit. Not saying I do, I just think I do.

Have you ever met someone who is so good looking, they're almost intimidating? I'm not talking about sexual attraction (though I wouldn't rule it out), I just mean that they're so attractive, it's inescapable. There was a client who comes into our office from time to time who meets that description. He's dark haired, blue eyed, and has an intense gaze. He has the look of a superhero, like Superman or Captain Marvel. He's got this reputation of a real womanizer, and I'm really not surprised about that. The first couple of times I saw him, in addition to taking all that in, I did notice that he was carrying 15-20 pounds around the middle that he could stand to lose. But the way he looked, he really pulled it off.

The next few times I saw him, I thought he probably should lay off the pizza and beer, because his 15-20 pounds had grown up to a good 30 or so. And the last time I saw him, he was pushing 45-50 more than he should. Only now, he's been carrying extra weight long enough, his hands and face are getting plump, along with the belly. Suddenly, he's not so intimidating anymore. Now, he's just starting to look like the rest of us! And I'm beginning to realize that if I could stand to lose 30 pounds, my estimates of him and others just might be low-balled quite a bit.

At the age of 47, I find that without a great deal of effort, I quickly and easily go down the same road. I've gotten an unfortunate blend of genes from my family: skinny genes and weight gain genes. If that seems like a contradiction, it's really not. I grew up a bean pole, literally able to eat as much and as often as I wanted, and never gained an an ounce. As I've segued from decade to decade, the metabolism has slowed down, and my "idle" weight has increased incrementally. I'm still a beanpole, with skinny arms, skinny legs, small chest and shoulders. But I've got the beans now too, with fat collecting around the stomach, butt and face. If I'm not dieting and exercising regularly, I get fat in those areas, and quickly.

At 20, my idle weight was 140. At 30, it was up to 150. At 40, It could be from 160-170, and now at 47? 180-and up. Seriously. I don't have to eat a lot, I just have to eat normally and not exercise, and boom, tubbo. And like the good looking guy I mentioned, if I stay fat long enough, my hands get fat enough to change ring sizes, and my face--where the weight goes first, and leaves last--gets rounder, and rounder. My friends and family (except for my brutally honest mother) always say, "you're not fat," or "you don't need to diet." But I know better.
Probably not for the last time (but who really knows), I'm hitting the Atkins Diet and the exercise again. Last time, I'd tipped the scales at about 185 (I didn't really want to know), with only a couple of pairs of pants fitting. For a guy who wore a 28" waist in college, growing out of 34"s is just embarrassing. So, I'm back to the gym, and/or walking 4 miles, and as in the past, I'll be doing that 5-7 days per week. I'm back on the low-carb diet, being careful to stay in the 20-grams-of-carbs range, and also trying not to do the low-carb treats, or overdo portion sizes. I've got a ways to go, but I'm already down a few pounds, and I just really started again on Thursday. It comes off a lot more slowly than it goes on, as everyone knows.  I doubt I'll ever get down to 140 pounds again without a horrifying disease, but I will get down to less than clinically overweight, which for me is about 165. And though I'll never be so good looking that I'm intimidating, I'm kind of doubting that the guy in my example will again, either!

Here's hoping that it works as it has in the past, and that I can increase the time I keep it off, so that I don't have to start over again for quite some time. If you are starting a similar plan, I'm pulling for you! I'll publish updates, and will be republishing a bunch of Atkins recipes in the next few weeks, along with any new ones I discover or invent. Here's to the un-fattening!

A Low-Carb Diet Success Story (and Survival Guide)

This week will mark 6 months of successful maintenance on my own modified version of the Atkins diet. I call this a success story because I intend to prolong that six months, and have already met the challenge of encroaching weight. Let me explain.

Don't let this happen to you!

This was (at least) my sixth go-around of low-carb dieting. Of those six, only four--counting this time--were successful. But the mere fact that I'm on it again is a testament to the curse of most any diet: falling off the wagon. The weight returns faster than it comes off, as almost everybody knows. And after you hit a certain weight in the wrong direction, our response is often, "Oh, what difference does it make now?" That kind of attitude can cause an even bigger problem, pun intended. It seems that each time we fall off a diet, our "ceiling weight" goes up. I found after my last backslide that I couldn't even exercise the weight off without also dieting. My 5' 8+" body was finally pushing the scales past 180 lbs. And with my endomorphic frame, that just didn't work. If I stay at that weight long enough, it spreads around to my face, my legs, even my fingers.

School cafeteria Ranch Burgers
made on low-carb bread.

It's not a good look for me. So, last September 6, I decided I was going low-carb again, and this time I approached it with the same fervency that I gave quitting smoking: no excuses. I kept my carbohydrate intake at no more than 20-25 carbs at all times. By late October, I had shed 25 pounds. And by Thanksgiving--11 weeks after I started--I was down to 150, which is at least 30 pounds, possibly a little past that. Since then, I haven't ever gotten heavier than 154 (briefly), or lower than 147. My high school weight of 140 does seem out of reach, so I've given away all of my sub-32" waisted pants, and all of the over-33" ones!

Cheesy Faux Potato Bake.
We're almost never without it.

I've instituted and rule, a rule that is certainly not as challenging as "no more cigarettes." That rule is, if the scale even approaches 155 (a weight which I thought was "heavy" when I was in my 20s), I step up the diet and exercise. An addendum to the rule is that if I've maintained 150 or lower for a couple of weeks, I can have a cheat day. More on that in a minute. And so far, it has worked. Barring a catastrophic event in my life or my family, I intend to keep these rules. My goals are now at monthly intervals. I'm shooting for a year. And I'll take it six months at a time like that until this is just life for me. After all of these tries at the diet, I feel like I'm finally in a pattern that works. So, here are some of the things that have helped me keep the weight off, if you're trying the diet too.

• Start the diet by ridding your house of snack foods, and most any tempting high carbohydrate product.
• Be on the lookout for carbs/sugars in things that don't seem like they'd have much (they put high-fructose corn syrup in everything these days, even some "diet" items).
• Be wary of "serving sizes" of even low-carb foods. Sometimes a tiny package will claim it has seven servings.
• Remember that you can subtract fiber grams from carb grams to get your "net carb" number. If the food has a lot of fiber, it will cancel out and equal number of carb grams.

Cauliflower Faux Fried Rice &
Stir Fry. Amazingly good.

• Stock up on diet friendly items that can relieve any suffering you might be having on this restrictive diet, such as:

• Pepperoni slices (which you can microwave on paper towels, if you're scared of all that fat)
• Cheese in cubes, slices, bricks. There are some carbs in some cheeses, but most are very low.
• Eggs. Buy the 60-egg flat at Sam's or Costco. Eggs are a wonderful meal any time in many varities, and can be used in egg salad, chicken salad, tuna salad, and on and on. Bacon is also good in all of those salads!
• Dill pickles, in full, spears, hamburger slices or gherkins.
• Cauliflower, radishes, turnips, lettuce, green onion, green beans, broccoli. Turnips and cauliflower can often be used as a substitute for potatoes, in roasts and bakes.
• Butter, for recipes.
• Bacon, cook your own, pre-cooked and/or crumbled (for countless recipes).
• Hamburger patties.
• Hot dogs, bratwurst, sausages (just check carb counts first).
• Meat, from roasts, to pork loin, to London broil, to steaks. Prepare a lot on the weekend, and package lunches or freeze portions for later.
• Seafood, if you dig it (I don't).
• Flax meal, if you're a baker. There are countless recipes for breads, muffins, pizza dough etc. online.
• Powdered diet drink mixes (check the label).
• Atkins diet bars and drinks (but more about sugar alcohols below).
• Mission brand low-carb white tortillas (all other low-carb tortillas I've tried tasted awful. These are good!).
• Chicken wings. Read nutritional info to be sure of the carbs. I love Tyson tequila lime, and I sprinkle some Cajun seasoning on them, and cook them longer so they're crispy.
• Kroger brand (also Ralphs, Smith's, etc.) Carb Masters yogurt. 4 carbs each, and delicious! 
• Beef jerky, but check the ingredients. Jack Links Original has only 3 cars each.
• Ingredients for homemade soups. You can make chicken or hamburger soups that are delicious and low-carb, and use egg drop for noodles! See here.

Pizza on a flaxseed crust. Tastier the
second day. Personal pizzas on
Mission low carb tortillas are better.

There are a few items that only certain people on a low-carb diet can eat and drink without disrupting their diets. I'm one of the lucky ones who can have everything in this list (don't hate me because my digestive system is efficient!). So if you have any of these things, add them a little ways into your diet, and see if they make you stop losing, or actually gaining:

• Nuts, particularly peanuts and almonds. My favorites are dry roasted peanuts, and smoked almonds.
• Alcohol, like vodka, whiskey. Red wine doesn't seem to hurt my diet either. Low-carb beers in moderation are also okay. Probably should avoid all alcohol in the first two weeks. Watch out for sweet liquors or flavored rums too.
• Caffeine. Dr. Atkins said no, I said, "Screw you, Dr. Atkins, you're dead!" And I've had no issue.
• Diet soda. Many people are concerned about artificial sweeteners, their affect on the body, on hunger levels, and whether they are safe. I figure I've been drinking them since the 80s. If they're gonna kill me, they're gonna kill me. And can they really be worse than high-fructose corn syrup? I drink it like a fish, and I still lost 30 pounds.
• Diet ice creams and other treats (like Atkins bars and drinks). In these items, you start with the carbohydrate grams, subtract fiber grams, and also subtract sugar alcohol grams. This is sort of controversial, and apparently doesn't work for everybody. But it works for me, yay!

Flaxseed focaccia cheesy bread.
Not outstanding, but pretty good.

My saving grace this go-around has been the internet. Since the low-carb diet craze faded, and people moved to other things, there are fewer companies making low-carb items. So getting some recipes was essential. In addition to recipes I've invented myself, I've got quite a variety of things I can eat without getting bored. I have highlighted several of those recipes on this blog in the past, and if you go to this post, it will link to others, which will link to others. . . My favorites are the Faux Cheesy Potato Bake, the Cauliflower faux fried rice, and the Low-carb Pizza (both on Mission tortillas and on Flax crust). And if you don't find what you're looking for within those links, or the ones below this post, you can type, "low carb," "Atkins" or "cauliflower" into the search box at the upper left of this page for more targeted searching. Feel free to write me for advice or questions!

Now, about the cheat days. There are two types. The first is a scheduled "anything goes" day. This is particularly good for big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, or littler ones like birthdays and summer cookouts. If you've been really good for a while, hit a personal goal, etc., go ahead and splurge. Even turn it into a weekend if you want. Then go back on the diet and exercise full-bore following your scheduled "time out." The worst damage you're going to do is a couple of pounds, and the cheat--for me anyway--often seems to jump-start the diet. The second type of cheat is to use carb blockers, like Carb Intercept, which is available at Wal-mart and other stores, or can be bought cheaper online. Now, I have no idea about the science behind this product, but it allegedly prevents the absorption of carbohydrates by the body. I don't even care if it's a placebo (don't tell me!), because it seems to work. I take these on days where it is difficult to avoid carbs (popcorn at the movies, special events), when I'm not looking to jump start, not looking to go nuts. I still try to limit these events. But "cheat days" overall can save your sanity. Let's be honest, can you give up potatoes, rice, bread, cake and cookies for the entirety of the rest of your life?

PS. I should note that The Other Half--who had gained quite a bit of weight over the past 10 years decided to join me on the diet this time around, after saying "it doesn't work for him." This time, he stuck to it, and it did work. He's lost over 50 pounds! And he started in October.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention that I exercise 5-7 days per week, most weeks. And by exercise, I usually walk 4 miles, or about 45 minutes on the treadmill. If I do it at the gym, I follow with a little swimming. I really ought to do more at the gym, but suiting up to just go walking is so much easier and less time intensive!

Chris Christie Takes Israel

Favorite quote from Wonkette comments section: "Whaling Wall?"--Extemporanus

It has been some time now since there were rumblings of a Chris Christie for president movement. And we can't mention Christie and rumblings in the same sentence together (or a host of other words) without stumbling into a discussion of his weight. That's because Christie isn't merely overweight. Hell, I've been overweight. Rick (don't Google me) Santorum is overweight, but nobody noticed until the unflattering swimsuit photo. It isn't because Christie is fat. Newt Gingrich is fat, but it is several steps down the list of negative things about him.

No, Christie is morbidly obese. And I find it peculiar that a person so heavily (there I go again) in the public eye, for so long, hasn't done something about it by now. Surely he has a gym at his disposal. Surely he also has access to nutritionists, personal trainers, lap band surgery. . .I'm just saying, he knows he's really big, he's acknowledged he really needs to lose weight. But these long months after he was prominently thrust into the public consciousness, he's as big--and on display--as ever. So, pardon me if I don't believe any of the Christie for VP rumors.

Or, maybe Christie is counting on a constantly growing America to see him as one of their own? I doubt it. I really don't think that America will vote for an extremely overweight president.

[Excerpt]


Chris Christie Does Jerusalem: Vacation Pix!

The Good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, is in Israel, on his first official overseas trip as head of an American state. (He’s making up for President Obama, who refuses to visit Israel because he Hates Jews.) How many unionized public school teachers will he yell at on YouTube while there? We await the final tally. Until then, let’s check out some photos from his visit to the Western Wall. . .

Read more at: Wonkette

Blast from the Past: Diet Commercials

I was having trouble coming up with an idea for this week's Blast from the Past, and then my stomach grumbled. As I just posted a while ago, I made flaxseed-based pizza and focaccia low carb food this afternoon, as part of my continuing Atkins diet. Atkins was once a "fad" diet, so popular for a while, damage was even done to bakeries financially, in 2004. But there have been a lot of diets over the years. Let's see how many I can find. . .




1. Ah yes, the AYDS diet plan. As the title card says, it is perhaps the most unfortunately named product, ever.
2. The Hollywood 48 Hour Miracle diet is more recent, but the fad never got as big as Atkins.




3. Nutri/System is still around of course, but it's been around for a long time. The makers were brilliant in that the diet requires you to eat their food!
4. Jenny Craig is still around too, but she used to do her own commercials.




5. Weight Watchers is the grand dame of diet plans, so using the late Lynn Redgrave as a spokesperson was spot on.
6. South Beach Diet was a smaller, but still popular diet around the peak of Atkins.




7. Formula 75 Diet Plan is one I don't remember. But I'd say that since we've never heard of it, it must not have worked very well.
8. Deal A Meal had to be included, didn't it? How could I leave out Richard Simmons?

Okay, so maybe that wasn't my most scintillating edition of Blast from the Past. But it is interesting to see which of these diets have staying power. That's it for me for now. Happy Monday, and have a great week, everybody!

Another Low Carb Pizza, Plus Focaccia!

My latest pizza with golden flaxseed.  Oh, and
I put sesame seeds around the edge. Click to embiggen.

Today, while out shopping, I decided to buy a bag of golden flaxseed meal, from Bob's Red Mill.  I've used a lot of flaxseed meal since I started my most recent go-around with the Atkins Diet, but never the golden. Flax as a baking material is borderline passable.  You can make muffins that are adequate and breads that are functional. Notice, I didn't say delicious. Flax has a strong, but not unpleasant taste, so flavorings like garlic or chocolate have difficulty breaking through. When I've made pumpkin muffins, for instance, I've had to double the amount of spices I might put in a pumpkin pie. And they still taste of flax.

All of that said, I've come to enjoy products made with flax. Like I said, they're not unpleasant, they're just not delicious. So I decided to try the golden flax meal this time, to see if the flavor is better. You know what? It is. It's better. It's still flax, but it's better. So, if you try the recipe below, keep in mind that golden flax looks more like real pizza crust, and tastes a little milder than brown flax. I should note: this pizza does taste better as a leftover, I've found, than it does on the first day. I don't know why.

Re-reading this, I think I've heaped a little too much warning onto this recipe, as though you'll barely be able to stomach this pizza. Not true! It's actually quite good, especially if you're stuck in Atkins, and desperately want some pizza! The crust will not fool you, but neither will it terrify you!

LOW CARB FLAXSEED CRUST PIZZA

Brown Flax Crust. Click to embiggen.

Ingredients:

• 1 and 1/2 C flax seed meal
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon oregano
• Sweetener to equal about 1 Tablespoon of sugar
• 3 Tablespoons of oil
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 C water

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 425 F.

1. Mix dry ingredients together.
2. Add wet ingredients, and mix very well.
3. Let sit for about 5 minutes to thicken.
4. Spread on pan (I put it on a silicon mat or greased parchment paper).
5. Bake for 15-18 minutes until cooked through, then add toppings* and cook until they are done.

Nutritional Analysis: Whole crust has 7 grams of effective carbohydrate, plus 52 grams fiber, 47 grams protein, 130 grams healthy fat, and 1525 calories.

SOURCE: About.com

*My toppings included Kroger pizza sauce (not too much, just enough to spread around), pepperoni (two layers!), plenty of shredded mozzarella, a little shredded sharp cheddar, some shredded ham, crumbled bacon and more pepperoncini slices. My cook time after adding the toppings was about 15 minutes, with the convection on.

LOW CARB FLAXSEED FOCACCIA BREAD

Ingredients:

My focaccia, sliced & plated.  Also using the golden flax.
Click to embiggen.

• 2 cups flax seed meal
• 1 Tablespoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1-2 Tablespoons sugar equivalent from artificial sweetener
• 5 beaten eggs
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/3 cup oil

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Prepare pan (a 10X15 pan with sides works best) with oiled parchment paper or a silicone mat.

1) Mix dry ingredients well -- a whisk works well.

2) Add wet to dry, and combine well. Make sure there aren't obvious strings of egg white hanging out in the batter.

3) Let batter set for 2 to 3 minutes to thicken up some (leave it too long and it gets past the point where it's easy to spread.)

4) Pour batter onto pan. Because it's going to tend to mound in the middle, you'll get a more even thickness if you spread it away from the center somewhat, in roughly a rectangle an inch or two from the sides of the pan (you can go all the way to the edge, but it will be thinner).

5) Bake for about 20 minutes, until it springs back when you touch the top and/or is visibly browning even more than flax already is.

6) Cool and cut into whatever size slices you want. You don't need a sharp knife; I usually just cut it with a spatula.

Nutritional Information: Each of 12 servings has less than a gram of effective carbohydrate (.7 grams to be exact) plus 5 grams fiber, 6 grams protein, and 185 calories.

SOURCE: About.com

Note: I put some sharp cheddar on top, and stirred in some garlic powder, to make this more interesting.

Atkins Diet Idea: Faux Potatoes for Breakfast!

If you've ever tried the Atkins Diet, you know that boredom and cravings are the biggest reasons for falling off of it. In fact, one of the reasons that Atkins doesn't rank higher is that there is big weight loss, then people stop the diet and get fat again. Maintenance is the issue, and I've found some workarounds for that.

I like my cheese browned to crunchy goodness, so
I use the convection fan on mine. You don't have to.

Chief in importance for me are scheduled "diet breaks." Those are interludes in the diet, of a pre-set duration. When I've plateaued, but still wanted to lose more, I'll schedule a cheat day. Maybe a 2-day cheat, with the certainty that I'd begin the induction phase of Atkins again the following day. Typically, at worst you gain a pound or two, and you kick-start the diet, and start losing again. For my Christmas vacation, The Other Half and I actually took a rare cheat week, from Christmas Eve to the following week. The damage for me? Four or five pounds, which I've lost in the next eight days!

So, that is one way to keep on track, and even goose the diet into helping you lose weight.  Another is to find recipes that are not only on the diet, but delicious. I've presented several here on the blog, and you can find ideas and links to ideas here. Included there, you will find a link for my recipe for Cheesy Baked Faux Potato Casserole. It is made from cauliflower, but even a cauliflower hater will like it. I know this, because I taste tested it on a cauliflower hater (Hi, Les!). 

But, even though I've posted this recipe several times, I'm doing so again for a reason. See, on Atkins, one of the easiest meals is breakfast. Eggs--even omelets made with most common ingredients--are completely on the menu. Bacon, sausage, bacon, ham, bacon, steak and bacon are all on the menu! So that part is easy. But if you're like me, you like some carbs with breakfast too. Toast can be handled with this recipe for flaxseed focaccia bread, which isn't delicious, but is also inoffensive (which you can't say about many other bread substitutes). I've dressed up the recipe with garlic powder and cheese to make it tastier, and it makes a fine yolk-scooping substance! But you know what else is missing? Potatoes. Potatoes, rice and bread are all verboten on a low-carb diet, and I love them all. Bread I've covered. Rice is also taken care of in that link I gave you above, but here it is again.

Well, as it turns out, my Cheesy Baked Faux Potato Casserole? It makes a hell of an addition to breakfast. When we make it (and we're rarely without it), whether in single or double batch, there will always be leftovers in the fridge. Take a scoop of that and warm it up with your bacon and eggs, and you'll swear you're eating potatoes, especially from leftovers, when all the flavors have had time to settle. With this tip, and those linked above, I hope I've helped you stick to the low-carb diet. And I'm always looking for more ideas, so please let me know if you've got more! Thanks for reading.

BAKED CHEESY MASHED FAUXTATOES

1 large head of cauliflower
4 oz. cream cheese
2 Tbsp. butter
1/2-cup sour cream (or chip dip of our choice!)
1/4-cup grated Parmesan (or mozzarella, or other cheese)
Bacon bits (real ones!)
Chopped green onion, chives or sauteed white onions (to taste)
1 cup grated cheddar
Salt and pepper to taste (optional)
Garlic (optional)
Dollop heavy whipping cream (optional) 

(Extra butter, cream cheese, sour cream, whipping cream, Parmesan and cheddar cheeses, and bacon will only make this better. Use your own discretion.)

Steam cauliflower until it is soft and mushy. Mash it. Put butter and cream cheese into mixing bowl. Put hot mashed cauliflower in bowl to melt the butter and cream cheese. Put in all other ingredients except for cheddar (and save a little bacon for later), and stir it all up. Put the mixture into an 8" x 8" baking pan. Sprinkle shredded cheddar on top, along with some of the bacon. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes.

I found this at (of all places) a body building site. But who cares, it's great!

Source: forum.bodybuilding.com

Low Carb Recipe: Curry Cauliflower "Rice"

I'm just past two months on this round of Atkins, and have lost about 25 pounds, with my starting weight being at or above 180. Two things have helped me achieve success this time: 1) I convinced The Other Half to join me a few weeks ago, and 2) I've gotten far more creative with my menu.

I covered a few of my new dishes earlier, and you can find them (and other links to yet more ideas) here.

This particular recipe is easier than most, and quite delicious.


CURRIED CAULIFLOWER FAUX "RICE"


1 medium-to-large head of cauliflower
4 tsp. curry powder
Green onions
Olive oil
3 cloves crushed garlic (or equivalent)
Cubed ham, beef, chicken or other meat (optional)


With a food processor or cheese grater, grate cauliflower head into rice-sized pieces, and set aside. Dice green onions (as many as you want), and sautee with garlic in olive oil in a large skillet. If you're using meat (or tofu, I suppose), cube or shred it, and put into skillet with the already cooking onions and garlic. If your meat is already cooked, go to the next step. If not, stir the meat with the onions and garlic until it is cooked. Then, pour in your riced cauliflower. Keep the skillet hot from the sautee, and just keep stirring the cauliflower together with the other ingredients, until it starts getting soft. Stir in curry powder, making sure it gets equally distributed. Continue to cook, taking a taste-test to see if it's ready. My skillet time was about 20 minutes on a big burner. It's doubtful that you'll over-cook it, so just cook it until it tastes ready.


This new cauliflower dish is one of many (again, more here), and isn't the last I'll try. For the Atkins dieter, you get to eat something that will more than pass for a rice dish. It's as good as the rice dish. The Other Half said, "We're going to have to add this to our regular dishes." It's that good. Enjoy!

Low Carb Corner: Cheesy Baked Fauxtatoes

I'm in the induction stage of the Atkins Diet again. The good news is that I've already lost 7 or 8 pounds. The bad news is that I was all the way back up to 180 pounds. Which really doesn't work on my 5' 8-1/2" body. Last time I did Atkins--I mean, really did it--I lost 23 pounds, and except for a nagging 8 pounds, I kept it off for a long time. But apparently eating normal food, even while exercising makes me a chubbo. Nice, right?

So, it's back to Atkins. But with a lot of "tries" behind me, I know how boring the diet can get. And unlike 5 or 6 years ago, there aren't a lot of people in the "low carb" business anymore. So this time, I'm looking for recipes. I already know that things like radishes and cauliflower are very low in carbs. But what can I do with them that I haven't tried?

Turns out, Google is the low-carbohydrate dieter's best friend. I haven't played around with the radishes much, except for one easy try:


BAKED RADISHES

Wash, trim and quarter your radishes. Toss them with olive oil, butter, sea salt and pepper. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes, or until they pass the baked potato test. You don't really want them firm.

Yummy, but I'm in need of something a little more flavorful. I've already tried "mashed fauxtatoes" made with cauliflower. With that, you just steam the cauliflower and mash it, maybe adding some butter, some chicken bullion, spices. . .something to improve the "meh" flavor of cauliflower (which I've always thought was better raw). But hot damn, I found something tonight!

BAKED CHEESY MASHED FAUXTATOES

1 large head of cauliflower
4 oz. cream cheese
2 Tbsp. butter
1/2-cup sour cream
1/4-cup grated Parmesan
Bacon bits (real ones!)
Chopped green onion or chives (to taste)
1 cup grated cheddar

Steam cauliflower until it is soft and mushy. Mash it. Put butter and cream cheese into mixing bowl. Put hot mashed cauliflower in bowl to melt the butter and cream cheese. Put in all other ingredients except for cheddar (and save a little bacon for later), and stir it all up. Put the mixture into an 8" x 8" baking pan. Sprinkle shredded cheddar on top, along with some of the bacon. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes.

Mine turned out fantastic. The first bite I was slightly disappointed, because I could tell it was cauliflower (I thought it might be better disguised). But as I ate a second bite and a third? I was damned near fooled into thinking I was eating twice-baked potatoes! The flavor grew and grew on me. It's just about the best Atkins-ready side dish I've ever had.  And I've since read that a little whipping cream, and some garlic powder completes the disguise. If the reviewers are to be believed, if you don't tell people, they are fooled into thinking it's a potato dish. Cool!

I found this at (of all places) a body building site. But who cares, it's great!

Source: forum.bodybuilding.com

Chris Christie: Summer Vacationing in Vegas "Stupid"

Hmmm. . .on a couple of different occasions, President Obama used Las Vegas as an example (ie., bailed out bankers ought not to be taking junkets to Sin City). On both occasions, conservative Las Vegans went apeshit. Now, right-wing darling (and behemoth) New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has done essentially the same thing. What say you, right-wing world? (crickets)


[Excerpt]


Gov. Christie: Visiting Vegas in Summer is 'Stupid'

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie says "you'd have to be stupid" to visit Las Vegas in the summer.
Christie says Atlantic City is a much cooler summer destination. The governor made his comments Wednesday while introducing a redevelopment expert who helped New England cities grow for the job of helping to save Atlantic City. . .

Read more at: 8NewsNow

Thanks to Stupid Monkey Planet for the link.

Separated at Birth: Gov. Christie and Mr. Creosote

"After dinner mint? It's wafer thin. . ."

It's not like I'm trying to be mean here. I myself am on a diet to bring down my weight from an all-time worst (it's working, by the way). I had two thoughts when seeing this picture featured on The Drudge Report this morning, with the link, "Iowa. . ." First was, "He looks like Mr. Creosote from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life." And the second was, "Is this the most flattering picture Drudge could find?" I mean seriously, this is supposedly their great white whale holy grail, right? And he went with that shot?



Screen shot of Wednesday's Drudge Report. Click to embiggen.



The Fat Thing, Revisited. . .Again



In a fair and just world, this would be my "before" and "after"
pictures. Though I think I do look better than Ryan
Reynolds in a fat suit. Not saying I do, I just think I do.


Have you ever met someone who is so good looking, they're almost intimidating? I'm not talking about sexual attraction (though I wouldn't rule it out), I just mean that they're so attractive, it's overwhelming. There's a client who comes into our office from time to time who meets that description. He's dark haired, blue eyed, and has an intense gaze. He's got the reputation of a real womanizer, and I'm really not surprised about that. The first couple of times I saw him, in addition to taking all that in, I did notice that he was carrying 15-20 pounds around the middle that he could stand to lose. But the way he looked, he really pulled it off.

The next few times I saw him, I thought he probably should lay off the pizza and beer, because his 15-20 pounds had grown up to a good 30 or so. And the last time I saw him, he was pushing 45-50 more than he should. Only now, he's been carrying extra weight long enough, his hands and face are getting plump, along with the belly. Suddenly, he's not so intimidating anymore. Now, he's just starting to look like the rest of us!

At the age of 45, I find that without a great deal of effort, I quickly and easily go down the same road. I got an unfortunate blend of genes from my family: skinny genes and weight gain genes. If that seems like a contradiction, it's really not. I grew up a bean pole, literally able to eat as much and as often as I wanted, and never gained an an ounce. As I've segued from decade to decade, the metabolism has slowed down, and my "idle" weight has increased incrementally. I'm still a beanpole, with skinny arms, skinny legs, small chest and shoulders. But I've got the beans now too, with fat collecting around the stomach, butt and face. If I'm not dieting and exercising regularly, I get fat in those areas, and quickly.

At 20, my idle weight was 140. At 30, it was up to 150. At 40, It could be from 160-170, and now at 45? 180-185. Seriously. I don't have to eat a lot, I just have to eat normally and not exercise, and boom, tubbo. And like the good looking guy I mentioned, if I stay fat long enough, my hands get fat enough to change ring sizes, and my face--where the weight goes first, and leaves last--gets rounder, and rounder. Yeah, well, I'm not gonna take it.

Probably not for the last time (but who really knows), I'm hitting the Atkins Diet and the exercise again. I'd tipped the scales at at least 185 (I didn't really want to know), with only a couple of pairs of pants fitting. For a guy who wore a 28" waist in college, growing out of 34"s is just embarrassing. So, 23 out of the last 31 days, I've walked 2 to 5 miles a day. I've been low carbing it for three weeks now. I've got a ways to go, but I'm down to 177 or so. It comes off a lot more slowly than it goes on, as everyone knows.  I doubt I'll ever get down to 140 pounds again without a horrifying disease, but I will get down to less than clinically overweight, which for me is about 165. And though I'll never be so good looking that I'm intimidating, I'm kind of doubting that the guy in my example will again, either!

New Year's Resolutions, 2011 Edition

January 3rd was for me--and likely for a whole lot of Americans--the first day for this year's batch of new year's resolutions. I mean, why start on the first if it's on a weekend? Doomed to failure. So, starting on the first day back to work was the way to go for me at least. Who knows me better than me?

I have two, well, two-and-a-half resolutions this year. The half one is a plan to start working out and/or walking more regularly. This one only merits a half because I'm pretty sure I'd do it anyway, resolution or not. And the plan is to wait a little stretch into the year before really getting going. You know, when it's lighter out later, when the early batch of resolution-makers starts failing, and the gym gets a little emptier.  This one is rather a foregone conclusion, and I'm sure I'll get to it.

One of the resolutions is also fairly easy: I'm going to lose a little weight, mostly gained from Thanksgiving to New Year's. I'd do this one anyway too, but it does involve a little more willpower. Since the plan that works for me is a variation of the Atkins Diet, it also requires a bit of an investment in food. That part of the mission is accomplished as of tonight (pepperoni, cheeses, eggs, meatballs, lettuce, roasted chicken, pickles, etc.), and I've been completely faithful to the diet all day. Woohoo!

The other resolution is the biggie. Quitting smoking. Oh, did I mention that I'm a smoker? Probably not. Not many people know. I'm what they call a sneaky smoker. Or maybe a semi-closeted smoker. Oh, I'm out to a few people, but not all!  But my habit is a little tricky to classify.

I started smoking almost 20 years ago, mostly because the "cool kids" were doing it (which is kind of pathetic when you figure that I was 23!). Actually, it was other friends, and it just sort of grew out of a social group. Initially, I was about a pack-a-day smoker, more on weekends. This went on for about six years. Then, I started dating The Other Half. I decided to quit smoking a few months into our relationship, and actually did it. For three months.



Image from WebTradeBureau



But then--as happens quite a bit with young relationships--we broke up for about a month. I had a stress-induced relapse of smoking, but this time with a twist. I stopped smoking indoors, making myself step outside to indulge. I'd also completely given up smoking at work. When The Other Half and I patched things up, I kept up a bit of a charade of still being a non-smoker. I'd sneak one in the morning, one before lunch, one after lunch, and one before I went home. Then, I'd sneak a few when he was gone. Then finally, I just started smoking them in the evening or when we went out.

I never reverted to smoking at work. I even cut out all daytime smoking entirely (no more sneaks), at least on weekdays. But my new openness with evening and "going out" smoking grew to a nearly regular habit again. Over the last several months, The Other Half and I have been toying with the idea of quitting for real and for good for quite a while. So around Thanksgiving, I set the date: January 3, 2011. And it has come to pass. Since I don't usually smoke in the daytime, this little experiment is really only a few hours old. But so far, so good.

One thing I'm pretty sure of is that I'm not addicted to smoking. After all, I go through an entire workday, and occasionally after-work events with no craving whatsoever. My behavior was all related to time and place. When I got home--provided there was no one there but "us"--I had a smoke. Every hour or so in the evening, I'd have a smoke. If we go out to a casino. . .boy, howdy. . .we smoke. But I've been doing it inside a set of rules I pretty much set up myself, and I really haven't strayed. So, I'm fairly confident I can do this.

So far, the problem is habit. I'm so used to going outside to light up at some point, that I keep wanting to go outside. It isn't even really a smoking craving, as sort of a muscle memory or something.  I couldn't tell you what I ever got out of smoking. It's not exactly a buzz or a high. I would light up and go ahhhh after the first one of the evening, but I couldn't articulate that ahhhh if you put a gun to my head.  And I'm betting most other smokers couldn't either.  But we'd have no problem giving you a list of the bad things about smoking.

That would be (in no particular order): a vague sense of shame, smelly clothes and fingers, stained teeth, a phlegmy cough, $5 - $7 per pack cost, and health paranoia. Here's hoping that my next report on resolutions points to the success of this (and my other 1-1/2 resolutions). Wish me luck!

Fattest and Skinniest States

Image from source. Go to link at bottom of post for childhood obesity graph.

If you're like me, you had a little too much fun this holiday weekend. It's a time for beer and barbecues, and jumping off your diet feet first.  I ate way too much, and it's back on the wagon starting today.  And it looks like a lot of you need to join me there!

[Excerpt]

F as in Fat: How Obesity Threatens America's Future 2010

Adult obesity rates increased in 28 states in the past year, and declined only in the District of Columbia (D.C.), according to F as in Fat: How Obesity Threatens America's Future 2010, a report from the Trust for America's Health (TFAH) and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation (RWJF). More than two-thirds of states (38) have adult obesity rates above 25 percent. In 1991, no state had an obesity rate above 20 percent.


The report highlights troubling racial, ethnic, regional and income disparities in the nation's obesity epidemic. For instance, adult obesity rates for Blacks and Latinos were higher than for Whites in at least 40 states and the District of Columbia; 10 out of the 11 states with the highest rates of obesity were in the South -- with Mississippi weighing in with highest rates for all adults (33.8 percent) for the sixth year in a row; and 35.3 percent of adults earning less than $15,000 per year were obese compared with 24.5 percent of adults earning $50,000 or more per year. . .

Read more at: Trust for America's Health

The Fat Thing and The Low-Carb Diet Again

As with many other American adults, I find myself--if not at square one--back to the beginning of a diet cycle. My diet of choice is Atkins, or at least a variation. I've gotten pretty good at it, and can stay on track for many months at a time. Then, fate intervenes: minor surgery, long stays by visitors from out of state, trips back home to Ohio (where my trifecta of Donato's Pizza, White Castle and Skyline Chili lurk) or some such interruption of the easy adaptation of a low-carb diet.

This time it was a combination of visitors and minor surgery. I succumbed. I needed soft food, comfort food. And when the visitors came, I acquiesced to extending my "eat what you want" diet. Which very rapidly puts me back to chubbitude. Much more quickly than I lose it, of course. So, to finish off my 2 weeks of diet abandon, I've ordered a Pizza Hut "Meat Lover's" Pizza. So there! Tomorrow, I start with the low-carby thing again. I'm sure it will work, to a degree. I have a stubborn 8 pounds that refuses to leave. But to be honest, I am not even going to go near the bathroom scale for at least the first week. Meanwhile, here is my post from my last trip on the Atkins train. There are tips here, so take note!

ORIGINAL POST (03/03/09):

Photo from IMDB.com

From the time before I started this blog until late September of 2008, I was around 180 pounds, a personal worst. I'm 5'8-1/2", and went about 25 years eating absolutely anything I wanted while remaining rail thin. Some time in my late 20s, the weight crept up, and I found it settling about 10 pounds higher per new decade. When I turned 40, I was just off of my (second? third?) Atkins diet, and was at a reasonable weight. But as I slid into 41, there it was, 180 pounds, or there abouts.

In late September last year, I'd had enough, and decided to give the Atkins Diet one more go around. By this time, I'd learned all of the tricks (some of which you can find here), so it wasn't too difficult. Except for the fact that the Atkins craze died about four years ago, and pre-packaged low carb foods are much harder to come by these days.

I got my weight down to a much more reasonable 160 pounds, where it has remained (give or take two or three pounds both ways) since about November. My waist dropped from a 34" to somewhere between 31" and 32." And while it would be nice to see 30" pants again, it will take a heavy exercise program to see that happen, and I haven't gotten the gumption for that quite yet.

Since I've grown to accept that 160 pounds (ish) is my new stable weight if I'm careful, I've loosened up on the diet. Now, once or twice a week (usually on weekends) I'll have a cheat day. Raising Cane's chicken, or Chinese food. Maybe pizza. And then it is right back on the low-carb diet. This has produced no measurable weight gain, and it certainly makes me happier.

I've also gotten creative on the non-cheat days. I thought I'd share a couple of my recipes, in case you're in the same position.

Jamie's Low-Carb Pizza

Pre-heat oven to 410, with pizza pan on the rack, so it gets hot. Get a Mission low-carb flour tortilla. Get the white ones, because they taste a lot closer to the real thing, and don't have the icky Atkins soy-flour aftertaste. Spread a couple of spoonfuls of Ragu (or equivalent) pizza sauce on it, and spread liberal amounts of sliced pepperonis and mozzarella cheese on top. Chop up some pepper rings to put on top, and any other meats you might like. After the oven is hot, take out the pizza pan, and immediately transfer your pizza onto it, and put into the oven. If you have a convection feature, turn it on. Cook until the cheese is bubbly and browning, and you're done. Very tasty, and not far from the real thing.

Jamie's Low-carb Tuna Melt

Follow instructions for the oven and tortilla in the above pizza recipe. Mix tuna, chopped onions, chopped dill pickles and chopped pepper rings with a couple of spoons of mayonnaise. Spread tuna mixture and sharp cheddar cheese onto tortilla, and bake just like the pizza.

Both of these are interesting, and relatively low-carb dinners to jazz up your routine. And while I haven't really done the carb math here, the tortillas are 7 net carbs, and the rest of the ingredients are either carb-free, or pretty low. Enjoy!

One more thing: There are still low-carb Splenda-sweetened ice creams on the market, so check your various grocery stores to see what's available. Blue Bunny makes some fantastic ice cream bars (Sweet Freedom raspberry is like candy), and there is also "Watch N Carbs" and a few others. You can also find sugar-free chocolate syrup, and add dry roasted peanuts if you like a little salty and sweet. There used to be (much) more, but there are still enough varieties to save my sanity.

Colbert Report: Has America Reached Peak Fatitude?

We're fat, and we can't get any fatter! So says Stephen Colbert.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Manifest Density
http://www.colbertnation.com/
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Economy

More Atkins Home Recipes

A few weeks ago, I posted my recipe for a low-carb Atkin's Diet-friendly Chicken Egg Drop Soup recipe. I'm reposting it, along with a Beef Vegetable Soup version I made today. Very tasty, and easy to make. Enjoy.


I've been off and on the Atkin's Diet for a while now. Well, a modified version anyhow. I'm not as strict with alcohol or caffeine as the late Doctor would have liked, but it still tends to work for me. After my recent trips back home, I've been a lot more lax with my diet, pretty much abandoning it for a couple of weeks.

Sadly, this means that this year's changeover from shorts to jeans is met with a little more snuggitude in the waist band than I'd like. So, I've been hitting the Atkins hard this week. If you've ever been on it, you know that you can get really bored. So it is important to make the food interesting so that you aren't tempted to cheat. I have a whole list of "coping" foods in a previous post, and some nifty recipes for low-carb pizza and low-carb tuna melts here.

Last night I made a low-carb soup that I'm enjoying again today, so I thought I'd share my recipe--such as it is--with everybody.

Low-carb Chicken Egg Drop Soup

Chicken (Boiled, baked or grilled)
Chicken stock or bouillion (I use "Better than Bouillion" from a jar) & water
Chopped Onions (frozen, fresh or dehydrated)
Vegetables (I use frozen "Normandy Blend": cauliflower, broccoli, yellow & orange carrots)
Eggs (whipped)
Spices (whatever's your pleasure, I used some Mrs. Dash and some pasta seasoning)
Bay leaves (optional)

NOTE: There are no measurements listed here, because this is pretty much a loose, "can't screw it up" recipe. Just add as much of each thing as you want.]

Shread, cut or otherwise make your chicken into little pieces. Put everything except the eggs into the pot, and turn on the fire. Let the soup begin to bubble, and stir it occasionally. Take your scrambled raw eggs, and drizzle them into the hot soup, a little at a time. When that's done, turn the fire down a little, and put the lid on the pot. Let it cook long enough that the veggies get to your level of tenderness.

Obviously, there's not much else to do. The egg provides a "noodly"-ness to your soup. It's pretty yummy and you can't mess it up. If it needs more broth, put in more broth. More eggs or vegetables? Put in more. Not spicy enough? Throw in some more. As long as you've got a big enough pot, it's impossible to ruin it. Best of all, there are almost no carbs in it at all. . .and you can control that by what vegetables you use. Normandy Blend has, like 3 net carbs. That's it!

(By the way, mine turned out slightly reddish in the picture because I used a leftover piece of marinated chicken. Yours will likely be yellower.)

UPDATE:

Low-carb Beef Vegetable Soup

Browned Ground Beef (with or without onions)
Beef broth or bouillion (I use "Better than Bouillion" from a jar) & water
Chopped Onions (frozen, fresh or dehydrated)
Vegetables (I use frozen "Normandy Blend": cauliflower, broccoli, yellow & orange carrots. I also used frozen green beans for my beef soup)
Eggs (whipped; optional)
Spices (whatever's your pleasure, I used some Mrs. Dash and some pasta seasoning)

Canned Diced Tomatoes
Bay leaves (optional)

NOTE: There are no measurements listed here, because this is pretty much a loose, "can't screw it up" recipe. Just add as much of each thing as you want. Taste as you go.

This recipe pretty much follows the chicken soup recipe, except you can leave out the egg drop if you want (I like it), and add a can of tomatoes. Yes, tomatoes do have carbs, but 1 can spread out over a whole pot? Not much. Dump in the whole can, liquid included, for a richer, tastier broth. The great things about both soups is, you can keep adding ingredients if the taste isn't to your liking. I've made both of these soups several times, and have yet to make one that didn't satisfy.

Atkins Recipe: Chicken Egg Drop Soup

I've been off and on the Atkin's Diet for a while now. Well, a modified version anyhow. I'm not as strict with alcohol or caffeine as the late Doctor would have liked, but it still tends to work for me. After my recent trips back home, I've been a lot more lax with my diet, pretty much abandoning it for a couple of weeks.

Sadly, this means that this year's changeover from shorts to jeans is met with a little more snuggitude in the waist band than I'd like. So, I've been hitting the Atkins hard this week. If you've ever been on it, you know that you can get really bored. So it is important to make the food interesting so that you aren't tempted to cheat. I have a whole list of "coping" foods in a previous post, and some nifty recipes for low-carb pizza and low-carb tuna melts here.

Last night I made a low-carb soup that I'm enjoying again today, so I thought I'd share my recipe--such as it is--with everybody.

Low-carb Chicken Egg Drop Soup

Chicken (Boiled, baked or grilled)
Chicken stock or bouillion (I use "Better than Bouillion" from a jar)
Chopped Onions (frozen, fresh or dehydrated)
Vegetables (I use frozen "Normandy Blend": cauliflower, broccoli, yellow & orange carrots)
Eggs (whipped)
Spices (whatever's your pleasure, I used some Mrs. Dash and some pasta seasoning)
Bay leaves (optional)

NOTE: There are no measurements listed here, because this is pretty much a loose, "can't screw it up" recipe. Just add as much of each thing as you want.]

Shread, cut or otherwise make your chicken into little pieces. Put everything except the eggs into the pot, and turn on the fire. Let the soup begin to bubble, and stir it occasionally. Take your scrambled raw eggs, and drizzle them into the hot soup, a little at a time. When that's done, turn the fire down a little, and put the lid on the pot. Let it cook long enough that the veggies get to your level of tenderness.

Obviously, there's not much else to do. The egg provides a "noodly"-ness to your soup. It's pretty yummy and you can't mess it up. If it needs more broth, put in more broth. More eggs or vegetables? Put in more. Not spicy enough? Throw in some more. As long as you've got a big enough pot, it's impossible to ruin it. Best of all, there are almost no carbs in it at all. . .and you can control that by what vegetables you use. Normandy Blend has, like 3 net carbs. That's it!

(By the way, mine turned out slightly reddish in the picture because I used a leftover piece of marinated chicken. Yours will likely be yellower.)