Shit People Say in Las Vegas

The "Shit People Say" meme had to finally get around to Las Vegas, didn't it? And this one--while maybe not as technically well made as some--is right on the money. I've lived here for over 17 years, and I've heard every one of these. George Carlin used to have a great bit on it (he played Vegas often), with one of the "shit people say" lines being, "Remember that money I told you not to let me have under any circumstances? Give that to me now."

Legislator Behind Guns in Bars: Arrested for DUI

Irony alert! He didn't just get caught driving drunk, he was caught drunk with a gun! I'd say it was a case of unintended consequences, but. . .mercy. What was the point of allowing guns in bars in the first place? Other countries must think we're insane.

[Excerpt]

Rep. Curry Todd Arrested for DUI

Rep. Curry Todd Arrested for DUI: MyFoxMEMPHIS.com

Local state representative Curry Todd has been arrested in Nashville. He is charged with DUI and possession of a handgun while under the influence.

Police picked him up around 11:15 Tuesday night. . .

Read more at: MyFoxMemphis

In a peculiar bit of synchronicity,  I was thinking about finding this story at the same time I found Stupid Monkey Planet's email. So, thanks again, Monkey!

Dan Aykroyd in Local Las Vegas Liquor Ad

Image from Extreme Mortman

My home town is Columbus, Ohio. And one of the peculiarities there--though this may have changed in the past 14 years--was the State Liquor Store. You could buy beer, wine and "wine coolers" (now, really malt liquor) at the grocery, but the hours were regulated for no particular reason. We did have "beer docks," which were drive-thru jobbies where you could buy beer and snacks. Peculiar, really, drive-thru beer. But their hours were restricted too.

If you wanted selection, or something stronger, you had to go to the State Liquor Store. And in the town I lived in--Delaware--you could browse but not actually touch the liquor. Everything had to be requested. And the hours were lame. Now, imagine my surprise when I moved to Las Vegas in 1994. Not only can you get any kind of liquor under the sun at the local grocery, you can do so 24 hours a day! Oh, and the bars don't have a closing time, but that's a different post.

Even though we can buy just about anything at Vons or Albertsons, the prices fluctuate, and sales are not always on the item you want. So, we rely on the "big box" liquor stores, like Lee's Discount Liquor. Lee's is huge here in Vegas, and has been around for a long time. They have large stores, with wide selections in all varieties of alcohol. And they have great prices, especially if you bring cash. The location nearest our house is staffed with the surliest, most unpleasant retail workers I've ever encountered, but the prices can't be beat.

Local commercials for the chain have been uneven, from mildly amusing to bad. But I saw a commercial last night that cracked me up, starring (in addition to Mr. Lee and his grandson--carryovers from previous ads), Saturday Night Live alumnus Dan Aykroyd! I looked around, and couldn't find the ad available anywhere, but I was so tickled, I wanted to post something from the Aykroyd oeuvre. And he plays Julia Child, who is sauced, so it's appropriate! Here you go. . .

Jack Daniels Selling Well in Bad Economy

Image from source, Clusterstock

Business are downsized (if they're not being bailed out), people are being laid off, Christmas parties are being scaled back (or eliminated). Families and friends are resorting to "Secret Santa" gift exchanges instead of buying for everybody. But at least one product is doing very well this holiday season. Drink up, everybody!

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Jack Daniels Maker Doing Awesome In This Economy

It's not just a joke: People are really turning to drink in this economy. Brown Forman (BF) the maker of Jack Daniels and Finlandia Vodka reported an awesome quarter. . .

Read more at: Clusterstock

What's Up With (Still) President Bush's Jaw?

I've mentioned this before, the weird jaw-wiggle that (still) President George W. Bush does after he completes a sentence. It's a strange, distracting thing, once you start to notice it. John Boehner has a similar thing, tensing back the corners of his mouth repeatedly. When you clue into it, you notice almost nothing else.

But Boehner's grimace is pretty obviously a facial tic. He's probably not aware he's doing it. Bush's looks more serious than that. It's a waggle more than a wiggle, a jut outward and to the left. It alternates with tightly pursed lips. What the hell does that to his face? Is his slurred (schlurrred) speech part of the problem? And why does it come and go from speech to speech? Is he just drunk? Medicated? Is it a holdover from his cocaine-binge days? This just bugs me. I hate unsolved mysteries.

Slurred speech 'n' coke jaw, before a captive audience at Fort Campbell. Junior's RIPPED.



Found at: Democratic Underground

Science is Cool: Beer Goggles are Real!

Image from source, Live Science

It's been said that to a straight guy, a girl's score on a 1-10 scale goes up with each beer he drinks. They call the effect "beer goggles," and while it seems obvious, apparently it is now scientifically proven! Now, what about the adage that the difference between a straight guy and a gay guy is a six pack of beer? I'm thinking they're gonna have to trick the straight guys into participating in that study. . .

[Excerpt]

People Really Do Look Better When You Drink

For the first time, scientists have proven that "beer goggles" are real — other people really do look more attractive to us if we have been drinking.
Surprisingly, the beer goggles effect was not limited to just the opposite sex among the ostensibly straight volunteers recruited for the study — they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive. . .

Read more at: Live Science

Thanks to Stupid Monkey Planet for the link.

Is Bush Drinking Again?

Image from source, NewsCorpse

Maybe this should be filed under "Shameless Gossip," but I've never been 100% convinced that our "reformed alcoholic" President has ever been entirely off of the sauce. Periodic drunkenness would go a long way to explaining his idiotic behavior, wouldn't it?

[Excerpt]

Bush: Back On The Bottle?

The national embarrassment that is our president once again raises its reddened face. In photographs from the Olympics in China, it appears that recovering souse, George W. Bush, is relapsing. . .

Read more at: NewsCorpse

Young Turks on Bush's Hidden Camera Moment

The other day, I posted a video taken of George W. Bush by a hidden camera (camera phone?). In it, he used uncharacteristically frank language about the mortgage crisis, and used inappropriate humor. Here, Cenk Uygur of The Young Turks breaks it down for us. Better than I did.