The Stupid Monkey Shares A Christmas Gift

Click Picture Make Boom Boom

Whilst our Dear Editor is busy with married life & pagan rituals I have decided to provide the millions of our readers with a distraction.

Here is a link to a site that has an item that can be used by one & all at one point or another. For stress relief... for laughs... for revenge... for fantasy... for fun... for whatever moment you need it.

Makes for a safe non-felonious way of having felonious fun.

Once you open the page just push the red button & enjoy. (HINT: It get's better as you click.)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! (FUCK YEAH!)

Manly explosions courtesy of The Old Spice Man. 

Happy Monday Back at Work!

Yeah, the big 4-day food-fest weekend is over. Back on the diets! Back to work! And back to blogging for me. Unfortch, I haven't been able to find much that interests me. So why not something funny? Something we can imagine happening to us. It's funny 'cause it isn't me!

Happy Easter!

EDITOR'S NOTE: Still out here visiting in Ohio. Thanks to Stupid Monkey Planet for helping out on the blog. But how do I say that I agree with the sentiments below while still trying to convey a gentle warning to the reader? Uh, kiddies, this post is hereby rated B-MA (Blogger Mature Audiences), and you are thus warned that what follows may disturb those with delicate sensibilities. So, without further ado. . .

Guest Blogged by Stupid Monkey Planet

Easter is my favorite bloody, religious holiday here in America. In celebration of said Holiday we get candy, send cards, hunt eggs, partake in family fights, binge eat, binge drink & maybe even go to church. And we do it all with a little bunny rabbit.

You know the Easter Bunny. He is like fabric softener for pseudo religious types. He sort of removes the 'starch' of the story of a long haired, hippie, anti-government radical, caught, tried, convicted, tortured, condemned, bloodied up, tacked to a cross, pelted, destiny speared, lying or rising, living or dying, King of Kings, King of Jews, Son of God, Lord of Lords, borne from virgin blood, first chair clarinet, messiah.

But the bunny... He makes it sweet. Candy coats the blood gore & just emphasizes the magic.

With that in mind... I came across a rather fitting tribute to today's religioliday. An image that made me feel... Well... rather Joyous.

Artist Unknown

Merry Christmas Eve!

UPDATE 12/25/08: Well, now it is actually Christmas, and I haven't posted a danged thing. Sorry about that. Just a quick note to say that I'm still around, just not blogging much for a couple of days. Please come back? Thanks!

Original post:

The day we Americans over-plan for is finally almost here! After forcing everybody--whether or not they celebrate Christmas--to say "Merry Christmas!" from Thanksgiving onward, it is finally Christmas Eve. If you're like me, you have the rest of the week off. And if you're really lucky--like me--you have the whole next week off too!

Paradoxically, I'll have lots of time off to blog, but I most likely will post less than I usually do! The reasons for this are varied. For one, news is much harder to come by. The regular TV and radio hosts are mostly on vacation. Bloggers too, by and large. And of course, there is the fact that hardly anybody is reading anyway. I'm down to about 50 visitors a day now, and expect to fare even worse over the next 10 days or so. So why knock myself out if nobody notices?

And the biggest reason is of course that I'll be on vacation, much of it with The Other Half. I'll be busy not being busy. So, expect a much lighter amount of posts for the rest of the year. But expect that just about everywhere. So if I don't see you before hand, have a very Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Joyous Kwanzaa/Happy New Year/Winter Break!

Oh, and if The Other Half and I tire of each other, I'll be here, blogging away!

Happy Hanukkuh, Hellbound!

No, I don't think Jewish people are going to hell. I don't even believe in hell. But I thought this was funny.

[Excerpt]

Hanukkah starts tonight

We, of course, don't think our Jewish friends are going to hell (Ari, you're safe), but Barack Obama's bff Rick Warren outright told a Jewish woman, in front of a large gasping crowd, that she was going to hell because she hasn't converted to Christianity. That's not civility we can believe in.

Read more at: AmericaBlog

The Return of the War on Christmas

Image from source, Huffington Post

Oy vey. It's back. The mythical War on Christmas. The perennial fake outrage from Bill O'Reilly and the rest of FOX "News." Of all of the right's faux outrages, this one is among the lamest.

Christmas decorations start appearing in stores in August. From Halloween on, we are inundated with the holiday, with carols playing over the loudspeakers at Sam's Club, to lame commercials. I like Christmas, and though no longer a practicing Christian, I'm as consumery as anybody. But it is easy to see how people (particularly those who do not celebrate the holiday) can grow weary of it.

But I've really got to say, I haven't heard a lot of whining from them. It's part of American life, it just is. Still, people (egged on by conservatives) have started taking offense of phrases like "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons' Greetings." Now, I don't believe for a second that anyone using those phrases does so with malice.

It's an easy way of saying "have a happy holiday season." It includes Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, Christmas, New Year's Eve, and probably several others I'm forgetting. It is truly a holiday season, and it is absurd to instead say "Merry Christmas" to everybody, for two months. Christmas is one day. Just my two cents.

[Excerpt]

O'Reilly's War On Christmas Goes Retail

You know, as I walked up into the CVS across the street from my apartment a few days ago and saw the store festooned with Christmas decorations, I had two thoughts. First, I thought, "November 3rd! That's not so bad, actually!" And indeed, it wasn't: in previous years, area stores had their Christmas decor up before Halloween. But then I had another realization: namely, that the coming of the Christmas decorations brought an ill Yuletide wind along with it - the annual mindfrack that is Bill O'Reilly's War On Christmas. . .

Read more at: Huffington Post