Dispatches from the War on Christmas, Parts #13 & 14

The more I hear of these, the more I think it should be a bigger "thing." Good job, Kenny!
 

Dispatches from the War on Christmas, Parts 9 - 12 (Kenny Pick)

More funny Ken Burnsian excerpts from the mockumentary that really ought to be made! From the genius that is Kenny Pick. Enjoy.

 

Dispatches from the War on Christmas, Parts 5 - 8 (Kenny Pick)

More great bits by Kenny Pick (often of The Stephanie Miller Show) about that ridiculous War on Christmas.

 

Dispatches from the War on Christmas, Parts 1 - 4 (Kenny Pick)

These are truly hilarious and well done Ken Burns-style parodies, as if "The War on Christmas" was a real thing, by Kenny Pick who (like Rocky Mountain Mike and several other talented folks) is famous partly for his appearances on The Stephanie Miller Show. I'll run some more clips soon, but they're all available at Kenny's SoundCloud portal, here.

 

Someone Please Explain This "War on Christmas" Video to Me

Seriously, I mean, WTF?

 

Jon Stewart Takes Another Swing at "The War on Christmas"

I wrote a fresh opinion piece on the annual faux FOX "News" War on Christmas, just a couple of posts ago. But if you want a professional's take, here's Jon Stewart.
 

War on Christmas, Darling (A Rocky Mountain Mike Song Parody)

How'd I miss this one? Thanks, Mike!

 

War on Thanksgiving!

Yep. Image from Think Progress

The War on Christmas is a manufactured, phony-baloney, insanely stupid non-troversy, made up by FOX "News" and perpetuated throughout Right Wing World. But you know what isn't phony? The War on Thanksgiving. Year after year, "Black Friday," the frenzy that is the beginning of the Christmas shopping season, has been creeping backward into Thursday. This year, they've avoided all the niceties of letting people at least have their dinner, and then starting the sales. No, they're having sales in the evening, some in the afternoon, some at the crack of dawn on Thursday.

This means, of course, that a whole bunch of workers have to give up their traditional Thanksgiving dinner. This has been true for many years for firemen, police, military personnel, quickie-mart operators and other, sure. But all those folks knew what they were getting into. My husband refuses on principle to participate during times when people are being made to work when they don't want to. And me, I just don't want any part of the nutzoid shopping crowd.

But I still think the corporations are shooting themselves in the foot. But moving the time further and further back, they're diluting the whole tradition, and screwing themselves.

[Excerpt]

Seven Stores That Won’t Ruin Their Workers’ Thanksgivings
 
This year, more than a dozen retailers will open their doors on Thanksgiving Day, leaving millions of workers with little choice but to forgo their holiday to jumpstart the biggest shopping weekend of the year. With profits in mind, Walmart, Target, Best Buy, Kmart, Macy’s, Kohl’s, J.C. Penney, Toys R Us, and more, have announced early Thanksgiving hours. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

In Case You Missed It: Jon Stewart's Take on "The War on Christmas"

I know I've piled on FOX "News" of late, but people, it just can't be helped! They're such a steaming pile of horse manure--or better put, Bullshit Mountain--they are just an irresistible target. And why should I apologize when even the likes of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart can't resist? Of course, there is no better fodder for Stewart than a phony controversy. You stir that with some Doocey, and you've got comedy gold.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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Here We Go Again: The Perennial FOX "News" War on Christmas™

Do I even need to write a new introduction? This is my sixth holiday season doing this blog, and it's the same thing every year. Already, we've got Bill O'Reilly on FOX "News" declaring that Christianity is a philosophy, not a religion, and thus, no conflict with church and state. Sigh. Here, let's see how it went last time. . .

LAST YEAR'S INTRO:

I wasn't planning on re-running my "War on Christmas" post again until closer to the holiday season, when I need a little more time for family and friends. But Tuesday, on my short commute home, I listened to KXNT, one of the Las Vegas right-wing talk stations. KXNT had a major revamp this year, and though evidence is hard to find, I would bet they're not doing as well as they used to. Sure, they've still got Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, but they shuttled the aggressively annoying Mark Levin to a tape-delayed slot in favor of local host Alan Stock [Note: Stock has since been fired and shuttle to a different station].

I've had personal run-ins with Stock when they allowed comments on their web page, during the anti-gay marriage constitutional effort here in Nevada (which was, alas, successful). I'm not a fan, but I listen to see what he's up to. Tuesday's topic of discussion was the "War on Christmas," and Stock had a man--I didn't catch his name--who was spearheading an assault on retailers to feature "Merry Christmas" in their advertising campaigns.  Stock--who is Jewish--sort of blew the guy's whole point, when the man wished him a Merry Christmas. Stock said [paraphrasing here], "Well, for me, it's Happy Hanukkah. I said that before, but he didn't get it." Exactly! Bingo! My point was proven.

ORIGINAL POST:

Let me first say that "the War on Christmas" is a ridiculous myth that is only believed by drooling, mouth-breathing FOX-heads. It's stupid, sooooo stupid, and yet every year they get energized by it. The very fact that "Christians" are all up in arms because the holiday of Christmas is not commercial enough, is part of the stupid.

Let me lay this out for you, Christmas Warriors: "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons' Greetings" are not a new invention. They've been around for decades, possibly over a century. People who say these phrases and print them on cards, packaging and advertising are not trying to insult anybody. They're not trying to denigrate your religious beliefs or anyone else's. It's a nice thing to say, and is universally relayed with the best of intentions. You taking offense is stupid.

Get this through your thick skulls. Christmas is one day. Two if you count Christmas Eve. It makes no sense to be wishing people "Merry Christmas" from Thanksgiving until New Year's Day. "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons' Greetings" are nice catch-all phrases that not only spare you from having to guess your intended's religious holiday beliefs, the phrases cover: Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, not to mention Advent, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and Chanukah. It's not a freaking war on Christmas.

Christmas is the most over-celebrated, over-prepared for, over-abundant holiday there is. The fact that any sane person thinks it is somehow under attack; in some sort of danger of being cancelled; or somehow not celebrated enough is stupid.

More on the Very Stupid Faux Outrage Over Obama's Christmas Card

I already mentioned the stupid, stupid faux outrage over President Obama's Christmas card. If you didn't know, it's a warm, festive card with a fireplace, and the First Dog, Bo. There's a poinsettia, presents. . .it's certainly better decorating than I've ever done. But conservatives like Sarah Palin and others are so against anything and everything Obama, they've got to pick it apart. He didn't mention Chistmas!!! There's not a Christmas tree!!! It's almost as if the Republican outrage machine is based on this woman's world view:



When you know the real history of Christmas, all of the ridiculous "put the Christ back in Christmas" stuff is ironic. Jesus was actually grafted onto the holiday, which has its roots in Paganism and other cultures. And of course, the Puritans actually outlawed the practice of Christmas, because they knew from whence it came.  But the War on Christmas™ being fought by FOX "News" is seemingly trying to make Christmas even more commercial than it already is. They're constantly haranguing retailers for saying "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons Greetings." Because somehow, Christians are downtrodden, marginalized people. Hah!

That all plays perfectly into the everything Obama does is bad crowd at Christmastime. The card is wrong and evil. He's going on vacation to that foreign country, Hawaii! He took his dog to PetSmart! Horrors!!! Funny though, that most things they try to tar Obama with, turn out to be standard operating procedure for all Presidents.  As Herman Cain said, "Now, I don't have facts to back this up," but I'm still convinced this is rooted in racism.

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More from the Front of The War on Christmas™

Spoiler alert: Bush's cards didn't mention Christmas either.
Image from NewsCorpse

I was just debating whether I should run my old War on Christmas™ post from the early days of the blog, revamp it, or rewrite it entirely. And then I stumbled upon a post by the wonderful News Corpse, and decided I'd put mine off, and excerpt his!

[Excerpt]


The Annual Fox News Tradition Of Bashing The Obama’s Holiday Greeting 

It’s that time of year again. The time when winter’s chill nips at your nose and poinsettia blooms abound. The time when children’s laughter echos through the streets and families come together for joyous feasts. And the time when Fox News lambastes the President and his family for not celebrating the holiday in the manner that they think good American, Christian, patriots ought to. . .

Read more at: News Corpse

Better Late than Never: Stephen Colbert's Response to Rick Perry's Anti-Gay Ad

No, Stephen Colbert wasn't late with his response, I was late in posting it. Thanks to Stupid Monkey Planet for the link. It's hilarious.

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The Stupid Monkey Shares A Christmas Gift

Click Picture Make Boom Boom

Whilst our Dear Editor is busy with married life & pagan rituals I have decided to provide the millions of our readers with a distraction.

Here is a link to a site that has an item that can be used by one & all at one point or another. For stress relief... for laughs... for revenge... for fantasy... for fun... for whatever moment you need it.

Makes for a safe non-felonious way of having felonious fun.

Once you open the page just push the red button & enjoy. (HINT: It get's better as you click.)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! (FUCK YEAH!)

Manly explosions courtesy of The Old Spice Man. 

Jon Stewart's Take on the FOX "News" Fake War on Christmas

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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Does FOX "News" Hate Christmas?!?

Horrors!

John Fugelsang: Happy Holidays to War on Christmas

Well said.

Harry Reid to Conservatives: There's No Whining in the Senate!

The line today about why the Senate can't get anything done before the end of the year is that it would be disrespectful to Christians. You heard that right. Apparently December 15-24 and 26-31 are sacred, right along with Christmas and John Boner Boehner's holy day, New Year's Eve. The real reason of course is that if the lame duck Senate manages to pass anything on the agenda, it might have the side effect of making President Obama look good. And you know they can't have that.

Occasionally, they'll be blunt and upfront about that. But usually, they make up shit like the Christmas excuse. It's getting damned annoying hearing all the bloviation when we all know what they're up to. And I find my self once again feeling proud of my usually milque-toasty Senator, Harry Reid.

Daily Show "The Gretch Who Saved the War on Christmas"

Thank goodness Jon Stewart waded into the nonsensical, imaginary, annual FOX "News" "War on Christmas." Why? Because it's one of the most annoying and predictible faux outrage stories out there, I'm sick of it, and nobody sticks it to FOX quite as well as Jon does.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Gretch Who Saved the War on Christmas
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The War on Christmas 2010: The Beat Goes On

I wasn't planning on re-running my "War on Christmas" post again until closer to the holiday season, when I need a little more time for family and friends. But Tuesday, on my short commute home, I listened to KXNT, one of the Las Vegas right-wing talk stations. KXNT had a major revamp this year, and though evidence is hard to find, I would bet they're not doing as well as they used to. Sure, they've still got Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, but they shuttled the aggressively annoying Mark Levin to a tape-delayed slot in favor of local host Alan Stock.

I've had personal run-ins with Stock when they allowed comments on their web page, during the anti-gay marriage constitutional effort here in Nevada (which was, alas, successful). I'm not a fan, but I listen to see what he's up to. Tuesday's topic of discussion was the "War on Christmas," and Stock had a man--I didn't catch his name--who was spearheading an assault on retailers to feature "Merry Christmas" in their advertising campaigns.  Stock--who is Jewish--sort of blew the guy's whole point, when the man wished him a Merry Christmas. Stock said [paraphrasing here], "Well, for me, it's Happy Hanukkah. I said that before, but he didn't get it." Exactly! Bingo! My point was proven.

ORIGINAL POST:

Let me first say that "the War on Christmas" is a ridiculous myth that is only believed by drooling, mouth-breathing FOX-heads. It's stupid, sooooo stupid, and yet every year they get energized by it. The very fact that "Christians" are all up in arms because the holiday of Christmas is not commercial enough, is part of the stupid.

Let me lay this out for you, Christmas Warriors: "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons' Greetings" are not a new invention. They've been around for decades, possibly over a century. People who say these phrases and print them on cards, packaging and advertising are not trying to insult anybody. They're not trying to denigrate your religious beliefs or anyone else's. It's a nice thing to say, and is universally relayed with the best of intentions. You taking offense is stupid.

Get this through your thick skulls. Christmas is one day. Two if you count Christmas Eve. It makes no sense to be wishing people "Merry Christmas" from Thanksgiving until New Year's Day. "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons' Greetings" are nice catch-all phrases that not only spare you from having to guess your intended's religious holiday beliefs, the phrases cover: Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, not to mention Advent, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and Chanukah. It's not a freaking war on Christmas.

Christmas is the most over-celebrated, over-prepared for, over-abundant holiday there is. The fact that any sane person thinks it is somehow under attack; in some sort of danger of being cancelled; or somehow not celebrated enough is stupid.