Showing posts with label Stupid Monkey Planet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stupid Monkey Planet. Show all posts

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Behind the Blogger: The Return of Greenlee Gazette (for the Last Time, Again. . .)!

Though I've slowed down gradually over the last several years, it's only been since the Christmas and New Year's holiday season that Greenlee Gazette has really hit an iceberg and become a derelict craft of a blog. Bobbing around in the ocean, looking for all the world as though it's going under. And who could blame me if it did?

I've been captaining this ship for close to eight years, sometimes accompanied by a poo-flinging ship's chaplain (thanks for stirring me, Rev. Stu'!). And in that time, I've logged thousands of entries, and thousands of hours of unpaid blog-mastering. Though it's a hobby I greatly enjoy, it can be a slog. And some of my favorite bloggers--much more successful ones too, mind you--are actually throwing in the towel this year. Is blogging even still a thing? I'd argue it is, it's just more fractured than it used to be. For all of the social media we have these days, it still largely links to destination sites, and I enjoy being one of those destinations.

Chez Greenlee
But as I've said a few times here, getting back into the habit is difficult. It's kind of like trying to jump back onto a diet, when your schedule is all out of whack. And this past two weeks spanned a time when I was in transition between my parents' rural, snowed-in, remote house and my new suburban one. Now, finally, we're really in, with the bulk of the living space at least partially finished. Staple goods are re-stocked. Utilities are settled, appliances and electronics mostly placed. We've got some blank spaces and some place-holder furniture, and other assorted things to do, but at last, none of it really feels pressing.

The Other Half goes off on another extended work jaunt tomorrow, and my goal is to jump-start the blog--again--along with the diet! So, wish me luck! With all that is going on in the news, getting a few posts up should be no problem, and I'm itching to add my two cents.

For tonight, I'm staring down a 4 am call to get TOH to the airport, so it's early-to-bed. See you back here for the re-booted blog on Monday morning. Promise!

--Ed.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

What Does a Tundra, An Igloo & Our Dear Editor's Windows Have In Common???...

EDITOR'S NOTE: While I can neither confirm nor deny any of what Rev' Stu has to say here, I will first a) apologize for the lack of posts over the last two weeks while I once again get my new life here in Cowtown USA on some sort of schedule, and b) note with some amusement and horror that Stu is taking advantage of my absence to fling some poo on the walls of my derelict blog! Now, on with the story, which may or may not contain a bare thread of truth (or possibly a woven, filthy tapestry of it).
 --Ed.

Ice.
My Heart
I was just monkeying around & thinkin' I should poke fun at our Dear Editor. I know enough about him & have a bit of a callousness that can beget me from time to time... So I figured why the fuck not? "It's all in good spirit...", which is what my lawyers, psychiatrists, spiritual advisers & judge's ruling said I should say. And so it begins...

I met Jamie on a cold and stormy night in the Las Vegas Valley, right behind the am/pm on Valley View & Tropicana... $5 seemed reasonable to me. I'm not gay, but he kinda seemed like he was. Funny enough, it was BFFs from the get go, since I had $15 that day. We chatted three times behind that filthy gas station... I left there with an empty wallet & an empty coin purse.

We seemed to connect & he offered to treat me to dinner afterwards. He allowed me to pick $7 worth of the nearby Burger King's $1 value menu items. Quite generous. In later reflection, I sorta felt like I bought my own dinner, but I digress again... I even had cheese on my Whopper Jr. that night. Very sweet.

Valuable & Heartbreaking Menu
It was awkward the first day Jamie came to work at the same place I did. How did that happen? Did he computer?? Did he scrawl with Crayons? I had no idea he was artsy-fartsy, which I contribute to my total lack of understanding "Teh Gay Culture". But suddenly there he was the in the same room... He's going to be working with me! When he walked thru that sliding glass door & saw me he immediately remembered the $13 worth of flame broiled Burger King value menu items connection we had shared that stormy, magical night. (Admittedly, I too reflected upon that night & remembered that the fucking bitch in the drive thru totally forgot my sweet & sour sauce request... Which I think may have been a gay-bashing crime?... But I'm not sure because I'm not a $16 gay.)



Jamie's Early Work - Circa 1999
Eventually I warmed up to Jamie being in my workspace in the non-$5 way. He was pretty good with crayons & hardly ever tried to make me gay. (He did offer to bring my coffee one morning which may have been Teh Gay for "Wanna fuck?"... But again I'm not cultured or gay, so I don't really know???...)

I decided to break the ice at the office one day... I asked him if he was going to the Cyndi Lauper concert that weekend.
Shocked & scared he said, "Yes, I am going to the queers only show."
I knew then that my suspicions about his gayness were close to confirmed. I beat the crap out him in the parking lot after work... For liking Cyndi Lauper, not teh gay thing.

Gay
After that he was more open about his sinful lifestyle & tendencies towards penii®. We became closer in a strictly non-gay way. We went to movies together, drank beers together, watched Sally Fields movies & even cooked together. It was just like being behind the am/pm again... $15 and limitless dreams. Good times. Again magical... Not cold, just warm loads of fun. Hopeful & playful.
Possibly Jamie's Flying Whore

Things were going well for quite some time until Jamie decided that hanging out at bars was a better route for him... The Burger King value meal was no longer his cup of tea. He started frequenting places that had free drinks, loose slots, looser guests & alleys. It was disturbing. Then he met Her. The tramp. He was enamored... Enthralled... Blown away. To make a long story short Jamie ended up marrying some stewardess from United Airlines. I was crushed, but not in teh gay way.

Fast forward to today. There Jamie sits happy in his big igloo, on the frozen tundra with $16 dollars worth of flying whore & a new world of exploration at his feet... And not gay.

The Devil's Sandwich
I hope you both fucking freeze to death in a White Castle drive thru window.

Much love & luck to you & yours Dear Editor...
~The Rev' Stu' (aka The Stupid Monkey)


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

What Was It???

Was it Porn?... Guns?... Hookers?... Blow?... Oh yeah...

The Stupid Monkey would like to offer a heartfelt apology to our Dear Editor for the failed assignment...

On another note: I would like to congratulate my stupid monkey brain for finally remembering what it was I was supposed to do.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Greenlee Gazette on Vacation

Since I'm leaving on the night flight to Ohio on Tuesday, the likelihood of me getting much blogging done before then is very low. I'm going to try to put a few things up tonight, maybe seed the blog with a few choice time-release nuggets, and call it a night. I'll be popping in when possible, and my good friend Rev. Stu' of Stupid Monkey Planet of Primatheism will descend from the canopy if he's able. So the place won't be dead or anything, but it will be lighter than usual.

Of course, Thanksgiving week is traditionally one of the deadest blogging weeks there is. Trust me, your other haunts will be drying to a trickle too. So thanks for dropping by, please come back when there's more going on around here. And bring your friends!

PS. To really liven the place up, click GreenleeGazette, and let it run for a few minutes!

Hat tip to Alexander at VoenixRising.com.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Travelogue, Part the First

As I sit here typing this post, it is just past midnight, and our second day of vacation has wrapped. And--since I'm typing this--it is evident that I did not over-imbibe, regardless of what you may have heard. Our first day was spent flying to the San Francisco bay area, followed by immediately securing a car, for our drive to Yachats, Oregon. Everything went according to plan, except for the abysmal seating comfort (or rather, discomfort) afforded by the 2012 Chevrolet Impala. Simply dreadful. I can only hope that General Motors has improved things in the new model.

We made excellent time on our nearly 600 mile drive, and other than butt-hurt from the Chevy, we arrived tired, but in good spirits. Our wonderful hosts--dear friends transplanted from Las Vegas last spring--have entertained us since we arrived. We've walked several miles along the coast, took a drive to nearby towns, were treated to a fabulous meal at the Drift Inn (seriously, go there), and enjoyed some libations and conversation here at our incredible rental home. All-in-all, it has been a top-tier vacation, and we have days yet to go!

If you've never been to the Pacific Northwest, pencil it in. You'll have a great time, and see a lot of nature's beauty that you won't find elsewhere. But it helps to have friends to show you the way. 

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Blogiversary: Greenlee Gazette is Five Years Old!

This past weekend--June 2, to be exact--was the 5th anniversary of this here blog thingy. I started the blog on a whim, out of frustration. It was the Bush era, and I was watching FOX "News" (sometimes I torture myself), and had heard the fourth or fifth thing in half an hour that I knew was wrong. A lie, a misstatement, a spin, a distortion, a combination of those, whatever. My psyche was screaming to be heard, and I didn't have an outlet?

Or did I? At that moment, I happened to be reading a blog. And I noticed up in the corner, "Create Blog." And, so I did. Greenlee Gazette was chosen as the title, both as an homage to Huffington Post (which wasn't yet the behemoth it became) and a one-sheet by the same name that I used to create and pass out in my 6th grade classroom.  I began small, but it became something of an obsession. And like someone who has started a diet or hobby, I couldn't shut up about it. In the early days, I posted a couple of things every couple of days, then very soon started posting four, five, maybe ten things per day (I've settled down since then). What started as something of a personal journal very quickly became a liberal, current events, pop culture blog, occasionally sprinkled with gay rights. You know, stuff that interests me.

That turned out to be a little too scattershot and diffuse to really ever get much of a following. Actually, when I started, I doubted I'd attract any attention at all, outside of the few people I'd told about it.  Maybe six weeks in, I discovered SiteMeter, which keeps track of vistors, and Ping-O-Matic which alerts the interwebs when you've posted something. Suddenly, I had an audience! Still nothing to shout about, I know. If you want to be famous online, you need a niche. Though I did come up with some semi-regular and regular features, my subject matter seems to be just too broad for mass consumption.

But that's okay! I appreciate all of the people who have visited, and love it when I hear from them (most of the time). Recently, I've branched out to Facebook and Twitter to make accessing my posts easier, and there my numbers are even more sobering! But I'm happy to report that my good friend and contributor "Rev. Stu" at Stupid Monkey Planet Church of Primatheism has flourished at Facebook, even though they keep banishing him to Facebook jail. As I said, you need a niche, and he's got one!

So, going forward--and I do intend to--we'll see what the future brings. We've got the Presidential election this fall, and all that entails. We've got either a ton of bragging or a mess of crying to do after that. So either way, there's going to be plenty to talk about. I'll be here. Thanks for reading, and bring your friends! While you're at it, like me (and Stupid Monkey Planet) on Facebook and follow me on Twitter! It just takes a click (click the buttons below).


Friday, May 25, 2012

What Happens in Vegas: Goodbye to Stupid Monkey Planet

I've just left Rev. and Mrs. Stu of Stupid Monkey Planet, at a going away party of sorts. Earlier, I helped the good Rev. with some of their heavier items, and they should be on the road to their new environs by early Saturday morning.

Packing to go. . .
I've known them both for over 15 years, and they've been very good friends. They may be psuedonymous here, but they're very real, quite wonderful people. The Las Vegas valley wasn't very nice to them in recent years, and they decided to find a better place and a new adventure. Fortunately, while this was a physical (and embarrassingly weepy) goodbye, today's interconnected world means that we'll still be in contact. The Stupid Monkey Planet Church of Primatheism will continue on Facebook, and from time to time Rev. Stu will cover for me here, as always.

Truth be told, our relationship has been largely online for some time, since his former residence was all the way across town. It was Mrs. Stu that I may have been weepiest about, since we've been having lunch every Wednesday for nearly a decade (sometimes with her husband). That will be a weekly reminder that they aren't here anymore, and that will continue to make me sad (crying again as I type this). I'm not a particularly emotional person--I've been told I have the compassion of a rock--but this one got me.

I want to wish both of my dear friends the best of luck, and am hopeful that this journey leads to great rewards, or at least boundless happiness. I know their menagerie of pets will enjoy their destination, if not the trip itself. And I'm confident that their new town will be better with the two of them in it. And it is Las Vegas' loss. It's not going to be the same around here without them.

Bye, guys.





Stupid Monkey Planet and Greenlee Gazette can be liked on Facebook using the buttons at the upper left of this screen.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Please Join Greenlee Gazette on Facebook & Twitter!

Since I started a Facebook page for Greenlee Gazette a few months ago, I've gotten into the habit of posting most everything from the main blog there, as well as almost as much original (Facebook only) content. This is because sharing on Facebook is quite a bit easier and faster than posting something to the blog. And then, links to everything show up on the Twitter feed.

Click Here for Greenlee Gazette on Facebook  •  Click Here for Greenlee Gazette on Twitter

But, I need your help! Though I appreciate every "like" I've gotten so far, the total (counting me) so far is kind of scanty. My good friend and collaborator Stupid Monkey Planet is faring much better with his Church of Primatheism, having hopscotched (it helps if you have a tail) well past me. He's got a ways to go until he's (in-)famous, but he's well on his way. Greenlee Gazette has remained fairly steady, but is not. . .well. . .growing.

I recently found out that I have far more readers than I ever realized, at least here on the main blog. I'd really like to have some of you like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter! Just click the buttons below to go directly to my pages. You can even follow the Monkey if you must. Thank you for reading, and bring your friends!

  Follow GreenleeGazette on Twitter   



Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Follow Greenlee Gazette on Facebook and Twitter!

Okay, so there's this thing called "Insights" on Facebook. All kinds of nifty information is available there. But I don't qualify, because the Greenlee Gazette Facebook page doesn't yet have enough followers. Which is embarrassing. But not surprising. Even though I get over 200 visitors to the main page daily, in addition to 50 or so RSS readers and unknown numbers of mobile readers, all of those numbers are smallish. I know and accept this. Plus, my Facebook page is relatively new, and has had even less promotion than this here blog thingy.

Still, I want to grow this venture. And I want to help the Stupid Monkey Planet Church of Primatheism grow too (even though his Facebook page has already passed me by). So, I'm trolling again for the both of us. There are buttons on the upper left of the page, and here they are again. Click 'em! Like us! Please? Thank you!

  Follow GreenleeGazette on Twitter 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Vote Satan 2012

Official Campaign Poster - Pass Around Or Die.
The Reverend Stu' & The Stupid Monkey Planet Church of Primatheism have decided to endorse Satan for 2012.

There is no questioning his stance on many issues. As he is the only candidate that has maintained his message consistently... Never a flip-flopper.

His hands-on experience & vast knowledge of the systems are beyond reproach. He has been at this type of work for thousands of years.

Much like Huntsman or even Ron Paul earlier, the media offers very little time for Satan to get his message out. Although he has been present at every GOP debate,  he is most often ignored by the moderators. (Even when it's obvious he is right there.) Yet he remains a very viable candidate, whose name is widely recognized.

Thankfully, his presence is clearly felt, at the debates, each time the audience laughs, cheers & applauds death, blood, mayhem, starving children & evil in general. With that, you can safely bet that Satan was their inspiration.

So, for myself & the church it is a no-brainer. Vote Satan 2012... otherwise beg for mercy & maybe he'll just fucking reap your souls.

All hail & bless Satan. ~The Reverend Stu'

Visit the church on Facebook.

We're having a bake sale & Bingo on Sunday... And don't forget that we have sacrifices every Wednesday. ~Bless you all.

Friday, December 30, 2011

What Happens in Vegas: Las Vegas Hilton Sign Coming Down

This is a sign of the times, literally. The Las Vegas Hilton sign is well known, and has been a landmark of its own in the past. At one time, it was the largest free-standing sign in the world. And then it collapsed in a taco-shape one day in a wind storm. It was remodeled after that, but it remained familiar in appearance. Now, it will be removed, since the property will be changing its name to. . .wait for it. . .LVH: Las Vegas Hotel & Casino! That's just so. Different. Or something. Anyway, goodbye LVH! And hello, LVH!

Current sign, image from 8NewsNow
Thanks to Stupid Monkey Planet for the link.

Source: 8NewsNow

A shot of the rubble after the collapse of the original sign.
Image from: July 20, 1994, edition of the Sun.
© LEE ZAICHICK / LAS VEGAS SUN FILE PHOTO

Amusing Stupid Monkey Headlines Appearing on 12/30/11

Today's amusing headlines come from around the web. Some are the funny "ha-ha" type whilst others are of the funny peculiar type. Enjoy.

"What the fuck?"
HEADLINES: 12/30/2011

• Perry slams surging Santorum as a 'prolific earmarker' - MSNBC

• A Santorum surge in Iowa? - MSNBC

• Investigations of the Year: What's In Your Egg McMuffin? - ABC

• Friends: Texas Gunman Was Mad Wife Doing Well - Fox News

• 385 Pounds of Caviar Found in Russian Morgue - Fox News

• Gingrich wants it both ways? - CNN (see below)

• Poll: Gingrich down, Santorum up - CNN

• 10 ways not to kill your book club - CNN

• Justin Bieber tops Kim Kardashian as most-searched - LA Times

• Man killed by train can be sued over bystander's injuries - LA Times

And believe it or not....
• Van Halen announces 2012 tour with David Lee Roth - CBS News

Frivolty Break: A Distraction...

While our Dear Editor is on his feasting, lazy, relaxing, pay-free vacation, I thought I should distract you for a moment.

Watch this video... It will suck you in & won't let go. Enjoy.

Like a train wreck


Monday, December 12, 2011

The Stupid Monkey Shares A Christmas Gift

Click Picture Make Boom Boom
Whilst our Dear Editor is busy with married life & pagan rituals I have decided to provide the millions of our readers with a distraction.

Here is a link to a site that has an item that can be used by one & all at one point or another. For stress relief... for laughs... for revenge... for fantasy... for fun... for whatever moment you need it.

Makes for a safe non-felonious way of having felonious fun.

Once you open the page just push the red button & enjoy. (HINT: It get's better as you click.)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! (FUCK YEAH!)

Manly explosions courtesy of The Old Spice Man. 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Please Visit Us on Facebook & Twitter




Ever since Greenlee Gazette began in June 2007, I've received valuable help from my good friend who goes by the pseudonym Stupid Monkey Planet. He fills in for me when I'm away, he descends from the canopy at irregular occasions to brighten up the blog, and he provides countless links that help me keep the blog fresh and interesting.

He has recently started the Stupid Monkey Planet Church of Primatheism on Facebook. There will be some crossover between SMPCoP and Greenlee Gazette both on Facebook and here on the blog. But you'll find countless bonuses on his site that do not appear here. 


But it's difficult to get these things moving in a vacuum, so here is an appeal to you to join us both in these other venues. Please click the links below to join us there. It only takes a few seconds! Thank you for reading, and please come back often!

  Follow GreenleeGazette on Twitter 

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

EXCLUSIVE: Rick Perry's First Presidential Application Was Rejected

Many of us have been made familiar with Rick Perry's memory lapses & his oft-repeated gaffes.
But did you know that his first attempt at filing his application for the presidency was rejected!?!?
He was unable to completely fill out the forms... Apparently, he had some trouble remembering a few things.

We've obtained some audio/video footage from a restaurant where Rick Perry & his staff were discussing the rejection notification. Obviously, they are attempting to clean things up before a big mess is made.

It provides a good insight into what Rick Perry is or may be... And may also help to explain some of the strange behavior.

The Rick! 2012!


SPOOOOOON!


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