Blast from the Past: Old Computer Commercials

Bill Cosby image from ComputerCloset.org

I'm going through some computer woes with my MacBook Pro (more about that later), so I have been running through my past experience with the dreaded beasts. My experience with computing goes back to the Commodore 64 if you're talking hands-on experience with keyboarded computers. Prior to that, I had some exposure to my uncle's Commodore Vic-20, and the early home gaming units like Sears Tele-Systems (Atari) Pong, and the RCA Studio II gaming console. Of course, after that I've had some experience with countless gaming systems, and numerous other computers, to the point that I'm considered something of a guru, though sadly not with the Apple iUniverse.

Back in the early days, everyone was a novice. And picking which system to align yourself with was all guesswork. Commodore won out for a long time--at least with home systems--but eventually collapsed. Strong contenders were Atari, Texas Instruments and Radio Shack, all of which eventually died off. But it was a fun time, and there's a reason I included gaming systems. . .there was significant cross-over between them and dedicated computers, to the point that they usually took gaming cartridges.  Here are some of the commercials from the days when computers were nerdier versions of video games. See if you remember them. Or if you're too young, see what you missed!

#1 - Commodore 64 - This was the best of the bunch. A computer console with a scant 64K of memory, but endless expandability and creativity. They pushed this baby as far as it could go, and it was wildly successful for many years.

#2 - Atari 400 - This is a generic ad for an Atari computer from 1981, probably the 400. Atari tried so hard to capitalize on their arcade and home video game successes with a home computer. But they never really caught on. Noble effort though, and a great commercial.



#3 - TRS-80 - This commercial is from a later model. Radio Shack's little computer chugged along for years on fumes. I remember a friend touting the superiority of his first-generation TRS 80 to our Commodore 64. The truth was, his TRaSh 80 was little more than half-step past Pong.

#4 - Texas Instruments TI99/4a - TI made it big with calculators, and so they tried to get in on the home computer craze. The case was cheesy, and the computer was lame. But they got Bill Cosby for their ad!

#5 - Coleco Adam - Adam was the logical outgrowth of the popular ColecoVision, and both systems had adapters for the Atari 2600 game cartridges. Probably was a victim--like the others--of trying too hard too soon. Technology just wasn't there to make these things practical workhorses.

#6 - Apple II - Apple probably got to where it is today by insinuating itself into schools early. Every school with a computer lab in the early 80s had the Apple II, Apple IIc, Apple IIe or Apple III. I knew nobody who had them at home, but this was right before the first Macintosh, and really is where they got their start as a known entity.

Sadly, I couldn't find commercials for other early computers like the Timex Sinclair, and after that they get pretty obscure anyway. Of course. Atari, Commodore, Radio Shack and Texas Instruments tried other models, and some were moderately successful for a while. But when first the Mac and then Windows caught on as home systems, it was all she wrote for these other guys.

So, that's it for this weekend's edition. Have a great week, everyone. Happy Monday!

Mac Bug Infects Hundreds of Thousands

Image from source, TPM, which is for some reason showing some
really old Macs. They don't age well, do they?

I'm on my second Mac, if my PowerBook counts (it didn't say "Mac" anywhere), in addition to my regular Intel PCs at home and at work. Other than brief ownership of an iPod Nano and the Apple IIe we used in high school, that's pretty much the sum total of my experience with Apple products. So far--though I'm pleased with my MacBook Pro, I'm just not in love. I don't understand the otherwordly allure the brand has for so many. No way in hell would I wait in line overnight for the latest iGizmo.

But the one thing Apple is supposed to promise is that their products are virtually impervious to viruses, adware and the like. It hasn't turned out that way, I have on two occasions landed on pages that I had to force quit my way out of (in one case, it took several reboots, and a freeware program to dispose of it). I'm starting to think that Cult of Mac fanatics are covering for Cupertino. Especially when you read this:

[Excerpt]


Mac Botnet Has Infected Over Half a Million Computers

A long time ago, one of the reasons to get a Macintosh computer was that there were few nasty viruses or other malicious junk floating around that could affect your machine. However, this kind of attitude can only lead to trouble and now the Russian security company Doctor Web says that one particular trojan called Backdoor.Flashback.39 has infected over 550,000 Apple computers. . .

Read more at: Talking Points Memo

First Mac Lesson Successful

Okay, first off, I wasn't trying to shoot the moon here. I thought that the best first test of my newish MacBook Pro was to make something that would be quick and easy for me on the PC with CorelDRAW.

Jinx in her favorite Christmas present.

So, I thought, why not LOLCats? Basically, all that is involved in that sort of graphic is a picture with text on top. You find a picture of a cat first. I had this one from my own cat under the Christmas tree.

Okay, that'll do. But what should it say?

"I CAN HAS BOX"

"WOT? DIS AINT DA BED U BOT ME?"

"TANKS FER XMUS PRESINT. JERBULLZ WUZ DELISHUS!"

"WOT? I'Z NOT TU FAT FER DIS BOX!"

Okay, you get the idea. A suitably pidgin English phrase wuz was all I needed.

Now, in CorelDRAW, I'd just paste the picture on the pasteboard, after copying from its location (in this case, Facebook). Will that work in Illustrator?

Picture pasted copying it from the internet and posting
onto the pasteboard in Adobe Illustrator CS5.

As it turns out, yes! In my previous Mac, such an action would have returned an error message. But it works in Adobe Illustrator CS5. Cool

Next, I had to type my message. Then, select the text and pick a font, in this case "Impact" will foot the bill. Then, assign an outline, and color the letters white. This is what most LOLCat pictures look like after all.

But I ran into a small problem. And to understand what it is, you sort have had to deal with vector graphics yourself.

The outline, when applied and thickened up tends to obscure the letter faces. As you can see in the next picture.

Yucky outline. Howz I ficks?

See, not too pretty, is it. In CorelDRAW, I would simply have applied the "behind fill" command, and possibly "scale with image," in case I wanted to change the size of the text, but keep the outline proportional. This is second-nature stuff to me in Corel, and even in Gerber Omega Composer, my sign software at work. But not so, at least as far as I can find in Illustrator.

No matter. I've worked with enough files from Mac artists to know that they cheat in their drawings to achieve the same effects that I apply the correct way! So, I simply copied the text, pasted in place--which I had to figure out how to do!--and removed the outline from the newly pasted text. Voila!

Voila!

Now, before you jump on me, I'm completely aware that this is a super-duper simple exercise, particularly for experienced Illustrator artists. In Corel, I could do the job in under three minutes, no problem. And in truth, it probably only took twice that long in Illustrator for me. But it goes to show you that you can apply knowledge from one program to a similar but different one. It will take more study to find out if "behind fill" and "scale with image" are features within Illustrator, and I just don't (yet) know where they are.

I will say that I much prefer the Corel/PC interface, having used it for so long. I love the dynamic toolbar in Corel, that puts all of your tools' variables in one simple toolbar, and changes them, depending upon which tool you're using. It's invaluable. It also may have a doppelgänger in Illustrator, and I just haven't found it.

For now, this satisfies my "must learn on the Mac" New Year's resolution, at least for today. Tomorrow, I'll try something a little more challenging. For now? I'z done. Now I can has cheezburger.

Incidentally, this operation would have taken an interminable amount of time on my old PowerBook. With the MacBook Pro, I was running iTunes (Adele's 21), PhotoShop, Adobe Illustrator and Safari, all at once, and toggling between them. There was no performance lag, no "spinning beach ball of death." It works. So I can say without reservation that 2011's four-year-old Mac is a much more useable than 2009's five-year-old Mac! Don't buy a PowerBook on eBay under any circumstances (I can say this now that mine sold!).

My Newer (But Still Old) MacBook Pro

Right in the middle of Christmas shopping, and other holiday obligations, I developed an obsession with replacing my decrepit first Mac, an old PowerBook G4 15. It was in its day--January 2005--a top of the line machine. But bargain basement PCs of the same era could run rings around it. The whole point of getting a Mac laptop was to learn it, particularly the Adobe suite of graphics software. With the PowerBook's slowness, it just wasn't possible.

Yes, Travis, this is the one I got. Yours is better. Got it.

So, I was on a quest. I didn't want a $1000 - $2500 system, especially not so recently after my $800 PC purchase. So, my eBay quest was for a MacBook Pro before the redesign of late 2008. Those are insanely  expensive for used computers. So, the target window was 2006-2008. I lost several sales, and was relieved when I started to notice the processor speeds. But I got a little obsessed, and put a bid on one with everything I wanted, but had a few flaws.

I panicked when nobody bid against me in the waning minutes of the auction. But once it sunk in that I'd won it, I made a plan. I posted my old Mac, my old PC laptop and some software on eBay, and they ended up selling for almost the same amount as what I paid. Wonderful. I tracked the shipment, and was dismayed when it arrived in Las Vegas on Friday night, but would not arrive until Monday.

But now it's Monday! My computer arrived and, a) the flaws in the finish were much less objectionable than they'd appeared in the photo, b) the computer is much, much faster than the old one, c) the computer has much more software on it than advertised, d) the power cable was brand new, and gleaming white, and e) it has un-advertised flaw: some bright-spots in the display that look like eyeball floaters.

I think I'll get used to  them, but it's slightly irritating. It is outweighed though, by the improvement over the old one! Here I am, blogging. That was nearly impossible with the old one. Should even an aging top-of-the-line Mac fail at blogging? Well, what a difference three years makes, I guess. It makes me wonder though, if this one will become a doorstop in three more years. Guess I'll find out.

SIDEBAR: This is an aside to any Cult of Mac-ers out there. My quest for a new(er) Mac was very, very illuminating. It would seem that Macs are not immune to problems. In fact, the number of damaged, broken, troubled used Macs for sale online is higher than the good ones. Screen troubles, drive troubles, clasp troubles, battery troubles, "for parts only". . . Apple's dirty secret is out! Not only that, their users have a habit of denting, breaking and just basically knocking the crap out of their computers!  And then they want the frickin' moon when it comes to resale value!

And then there was my attempt to make a CD-backup of Lion after I installed it. I went to several sites, all of which told me to find the Lion Installer program. Which doesn't exist. This process is--so far--exactly like trying to do a similar thing on a PC. Except, on a PC I generally know what to do! 

Rewind: Apple's Keyboardless Mac (The Onion)

For some reason, an old post I put up from The Onion has been gathering hits today. I couldn't remember the clip, so I just watched it.  It holds up a year and a half later, and is funnier after having actually gotten an iPod and a Mac laptop.

My Applephobia has taken a slight turn. After familiarizing myself with Mac OS X, and iTunes and whatnot, I'm not as allergic to the whole iExperience anymore. But I do still find the alleged "intuitiveness" of iProducts to be vastly overstated, and the cultish behavior of Cult of Mac enthusiasts to be at turns fascinating, amusing and sad. But who knows. I could still get sucked in. . .

Is Microsoft's Windows 8 Cribbing from Apple?

Image from source, CNN

Ugh. I hope not. I don't need any Macification, I really don't. Too shiny, happy, simplified, blecch.  Though I WOULD like to see my laptop wake up faster. 'Course it's a Celeron, so it may not even run Windows 8.  Ah, progress.

[Excerpt]

Windows 8 leaks show Microsoft's eyes on Apple

Although still early in the process, newly leaked documents about Windows 8 offer some keen insight into where Microsoft wants to head with the next version of the operating system.



One thing that is made abundantly clear is that Microsoft has been paying attention to Apple. In the documents, which appear to come from an April meeting with computer makers, Microsoft discusses its Cupertino, California-based rival and outlines plans to offer a Windows Store similar to the way Apple distributes software on its iPhone. . .

Read more at: CNN

Apple's New Keyboardless Computer (The Onion)

I didn't really want to leave a fart post up as my big entry post of the day, so I had to find something else to start the front page! And believe me, at 11:38 PM on a school night, I'm not very inspired. So how about a little Apple-bashing?

This video is from The Onion, poking fun at the over-simplification of Apple products. I myself--an admitted Apple-phobe (Mac-phobe, if you prefer) have been stymied by Apple products on the rare occasions when I've had to use them. I remember asking a Kinko's employee how to get my disk back one time, and getting the (eyerolling) response, "Just drag it to the trash can!" Well, on a PC, that would DELETE the disk! Which makes much more intuitive sense. But Macophiles find that to be "intuitive." As would the product in this video. . .

iMac with No Keyboard

Mac Or PC Rap (Ad Parody)

Are you a Mac or a PC? I'm unapologetically PC. From the old Amstrad 8088 with CGA screen and two 5.25" floppy drives, on up through the dual-core with Windows Vista, it's all I've used. And I'm a graphic artist, believe it or not. It ain't the tools, it's the user that is important!

I probably wouldn't be so "Mac-phobic" were it not for the snooty "I'm better than you are" attitude I've gotten from countless Mac users over the years. Still, the current ad campaign with John Hodgeman and Justin Long as the PC and Mac are a lot of fun. Sure, it casts the PC as a nerd, and the Mac as a cool guy, but come on. Long might be cute, but he's still "nerd cute."

Anyway, the ad campaign has inspired quite a few parodies. This one, which I just found on Bloggasm is pretty funny. Enjoy.

New from Apple: The Mactini, the World's Smallest Computer

No, it's not for real, but it is funny!

Apple Macintosh-style "No on Prop 8" Ads

I try not to use the same source more than once on any given day on this blog, in an effort to keep the material diverse. I mean, if you want to read a site I'm excerpting, you'll read it yourself, right? And I also try not to focus too much attention on one subject, also to keep the material diverse.

But this subject has a shelf life. Proposition 8 in California comes up for a vote in a couple of weeks, and has the potential to end existing marriages, such as my own. Something about that just doesn't seem right, fair, or particularly American. So, I'm breaking a couple of rules here.

This batch of four videos against Proposition 8 are parodies of the famous "I'm a PC/I'm a Mac" ads, and are exceptionally well done. And a dose of Margaret Cho doesn't hurt. Take a look, even if you aren't from California.

Source: Towleroad

Bill Gates Leaves Microsoft

Image from source, Breitbart

I started using computers around 1989 (unless you count the Commodore 64, which puts the date at about 1982). I started on an AMSTRAD IBM-clone, with no hard drive, two 5.25" floppy slots, and a CGA screen, which means very limited color. All of this was run on a version of Microsoft's MS-DOS. As computers advanced, and the company I worked for grew, we were soon using a 386-DX with a VGA screen, 20 Megabyte hard drive, Microsoft Windows 3.0, CorelDRAW 2 and PageMaker 3! Woo-hoo, the big leagues!

I give you this brief history only to illustrate that my computer experience has always been based on my knowledge of Microsoft operating systems. I've never understood the hostility some people hold for Microsoft, and have usually enjoyed rolling up my sleeves and tinkering with the software (as well as the hardware). And even as a graphic artist, I have zero affinity for Apple Macintoshes--largely due to the condescending attitudes of Mac users I've had to deal with.

So, Bill Gates has always been--what--not an idol or hero, exactly, but an inspirational figure to me. I mean, say what you will about him, he truly embodies the American dream. Starting a multi-billion dollar business in your garage? Sure, Steve Jobs did that too, but big deal (kidding, Mac cult, don't put a hit on me).

Some of Gates' tactics are a bit troubling. I mean, he basically stole MS-DOS, and sold people on Windows before the thing was even invented. It's a little like selling a war by bending the facts to fit your story. . . OK, that is too harsh. Nobody is that awful, right?

[Excerpt]

Bill Gates surrendering Microsoft helm

A Harvard University dropout who ushered in the home computer age and made billions of dollars along the way will have his last official day of work at Microsoft on June 27.

Three people will essentially fill the void left behind when Bill Gates retires from the company he and friend Paul Allen co-founded in 1975. . .

Read more at: Breitbart

Lonovo ThinkPad Ad Parodies Mac Air

We've all seen the Mac Air notebook computer ad, with the super-skinny computer being inserted into an inter-office mail envelope. Why you'd want to do that isn't discussed, but it's a nifty image. And the ad's theme song, New Soul by Yael Naim, is an earwig that you can't dig out of your head.

But as a MacPhobe, I'm more than a little irritated by the "cooler than you" feel of Apple's advertising as well as their products. There seems to be an inescapable arrogance to the Cult of Mac. So what a relief it is to see the above mentioned ad parodied--not by some random YouTuber--but by a company in competition with Apple.

Lenovo shows us the limitations of the Mac Air--limitations its computer overcomes. If Lenovo doesn't sound familiar, their ThinkPad computer should. It used to be produced by IBM. Enjoy.

Cult of Mac: iDon't Get It

Photo from source, Cult of Mac

Despite the group of posts I've written about difficulties with PCs--usually under the banner "Computer Woes," I still don't get the Cult of Macintosh. Sure, Macs probably are easier to configure, and have less problems overall. Some of them are very pretty (though certainly not all--remember the toilet seat notebook?).

It's strange that I have such MacPhobia (iPhobia?). I'm usually a sucker for the underdog. Part of it is the air of superiority many Mac users display. Also, there is a lack of options; the monitor is often attached, or part of the case. I like options. But mostly, I think it's the over-simplification. I don't want my hand held by my computer. I like to roll up my sleeves, and tweak and change things.

I grumble and grouse a lot about getting under the hood of my computer, but the truth is, on some level I really like it. I'm thought of as something of a guru when it comes to computers, even though my powers are waning, with the speed of technological improvements. But in the (supposedly unlikely) event that a Mac breaks down, most of its users would be forced to iTrek to the Apple Store. Me, I take the sucker apart and fix it.

Lastly, I don't want to be forced into using (ugh) Adobe graphics products. iCan't stand them. I'm aware they're the "standard," but that doesn't make them better in my book. All of it is personal preference. I suppose I can take refuge in the fact that this whole Cult of Mac thing is deliriously silly. Next time a Mac addict gets high and mighty with me, I'm just going to point and laugh. See what I mean, here: