The Crisis of Our Era: Coke Zero Replaced by Coke Zero Sugar

So, it wasn't the crisis in Korea that spurred me to interrupt my vacation/retirement from blogging. It wasn't any other Trump insanity (after all, it's a challenge to find just one thing to bitch about there on any given day). No, it's the crisis of my tastebuds, and the willingness of big corporations, notably Coca-Cola, to screw around with them.

We went through this with NEW Coke! back in the 1980s, and it was a bad idea then. But Coke Zero, the company's alternative "more like real Coke" diet beverage was never the institution that the flagship brand, or even Diet Coke is. It's the difference between doing a remake of Friday the 13th vs. Gone With the Wind. With Coke Zero, you're not messing with a literal classic.

But, then again, people get wedded to their favorite beverages. I was always a Pepsi-Cola guy, dating way back. Even now, I prefer old Pepsi stuff to collectible Coke stuff. But when my youthful metabolism crashed into a tree, I had to switch to diet soda, if I was going to stay soda at all. And as a big soft drink drinker, I was.  But which one?

Growing up, there weren't many choices at all for my parents, facing a similar dilemma. You had basically, diet cola, or diet lemon-lime, whatever brand of each you preferred. That was about it. And they always tasted weird, not at all like the real thing, especially the colas. Diet Rite (the RC Cola derivative) was the cheap one and tasted like it. Diet Pepsi was the go-to diet soda, with some competition from Tab (the Coke variety), and there was the odd Fresca drinker, I suppose. All of them, to me, tasted like--as Bloom County once put it--like malted battery acid.

In the early 1980s, Diet Coke was released, and a whole new addiction swept America. I never really understood this, as it had all the flaws of the other diet colas. In fact, if forced, I'd choose Diet Pepsi over it. But they all just had that hollow feel, empty of something, with a strange aftertaste, almost metallic. I'd reach for literally any other diet beverage. Luckily for me, they were in the wings. Diet Mountain Dew was released, and was actually good. Better than the real deal, as far as I was concerned, which is sickeningly sweet. Diet Dr. Pepper was not bad, though trended more toward the colas with its ineffable emptiness. But there started to be more variety, and avoiding diet colas while getting diet soda wasn't difficult.

Then came the alternative colas. Pepsi One, Pepsi MAX, and Coke Zero. Coke Zero was it for me. By far the best diet cola on the market. To me, it was almost indistinguishable from full-sugar Coca-Cola, except that it didn't feel like you put little fuzzy sugar-socks on your teeth afterward. None of the tinniness, and thinness of taste at all. No particular aftertaste. I've loved Coke Zero ever since, and it holds a tie for number two in my list with Diet Mountain Dew. Code Red Diet Mountain Dew holds the number one spot, but it's hard to find.

Anyway, that's a long way to go to get to the meat of this story. I found out a week or two ago that Coke was discontinuing Coca-Cola Zero in favor of something new called Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. Which in and of itself is kind of odd, given that Pepsi replaced Pepsi MAX with Pepsi Zero Sugar some time ago. So, it's strange that they'd have virtually the same name, but whatever. Point was, one of my truly favorite drinks was going away, and being replaced by an unknown quantity.
So, I saw some today, and picked it up for a taste test.

I poured both over ice, got some nice strong cheese to nibble in between, and here are my findings...

Coke Zero: Full-bodied, with a bit of a bite. Sweet but not too sweet. No syrupy feel afterward, but no particular aftertaste. An excellent "Coke" flavor, without the stickiness, I still love it.

Coke Zero Sugar: Less full-bodied, less bite. Still sweet, but less robust. Maybe a slightly closer feel to having sugary soda in your mouth, so I think maybe an even better disguising of artificial sweetener. Seems less carbonated, so by contrast, flatter. Still miles ahead of Diet Coke.

Conclusion: As Dom DeLuise said as Caesar in History of the World, Part I,

"Nice. Nice. Not thrilling, but nice."




I can't say it's an improvement overall. It's sort of a lateral move, with a possible half-step back. Given the choice (which I'm not going to have), I'd take the original Coke Zero. As it stands, I'm sure I'll buy the new version if Coke is on sale as a brand, just like I do with the current version. But I can't say I'd reach for it as quickly, if that makes any sense. I might grab a Fresca or a Diet Barq's carton just as fast. I think it's fallen out of my top two. So, Coca-Cola Corporation, if you're listening? I prefer the old version. And I'm hoping the caffeine free one stays around a little while, because it's just as good!

Long story short (I know, too late), it's not the disaster that NEW Coke was. But it will make some people a little sad.

Blast from the Past: Diet Sodas of the 70s, 80s & 90s

Do you ever listen to a gasbag like Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity, and ask yourself, "Just who IS this guy, and why is he qualified to have this opinion?" Yeah me too. Which is why I haven't sounded off too much about the big stories of the past few weeks. Wisconsin and the protests against GOP overreach, sure, I don't think I'm stepping out of my zone so much for that. But Egypt? Libya? Earthquakes? Tsunamis? Nuclear freaking meltdown? I can comment on all of them, but I'm having trouble sounding off, you know?

So, it's good that it's time for Blast from the Past, a weekly feature that is pure frivolity, with a dash of nostalgia. And I was inspired by my previous post on diet sodas. You can't get more frivolous--or onto a topic I know more about--than that! Oh, I've done a Blast from the Past on the subject of sodas before. But I promise to find some I haven't used before.





#1 Diet Mountain Dew - My favorite diet soda was introduced in the 80s, and just in time for my metabolism to implode. For some reason, Mountain Dew (original AND diet) were considered EXTREME!!! Whatever, it just tastes good.

#2 Diet Shasta - Somewhere between a store brand and the generic white can with black letters that says "soda," was this low-rent brand. When you bought it, you hid it in a cozy or poured it and threw away the can.

#3 Diet Sprite - This 80s commercial, starring a pre-famous Sharon Stone shows the leading diet soda that WASN'T a cola. Before Diet Dew, there wasn't much else, except the rarely found Fresca. Speaking of which. . .

#4 Fresca - There aren't many Fresca commercials to find, and there wasn't much Fresca to find either, for a lot of years. It was as rare as TaB. And that brings us to. . .

#5 TaB - TaB's got sass! And Lyle from Blazing Saddles! This isn't my favorite TaB commercial, but I've used the other one before, so. . .

#6 Diet Slice - Yeah, "We Got the Juice!" might not be the best slogan when using a bunch of baseball players. But what did they know, it was the 80s!

#7 TaB again - What the hell, I love this jingle.



Happy Monday!

Diet Soda Taste Test: Citrus Blast, Mountain Dew Supernova & Voltage

I've been a big soda pop (back in Ohio, just "pop") drinker since I have been old enough to buy it. Somewhere in the late 80s, I had to switch to diet soda (damn that metabolism!). This was a little distressing, because I mostly hated artificial sweetener, and particularly diet colas. Luckily for me, the soda companies began branching out from colas and lemon/limes with their diet versions about the time my metabolism crashed. It didn't hurt that NutraSweet and other artificial sweeteners began their debut around about the same time.

I started my love affair with Diet Mountain Dew, and tried many and varied diet sodas along the way. Eventually, I could even tolerate Diet Pepsi, Diet Coke, Tab and the many other cola varieties. Of them all, the only ones I outright avoid are the diet sodas with faux vanilla flavoring. Invariably, I find them nearly undrinkable. Most of the rest make their way into my regular rotation of diet drinks. I'm one of the lucky ones who doesn't care if it is Coke, Pepsi or 7-Up/Dr. Pepper brands that are on sale. 

But I do get restless. When Pepsi's Mountain Dew came out with Diet Code Red, I was very pleased. Not only was it something new, I also really liked it. But then I watched as they released flavor after tantalizing flavor of the sugary (corn syrupy?) Dews, with no diet version. I was very jealous of the full-calorie soda drinkers, cavities and pot bellies or not. But I find full-calorie Mountain Dew varieties insufferably sweet anyway.  In the mean time, Coke's Fresca came out with some varieties like peach and cherry. Pepsi started making Diet Orange Crush again. Coke made Diet Squirt. Somebody or other came out with Diet Sun Drop. All worthy additions.

But today at Von's, I spied three new diet sodas, all from Pepsi (and all on sale). I bought them all, and decided to do a taste test. Each of the sodas was poured over ice, and allowed to sit in the glass for only a few minutes. I ate a piece of cheddar cheese before each, so that I'd start at the same relative state. Below are my findings.

Diet Citrus Blast: This soda is apparently Pepsi's attempt to rival Fresca or Squirt in the citrus/grapefruit soda realm. It's a worthy entry, certainly better than store brands of grapefruit soda. It has slightly more bite than Fresca, but less overt fizziness than Squirt. There is no discernible "diet" aftertaste, and it is quite quenching. It doesn't set itself apart, and won't be a "top 5" favorite, but it's good.

Diet Mountain Dew Supernova: Supernova is reddish purple, and is billed as a "strawberry/melon" flavored soda. It's very sweet, if a bit less so than the Code Red version of Mountain Dew. I could taste the strawberry. . .ish. Any "melon" flavor would be of the Jolly Rancher faux watermelon variety. It actually reminded me of the flavors you might find in a melted freezer pop. . .which brings me to. . .

Diet Mountain Dew Voltage: Voltage--which might get them into trouble because of Coca-Cola's sub-par Volt beverage (nope, I was confused, that's Vault soda)--is light blue in color. It is billed as a raspberry/citrus flavor (blue raspberries?). While the drink is quenching, it has an indistinct, vague flavor problem. Again, it reminds me of the freeze pop example, with a hard to pinpoint "fruit" flavor. It's a fruit, but what's the fruit?

Supernova Voltage Blast "Suicide": Since I had three cans of soda opened, I finished them off as a "suicide" mixture of all three. You know what? It only suffers in comparison to Citrus Blast. As a combination, it is still a mixture of indistinct flavors.

None of the sodas is bad. In fact, should they stick around, I'll probably continue to buy them if they're on sale, if for no other reason than to give me options when I want a soda. Of the three, only Diet Citrus Blast will make it into regular rotation. But even it suffers from the Pepsi Syndrome: sodas named so generically, they could be store brands (see: Sierra Mist, Slice, Storm, Teem). 

Anyway, log story short, enjoy them while they last, I doubt that the Dew varieties will last long, and I wouldn't get attached to the generically named Citrus Blast either. But any or all of them would mix just fine with vodka. But then again, what doesn't?

The best diet drinks for me are in this order:

- Diet Mountain Dew (and if in a pinch, most store brand version like Kroger's Diet Citrus Drop)
- Diet Mountain Dew Code Red
- Diet Orange Crush (and Diet Orange Sunkist, though it has caffeine)
- Coke Zero (tastes very much like Coca-Cola Classic)
- Fresca (original and peach)
- These new Mountain Dews will slot right here in the middle, for novelty value alone
- Tab
- Diet Coke with Lime (or slightly less so, Diet Pepsi Lime)
- Lemon/Limes, like 7-Up, Sprite Zero (pretty good), Diet Sierra Mist (several varieties)
- Assorted oddballs like Diet Rite White Grape, Tangerine, Raspberry, etc.
- Assorted flavors like diet root beers, diet ginger ales, diet cream sodas, many brands
- The rest of the diet colas, regular or with cherry round up the lower end of my scale
- Just say "no" to any variety with vanilla

Blast from the Past: Soda Pop Commercials!

I've been blogging for over 3 years, and I know a lot of readers I have today never read the blog when I started. So, I decided to rerun a few of my favorites (with updates, of course).  I ran this post a long time ago, and since then, several of the videos disappeared from the YouTubes. So, I've made a replacement here and there.  See how many of these you remember.

Old soda pop brands have been reappearing in the grocery store, lately. Fresca never really went away, and  comes in different flavors now, but it's still sort of a niche product. And Tab has come back, at least to Las Vegas. I'm a big soda drinker, so it is fortunate that I only drink the diet versions. Unless the rumors are true about the various artificial sweeteners. Then I'm screwed. But I'm not sure there is anything worse than high-fructose corn syrup.

I did some searching for classic soda commercials when the old Tab jingle started to ring in my head (probably a side effect of those sweeteners). I found a lot of them, though was unsuccessful finding "RC 100" (RC 100 percent! You'll wonder where caffeine went! RC 100 regular and sugar free!). Here are some of the better ones.






1. Tab - Before there was Diet Coke, there was Tab. What a beautiful drink!  If you want a trippy experience, look at a can of Tab with a pair of red and blue 3D glasses on!

2. Fresca - I thought this soda was gross when I was little. Love it now, particularly the peach flavor.  Mixes great with vodka (vitamin V) too!

3. RC Cola - The undisputed loser of the 80s cola wars is RC Cola, which has forever more been an also-ran. But back in the 70s, it looked like they still might have a shot. "Me and my RC" was almost as big as "Be a Pepper!"  This commercial predates that slogan, but the RC in a circle logo was brand new then, and it's BACK now!

4. Shasta - I want a pop! Shasta is these days regarded as half a step above store-brand. But back in the 80s, they had a big push with this ad, which I didn't remember as quite so loaded with beefcake. But there it is. This has to be one of the earliest examples of mainstream homoeroticsm. . .but that's just my opinion.

5. Diet Pepsi - This song, "Now You See It, Now You Don't" is probably the Pepsico's best jingle ever for the brand. Very catchy. They should really bring it back, don'tcha think?

6. Slice - "We've Got the Juice!" Yes, they were toying with 10% fruit juice formulations back in the 80s, and Pepsi was still searching for a lemon-lime brand that would stick. It didn't (we have Sierra Mist now). My favorite slice flavor was apple, which I wish they'd bring back.

7. Dr. Pepper - You can't do a piece on retro soda ads without David (An American Werewolf in London) Naughton's  "I'm a Pepper!" It really was a craze.

8. 7Up - One of the better ads of the bunch, with musical styles through the decades. They ought to redo this one, with 80s, 90s, and 00s music styles.

Addition to My Diet Soda Addiction: TAB!

Photo from source, Wikipedia

If artificial sweetener is truly a harmful substance, I'm in big, big trouble. They're using quite a variety of them lately, and producing a lot of very tasty diet sodas. And I'm addicted to diet soda.

I used to be a confirmed Pepsi drinker, full-sugar variety. But that was many years ago, when my metabolism allowed me to eat or drink most anything. Lucky for me, right about the time I had to start watching my weight, soda makers started making some more interesting diet versions. I used to really hate diet colas. I was so used to Pepsi, Coke and RC, and the diet versions didn't taste anything like them. Diet Sprite and Diet 7UP were ok, but kinda boring. Then came my favorite, Diet Mountain Dew.

I didn't know it at the time, but Mountain Dew has a horrible reputation in the Midwest as a hillbilly drink. And it isn't unfounded, if 20/20 is to be believed. But out here in Las Vegas, fortunately, what soda you drink doesn't define your personality. And if it did, mine would be all over the place. I have my favorites, but tend to buy what is on sale. Soda prices have gone way up for some reason, so it's good to be flexible. I'll even buy store brands, if they're tasty.

Today, I found that Coke products were on sale. So as I was digging through the stack to find Fresca Peach Citrus, I also found Tab! Tab and Fresca were both pioneers of diet sodas, dating back to the 60s. Fresca has been back on our shelves for years, with new flavors, but I haven't seen Tab in years.

I eventually warmed (cooled?) to diet colas, but they usually aren't my first choice. Even here, there are lots of options these days. My favorites are the ones with lime, or the "alternate" diet versions of Coke and Pepsi, with different sweeteners. Oh, and Tab is a pretty great diet cola too.

Anyway, for no other reason than it's a lazy weekend, here are my rankings of diet soda varieties. And remember, however "dangerous" artificial sweeteners are, I'll take the risk over high-fructose corn syrup any day.

Best: Diet Mountain Dew, Diet Mountain Dew Code Red, Fresca Peach Citrus, Coca-Cola Zero, Diet Pepsi Lime, Diet Coke Lime, Diet Cherry 7UP, Diet Sierra Mist Ruby Splash, Tab.

Good: Diet Sierra Mist, Diet Vernors, Diet Orange Crush, Diet Sunkist, Diet 7UP, Diet Sprite, Fresca Sparkling Citrus, Fresca Black Cherry, Diet Citrus Drop (Kroger), Diet Pepsi, Diet Coke, Pepsi One, Pepsi Max, Diet Rite (multiple flavors).

So-so: Any caffeine-free variety of diet cola, any Kroger (Big K) or Safeway (Vons) flavor. Cherry versions of Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Pepsi and Diet Coke.

Yuck: Vanilla anything. Cherry/vanilla anything. Energy drinks, particularly RockStar (for its owner, Michael Weiner Savage). Store versions of Dr. Pepper.

How's that Whole Pepsi Re-Branding Going?

A while back, I ran a post about Pepsi-Cola's new logo designs, and my dislike for it. As I pointed out back then--and I found out that it wasn't an entirely original observation--Pepsi's new logo kind of looks like a refrigerator repair man's muffin top.

I've been a Pepsi fan for a long time, though I like Coca-Cola's products too. Over the years, I've had many different Pepsi items, with lots of different logos. Almost all of those logos featured some variation of the famous "yin-yang" Pepsi ball. With the new logo, the old ball is gone, replaced with a very strange looking "smile" ball, with various sizes of grin depending upon the version of Pepsi you're drinking.

I've already given my reasons for disliking the logo. I've even already linked to the page excerpted below, with other peoples' opinions. But since then, there has been a bubbling over (heh) of opinion, most of it overwhelmingly negative. Also included are negative reactions of the new Sierra Mist, and the Mountain Mtn Dew. And they don't much like the new bottle shape, either.

[Excerpts]

"I'm sorry, Pepsi, but I hate your new logo and label design. . .the "Clean" look is "in" right now, but so were bell bottoms, followed by tapered jeans, then it was super baggy. Don't just become "another clean designed brand". Do something new and exciting. These logos are awful."

"Ughh. I kinda like the font, but the Pepsi logo drives me crazy! the white bands are drawn awkwardly- slightly wonky- It looks like first year design student work. The bottle design looks like the gut of a person that drinks their product. ick."

"This looks like bad student mock-ups, and I wouldn't hire the kid."

"I'm sitting here for some god forsaken reason, reading everyone's rants on the logo change...and for the life of me I don't see the f**king smile...really...who smiles like that anyway? And yes, the bottle definately = wrinkly penis!"

"Haha. Nice joke PepsiCO. Now get back to the old design."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Read (much) more at: BrandNew

Blast from the Past: Classic Commercials #2

OK, time for some fun again. Children of the 70s (and more than a few adults) will probably get a chuckle or two and a wistful memory from all of the commercials in this batch of buried memories.

First up: A Pepsi commercial from the early 70s that introduced the concept of the "Pepsi Generation." Sing along! "We're the Pepsi people, feelin' free, feelin' free. . ."

Second: Rival cola maker Coca-cola made big waves (and sales) with this very early 70s commercial, featuring the Hillside Singers. "I'd like to buy the world a Coke. . ."

Third: Brilliant marketing strategy: get your buyers to sing the contents of your sandwich. This McDonald's commercial taught us, "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!" A later commercial challenged you to sing it backwards.

And last, the introduction of reconstituted, dehydrated potato-chip-like snack food, Pringles "Newfangled" Potato Chips. Check out the costumes, hair and sound effects. I do not remember the 70s this way!

Blast from the Past: Vintage Commercials

It's amazing how pop-culture can infiltrate your brain. Haven't you ever caught yourself singing a ditty, only to realize it's a commercial? Some of these commercials can be just as powerful in our memories as any TV show or movie or classic rock tune.

Here are some of the ones that litter my brain. First up, the Oscar Meyer bologna kid. Next, a classic Diet Pepsi ad, you probably don't remember that you remember. Then we have two classic 80s Wendy's commercials--they must have had a great advertising agency. Enjoy

UPDATE: For some reason, the Diet Pepsi ad ("Now You See It, Now You Don't"), arguably the best ad in the bunch, is no longer available. In it's place, I have substituted "Me and My RC."