I Has a Sad: Fresh & Easy May Close or Sell

Fresh  & Easy Down & Out? Image from source.

Well, poop. Fresh & Easy is a grocery store chain that has become a favorite of mine. They're in an unusual niche between a Whole Foods and a Trader Joe's, with a dash of a small, urban grocery. They have a limited selection, and it took me a while to figure out quite what they were. But once you figure out what they specialize in, it becomes a real treat. They've got consistent, low prices on hamburger, cheeses and limited produce. They have a wide variety of prepared, plated meals--fresh, not frozen--perfect for grabbing on your way to work for lunch, or for an easy dinner on your way home. When they have sales on things like hams, I make a special trip. When I'm getting my hair cut next door, I invariably stop in to see what goodies I can find. They also have a markdown area that can yield amazing deals on all of the above.

So, I'm hopeful that the corporate parent finds a buyer who retains the character and products that Fresh & Easy currently carries. They may not be paying off for share holders, but they've got a lot of fans, particularly here in Las Vegas.

[Excerpt]

Tesco may sell all Fresh & Easy stores

British supermarket giant Tesco may soon be bidding bon voyage to its American problem child.
Five years after the company landed in California and opened 200 stores across the West, Tesco said it is preparing to sell its struggling Fresh & Easy Neighborhood Market chain and retreat from the U.S. market altogether. . .

Read more at: Los Angeles Times

Photo of the Day: Eyebrows Threading

I'm becoming more and more obsessed with the Fresh & Easy market, and their daily markdown section. I was dubious of this quirky grocery when they first opened, thinking it was like Trader Joe's without the artsy-fartsy. But it's grown on me, and I'm glad that they've survived. Other stores in the same shopping center have not been so lucky, with most of the original tenants having gone out of business. But in a sign of a (hopefully) rebounding economy, most have been replaced. Oddly though, the new business are distinctly. . .well. . .odd. There's a restaurant called C R Buns. Yes, really. There's a hookah bar. And then there is the establishment with the grammatically incorrect sign in the picture at left. I'm not sure what "eyebrow threading" actually is, but I'm quite sure it isn't Eyebrows Threading.  And a pox on the cowardly sign company that didn't correct this for them. At least there isn't an apostrophe.

Investigative Report: The Incredible Shrinking Groceries, Part 1 (Coffee)

I don't know if you've been paying attention, but our groceries are shrinking. You could be forgiven for missing it, though. Because the manufacturers are tricking us. Well, duh, they've been tricking us for years with advertising. But now what they're doing is selling us smaller and smaller amounts of product, but making it look like we're buying the same thing. This is just part one of (I hope) a multi-part series, should I be able to gather more evidence (and keep interest!). This is the only example that I'm aware of that I have in my house, and since this is the first thing I've noticed myself, I thought I'd start with it.

I've seen newspaper articles about--in particular--Tropicana orange juice. They make a slightly smaller than half-gallon of juice in a container that looks pretty much the same. So they can sell you 59 ounces or so for the price of 64 ounces (or shoot, the price might even have gone up!). A half gallon of ice cream became 1.75 quarts, and is now usually 1.5 quarts (but the packages got more creatively shaped). They do it with bars of soap, by molding them into a more hour-glassy shape. They do it with lotions and makeup with fancy, curvy bottles. But what do you do when the package is really common?

With coffee, the manufacturers long ago discovered we could be unobservant about what we're buying. The three pound can of coffee is long gone, having dropped in ounces drastically over the years. But the can size--roughly--is still with us.  I just had no idea how far down that 48 ounces has dropped. I decided to take out the last three cans of coffee I've bought: a half-caf one, the one that I just emptied, and the new one I bought this week. The Maxwell House half-caf one could--as a specialty blend--be forgiven for being a little less than usual. It was 34.5 ounces. That's quite a bit less than three pounds. But maybe it is the standard, since the can I just finished, a Kroger brand was just the same.

But, ho! Look here! The new "Great Value" (Walmart) can I bought just a couple of days ago turns out to not be a great value at all. 27.8 ounces. Twenty-seven point eight friggin' ounces! Can you believe that? It's dropped below two pounds (32 ounces), and it's still in a three-pound can! That takes chutzpah! I can tell you this: I've been letting it slide before, but I'm going to be watching my coffee purchases from now on. If there's an ounce-to-dollars comparison available, I'm definitely going to make it. I hate being ripped off, and I hate being swindled. That's what this is. By packaging these things like they're the same, but dropping the content, they're deliberately tricking all of us. And that sucks.

I'm going to try to continue this as a series. And I'm going to have to think up examples to check out. The one thing I've thought of that would be extremely difficult to change without people noticing is liquid beverages. Sodas, sure. We're used to their sizes, but they're so cheap to make, it isn't probably necessary to rip us off there. But what about alcohol?  There's no way you're going to change the size of a bottle of hooch, and not have us boozers crying foul! But guess what I noticed? My new bottle of Smirnoff has a different aerator in it, one that lets the vodka slosh out faster than it used to. I'm positive it isn't my (hic) imagination. . .

Puzzling Products: Asian Helper?

Last week, I was sent on a mission with a fistful of coupons to score some deals at the neighborhood grocery.  Not being the kind of guy who usually remembers to use coupons before they expire, I was given explicit instructions by The Other Half to get this stuff before the 3-day sale was over.  On the list was any of a selection of "Helper" products by Betty Crocker.  Now, we're usually from scratch cookers, but it is nice to have some packaged stuff on the shelf for when you're feeling kind of lazy.

When I got to the store, I noticed that the Helper products have gotten new packaging recently. As a graphic artist, I often pay attention to new packaging, observing the gradual or even drastic changes that are made to familiar products.  Sometimes they do it to update a stodgy image, sometimes they revert to a "retro" look.  The Helper line just got kinda weird.

Hamburger Helper was introduced way back in 1971, kind of the heyday of packaged, instant dinners.  Usually, the package includes a starch (dehydrated potatoes or pasta), along with a dehydrated sauce packet, and sometimes a topping packet.  "Hamburger Helper helped her hamburger help her make a great meal!" was the slogan, and the cute little four-fingered hand character helped sell it.  Eventually, Tuna Helper and Chicken Helper joined the lineup, along with other spinoffs.  But in the name, you had the basic thing the product did:  help hamburger, help chicken, help tuna become something interesting for dinner.

The new designs just sound weird to me.  For instance, one package I bought was called Wholesome Hamburger Helper Stroganoff.  "Hamburger" looks like an afterthought on the package, making it read "Wholesome Helper."  WTF?  It helps wholesomeness?  It gets worse.  The other package I picked up was called Asian Chicken Helper Chicken Fried Rice.  Which of course reads "Asian Helper."  On first glance, it sounds like Mrs. Livingston from The Courtship of Eddie's Father in a box!  Or, if your mind goes to the weird places mine does, if Hamburger Helper makes hamburger taste good, Asian helper makes ASIANS taste good!  Mmmmm, braiiiins!

I went to the website, and found out that they have all sorts of cumbersome product divisions these days, from Wholegrain Helper to Mexican Helper which probably makes John McCain and Lou Dobbs very, very nervous.  On the whole, I think I'd dub this redesign an epic fail.

Glenn Beck & FOX "News" Banned at Grocery Store

Image from source, Think Progress

I'm glad I'm not the only one annoyed by being subjected to FOX "News" on random televisions. I'd like to see more of this.

[Excerpt]

UK supermarket pulls ads from Fox News after customers complain about Beck.

Upscale British supermarket chain Waitrose has announced that it will no longer be advertising on Fox News in the U.K. because of Glenn Beck’s comments that President Obama hates white people. The decision came after Waitrose shoppers complained. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Grocery Line Blues: Who in the Hell are Jon & Kate?

Photo from source, Dickipedia

Yesterday, I stopped at the Von's supermarket on my way home to pick up some diet sodas, since they're on sale (have you noticed how expensive soda pop has gotten?), and a few other things. True to form, I got stuck in a line behind people who have apparently never shopped at a grocery store before. They've also never heard of "debit cards," and still use an archaic thing known as a "cheque book" which they do not extract from their bottomless pocket books until the very last item has been rung up. Not to mention after every coupon (for every item) has been scanned. And then the inevitable, "Oh, darn. Can I borrow your pen?"

So, I had a mini-eternity to examine the Bubble Yum, Altoids, Tic Tacs and Bic lighters. Bored quickly, I scanned the magazines. My GOD are there some shitty magazines at the checkout. The National Enquirer and The Star have been joined by OK! and several others I don't remember. But the one unifying feature was an apparently unhappy couple named Jon & Kate.

Being a former fan of gossip, I am aware of the trend in these rags to call "celebrities" by only their first names, sometimes shortened in overly-familiar ways, sometimes even smooshed together. But Jon & Kate really go by those names on their reality show, Jon & Kate Plus 8, a horrific-sounding program that has apparently been on for several seasons. I'll cop to a vague awareness of this unlikely phenomenon, though one that has hit my peripheral vision only in the past few months or so.

I've watched my share of trash TV, though I've weeded out the truly crappy things in the last few years. And I will admit to really enjoying Kathy Griffin: My Life on the "D" List. But Kathy's a comedienne, and I was already a fan. How do these nonentities develop a following? So they had invitro fertilization. This is a talent? A reason to be famous? And now the husband has been trying to make a few more kiddies, the old fashioned way? Who cares?

I'm not the only one wondering, as the excerpted article below can attest.

[Excerpt]

Jon and Kate Gosselin

Jon and Kate Gosselin (married June 12, 1999) are an all-American couple who have eight children, an exploitative reality TV show, and quite possibly the most miserable marriage America has seen since Kim Bassinger and Alec Baldwin. Though both Jon and Kate possess no charm, charisma, or talent aside from the ability to successfully combine sperm with eggs (with the help of a fertility doctor), approximately 10 million Americans tune in weekly to watch them emotionally (and fingers crossed--maybe in the 2009 season finale?--physically) scar each other little by little, in 30-minute increments. . .

Read more at: Dickipedia