Maybe I shouldn't get my gappped-teeth fixed after all. Image from source.
Ernest Borgnine was my hero. Not only was he a great actor, he was a fellow photogenically-challenged man, who really made it, in a profession where that shouldn't have been possible. Borgnine was often a punchline when it came to his brutish looks. But there was a kindness there, in every image I've ever seen of him. And he was adept at comedy and drama, completely believable in any role. At 95, one can't really say he had an untimely death, or that he "left us too soon." But he was one of those guys who--like Andy Griffith before him--seemed like he'd be around forever. RIP, Mr. Borgnine.
[Excerpt]
Arts & Entertainment Oscar-winning film star Ernest Borgnine dies
Ernest Borgnine, who delivered an Academy Award-winning performance as the
lonely Bronx butcher looking for love in the 1955 drama "Marty" and displayed
his comic side in the 1960s as the star of the popular TV sitcom "McHale's
Navy," has died. He was 95. . .
Not the ugliest car. But it shares the name. Image from Wikipedia.
I got briefly stuck in a Wiki-hole this evening, first looking up the generations of Mitsubishi Eclipse (the sporty version of my Galant), segueing into the related Chrysler/Dodge products, and winded up landing on the Plymouth Barracuda, Dodge Charger and Dodge Challenger. A couple of links later, I landed on the Dodge Magnum page.
The Magnum was a car I pondered when I traded in my old Jeep. By this time, circa 2010, that Dodge model had been discontinued, but I could have gotten a 2008 at a decent price. It was the wagon version of the Dodge Charger, and looked kinda nifty. I ultimately passed, because the Magnum is likely too big for my garage (and if you can find the double entendre there, good for you!). Anyway, what I didn't know is that Chrysler had not just named that wagon "Magnum" out of the clear blue sky. They had resurrected the name of a seventies model. Why on earth they'd ever want to conjure the previous version remains a mystery.
The 1979 Dodge Magnum looks like a joke. If someone showed me the picture, I would have thought it was designed by George Barris like the "Wagon Queen Family Truckster" from National Lampoon's Vacation! It is a hideous beast. A collision of lines and ideas that were never adequately resolved into a presentable finished product. So without further ado, the ugliest Chrysler product ever. It was only sold in Brazil for a reason.
Continuing last week's Blast from the past theme, here is another batch of the ugly cars of the 1970s. And please note, that the first car in the list--though a 1980 model billed as "the first Chevy of the 80s"--was being sold in April 1979! And the '70 Ford Maverick may have been released in 1969, but it was sold well into the 1970s. Mmmkay?
1. Chevy Citation (1980) - This ugly car was the next size up from a Chevette. . .with no visible improvements. And what's the deal with the missing back wheels in the ad? Who thought that was a good idea?
2. Ford Maverick (1970) - This one doesn't look ugly to me anymore. But it did in the seventies. It seemed to me to be the Pinto's big brother.
3. Mustang II (1976) - Yes, there were a couple of models of the Mustang II that managed to be somewhat attractive. But there were some homely ones too. More importantly, how could they put the Mustang brand on a Pinto?
4. Dodge Omni (1978) - Chrysler's projects were often inferior imitations of other manufacturer's products back in the old days, but seldom were they as ugly as the Rabbit/Chevette knockoff Dodge Omni.
5. Plymouth Horizon TC3 (1979) - Identical to the Omni except in name, was the Horizon. They stretched the brand with this somewhat more attractive fastback version. But it was still pretty ugly.
6. AMC Matador (1977) - Mitt Romney's dad's company produced a huge amount of ugly. But the Matador--with it's Pacer-esque front end--was it's own special kind.
7. Mercury Bobcat (1976) - When you've got two car divisions, you apparently have to spread the ugly around. Lincoln-Mercury produced this upscale version of the Pinto to virtually no acclaim.
8. Oldsmobile Starfire (1975) - This was apparently Olds' answer to the Chevrolet Vega/Monza. Having lived through the 70s myself, this one is apparently burned from my memory. Evidently though, they manage to make over 125 thousand of them in five model years.
Okay, so I think that will do it for this week's edition of Blast from the Past, and from this category. Have a great week everybody. Happy Monday!
No, this isn't a story about the unflattering pictures of John McCain in The Atlantic. I personally thought that those were OK, certainly not lies of any sort. John McCain really looks like that. The lie was his spackled orange makeup at the Republican National Convention.
No, this is a story that really lays out the difference between the straight talking maverick of the 2000 campaign, and the ugly new lying McCain of the 2008 Presidential campaign. I've written about this before, but not this well. Check it out.
Following his loss to George W. Bush in the 2000 South Carolina primary, John McCain did something extraordinary: He confessed to lying about how he felt about the Confederate battle flag, which he actually abhorred. "I broke my promise to always tell the truth," McCain said. Now he has broken that promise so completely that the John McCain of old is unrecognizable. He has become the sort of politician he once despised. . .
This is a frivilous and possibly ill-advised post. But after watching a lot of Sunday morning news programs over the last year, I've noticed something. The world of politics is ugly. I'm not talking metaphor here, I'm talking literally ugly. I've commented before that Meet the Press with Tim Russert's usual round-table discussion group looks something like Jim Henson's Land of Gorch. And the other shows ain't much better: Chris Wallace, William Kristol, Brit Hume? All caricaturists' dream subjects.
And then there are the politicians. Now, I'm no raving beauty either, but I don't try to make a living in the public eye. This clip highlights a little of what I'm saying. First, it's John Kerry. I voted for him, mostly because I thought he had a groovy wife, and because he was running against a chimp. And honestly, he does have a hint of handsomeness about him. . .but just a hint. Like Ann Coulter, there's something out of skew about the guy. And then there's Lindsey Graham, who looks like a constipated turtle, and sounds like Leslie Jordan's Brother Boy or Beverly Lesley.
I might need to revise my theory that old, pale, hunched, short John McCain would lose to young, hale, tall Barack Obama just on the visuals alone. We keep electing the ugly ones. . .over and over again!
So, Rush Limbaugh thinks Hillary Clinton is too old to be running for president, because she will inevitably age in office. He points out that the office ages its occupant faster than the average person, that Hillary will be scrutinized for it. . .and. . .what else, I'm not sure. He's just using the opportunity to publicize an unflattering picture of Hillary (the one on the right).
Rush Limbaugh, much like Ann Coulter, loves to start these little tempests. They always garner news, and just attract attention to his radio show. So why am I commenting on the story? Not sure. I guess I just thought it was rather unfair. I think Hillary looks pretty good for 60, and everybody takes an unflattering picture now and then. Big deal. And if she looked like Joan Rivers, Rush would be making fun of her plastic surgery.
Besides, there are a lot of--shall we say--less than Vogue or GQ ready politicians in (or running for) office, many of them for decades. Let's take a look!
Here's a shout-out to a blog doing a great job pointing out the obvious: Crocs are hideous. No one knows how a fad forms. Why do strange and ridiculous things catch the public's fancy? Off the top of my head, I can think of "pet rocks," Cabbage Patch Kids, and Earth Shoes. Each was an enormous fad, each pretty stupid.
Pet Rocks was a micro fad, one that lasted long enough to make a pop culture dent, make its inventor rich, and then fade from the scene. Cabbage Patch Kids had a little longer shelf-life, and had people getting into brawls to try and snap up the (deliberate) limited supply. They still pop up in one incarnation here and there. And Earth Shoes were a quieter, gentler fad. They sort of oozed through the 70s, and can still be found today. I'm hoping that Crocs are closer to the Pet Rock in scale, though they seem to be a little more tenacious.
To the uninitiated, Crocs are an ugly plastic shoe, little more than a flip-flop with a top, though they now have many varieties--all of them ugly. If they were a car, they'd be a Pontiac Aztek, Honda Element, or a Scion xB. They have deservedly earned a hate blog, and I happily offer it up to you. Check it out!
