Featured Blog Tumblr: Eric Cantor's Bitch Face!

“A joint session of Congress on Bunco Night?
Well we’ll just see about that.”

Once again, discovered via The Stephanie Miller Show.

For more, go to: Eric Cantor's Bitch Face

Featured Site: Back to the Future

Brilliant! Best idea since Born This Way (the site, not the Lady Ga-Ga song, though I like that too!).

The setup is, a photographer took "classic" photos of people from years gone by, and then posed shots as closely as she could from today, and put them together. Some of these are amazingly well done. The photographer, Irena Werning, should consider opening up her site to submissions. I know it would sort of be "competition," but I think it'd be a big hit.
Visit: Back to the Future

Found at: OMG!! Blog (which I won't link to since it can be naughty, but you're free to look it up!

Featured Blog: 27b/6

It is rare for me to read a website, and laugh so hard that I need to grab a tissue to wipe my nose and eyes, but this one does it. The excerpt below doesn't get to the funny stuff. In this particular post, David the blogger responds to "George," who wrote an email to him, with the headline below.  David sends repeated answers to George, driving the guy (deservedly) batshit.  Hilarious.

[Excerpt]

I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot.

Sometimes people email me to tell me how their day is going, other times they email me to tell me that I am a dickhead and my website is stupid which I am already aware of due to many preceding emails stating the same thing.

I don't harbor behind a fake name and my email address is clearly listed so it is a simple process for people like George to express their opinion to me but as I never initiate an email correspondence, simply reply, I am not always sure why they bother. . .

Read on at: 27b/6

Featured Site: Shelf Monkey's Review of Left Behind

Photo from source, Wikpedia

There isn't much reason for this particular post at this particular time, other than to show you how my mind works. Today, my friend, co-worker and fill-in editor, Stupid Monkey Planet were talking, as we like to do. I mentioned that the cloud moving over the mountains made me feel like The Langoliers were coming. More accurately, I was probably thinking of a similar story, The Mist. Both are Stephen King short stories with a vaguely similar vibe.

We started talking about The Langoliers, a story about an airline flight where many people suddenly vanish from the plane, leaving various items behind, and those left behind have to figure out what's going on. It's a gripping story, with a suspenseful setup. Then, I wondered aloud if the authors of Left Behind--an apocalyptic Christian story which started in much the same way--stole the initial premise for their enormously profitable and spectacularly badly written series of books and sundry spin offs.

After a little Googling, I stumbled upon this review of Left Behind, also mentioning The Langoliers. Aside from the "Monkey" reference in the blog's name (which was a shoo-in for this blog on that basis alone), the review is hilarious, and spot-on. I wrote my own review some time ago, which was much shorter and not nearly as funny. Shelf Monkey has picked up a fan in me, and I wanted to share. Here is an excerpt from the post that hooked me.

[Excerpt]

Critical Monkey Entry #4 — Left Behind: Ouch! My soul!

In his collection Four Past Midnight, author Stephen King wrote a tight little novella entitled 'The Langoliers.' It concerned itself with a small group of people who had fallen asleep on an aircraft, only to awaken and discover that everyone else on board had mysteriously vanished. . .

The scenario is absurd, but over 200 or so pages, King achieves a surprising amount of gut-clenching suspense over the predicament. His characters are strong, the dialogue is heightened yet believeable, and the plot device (waking up abandoned and alone) is so universal that a suspension of disbelief was easily achieved.

. . .Flash-forward five years, when Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins (hereafter L&J) release the first volume of their Rapture epic Left Behind. Like 'The Langoliers,' it begins on an airplane where a segment of the passengers have mysteriously vanished. However, rather unlike King's pulpy good time, L&J take an astounding, brain-shattering event and treat the disappearance of passengers with all the astonishment of passengers not wanting a second helping of peanuts. That is to say, there is zero tension in the narrative from the get-go. And it does not get better. . .

Read more at: Shelf Monkey

Featured Site: FailBooking.com

Happy Monday, everybody! I couldn't find anything out on the interwebs that was particularly newsworthy (at least that I found interesting), so here's something fun instead. Careful, keep track of time, 'cause it's pretty funny stuff. I hope to be back later today, if I can dig up some good stuff.

Source: FailBook

Featured Blog: Sleep Talkin' Man

Image from source, Sleep Talkin' Man

Who knows if this site is for real or not, but it sure is funny. Apparently, a woman is logging her sleep talking British husband's utterances, and turning them into humor on her blog. I have experience in this area, as The Other Half also talks in his sleep. But he's nowhere near as articulate. Maybe the British accent helps. Here is just a sampling.

[Excerpt]

Sleep Talkin' Man

My mild-mannered English husband Adam lives quite an existence in his dreams. Having benefitted from hours of delight at his dead-of-night musings, I thought it only fair to share them with the world.

Dec 29 2009

"It's CHICKEN and you LIKE IT. Lentil-loving, bean burger-shitting wanker."

"Vegetarians will be the first to go. That's my plan. Vegans haven't got a hope. 'I eat air, I'm so healthy...' Bollocks!"

"Put it down! Step away from the yam. Step away!"

"Fluffy bunny + twitchy nose + big ears = great stew."

Read more at: Sleep Talkin' Man

Featured Blog: There, I Fixed It!

I like to have something interesting up, most Monday mornings. But I'm usually doing it on Sunday night, and I just don't have it in me to do a whole lot of political dirt digging tonight. I mean, I did watch a couple of the political shows Sunday morning, but didn't find much to comment on. I mean, yeah, Liz Cheney is now a commentator for FOX "News" Sunday, which is. . .meh. It's a match made in. . .well. . .wherever.

So, I thought today I'd just share a funny blog with you all. A little laughter is a good thing on a Monday morning, right? So check out. . .

There, I Fixed It.

Featured Blog: Picture is Unrelated

I've found an awful lot of sites to lose hours in, from Wikipedia to IMDB. But it's the super-silly ones that really trap me, usually leaving me in a giggling, crying, farting, gelatinous mess. You've probably already visited FailBlog.org, the site dedicated to hilarious failures of all kinds. This site, Picture is Unrelated, seems to be a sister-blog of sorts, with "WTF pictures and video."

And boy howdy do some of them make you say, WTF?!?

This is just a sampling. And yes, I realize that I'm grossly immature and easily entertained.

Source: Picture is Unrelated

Frivolity Break: Segway Fall Down Go Boom!

Why is it that when people fall down, and obviously hurt themselves, it's still so damned funny? I don't know how those Segways stay up anyway.

Featured Blog: Bob Geiger

Image from source, BobGeiger.com

There are a lot of blogs and web sites that become favorites of mine, only to disappear one day, leaving a hole in my web-surfing routine. But sometimes they come back. I'm still waiting for Democratic Underground's "Top 10 Conservative Idiots" to return, but one site that went on sabbatical is back.

The site I'm talking about is BobGeiger.com, and every weekend, he posts the best of the political cartoons of the week. It never fails to make me laugh. And Geiger's own posts are pretty entertaining as well.

Check him out at: BobGeiger.com

Featured Blog: Princess Sparkle Pony's Photo Blog

Several days ago, conservative "think tank" guru, David Frum gave Rachel Maddow a sneak-attack on her live TV show, accusing her of contributing to the left-right divide by being sarcastic and funny. Of course, he's the guy who wrote speeches for George W. Bush, and invented the term "axis of evil," so funny has really never been in his job description (at least not unintentional humor).

I unsurprisingly disagree with Frum, and think he was kind of a jerk to Rachel. Snarky humor is necessary for getting through all the political bullshit without going batshit. That's why I really like the Princess Sparkle Pony blog. I was trolling the far-right-wing FreeRepublic website yesterday, and I found an outraged response to Pony. Oh, the Pony blog was just despicable! Naturally, I checked it out and found it very funny. And I think you will too.

It is notable to point out that once Princess Sparkle Pony's writer (a man, by the way), found out that he was featured on FR, he touted and taunted them, and they deleted their commentary page! Anybody who can shut that jar of wingnuts has my support. Check it out.

[Excerpts]

She Lured Them Onto the Plane with Candy and Strapped Them Into Their Seats. But Then They Realized It Was a Trick and Threw Her Into the Oven



Oh Look, How Cute, Somebody Had Retarded Six-Year-Olds Make Signs for the Palin Rally


What I keep getting from these rallies is We are the stupid and we're better than you. God, it's all so galling. "She's reg'lar folk." WhatEVER. I mean, I grew up in Tucson, Arizona, and I'm not proud to be ignorant because I'm not ignorant. I worked really hard, studied hard, had shit jobs for over a decade... and that makes me... what? An East Coast Liberal Elitist? I'm middle class, just like they are. . .

Read and see more at: Princess Sparkle Pony's Photo Blog: (expect a little off-color humor and commentary!)

Featured Blog: Fail Blog

This really appeals to my inner child. OK, I'm sort of an outer child, but we can't help our senses of humor right? So, Mom, quit bringing up how my brother and sister and I all had the giggles at Grandma's funeral. . .

This blog has a pretty simple concept: ironic or stupid photographs with the word fail. Some are both ironic and stupid. You'll laugh until your inner child throws up.

Source: Fail Blog

Featured Blog: Totally Looks Like

Image from source, TotallyLooksLike.com

I'm often ruled by my inner child. . .which is a nicer way to say that I'm immature. Because of this, there are a chunk of posts on my blog that are probably ill advised. So, how freeing it would be to have a blog that consists of little else!

Actually, that's probably overstating things a little. TotallyLooksLike.com features "separated at birth" type match ups, and certainly they aren't all insulting. And even those that are can be uncannily accurate.

Take for instance, Cindy McCain:



Source: TotallyLooksLike.com

And some of my own!

Cindy McCain Plagiarizes Recipes?
Separated at Birth: John McCain & Lon Chaney, Sr.
Horrible Monster or Presidential Candidate?
Sean Hannity & Lou Costello Separated at Birth

Featured Blog: Project Rooftop

If you've been to my blog before, you might know I have a penchant for superheroes and comic books. What you might not know is that I used to dream up my own superheroes all the time as a kid. You can't imagine how delighted I was when DC Comics came out with Dial "H" for Hero, and asked for reader submissions of their own superhero creations!

I entered a woman, Bluejay, and a man, Zenith. Neither were used, much to my dismay, but there was a strange coincidence. My Bluejay character had a logo design that was very, very similar to the "WW" that Wonder Woman adopted as her insignia just a few months later. (My Bluejay logo, and the Wonder Woman logo presented here for your consideration).



Coincidence? Probably. And all rights were signed to DC in any event. But I can delude myself into believing that I altered the history of Wonder Woman, right?

This site (I'm not sure it should really be called a blog), Project Rooftop, allows people to indulge in their own fantasy hero creations. Only here, they are giving new looks to established heroes. I may have to revisit my rusty superhero drawing skills, and see what I can come up with!

[Excerpt]
Image from source, Project Rooftop

Superman: Man of Style Finalists!

"I think if Superman were created within the last ten years, this is about what he’d look like. It’s a little on the generic side, but it definitely feels like a Superman to me. I like the wide red bands on the gauntlets, pants, and boots, but the cape-over-the-neck-guard look is a bit cumbersome. I’m also missing the yellow in this normally primary-colored hero."

Read (and see) lots more at: Project Rooftop

And check out the history of Wonder Woman's costume here: Wonder Woman

Featured Blog: Stuff Nobody Likes

Image from source, Stuff Nobody Likes

This blog/site really caught my attention. Who doesn't like to complain? It's basically a pet peeves site, but has some extremely well-written--and funny--observations about stuff nobody likes. I'm going to have to put on my thinking cap and write my own contribution!

[Excerpt]

Stuff Nobody Likes

#73. The President

Nobody Likes You, Mr. President, if we can even call you by such a title. You, and your Republican Party’s scandalous behavior during the contested election, past preoccupation with military adventurism rather than the concerns of Congress, and cynical compromises for political purposes within an occupied territory have been reprehensible. . .

Read more at: Stuff Nobody Likes

Obsessive-Compulsive Blogs, Redux

I wrote a post on this blog back when I was just getting started, called "Obsessive Compulsive Blogs." In it, I highlighted two very strange (and strangely, related) blogs. One is called Johnny Dollar's Place, and the other is called Olbermann Watch. I stumbled upon the former earlier today when I was writing the previous post (What Will FOX "News" Do if Democrats Win?).

Since I wrote my original post seven months ago, and have been blogging a bit longer now, I thought it might be time to revisit this topic. My initial assessment is still valid, that some blogs and sites are so tightly focused, so strangely devoted to their topics, they fit the definition of obsessive-compulsive. Fortunately for these types of blogs, having such a tight focus ensures readership from the like-minded. My blog, for instance, has a very diffused focus and hasn't found its niche as much as I'd like--probably because it doesn't have a niche. It's too scattered.

But if the writers of the above mentioned blogs are this devoted to (a) slavish adoration of a cable broadcast channel, and (b) intense hatred for a media figure on a rival cable broadcast channel, you can bet there are readers who share that devotion. I just don't think I'll ever understand these people.

Johnny Dollar's Place is a strange place indeed, though it has become prettier recently. He still focuses obsessively on any and everything FOX "News," but has branched out enough to take swipes at FOX's rivals, and favorite targets. MSNBC and CNN fan sites may exist (though I've never found such a thing), but Johnny Dollar's Place comes off as more of a FOX "News" apologist site. Johnny plays much the same role as a creationist who simultaneously evangelizes his cause while assailing all evolutionists. One has to wonder why FOX "News" needs so much defending, and why anyone would feel so moved as to take up such a cause.

Olbermann Watch is sort of the flip-side (but surely not opposite) of JDP. Affiliated with the previously named site (or possibly run in tandem), OW's mission is to tear down and insult Keith Olbermann, his show and his guests, generally with ad hominem attacks. It uses a lot of in-joke phrases, nicknames and shorthand, to the point of being difficult to follow without reading the comments section. I actually got involved in the OW comments, albeit briefly. What started out as dispassionate commentary devolved into a pissing contest, and I lost interest (but not before being offered a guest commentary by the editor, which was admittedly pretty cool of him).

It's a very black-or-white world at OW (as well as at JDP). You love or you hate FOX or Olbermann, and you defend and agree with all that they do, or you despise and condemn it all. All or nothing.

In this world, you cannot be a Countdown with Keith Olbermann fan unless you're willing to defend and support everything he ever said or did. You are not allowed to disagree with anything on FOX "News," even if you use video and a transcript in your dissent. It's a very George W. Bush "with us or against us" mentality, and I find it quite sad. But it seems to be working--both sites eclipse Greenlee Gazette's site meter hits by wide margins*. Oh well, FOX "News" is the highest rated "news" channel on cable. It doesn't mean it's better.

Previously:

Obsessive-Compulsive Blogs

*Or rather, they did eclipse me. JDP is still doing quite well, but I cannot locate Olbermann Watch. Perhaps their server is down, or they may have just quit the game. I'll update if I find out.

UPDATE: OlbermannWatch is still there. The site must have just been down for a while.

Featured Blog: Garfield Minus Garfield

Image from source, Wikipedia

When I was a kid, I absolutely loved Jim Davis' Garfield. We didn't get The Columbus Citizen-Journal, the now-defunct newspaper that ran it at the time, but caught the first few strips at my Aunt Camille's house. My brother and I thought the strip was hilarious, and when they started to publish collections of the strips, we collected every book (possibly up to 13 of them, or so).

It's hard to know if the strips were actually funny, or just funny to us when we were kids. But Garfield long ago lost its charm for me. For one thing, the cartoon's running joke of Garfield being a fat cat got lost. His body got progressively smaller, while his eyes got ever bigger, and for some reason, oval. And like Beetle Bailey or Hi & Lois, it goes on and on, years after its peak.

But someone out there found a way to make it funny again! Side note: Orange and black cats can only be female. Discuss. . .

[Excerpt]

Garfield Minus Garfield

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness in a quiet American suburb.

Featured Blog: Vote For the Worst

Photo from source, Vote for the Worst

Speaking of American Idol, there is a very snarky, very dirty, hilariously bitchy site out there called Vote for the Worst. They delight in exposing secrets about the contestants (Gay stripper? Wears a wig?), and especially in encouraging their readers to vote for the worst contestants. They very well may have been responsible for Sanjaya's drawn out appearance last year.

In other words, it's right up my alley.

[Excerpt]

Votefortheworst.com was started in 2004 to support voting for the entertaining contestants who the producers would hate to see win on American Idol. It has since expanded to other shows. Why do we do it? During the initial auditions, the producers only let a fraction of the people who audition advance. Many good people are turned away and many bad singers or over the top personalities are kept around. . .

Read more at: Vote for the Worst

George Bush in Africa

I guess when you're a lame duck, you just kinda go on vacation. Bush seems to be having some fun, at the expense of his country's dignity. But one thing we can say about the loss of George W. Bush, is that comedians are going to have to work a lot harder. It's just so easy to come up with material with this guy.

This excerpt is from one of my favorite blogs, The Rude Pundit. I get a little squeamish linking to the site (though I've done so in the past), because while the content is brilliant, and very funny--well, it's rude. I love it. But you might not. So be forewarned if you aren't a fan of harsh language. If you are though, click on. It's great stuff!

[Excerpt]


Photos That Make the Rude Pundit Want to Down a Case of Star Beer:

Why is the President of the United States about to sign that young boy's head in Ghana? Or does he think there's oil in his skull and he's about to "explore" with the tip of his pen? And, more to the point, why is he so enamored of tee ball?

Read more at: The Rude Pundit

Featured Blog: Horrible Tattoos

UPDATE 04/06/08: This post has been oddly popular. Could you write me a quick note at editor@greenleegazette.com and let me know how you found me? Thanks!


Sometimes, if you're surfing the internets in the right (or wrong) mood, you can happen upon a site that make you laugh until tears come out of your eyes, and your glasses fog up. Then you feel bad for laughing at others' misfortune. And then you laugh some more.

There are several examples. There are sites that regularly feature mug shots. There's one called UglyPeople.com (that one makes me feel particularly guilty). And then there's this one.

Horrible Tattoos holds special interest, because one of my best friends and contributor (and hopefully proprieter of the Stupid Monkey Planet blog sometime soon) is a tattoo artist, and sports un-horrible tattoos. But then, I suppose the tat is in the eye of the beholder--or owner.



See more at: Horrible Tattoos

Hat tip to TowleRoad.com for the link