Wanda Sykes on Gay Marriage

Given that The Other Half and I are doing the "destroy America" bit tomorrow, how 'bout a vulgar take on the matter? Vulgar only in language. Wanda Sykes may be brusque, but she's also smart. Take a look. . .

Frivolity Break: Mel Brooks' Hitler Rap

I'm preparing for the big wedding trip to California, so I really don't have a lot of time for the blog tonight. So rather than carpet bomb the site with political posts, I thought I'd give you a fun thing or two to watch. And, if you're new to the site, you might not know that means something fun and weird. . .

This was a music video by Mel Brooks to coincide with his early eighties movie, To Be or Not to Be. As far as I know, it does not appear in the movie. Take a little of the rap song he did for History of the World, Part I (It's Good to be the King), throw in a bit of Springtime for Hitler (from The Producers), and for some reason some porny looking Nazi men and women, and you get The Hitler Rap! Enjoy.

BCS: Battered Congress Syndrome

No, not BDS--Bush Derangement Syndrome, an affliction conservatives believe affects liberals (as though we don't have plenty of reasons). Battered Congress Syndrome is as good a reason as any for the constant capitulation of the Democratic-controlled Congress. Yes, I know that they have bare majorities, but when Republicans had similar percentages, they never ever rolled over for the other side.

In fact, over the six years before Democrats re-won Congress, Republicans did everything in their power to shove Democrats into--quite literally--the basement. Why on earth haven't the Democrats returned the favor, at least once in a while? BCS?

[Excerpt]

Battered Congress Syndrome

President Bush doesn't hesitate to kick Congress around, but Congress just can't bring itself to kick back.

During oral arguments yesterday about whether a federal judge should enforce congressional subpoenas against a belligerent White House, representatives of the judicial and executive branches both noted that Congress hasn't exercised its full constitutional powers. . .

Read more at: Washington Post

If Chat Rooms Were Real

I love short films. It's one of the reasons I loved the short-lived FOX series, On the Lot. Finding them these days is easy, with 1,095 cable channels, and the intertubes at our fingertips. And once in a while you stumble upon one that is really funny/poignant/amazing. I'm not sure what category this film (not new, but new to me) would fall into, but it's good just the same. What if chat rooms were real?

The King! John McCain as Elvis!

More of Stephen Colbert's Green Screen Challenge. John McCain as Elvis!

Set Phasers on Zzzz! Star Trek's Capt. John McCain!

More of the green screen fun!

Vogue! John McCain Strikes a Pose!

OK, now this is funny. But I'm not sure I'll ever watch my favorite Madonna video in quite the same way again. Bring on Grey Ambition!

How to Pretend You Give a S*** About the Election!

The blog is in dire need of a mood lightner. And what better way than an informative clip from The Onion News Network?



Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Barack Obama's Not-so Cozy Relationship with Bloggers

Image from source, Huffington Post

In the many-pronged attacks on Barack Obama, a constant one from the right is that he's far-left, and in the pocket of "the MoveOn.orgs." People who actually read left-wing blogs know that this is nonsense.

The latest diversion from the left-wing "netroots" is Obama's decision to vote for the "compromise" FISA/telecom retroactive immunity/warrantless wiretaps bill. The netroots don't like it. I don't like it. Not one little bit. It's not enough to dampen my enthusiasm for his election, but it's enough for me to want him to explain what is in that bill that would "protect America."

[Excerpt]

Serenity Lost: Obama And The Netroots

Only weeks into the general election campaign and already a notable tension is beginning to materialize within the Democratic Party. At question is Sen. Barack Obama's relationship with the progressive netroots, the online community that helped aid the Senator's rise to the presidential nomination, but has since seemingly played second fiddle in terms of courted constituencies. . .

Read more at: Huffington Post

Comedy Break: WTF Was DMV Thinking?

Image from source, WXII12

Hee, hee, hee. Unintentionally funny license plates always tickle my funny bone. There are sooo many possible combinations on the standard issue "ABC-123" plates, keeping up with them must be difficult. Especially for all of the Pattys and Selmas at typical DMVs.

Potential problems: FAT, ASS, COW, PIG, HOG, DIK, FUG, FKU, FAG, GAG, HAG, NAG, PEE. . .I'm very immature, I could do this forever. Thanks to Stupid Monkey Planet for the link.

[Excerpt]

Potentially Offensive License Plate To Be Replaced For Free

Thanks to some text message-savvy grandchildren, North Carolina drivers whose license plates have the potentially offensive "WTF" letter combination can replace the tags for free. . .

Read more at: WXII12

McCain for Habeas Corpus Before He Was Against It

Image from source, Think Progress

As much as I despise simplistic sloganeering in political campaigns, the term "flip flop" was practically branded on John Kerry's forehead, and on countless other Democrats along the way. Republicans change their positions as "conditions change on the ground." Democrats rarely get the same latitude.

But thanks to the internet, we can now clearly spell out these so-called flip flops for everyone to see. And given John McCain's hardline comments about the Supreme Court's recent decision on habeas corpus, this one should be big news.

[Excerpt]

In 2005, McCain Said Even The ‘Scum Of Humanity’ Deserve To Have ‘Some Adjudication Of Their Cases’

Raising the specter of Osama bin Laden being tried in civil court, McCain invoked the Nazi war crimes trials to declare that bin Laden should be denied habeas rights at all costs, Supreme Court be damned. . . [snip]

McCain has invoked the Nazi trials at Nuremberg before to uphold his position on habeas. Unfortunately for McCain, in that instance it was to push for granting those rights to terror detainees. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Obama Leads McCain in Polls; Bush Lowest Ever

Photos from source, Los Angeles Times

Polls! We gotcher polls! As we all should be aware, with the Presidential Election still months away that anything could happen to change these polls--and change them again, and again. A swift-boat style attack might take a bite out of Barack Obama. John McCain could break a hip or something. But it is refreshing to be on the winning side, even if it's a little early to make that call.

It is also refreshing to see that good ol' George W. Bush has finally--finally--lost his grip on at least a few of the solid 25%ers that have blindly supported him. His approval rating has sunk to 23%.

[Excerpt]

Obama holds 12-point lead over McCain, poll finds

In a two-man contest, 49% of respondents favor Barack Obama, 37% John McCain. With Ralph Nader and Bob Barr added to the mix, Obama holds a 15-point edge. . .

Read more at: Los Angeles Times

California Same-Sex Marriage Brings Out the Kooks

Image from Sydney Morning Herald

And by kooks, I don't mean a Barbra Streisand and a Tina Turner impersonator marrying each other. They're just visually kooky. I mean the real kooks! For instance, from World Net Daily--a source often sited by real news organizations as credible--comes the news that legal same-sex marriage heralds. . .

THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

[Excerpt]

How same-sex marriage points to end of the world

. . .You don't like this possibility? Don't even believe in the Flood? Doesn't matter. Some things are true whether you believe them or not. How can you be sure? There's a way. Did you know that about one-fourth of the Bible is prophecy? A quarter of the Bible is a lot – it's a big book. And did you know God's standard? Perfection. That means that if even one of those prophecies is wrong, you can discount the whole thing. Kind of like a prophet who makes a false prediction – that made him a false prophet and a candidate for stoning. Did you know that 4,000 prophecies in that Bible have already come true down to the last detail. . .

Egad. Color me unconvinced by everything in that paragraph, and in the rest of the article. I'm not at all religious, but to think that the single calamity that will end the world is me legally marrying The Other Half, strikes me as incredibly stupid. This all-powerful God who created everything in the universe cares that we're wearing matching rings? Ludicrous.

But wait, there's more!

Did you know that after same-sex marriage was legalized in California that God himself sent lighting bolts from the sky to. . .

BURN CALIFORNIA FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!!

[Excerpt]

Record Lightning Storm Hits California Following Legalized Gay Marriage

. . .So in just one storm, a record number of fires has been set. The total number of lightning strikes for this storm “more than 5,000″ is equally impressive. Curiously, this fantastic amount of lightning took place the week after a California court legalized Gay Marriage. . .

Gee, God sure has bad aim. Are West Hollywood and San Francisco going up in smoke? No? Hmmm. . .

Read about the end of the world at: World Net Daily

Read about God's mighty bad aim at: Truth in Our Time

Democrats Who Voted for FISA Getting Telecom Cash?

Photo from Huffington Post

There is a basic difference--in my opinion--between right-leaning media outlets (radio, magazines, blogs), and left-leaning ones. The right will typically stand by a corrupt conservative politician, offering excuses, playing devil's advocate; unless that politician confesses or is convicted. Even then, their guilt is often downplayed. On the left, there is a less strenuous devil's advocate play, and when the politician seems to be dirty they are often called on it.

Ronald Reagan's "Eleventh Commandment," Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican, doesn't seem to have a counterpart on the left. Ask a Democrat to defend Bill Clinton's actions, and you'll likely get some background--that the Republicans were out to impeach him for whatever they could find, and that the action was silly--but you won't get much defending. Same for William Jefferson's infamous "money in the freezer" story.

And now comes the FISA bill, with the retroactive immunity for telecom companies that acted illegally on the President's orders, and allows warrantless wiretapping. Liberals are severely bent that any Democrat would vote for such a thing. And those that do are openly suspected--by liberals--to either be "in the tank" for the telecoms, covering their asses for what they were implicit in, or that they're being blackmailed for their votes.

All three scenarios are strong possibilities, but the first now seems to have some evidence to back it up. Take a look.

[Excerpt]

Dems who flipped on FISA immunity see more telecom cash

House Democrats who flipped their votes to support retroactive immunity for telecom companies in last week’s FISA bill took thousands of dollars more from phone companies than Democrats who consistently voted against legislation with an immunity provision, according to an analysis by MAPLight.org. . .

Read more at: Politico

More on 22-Year-Old Military Contractor

Photo from source, Miami Herald

This story deserves a little more attention. For many years, people have bandied around stories of crazy military contracts. Hundreds or thousands of dollars for a nut, bolt, toilet seat, screwdriver, etc. . .money spent blindly and with seemingly no oversight.

But this story may well take the cake. A 22-year-old (younger at the time) scores military contracts for almost $300 million dollars? And then--big surprise--delivers faulty, perhaps illegal merchandise? With the fiscally responsible, military-first Bush Administration in charge? The hell you say!

[Excerpt]

Military slammed over oversight in Miami Beach arms case

Military officials promised changes Tuesday after a lashing by congressional Democrats and Republicans, who expressed anger and astonishment that a 22-year-old Miami Beach man on a State Department watch list and with a history of failing to deliver on military contracts was awarded a $298 million deal to arm allied forces in Afghanistan. . .

Read more at: Miami Herald

Opposite Day: Karl Rove Rips NYT for CIA Leak

Here's another good tip from Stupid Monkey Planet, who will be filling in for me this weekend. While it is known that Karl Rove at least had a part in leaking CIA agent Valerie Plame Wilson's identity, he keeps trying to distance himself from it. So far, he still--somehow--has the arch right-wing on his side, and the left couldn't hate him any more than they do, so he's sitting pretty. Wait, this is Rove; sitting chubby? I don't know.

But Rove has managed to make himself appear even more hypocritical, though we didn't think that was possible. Take a look.

[Excerpt]



Rove Rips NYT For Outing CIA Agent’s Identity And ‘Putting Our Country At Risk’

. . .Yesterday, on The O’Reilly Factor, Karl Rove slammed the New York Times for supposedly leaking the name of a CIA agent. “[T]hey’ve got a very callous view about our nation’s security and interests,” Rove charged:

ROVE: Well, I read their explanation. And basically, it sounded to me like they were saying we put his name out there because we decided we could. And I mean, they didn’t have a good explanation for it. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Kids Today: What's With Bleeding Love?

One of the inescapable facts of growing older is not "getting" today's music. I'm 42, and have always been considered by friends and family as "that pop culture guy." You've got a trivia question for me? I can answer it. Or rather, I could.

Fortunately, my computer skills (though also probably surpassed by "kids today") are good enough that I can find whatever information I'm asked for. And that's a good thing, because music today leaves me cold. Even the new Madonna and Cyndi Lauper albums (two of the biggest from my generation) don't have the feel or fun of the old stuff.

I've stumbled across a song called Bleeding Love by an artist I'd never heard of, Leona Lewis. I mistakenly thought it was a Mariah Carey song, and on the first listen I didn't pay a lot of attention to it. The song kept cropping up here and there, and eventually I listened to the lyrics. Yikes. This is supposed to be romantic, but I couldn't get the cutting and bleeding imagery out of my mind!



With lyrics like: "But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you, They try to pull me away, But they don't know the truth, My heart's crippled by the vein, That I keep on closing. You cut me open and I Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love," all I can think about is those disturbing girls who cut themselves when they're depressed.

I know this song isn't brand new, but kids--trust me--when you're in your 40s, and the kids are listening to I Hate Your Guts (But Love When They're Wrapped Around Me), you'll understand what I'm talking about.

Actors' Strike May Cripple Hollywood

Photo from source, The Independent

Well, after a kneecapping by the Writers' Strike this past winter, I'd say Hollywood was already crippled. Whatever convalescence it may have achieved since that strike may now be undone with the actors going on strike. Nose, you're about to be cut off to spite your face. Or something.

[Excerpt]

Cut! Actors' strike threatens to bring Hollywood to a standstill

To have one trade union paralyse Hollywood was strange; two doing it in quick succession feels like carelessness. A threatened walkout by actors, which could begin as early as next week, is throwing major film and television studios into chaos. . .

Read more at: The Independent

Bush Administration Illegally Hired Partisan Lawyers

Image from source, Huffington Post

Once again, liberals--often accused of overblown cases of Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS)--are proven right. And once again, we can be sure that conservatives--often suffering from Bush Brown-nose Syndrome (Eww)--will say, "what of it?"

The one thing we can almost be 100% sure of is, they'll get away with it, and most of America either won't care, or won't even know about it. I tell you, if Barack Obama wins this election, we'll be right back to the nit-picky nonsense stuff, and all of the sudden, America will care. George Carlin was right: we're all f***ed.

[Excerpt]

CONFIRMED: BUSH JUSTICE DEPARTMENT ILLEGALLY HIRED LAWYERS WITH CONSERVATIVE CREDENTIALS

Ivy Leaguers and other top law students were rejected for plum Justice Department jobs two years ago because of their liberal leanings or objections to Bush administration politics, a government report concluded Tuesday.

In one case, a Harvard Law student was passed over after criticizing the nomination of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. In another, a Georgetown University student who had previously worked for a Democratic senator and congressman didn't make the cut. . .

Read more at: Huffington Post

Adam Jones Drops the "Pacman"

I don't like sports. I don't keep up on sports stars' arrests and other foibles, and I don't know them by their nicknames. But here in Las Vegas, a football player named Adam Jones got himself into a spot of trouble. What kind? I don't know. I don't care.

But every time the man's name was mentioned on the TV or radio--and it was very, very often--he was referred to as "Adam Pacman Jones." In the attached story we are told that the "Pacman" was an affectionate nickname from his mother. Fine, that's cool and kind of sweet. But I tell ya, when you've heard the name dozens and dozens of times, it grates on the nerves. We've had Jesse "The Body" Ventura, and William "The Refrigerator" Perry. There's been Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove and George W. "Chimpy McFlightsuit" Bush. But we don't always put those nicknames in there!

Thankfully, Mr. Jones is dropping the Pacman. May it be as successful as the change from "Puff Daddy" to the much more mature "P. Diddy."

[Excerpt]

No more Pacman? Jones wants to drop nickname

That would be the preference of Adam Jones, the suspended Dallas Cowboys cornerback who has been known by the nickname throughout his life. He’d like to be called by his given name and make “Pacman” a thing of the past.

“There’s really just a lot of negativity behind it,” Jones said. “It’s just time for a change, man. I’m doing everything to make sure that I’m all right as a person, mentally and emotionally. . .”

Read more at: Yahoo! News