Amusing Stupid Monkey Headlines Appearing on 12/30/11

Today's amusing headlines come from around the web. Some are the funny "ha-ha" type whilst others are of the funny peculiar type. Enjoy.

"What the fuck?"

HEADLINES: 12/30/2011

• Perry slams surging Santorum as a 'prolific earmarker' - MSNBC

• A Santorum surge in Iowa? - MSNBC

• Investigations of the Year: What's In Your Egg McMuffin? - ABC

• Friends: Texas Gunman Was Mad Wife Doing Well - Fox News

• 385 Pounds of Caviar Found in Russian Morgue - Fox News

• Gingrich wants it both ways? - CNN (see below)

• Poll: Gingrich down, Santorum up - CNN

• 10 ways not to kill your book club - CNN

• Justin Bieber tops Kim Kardashian as most-searched - LA Times

• Man killed by train can be sued over bystander's injuries - LA Times

And believe it or not....
• Van Halen announces 2012 tour with David Lee Roth - CBS News

FOX Dominates FCC Indecency Complaints

Alas, it is not FOX "News" but FOX-TV that has garnered the most outrage. The funniest part to me, is that idiots are calling the FCC--an agency that does not control cable content--to protest MSNBC's use of the term "teabagger." Idiots.

[Excerpt]

Fox Dominates Indecency Complaints

Members of the "tea party" don't like MSNBC's Rachel Maddow's use of the word "teabagging."

According to FCC records obtained and analyzed by SNL Kagan, viewers have filed 1,239 indecency complaints connected to the ambiguous phrase. The only thing more controversial was a rant delivered by CNN's Jack Cafferty against China on an April 2008 edition of "The Situation Room. . ."

Read more at: ABC News

Fall TV: New V to Have Odd Schedule

Image from Collider

When a sci-fi show premieres on FOX, I immediately get wary, and might even avoid it, since they tend to cancel them so quickly. Quick, name a sci-fi show on FOX that has lasted more than two seasons in the last few years. Right now Fringe and Dollhouse are getting their second try, but Dollhouse already looks to be in trouble. Damn it.

But the new V is on ABC, so everything's OK, right? Well, that remains to be seen. Lost has been around a while, but what else in the genre has ever made it for very long? I have hopes for FlashForward, and hopefully that one will catch on. But V is the one I'm anxious for. I absolutely loved the original, and its sequel, V: The Final Battle on NBC back in the 80s (the subsequent short-lived series, not so much). Done right, this show could be mind blowing.

So what are they doing? Waiting until November to start the show for one. And secondly, they're only going to air four episodes, and then take it off the air until the Olympics are over. Great. That'll work. Well, maybe it could work, if the show is really awesome, and ABC is smart enough to be very clear that the first four episodes are an "event" leading up to a full-fledged series this winter. Or something. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

[Excerpt]

ABC to break up 'V' debut; first four episodes air in November




An ABC spokeswoman confirmed exclusively to EW that V, the network’s much anticipated reboot of the old NBC miniseries, will air for a limited, four-episode run in November and then return to the schedule after the Olympics in March. . .

Read more at: Entertainment Weekly

Seth MacFarlane Sings on Talk Show

Since MadTV was cancelled, I've been watching the local news while waiting for Saturday Night Live to start. But weekend news is usually a snooze-fest, so the last couple of weeks, I've tuned back into FOX, and have found a new show called Talk Show with Spike Feresten.

I've never heard of Feresten before, but he's apparently a former writer for Seinfeld. Anyway, the last couple of weeks, he's done some great counter-programming, by interviewing great guests just as SNL is getting ready to start. This week, it was Seth MacFarlane, the creator/writer/voice artist of Family Guy and American Dad! I was impressed that Talk Show played up the resemblance between McFarlane and Christopher Knight (Peter Brady of The Brady Bunch)--something I've noted here on the blog. And I was even more impressed by the (really dirty) song that Seth sang.

I couldn't get just the singing clip anywhere, but here is the entire show, if you're interested, with the song starting at about 22 minutes in. Enjoy.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Gets Full Season

I've been a champion of FOX TV's Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles since practically the first episode. Of course, I was a big fan of the original movie series too, well, the first two anyway. I think I've had five versions of Terminator 2 alone (VHS, LaserDisk, Ultimate DVD, Extreme DVD and Blu-Ray). And that's what got me hooked on T:TSCC, given the fact that it basically follows a storyline set up in T2. It ignores the shaky T3: Rise of the Machines, by sort of writing it out of the timeline. Good idea.

Anyway, this season, the show has had some really kick ass episodes, some of the best sci-fi/action stuff on TV. But the ratings have been sort of anemic, which has worried fans like me. Good news! It's been picked up for the full season. Which means, even if it only gets that many new episodes, we'll have a total of around 32 hours of Terminator mythos to add to our video collections. Cool!

[Excerpt]

"Terminator" is back with full season of episodes

Fox has picked up "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" for a full season.

The network has ordered nine more episodes of the show's second season from Warner Bros., sources said. . .

Read more at: Reuters

Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles Season 2 Thrills!

Photo from source, FOX.com

I stepped away from the blog so that I could watch the season premiere of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, season 2 on the big screen TV. Man, am I glad I did! The little office TV would not have done it justice.

Last season, I begged and pleaded readers and FOX TV to save this show and bring it back for another year. Whatever small part I may have played was paid back with an amazing episode. Other season premieres this season are going to pale in comparison, frankly.

WARNING: Spoilers follow, if you have not yet watched the show.

They had to wrap up the story lines from the (writers' strike) truncated Season 1. "Good" Terminator Cameron was blown up in a car, the bad guys were after Sarah and John, and FBI Agent Ellison was spared by bad Terminator Chromartie--though his entire team was slaughtered. The biggest challenge for the writers was to figure out what to do with Cameron. Summer Glau who plays her is a pretty girl, and a hefty viewer draw. So they couldn't roast her down to the chassis.

What they did instead was have the explosion damage her body a little, and her "brain" a lot. She reverted to a bad Terminator that wanted to kill John Connor! I was actually glad they did this early in the series, because a "Cameron goes bad" episode was bound to happen, so better to get it out of the way early. And what an episode. The other bad guys were dispatched early, and the rest of the show was a terror spree, with Sarah and John eluding Cameron.

The entire show was action packed, suspenseful, and very much in the Terminator tone. The other big kick was the addition of an icy female villain, bent on creating the ultimate artificially intelligent computer (or something). I sort of expected her to be a Terminator also, but--WARNING: Spoiler, I mean it!--I did not expect her to be a full-fledged liquid metal model! While it may been a little too close to bringing in a Terminator 3 vibe, it gave me a fanboy thrill!

For more information on the episode, go to FOX.com, where there will likely soon be an online version of the episode, though it isn't up yet. Try to watch it this week, because episode 2 is on next Monday at 8:00 pm!

Highly Recommended

UPDATED: To include this awesome poster.

Did Josh Brolin Already Play Bush?

Images from source, Film Experience Blog

Here's an interesting analysis of an old episode of 21 Jump Street, one of the early shows on FOX. It was the launching pad for Johnny Depp, if you're too young to remember. In this particular episode, Josh Brolin--soon to star in Oliver Stone's W., a docu-drama about The Decider--plays a spoiled rich kid who likes the booze, broads and cocaine. Sound familiar?

[Excerpt]

"Guest Starring" Josh Brolin

At the risk of getting cheesy with a Before They Were Stars moment, let's go back to the time when Josh Brolin was only James Brolin's son. It wasn't until his very recent amazing triple play (No Country For Old Men, American Gangster, Grindhouse) that he became a true star just as he was turning 40. Now he's in demand. He'll play the lead role in Oliver Stone's George Bush bio W. this October and then Harvey Milk's assassin in Gus Van Sant's Milk in November. . .

Read more at: Film Experience Blog

If Chat Rooms Were Real

I love short films. It's one of the reasons I loved the short-lived FOX series, On the Lot. Finding them these days is easy, with 1,095 cable channels, and the intertubes at our fingertips. And once in a while you stumble upon one that is really funny/poignant/amazing. I'm not sure what category this film (not new, but new to me) would fall into, but it's good just the same. What if chat rooms were real?

Voice Actors on The Simpsons Holding Out

Image from source, TV Squad

Another piece from my new favorite site, TV Squad brings frightening news for fans of The Simpsons. The show has been renewed through season twenty (wow), but the voice actors are holding out for more money.

You know what, FOX? Pay it. They're worth it, and fans of the show will never sit still for sound-alikes. What you have there is a golden goose, something Rupert Murdoch may have a flock of (though surely not free-range), but you want to keep that sucker laying golden eggs, don't you? So pay up, Rupe. It's not like you'll even notice.

[Excerpt]

Trouble brewing on The Simpsons

Say it ain't so, Ho. Homey, that's is. According to Variety, even though Fox has given The Simpsons a renewal for season number 20, the voice talent that make the show have not been re-signed. Julie Kavner, Dan Castellaneta, Hank Azaria, Yeardley Smith, Nancy Cartwright and Harry Shearer -- the actors who are as integral to the success of The Simpsons as the writers and animators -- are looking for a new deal. The group make approximately $360,000 per episode. They want a raise to $500,000 per. . .

Read more at: TV Squad

FOX Renews Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles!

For all of the space I've allotted on this blog to FOX TV's Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, you'd think I would have noticed this news from a couple of days ago. Good news, if you haven't already heard. . .the show has been renewed for 13 episodes for fall 2008!

I'm thrilled with the news, of course, as this show quickly became a "must see" favorite. If you haven't yet seen this show, but are a fan of The Terminator franchise--or just a sci-fi fan in general, I urge you to check out the show this fall. Up until recently, you could view full episodes at FOX.com and Hulu.com, but those episodes seem to have been pulled.

Keep your eyes open for them to be reinstated on those sites. But maybe not, as the box set of Season One will be available in August. This show deserves a full season, hopefully several more.

[Excerpt]

Sarah Connor Chronicles To Return For Another Season

Viewers who thought "Sarah Connor" would be terminated can heave a sigh of relief as Fox agreed to give "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" another season . . .

Read more at: All Headline News

And more at TheTVAddict.com: Josh Freidman Talks SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES Season Two


Side note: With all of the links below, you can see I have been sort of obsessed with this show. So why the heck didn't I realize I've been spelling "Connor" "Conner" all along? I just had to go on an editing mission that took 15 minutes! Probably missed a couple. It would be easier if I could just time travel. . .

Previously:

FOX's Sarah Connor Chronicles May Be Back!
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles to Return?
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles on Hulu
Terminator TV Series Might Be Back!
Terminator 4 is Now Official
Random Thoughts of a Cranky Head Cold Sufferer
Terminator Timeline: My Attempt to Sort it Out
TV Review: Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Fall TV: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

FOX's Sarah Connor Chronicles May Be Back!

Image from source, Nightly.net

I keep finding these tantalizing tidbits that Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles will be back for a second season, but nothing--sadly--definitive. I hate to be beholden to Rupert Murdoch, but please, oh great evil one, bring this show back!

[Excerpt]

‘Sarah Connor Chronicles’ May Not Yet Be Terminated

Possibly spilling the beans early to Hollywood Reporter, Fox Entertainment President Keven Reilly admits that the Arnold vehicle actually not featuring Arnold in any way may be headed back to network TV this Fall. Reilly states that it was Fox’s strongest new drama of the season and stands the best chance of returning next year. He even goes as far as to say that the show has already begun on staffing for the upcoming season.

Read more at: Nightly.net

Previously:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles to Return?
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles on Hulu
Terminator TV Series Might Be Back!
Terminator 4 is Now Official
Random Thoughts of a Cranky Head Cold Sufferer
Terminator Timeline: My Attempt to Sort it Out
TV Review: Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Fall TV: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles to Return?

Photo from source, TV By the Numbers

As a pop-culture nut, there is usually at least one TV show per season that I fall in love with that ends up "on the bubble." There is always a maddening wait between the final episode, and when word comes down from the networks, with a pick-up or a cancellation.

This year, for me, it was FOX-TV's Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I've written about it quite a lot, and even posted a link to a petition to save the show (and here it is again).

While there is still nothing definitive from FOX, the following excerpt indicates that the chances for the show's renewal are very good indeed. But remember, the future is not set. . .there's no fate but what we make! Sign the petition!

[Excerpt]

Fox “On The Bubble”: Terminator:SCC, Many Others

Guaranteed Return

Moment of Truth has been Fox’s bona fide hit this season. Lots more lie detector tests are on the way.

Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles wasn’t a home run, but it was a solid double as Fox’s 6th best show for 18-49s. . .

Read more at: TV By the Numbers

Previously:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles on Hulu

Terminator TV Series Might Be Back!

Terminator 4 is Now Official

Random Thoughts of a Cranky Head Cold Sufferer

Terminator Timeline: My Attempt to Sort it Out

TV Review: Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Fall TV: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

New Video Service "Hulu" Debuts

I've been wondering why FOX is so determined to expunge YouTube of clips of shows like The Simpsons and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, programs with a cult fan base. After all, the more exposure they get through clips would end up bringing them revenue by expanding their audience, right? Sure, people get a free peek, but the small size and resolution of YouTube wouldn't be enough for fans who want the real thing. It just whets their appetite. For instance, after watching (since removed) clips of BTVS, I've since acquired the entire series on DVD.

But now I've figured it out. Evil Uncle Rupert has hatched a rival video service (with NBC Universal). And it looks like they're featuring embeddeable full episodes of. . .The Simpsons and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and lots more. The service isn't entirely active yet, but when it is, I'll surely give it a whirl.

[Excerpt]

Hulu goes live with free TV shows, movies online

Hulu, the online video joint venture of News Corp. (NWS) and General Electric's (GE) NBC Universal, makes its public debut Wednesday with programming from Warner Bros., Lionsgate (LGF) and sports leagues. . .

Read more at: USA Today

Terminator TV Series Might Be Back!

Photo from source, E! Online

Several times I've been burned by the TV networks, most often by FOX for prematurely cancelling a show that I was into. Off the top of my head, VR-5, John Doe, Strange Luck, Firefly, Something is Out There, Twin Peaks, V. . . Yes, some of those shows are moldy-oldies, but they all have a common theme: they are science-fiction and/or off-beat. So unless the show has something that really draws me in (Lost, Enterprise) I ignore the show until I see if it's going to last.

Well, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is one of those shows I simply had to watch. I've already commented on the program a few times (here, here, here and here), but all along my biggest concern was that the show would be cancelled. Especially now that the season has wrapped up, and I'm totally in love with it. The following excerpt is from an article that lifted my spirits a little bit. It's not definitive, but it's good news. Remember, the future is not set! There's no fate but what we make!

Sign a petition to renew the show here: Renew FOX's "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles"

[Excerpt]

Terminator: Barring Any Vats of Liquid Metal...It'll Be Bahk

Many of you have been asking about the fate of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, so I'm happy to report that barring any apocalyptic shifts at the Fox network, Terminator is very likely to return in the fall.

Now, the official word from the network is, "No word yet regarding season two. Fox usually announces returning shows in May around upfronts." However, in addition to some scuttlebutt that came our way yesterday saying production is set to resume in mid to late June, star Thomas Dekker told me at last night's American Idol party he was feeling pretty good and is "pretty sure" the new season will happen. . .

Read more at: E! Online

Terminator Timeline: My Attempt to Sort it Out

Or, "Come With Me if You Want to Live"

I've written before about getting lost in "Wiki holes," where you just lose yourself in Wikipedia (and related links) for hours, reading about the history of things. Over the last few days, I've taken up an interest in The Terminator franchise, particularly because of the current Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles series on FOX.

Many fans of the series take exception with each new episode (and the movies themselves) for inconsistent chronology. Thus is born the "fanwank," which is an effort to make sloppy writing (or unrevealed plot points) "fit" into a consistent timeline. The same thing happens in any series that has been written/produced by many different people. One commonly held belief is that such series should hire a fan to keep track of continuity!

The Terminator franchise throws in a HUGE monkey wrench because of the use of time travel. This causes as many divergent opinions, because different people have different ideas on how potential time travel should operate. Some think time can't be changed, so everything must fit in a consistent, linear fashion. Others think time can be changed, and the future is not set (an actual quote from the series, by the way). Still others think that every time someone moves in time, a new reality is created.

The problem with the "time can't be changed" theory is that it creates paradoxes: Kyle Reese can't be John Connor's father, because if he were, how could Connor send him back in the past to be his father if John Connor wouldn't exist without him? The only solution here is that time is a closed loop, and that Connor always sent him back from the future. Which blows my mind a little.

The third theory, that separate timelines are created, won't fit in my head. Each new time traveler creates his own universe, and the original still exists? Where did the matter come from to create a whole new reality? Dozens, hundreds, millions of "separate realities" are all existing at the same time in different dimensions? How? What exactly created them?

I prefer the "no fate but what we make" method of thought. But with a few tweaks. In order for it to work, the time traveller himself has to be unaffected by any action he takes in the past. Sure, he might wipe out his own existence in the future, but he himself--his current time traveller self--does not wink out of existence. The future--the only future--changes with every action taken by the time traveller. People he interacts with, mates with, kills--everything--would change the future he knows. But he himself does not change, and he still remembers the future he is from. With that in mind (if it makes any sense), here is my Terminator timeline.

The Terminator - Kyle Reese is sent back from his future by John Connor, the leader of the resistance against the machines. He is sent back to protect Sarah Connor, so that she can give birth to John. The machines send back a Terminator to kill her. It kills Kyle instead, but not before Kyle gets Sarah preggers. Sarah destroys the Terminator. But parts are left behind.

CONTINUED (Click Link Below)

Terminator 2: Judgement Day - In a now altered future, a John Connor who has Kyle Reese as a father sends back a reprogrammed Terminator to protect his 10-year-old self (and sends Kyle Reese too? Ah geez, another wrinkle). The machines send back a liquid-metal Terminator (possibly one that never existed in the T1 future) to kill John. The parts from the original T1 Terminator are used by Cyberdyne to propel Skynet's creation faster than would have ordinarily happened. Sarah and the good Terminator destroy the liquid Terminator, all the parts of the T1 Terminator, and the good Terminator himself. No evidence is left, except possibly off-site software backups from Cyberdyne.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines - I hated this movie, from a timeline perspective. We can assume that something survived from Cyberdyne's records, and that Skynet still came into being, but later. We now have (at least) a third future where Terminators are sent back, but it doesn't really matter, because. . .

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - From another version of the future, a reprogrammed female Terminator is sent back to protect John Connor in 1999. A bad Terminator is sent back to kill him. The good Terminator locates a time portal, built over the years by an unknown group of people sent back to 1963. The female Terminator launches Sarah and John into 2007, unwittingly taking part of the bad Terminator with them. In 2007, a group of resistance fighters has also been sent back, along with assorted other bad Terminators with various missions.

Now, in the first two movies, most events in the timeline worked, and don't need to be "fanwanked." In the third movie, continuity was thrown out the window, but it doesn't matter, because it has been retconned out of existence, effectively. Unknown events before T:TSCC caused that future to not take place. Or, unknown events from the series cause T3:ROTM to happen. Either way, I'm ignoring it.

Several events in T:TSCC have differed from what we "know" from T1 and T2. From my perspective, these events do not need to be fanwanked away. This is the current timeline, up to this point. Who knows how many versions of the timeline have happened by now? Just because there were three movies and a series doesn't mean that we, the viewer, are privvy to everything that has happened. After T2:JD, there could have been two, three, a dozen different adventures that altered the timeline to how it appears now. The producers of the show are free do do pretty much whatever they want. And the movie makers can then retcon the series. Time travel is very freeing that way!

Unfortunately, my brain won't let that work, not entirely. After all, any person's conception is determined by which sperm hits the egg. Alter the conception by a day, a minute, a second. . .and you are a different person. So global, or even local events that are changed would fundamentally change the people involved in these adventures. With all the changes made, the John Connor of 2029 would be a vastly different person, or at least have different memories and compatriots each time. So I'll have to find a fanwank for that one. Not to mention that if different future John Connors have sent back different Kyle Reeses, Sarah Connor had a very busy dance card.

Variety Reports CBS, NBC & FOX Returning Slate

Photo from source, Variety

Avid TV watchers have been wondering, now that the writers' strike is over, when are my shows coming back? Most of the networks are now rolling out their plans, with some good news (lots of old favorites will be back), and some bad (Bionic Woman looks like it got a short-circuit).

I have to wonder how badly this will have wounded network television in general. Even with some shows coming back, we still have to wait several weeks, in some cases even two months. Will viewers come back?

[Excerpt]

CBS, NBC roll out post-strike slate

CBS, NBC and Fox have started making plans for life after the strike. [snip]

"How I Met Your Mother," "Big Bang Theory" and "Two and a Half Men" will return with originals that night, joining the still-in-originals "New Adventures of Old Christine." A week later, on March 24, "CSI: Miami" is slated to be the first Eye drama to return with new episodes. . .

Check out the rest of the story at: Variety

TV Review: Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Image from FOX.com

Last night, I missed the first episode of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (putting Terminator in the title was a good idea, by the way). I found out at work from a co-worker that it had been on. Sure, I'd seen all of the ads of the girl Terminator's torso suspended from cables (direct steal from Star Trek: First Contact). But I'd seen it so often, I didn't pay attention I guess.

Now, far be it for me to be impressed by Rupert Murdoch, but the video-on-demand at FOX.com was outstanding. Very good quality, and no commercials--sweet. Right after watching the online version, I was just in time to catch episode two in hi def on TV. So, on to the review.

Wow. I am impressed. This was everything Terminator 3 should have been but wasn't. And the producers of the show have wisely made the show pick up after T2, and seem to be largely ignoring the third film. In fact, if all three movies and this show are considered cannon, T:TSCC effectively erases part three from the continuity anyway, since they've changed the timeline in the story.

The elements of the first two films are all there (except for Arnold, and you won't miss him), especially the whole vibe of part 2. So far we don't have any shape-shifting Terminators, but that was sort of a 90s CG "ain't it cool" thing anyway. Lena Headey plays Sarah Connor with the same intensity as Linda Hamilton, and you believe her as the character right away. The other actors acquit themselves nicely too. I really have no complaints.

I thought the show was going to be a The Fugitive or The Incredible Hulk style drama, with our heroes on the run from town to town every week. But episode two seems to be setting them up in at least a semi-permanent location. I don't know if they can keep the quality and energy level up from week to week, but if they do, I have another "must see" show to add to the schedule--at least until the writers' strike catches up to them.

I'm sure many Terminator fans (of the nitpicker variety) will find countless things to pick at, from the temporal to merely continuity problems, but I loved it. It was everything I'd hoped the new Bionic Woman would be, but wasn't. BW leaves me mildly entertained, but not eagerly anticipating the next episode. T:TSCC leaves me excited, and counting the days.

Emmy Awards Controversy

Photo from source, television.aol.com

OK, now that the show has aired, I can finally read the afore-mentioned AOL story on the Emmys controversy. Nice of them to put that on their splash page while the show was just airing in the West. Harrumph.

Anyway, the FOX censors got a little melodramatic, cutting away to a silent shot of a large disco ball over the stage, blanking out whatever it was that Ray Romano and Sally Field were saying at different times during the show. Much ado about nothing, I think. A simple bleep would have done just fine, and not called so much attention to it.

Another note: that whole "in the round" concept was not a good idea. These shows are usually played against a backdrop, and the entrances and exits are obvious. Most of the stars looked confused about which way to go. Not to mention, half the audience present had to look at backsides. I'll bet they go back to the traditional stage setup next year (another prediction!).

[Excerpt]

Emmy Censors Get Workout

Ray Romano joked about his former "Everybody Loves Raymond" wife, Patricia Heaton, sleeping with her new "Back to You" co-star Kelsey Grammer. But he used a stronger word than "sleeping," which prompted Fox to cut away for a few seconds. [snip]

Sally Field praised mothers when she won an Emmy for lead actress in a drama series but also let her anti-war sentiments surface with a God-related swear word." And, let's face it, if the mothers ruled the war, there would be no (expletive) wars in the first place," Field said.

From: television.aol.com

UPDATE: The video is now available:

We'll Always Have Paris

Which came first, idiocy in the news media, or in the populace? That chicken and egg question has come up many times in my social circle, and we never really resolve it. There seems to be a weekly distraction that bumps virtually every valid news story off the air, on all the news channels. Is the news media inherently ridiculous, or is the public stupid, and really just love this stuff?

Our latest news-hole (no pun intended), is every action or inaction made or not made by Paris Hilton. She is only the latest in a very long series of these news-suckers (again, no pun intended). We've had Chandra Levy (not her fault, of course), O. J. Simpson, Britney Spears, Robert Blake, Natalee Halloway, Jon Benet, and of course the budding romance between Natalee's Mom and Jon Benet's Dad. How sweet! If they adopt Anna Nicole's baby, it will be a tabloid trifecta!

It does seem with the latest one-two-three punch of Anna Nicole's death, Britney's breakdown, and Paris goes to jail, that we are really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Excepting Britney's very limited vocal talent, these women are basically famous for being famous. This used to be a role inhabited by Zsa Zsa Gabor or Charo. And hey, at least they had those wacky accents! How did this group of "celebutards" (thanks, Stephanie Miller!) become more important than actual world and national affairs?

News of Joint Chiefs Chairman Peter Pace's resignation was cut off to bring us the essential footage of Paris leaving her house, and getting in her car to go to court. On MSNBC, you could actually hear someone screaming in the background on the set, either in urgency or disgust, I'm not sure which.

The news media has always been attracted to bright sparkly objects. But you'd think with three 24-hour news channels, you'd get more news. Paradoxically, we get less. The news media seems completely unable to focus on ANY important news anymore. The Anna Nicoles and Parises somehow manage to eclipse virtually everything else, except during those perfect storms when more than one celebutard does something off the wall. Has anyone noticed that MSNBC and FOX "news" actually interrupt their programs every hour or so--for news breaks? It's kind of like when MTV interrupts programming to show us some music.

I remember when the tabloids first crossed over to television. There was a horde of programs like Hard Copy, Inside Edition and A Current Affair (hosted by, surprise, Bill O'Reilly). These shows were somewhere between Entertainment Tonight and The Jerry Springer Show. But nobody confused them with NEWS. And yet somehow, all of the news networks decide to shovel this shizz at us, and then claim it's what we want. It is? Am I the only person who leaps for the remote whenever there is a Paris story on?

There has to be a market for REAL NEWS. If MSNBC really wants to set itself apart, and finally get out of third place, maybe Dan Abrams should give the whole network a make over. Save celeb gossip and news for short stinger segments at the end of the program (like Keith Olbermann's Countdown often does). If it's a huge story, like Linday Lohan cut off her leg because she likes the pirate look--mention it, give the details, and move on. Focus on the big stuff that happened in the world. If you must have commentary shows, comment on important stuff, not "Rosie Vs. the Donald" garbage. I'll bet MSNBC would catapult to first, and it would set such an example. I can't believe I'm the only one sick of all the tripe.