Oregon Refuge Standoff, and the Derp of Knee-Jerk Politics

Well, the fifth day of the year is almost over, and I've yet to blog once! I guess that tells you about my waning desire to blog of late. Utterly committed to keeping it going, but very low on the blogging bug. Too bad I never managed to monetize the thing, that might have done the trick! Annnnyway. . . .

The one thing capturing my attention (especially with sheer boredom setting in with the pre-Iowa, post-never-ending-months-of-campaigning 2016 battle) is the Oregon standoff. It's funny. It's stupid. It's absolutely larded with misinformation, complete with a compounding and conflicting back-story. And the best part is, this is the best they could do.

Don't believe everything you read. Particularly in a Facebook meme.

For years now, the fringy-fringe of the increasingly mainstream fringe of the conservative-Republican-Libertarian side of politics have been threatening revolution. Whether it's over legal gay marriage, abortion, gun "grabbing," government overreach, race wars. . .pick one or all. They've been threatening "2nd Amendment Solutions." The loons over at FreeRepublic have been itching for Civil War for at least since Obama was elected, probably as far back as the Clinton years. And it was easy to laugh, conjuring images of obese, older white men (and a few women) riding their hover-rounds in formation, with big old guns strapped across their backs to compensate for. . .shortcomings.

They're always a combination of vague on reasoning and solutions, and OCD-levels of detailed on their conspiracy theories. They can belch out long strings of data about what the government has done that aggrieves them. It's barnacled with half-truths, supposition, illogic, lies and loads of Alex Jones' InfoWars tinfoil-hat conspiracy crap. Do you see the meme posted here? It's culled from the Facebook page of one of my mother's conservative friends. It has more than a half dozen errors in it. Here are the ones I'm aware of:

- The Bureau of Land Management was created by FDR in 1946, which pre-dates 1964 by 18 years.
- The Hammonds were accused of setting at least one of the fires to cover up poaching crimes.
- Their fires spread to federally owned land. Which is. . .federal land. . .even if portions of it were being leased by the Hammonds.
- The charge was arson, not "terrorism."

That gun is pointing at the Feds. No one was shot. Isn't that something?
Image from Business Insider.

- They weren't charged with "terrorism" again, or ever.
- The BLM didn't send them to prison, a judge did, after a jury found them guilty.
- They were sentenced to complete their original mandatory minimum sentence, as the original judge didn't follow the correct sentencing guidelines.

To top it all off, the Hammonds themselves willingly turned themselves in. They don't support these yahoos in their "freedom fight." The Bundy family and their allies are not from Oregon, either. In fact, it would seem that the Bundy family--not content with their conservative fame when they held of the Feds at gunpoint and miraculously weren't fired upon--is simply spoiling for a fight. They're looking to start that insurrection the conservative whack-a-doodles have been promising for so long. By taking over a closed bird sanctuary. Ooh, how daring. But they are armed and dangerous, I suppose. Idiots strapped to the tits with weaponry usually are. And one can't help but wonder if they would even still be breathing if they were any other group, taking over a government installation with weapons. Any other color, specifically, but I imagine even any other religion, any other political ideology, any other kind of lethal weapons, rather than guns. I suspect we'd have nuked the site from orbit, metaphorically speaking.

But the meme above is eaten whole by people like my mother's friend. They'll immediately believe anything that seems to comport with their politics. They'll somehow blame it on Obama. And they'll insist Trump is the answer. And I'm sure The Donald would insist that he is too! Because he's just as vague but certain as they are.

[Excerpt]
 
Bundy Boys Promise To Hold Refuge Until People 'Claim It'



Wow, talk about a nanny state. For all the proclamations about liberty and freedom, Ammon Bundy is behaving like a protective grandma. . . Read more at: Crooks and Liars

World's Dumbest Focus Group Says Trump "Classy," "One of Us"

Herp derp. Image from Talking Points Memo

Wow. The Donald--current GOP 2016 presidential primary leader, and bombastic BS artist--sure has these people snowed. What's more, the man who speaks in vagueries, likewise seems to inspire vague reasoning in his supporters. Basically, they don't know why they support him they just do. It's a cult of personality. That couldn't be clearer, when you have this group thinking Trump is "one of us." Or confusing an unfiltered, stream-of-consciousness crassness for either "truth telling" or "classiness." It's just baffling.

It will be interesting to see how this recalibrate after the first FOX "News" debate next week. Undoubtedly, Donald Trump will be the main focus of the event. The lion's share of reporting will be about how Trump responds to debate questions, how he interacts with the other candidates, how well he bats down what they lob at him, how they try to "out-Trump Trump." He'll also undoubtedly crack a few zingers--I really hope he curses--that become the crystalizing and memorable "moment" of the first debate. But will he have a single concrete policy idea? Will there be any substance to what he has to say beyond insults, platitudes and vagaries? I rather doubt it. And given his extraordinarily undeveloped and shallow pool of extemporaneous vocabulary words, I'm hoping he comes through as the boob that he is.

He may not shed the 20-25% of the GOP nutbars who have fallen under his allure. But at least maybe the media will begin to treat him as he should be treated: as an egotistical curiosity.

[Excerpt]

New Hampshire Focus Group Fawns Over Trump: 'He's Like One Of Us'

At least 12 voters in the first-in-the-nation primary state of New Hampshire are absolutely gaga over real estate mogul Donald Trump. Bloomberg Politics' John Heilemann sat down Wednesday night with a focus group of 12 Trump supporters in the Granite State who riffed on why they thought the billionaire was the best candidate in a crowded GOP presidential field. . . 

Read more at: TPM

Right Wing World: Politicians Pander to Fearful GOP Fringe in Texas

I hesitated when writing "Fringe" in the headline. Because, clearly, the fringe has been wholly assimilated into the Republican mainstream these days. What would you have to believe to be considered a fringe right-winger these days? I mean, when you've got a batshit crazy conspiracy theory being given promotion and credence by elected officials and presidential candidates? You've gone around the bend, and I don't think you're coming back. So, please spare me the "both sides are the same." They really aren't. Find me a left-wing Louie Gohmert. You can't do it.

[Excerpt]

Conservatives Keep Pouring Fuel On The Texas Takeover Fire

The Pentagon has no plans to stage a military takeover of the Lone Star state. There are no tunnels covertly being constructed under West Texas' shuttered Wal-Mart stores.
So why are the fringes of the Internet still abuzz with rumors that the U.S. military is on the cusp of imposing martial law in "hostile" Texas under the guise of a training exercise dubbed "Jade Helm 15"? Representatives of the military and Utah Gov. Gary Herbert (R), whose state is expected to host part of the planned training exercise, have sought to tamp down speculation that "Jade Helm 15" is anything other than a standard training exercise. . .

Read more at: Talking Points Memo

How Old is the Earth? 2016 GOP Candidates Refuse to Say

Image from source, Wonkette

Pandering, thy name is Republican. Well, either pandering or ignorance, I suppose some of it could be ignorance. Or blind faith (which is--I'm sorry--not a virtue). If you've got another reason why a candidate for the highest elected office in the country (and leader of the free world) would refuse to say how old the earth is, I'm open to it. I've known the answer was 4.5 billion years since freshman earth science. But these candidates have to pander to their "base," which believes strongly that the earth is 6,000-ish years old. Which is preposterous on its face.

The recipe for beer is older than that. How these people explain thing like fossil fuels, or--you know--granite forming in such a short time would be interesting. Or mind-numbing.

[Excerpt]

How Old Is The Earth? Golly Gee, Republicans Running For President *Just Don’t Know*!

. . .To understand any of these issues requires some basic familiarity with the established science behind them. Only raging morons would put someone unfamiliar with the most rudimentary tenets of an issue in charge of making decisions about that issue. (What? Really? The guy with the snowball is chair of the Environment Committee?) Only the majority party in both houses of congress would put someone unfamiliar with the most rudimentary tenets of an issue in charge of making decisions about that issue. But I repeat myself. . .

Read more at: Wonkette

Idaho Lawmaker Literally Thinks Babies Come Out of Mommy's Tummy

Vito Barbieri (R-Obviously), whose parents apparently never have
him "the talk."

The stupid. It burns. As a camera would have to do to get from a woman's digestive tract to her vagina. Jesus, I'm a gay guy, and I knew more about the lady parts than this guy.

[Excerpt]

Idaho Lawmaker Wonders If Women Could Have A Gyno Exam By Swallowing A Tiny Camera
 
An Idaho lawmaker revealed his confusion about female anatomy during a legislative debate over a proposed abortion bill on Monday. According to the Associated Press, Idaho Rep. Vito Barbieri (R) asked a doctor testifying before the House State Affairs Committee whether a woman could have a remote gynecological exam by swallowing a tiny camera. Dr. Julie Madsen told him no, that’s not possible, because items that are swallowed do not end up in the vagina. . .

Read more at: The Daily Buzz

What Happens in Vegas: Jose Canseco Shoots Himself in the Hand

Some reports are saying he shot off his middle finger, others shot himself "in the hand." Either way, the story sounds extra stupid: he was cleaning it, and didn't know it was loaded. What? I always thought he looked a little thick, but even I don't think he's that dumb. Something more to the story, I'm thinking.

Image from source, LVRJ.com

[Excerpt]

Police: Former baseball star Jose Canseco shoots own hand

A former professional baseball player accidentally shot himself in the hand while cleaning his gun Tuesday afternoon, Las Vegas police said. Police were called to Market Crest Drive, near Hollywood Boulevard and Bonanza Road, at about 2:30 p.m. on reports of a gun going off inside a home. Upon arrival, officers were met in the front yard by Jose Canseco, who told them his gun discharged while he was cleaning it, Lt. Mark Reddon said. . .

Read more at: Las Vegas Review-Journal

America the Stupid: GOP Poor Love ObamaCare, Just Not the "Obama" Part

Idiots. Plain and simple. Like those teabaggers who would say, "keep your government hands off of my Medicare," anyone who is enjoying insurance for the first time, on account of the Affordable Care Act, and yet plans to vote Republican anyway. . .is an idiot. Those same Republicans have held how many votes--60?--to try to repeal "ObamaCare." They held a relentless campaign to demonize it, practically from its first formative step, to well after its introduction. They were so successful at making it seem that the ACA is the most evil piece of legislation ever, that even those who like it, hate it, if you just phrase the question right. Why would someone in such a position vote against their best interests? And yet they do. Consistently.

The Rude Pundit

Here's a great piece by Lee Papa, The Rude Pundit, from last week on the subject.

[Excerpt]

Toothless Hicks Agree: We Love Obamacare, Wish a White Man Had Signed It

So the New York Times interviewed people in Kentucky who have taken advantage of one part or another of the Affordable Care Act, especially the expansion of Medicaid. Robin Evans, a 49 year-old with high blood pressure and Graves' disease, is just "tickled to death" to have insurance coverage, which she had gone without for years. Of course, she's gonna vote Mitch McConnell out of office since he has made it his mission to repeal the ACA. Said Evans, "Born and raised Republican...I ain’t planning on changing now. . ."

See more at: The Rude Pundit

Jon Stewart Spanks House Science Committee for Stupidity on Climate Change

Perfection, as usual.

[Excerpt]

Stewart Blows Up on GOP Over Climate Change: ‘Pushing a Million Pounds of Idiot Up a Mountain’
 
Jon Stewart on Monday slammed a U.S House hearing regarding climate change, comparing the Republican-led session to “pushing a million pounds of idiot up a mountain.” The Wednesday hearing featured testimony from John Holdren, President Barack Obama‘s adviser on science and technology. Stewart showed clips of Republicans Steve Stockman of Texas, Dana Rohrabacher of California and Larry Bucshon of Indiana doubting the effects of climate change. . .

Read more (with video) at: Mediaite

Sarah Palin Channel's Latest Folksy Video

'Cause ya know ya wanna see it, also.

[Excerpt]

Sarah Palin Channel's Latest Video Is Just A Bunch Of Word Salad


 
The latest video on Sarah Palin's eponymous online network was billed as a rebuttal to Sen. Elizabeth Warren's (D-MA) Netroots Nation speech, but some of Palin's points were just too incoherent to follow. In the video posted Friday, Palin responded point by point to eleven "commandments" that Warren outlined in her speech to the progressive confab last month. Warren's sixth point, that fast food workers deserve a living wage, drew so much scorn from Palin that she stumbled over her words a few times. . .

Read more at: Talking Points Memo

Sarah Palin: Dumb Down (A Rocky Mountain Mike Song Parody)

A tribute to the brilliance of Sarah Palin, to the tune of Sun Down by Gordon Lightfoot.

Hear all of Rocky Mountain Mike's stuff at Soundcloud. And buy his album!

 

Totally Not Gay Rick Perry's Ideas on The GayThing

Rick Perry was once the great GOP hope. I mean after Fred Thompson, who turned out to be a big snooze. Perry was handsome, and rugged. He's been a governor of Texas, which makes him seem even more manly. But he turned out to be something of a tone-deaf goober. And a bit of a dolt.

Now, this isn't the first time Perry has shown a mixture of stupidity/ignorance, mixed with a good helping of homophobia. But I think it's particularly ironic, when you consider that Perry has had gay rumors swirling about him for years. So, it makes me wonder. I mean if Perry is on the "down-low," maybe this is how he's compartmentalized it in his mind? Like a drunk who decides not to drink, he just decides not to acknowledge his true feelings?

Image from source, Think Progress

[Excerpt]

Rick Perry Derides Gay ‘Lifestyle’, Compares It To Alcoholism
 
This past weekend, the Texas Republican Party approved a new platform plank that endorsed ex-gay therapy for those “who are seeking escape from the homosexual lifestyle.” Asked about the platform Wednesday night, Gov. Rick Perry (R) seemed to defend it by suggesting that homosexuality is comparable to alcoholism. “Whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that,” Perry suggested. “I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way. . .”

Read more at: ThinkProgress

One More Time: Obama Doesn't Wear "Mom Jeans"

Sarah Palin, ever the original, has hauled out once again, a joke about the president wearing "mom jeans." I've written about this before, and it's really not a case of me defending the president. It's a case of me defending a joke. The joke is--as is made abundantly clear in the original Saturday Night Live sketch--that some moms wear jeans with enormous rises, with vast expanses of denim betwixt waist and crotch. This makes a pooch in the front, and a long, flat butt in the back. It's a specific thing.

President Obama on the other hand, tends to wear relaxed-fit, or loose-fit jeans. Like virtually every American who would actually be laughing at a "mom jeans" joke. Of course, the joke itself has a lot to do with homophobia, and casting Obama as either woman-like or gayish. Don't tell me it's not. Where else does the joke go, since the accuracy of the charge is so off? Anyway, I decided to make a graphic, just to show you what I mean. So, here you go.

 

And in case you still don't understand what I'm getting at, here's the original bit:

 

 



Neanderthals Smarter Than Sarah Palin?

Again, come on! How could I ignore a headline like this?

[Excerpt]

Neanderthals were smarter than Sarah Palin, researchers say. Sort of.

No offense, but your ancestors probably were no brighter than a Neanderthal. That’s the message a pair of researchers delivered on Wednesday after analyzing archaeological evidence detailing the capabilities of Neanderthals, our closest extinct human relative, compared to the early modern humans who first crossed their path about 40,000 years ago. . .

Read more at: Raw Story

Right Wing World: Sarah Palin Would Torture if She Were in Charge

Oh boy, we really dodged a bullet, didn't we? This gormless, ridiculous woman had a shot at the second-highest elected office in the land. Since she thankfully missed that shot, she's been on a relentless, lucrative, crazy train of embarrassing word salad pronouncements. And just keeps managing to top herself. Looking more and more like a (very masculine) drag queen version of herself, Sarah Palin appeared before the NRA. Apparently not understanding that the topic of the group is guns, Palin decided to announce that she's pro-torture. Well, it was presented as a "joke." And if she were remotely funny. . .well, never mind.  I watched a few moments of the clip linked below, and had to shut it off. That voice could cut glass.


[Excerpt]
 
Sarah Palin: If I Were President ‘Waterboarding Is How We’d Baptize Terrorists’

“. . .If I were in charge,” Palin said, “[America's enemies] would know that waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists. . .”

Read more (with video) at: Mediaite

What Happens in NEAR Vegas : Cliven Bundy' Claims to "Ancestral Land" Bunk

1800s, huh? Sure, dude, whatever. The longer this story goes on, and the more I learn, the more I think the supporters of Cliven Bundy are just mental cases. What exactly is the claim of "freedom" here?

Tell us another one, Clive. Image from source,
8NewsNow

[Excerpt]

I-Team: Bundy's 'ancestral rights' come under scrutiny

Federal authorities remain silent about their next plans to confront Cliven Bundy at his Bunkerville ranch. Both sides are fighting over history, with federal courts denying Bundy's claims of "ancestral rights" on the Virgin River valley. The I-Team dug into century-old records to examine Bundy's claims. . .

Read more at: 8NewsNow

Jon Stewart Doesn't "Get" Cliven Bundy Protest Either

Image from source, Mediaite

Turns out, my confusion over exactly what supporters of Cliven Bundy are standing up for isn't really confusion. They don't really know either. Their thinking that the government response to twenty years of delinquent payments was "excessive," is pretty much all they've got. Beyond that, you've got Bundy--who claims to not recognize the existence or authority of the United States government--a fringy nut, who owes the government a whole lot of money, but doesn't want to pay. How that drew out a demented tea bagger posse, I have no idea. But I suspect they've been itching for "go time" (armed insurrection) for some time, and they took this as a trial run.

Jon Stewart, of course, has a funnier take than I do. That's why he gets paid the big bucks.

[Excerpt]

‘Who the Hell Is on This Guy’s Side?’ Stewart Tears into Hannity for Bundy Hypocrisy

Jon Stewart tackled the Cliven Bundy situation (which he described as a classic “boy has cow, boy breaks law for 20 years, boy loses cow story”) Monday night, tearing into Sean Hannity in particular for hypocrisy when it comes to “people scamming off the taxpayers. . .”

Read more at: Mediaite or watch the video here.

The Gay Thing: Louisiana Votes to Retain Sodomy Law

There are pockets of mean and pockets of stupid in this country. And they tend to make news, and they often converge. For what other reason than a blend of stupidity and meanness would a state keep a law on the books that was ruled unconstitutional more than a decade ago? But Louisiana did it, retaining a law against sodomy. Which means, the conservative government of the Bayou State wants government big enough to peek into your bedroom, and let you know that only state approved sex acts are allowed.

[Excerpt]

Louisiana House votes 27-66 to keep unconstitutional anti-sodomy law on the books

The Louisiana House of Representatives rejected legislation, on Tuesday, that would remove the state's symbolic ban on certain kinds of sodomy. The bill failed by a wide margin on a vote of 27-67, with 11 members not voting. . .

Read more at: The Times-Picayune

Louie Gohmert is an Idiot, Part #87

Texas should be embarrassed. Eric Holder deserves a medal for putting up with Gohmert, and for the masterful asparagus dig.
 

America The Stupid: #CancelColbert

I've been wanting to write this post all day, but wasn't able to think of an approach to it. I'm still not sure I have. Sometimes the wave of stupid is so strong, that it's difficult to figure out how to point it all out. In case you haven't heard, there is a protest going on of Stephen Colbert, and his satirical "news" program, The Colbert Report. It manifested as a trending hashtag, #CancelColbert. And the entire reasoning behind it is, as I said, stupid.

The segment, which aired on Thursday night, was about the owner of the Washington Redskins, and his refusal to change the name of the team, despite the fact that the name is a racial slur against Native Americans. Now, before we get into the bit, can I ask, why won't they change the name? It's not even unusual for a sports team to change names or mascots, why on earth are they so attached to it? Anyway, the owner's "compromise" was to set up a charitable fund for Native Americans instead.

Colbert's bit mocked this notion by resurrecting a (purposefully) offensive Asian character, "Ching-Chong Ding-Dong." Now, let's first point out that the character was originally used in response to a Rush Limbaugh controversy, where Rush went on at length in a sing-song faux Asian voice. And, while Limbaugh did get a little heat over it for like a day, I don't recall conservatives being up in arms about it. Funny that.

Anyway, Colbert's entire bit was both a rip on the owner of the Redskins, and on age-old Asian stereotypes held by mostly white people. Even the "Orientals or whatever" part of the faux charity name was a jab at people who complain that ethnic groups sometimes change their preferred name, and deem older terms offensive. There was nothing in the bit that was out of character, literally. The character of "Stephen Colbert" (rather than the actor) is an obtuse, jingoistic, arch conservative. He's an educated, polished Archie Bunker.

I really believe that the only people complaining about this--on the left or right--fall into just a few small categories: a) humorless people who don't understand satire, b) knee-jerk reactionaries who overreacted to a piece of the joke tweeted out of context, c) people who are always looking to be outraged about something, and d) people who probably aren't really upset, but squawk about this for other reasons.

I suppose some people of Asian descent might be offended, not knowing the full context, or the original reason for the creation of the character. But I think that's still a knee-jerk reaction. We're all guilty of that from time to time. But for heaven's sake, let it go. This is not what you thought it was. And Colbert is not going to be cancelled over this. But he might have to make an unwarranted Martin Bashir-like apology. I really hope not. I hope he turns it into an even better bit.

[Excerpt]

People Want 'The Colbert Report' Canceled Over Asian Joke
 
Twitter users aimed to get the hashtag #CancelColbert trending on Thursday night after the official Twitter account for "The Colbert Report" posted a joke about Asian stereotypes out of context. The now-deleted tweet read "I am willing to show #Asian community I care by introducing the Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever." That was a quote taken directly from a segment on Wednesday's show that lampooned Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder, who announced he created the Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation to aid Native American tribes while ignoring calls to change the football team's much-maligned name. . .



Read more at: TPM

[Excerpt]

Twitter killed Stephen Colbert’s joke

. . .The immediate backlash was spearheaded by young activist Suey Park who created the hashtag #CancelColbert as a way of galvanizing the twitterverse against the late night satirist.
“The Colbert Report” recently responded with roughly 140 more characters clarifying:

For the record @ColbertReport is not controlled by Stephen Colbert or his show. He is @StephenAtHome Sorry for the confusion #CancelColbert. . .

Read more at: Salon 

Sarah Palin, Fully Loaded

She's coming with a full heart, a full magazine and an empty head. Also too.