Is There Anything We Won't Fight About?

While thinking about the bitter rivalry between Left and Right, it occurred to me that we Americans separate into camps about all sorts of things. Some things big and important, and others absolute trifles when viewed objectively. Religion and politics are the big ones, but we can fight about anything.

One of the trifling rivalries has been in the news lately, that of Blu-Ray and HD-DVD video technologies. Users of one dis the other, and can get just a strident as a holy-roller. This one is rather easily settled: put out a combo player so we can watch any type of DVD we want. Problem solved.

But there are other fights that can't be settled so easily. Mac vs. PC is one of the biggies. It's also complicated, because in addition to the actual facts, this fight is saturated with egos. Mac loyalists (cultists, according to some in both camps) often cannot disguise an air of superiority, and disdain for their rivals. PC loyalists are less afflicted by brand-loyalty, but are on the defensive in this fight, and defending themselves against an underdog, which just seems silly. Some inroads have been made into the PC group, with Apple's clever marketing convincing some people to switch sides. Good for them (but cut the arrogance down a little, wouldja?).

Also in the computer realm are AOL users vs. just about everybody. The AOL juggernaut was once very cool, but gathered a reputation as the "training wheels" of the Internet. People using an AOL address in blogs, message boards, and Usenet are often derided for their poor choice of service providers. The company where I work switched to a domain server for our email, to avoid looking "unprofessional." The irony is, our new group of emails have been set to be forwarded to the AOL address for simplicity, and for the famous "you've got mail!" alert. I happen to like AOL, and I'm far from a newbie; I just like the layout. I still use other browsers, depending upon what I'm doing (which is another rivalry: Internet Explorer or Firefox?). Now, if AOL would just fix the software, so that it doesn't inevitably crash after a few hours. . .

There are lots of other rivalries, ranging from ridiculous to the more ridiculous. East Coast vs. West Coast (rappers and otherwise), Chevy vs. Ford, Rosie vs. the Donald, reality vs. FOX "News," Conservatives vs. Hollywood (unless it's Fred Thompson, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Ronald Reagan). The rappers shoot each other, the car camp gets stickers of Calvin peeing on the other guy's logo. But whether the fights escalate to murder, or only to a very stupid form of copyright abuse, the point is we seem to treat everything as "us" against "them." It's like every subject is a serious as an OSU vs. Michigan game, for goodness' sake (he said, facetiously)!

Where will this lead? Will Petco shoppers start throwing cat food at PetSmart aficionados? Will United Airlines passengers start blowing raspberries at the people herding up at the Southwest queue? We all need to take eighties sexpot comedienne Julie Brown's advice from Earth Girls are Easy: "Relax. Have a mental margarita." It is OK for me to like one thing, and for you to like another, and neither of us is necessarily an idiot.