The Art of Losing

Posted by NevadaJoe

It seems my lot in life is to be surrounded by good card players. My Grampa was still beating me at Cribbage in his 90s, and my Dad amazingly good at Pitch. Now I find myself being beaten regularly at Canasta by most all of our friends. Last night was just more of the same and I am becoming a sore loser, and speaking "French" like my Aunt Mildred when she loses at cards. Her husband, Jim, would keep throwing points on her hands in hearts just to piss her off, and he succeeded. She never stood up and flipped the table over, but I think we were pretty damn close a few times.

So, what I am trying to say to all the Mildreds out there is go for it! Why not commit yourself to the game 100%. I mean let's face it, we are losing anyway right, so what do we have to lose? Our dignity? Hardly!! Our friends know we are going to lose anyway, so let's give them something to talk about on the drive home. Let's make it "a dinner and a show" kind of evening. And try to mix it up a bit, cussing is always therapeutic, but you need to throw in a good lamentation, Biblical (Old Testament is best) is sure to raise an eyebrow or two. Refer to Jehovah. Whip out some of your old Catholic prayer phrases, "valley of tears" is good, "abandoned children of Eve" is also sure to halt the other conversations. At this point you've "got game," so feel free to wrap it up any way you like. Making it personal is always good. When Jamie is my partner and we are losing I demand to know why he only plays this poorly when he is teamed with me. Not true, but it makes me feel better.

My friends are very good at letting my bad behavior go unremarked upon. That is what friends do I suppose, but just the same I know I better start going to my happy place when my game goes south because they can only take so much. That said, I am intrigued with the whole idea of flipping the table over. . . Nah, even I'm not gonna do that. The truth of the matter is that I will be looking forward to the next game night by the time it rolls around. It's like crack. I gotta feel those cards in my hands again. Thinking tonight is my night, and you never know, it just might be my night. And if it's not, what the hell, "it's only a game, right?" Excuse me while I step outside for a moment.