GOP Clown Car Update: Who Dropped Out Today?

Well, one more down. Today, Jim Gilmore decided. . .oh who cares? Here's the updated graphic!

GOP Clown Car Continues to Empty Out: Carly Fiorina & Chris Christie

Chris Christie and Carly Fiorina have bailed  out of the 2016 GOP Clown Car. We can only hope she landed on him, and not the other way around.

Carly was far too icy and prickly to ever gather any steam, as far as I'm concerned. For all of the "unlovableness" people try to heap on Hillary, Carly made her look like your favorite pie-baking, cuddly grandma. And Carly was the mean, brittle other grandma you'd cry when you'd have to visit, and you couldn't enter that one room, or sit on the furniture unless it was covered with plastic. Like her face (ha!).

Christie was probably in my short (very short) list of GOP candidates who wouldn't have freaked me out if he'd won. He's a bully. And probably corrupt. But he'd also get things done without pulling Jesus into everything. and without embarrassing the living crap out of America for the next four years. I'm a bit sorry to see him go.

Gov. George Pataki Bails from 2016 GOP Clown Car

Surprising no one, and having no measurable impact on the 2016 presidential race, former Governor George Pataki is bailing out of the Clown Car and dropping his bid for the GOP nomination. Though he had zero chance in the first place, it is still a bit sad, as he was the only acceptable choice from the Republican side, as far as I'm concerned. There is literally no one else. Pressed, I'd have to pick either Marco Rubio or John Kasich, and they're both unacceptable.

[Excerpt]

Republican Pataki says he's ending presidential bid 

Former New York Governor George Pataki on Tuesday ended his long-shot bid for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. . .

Read more at: MSN

UPDATED TO ADD: Gov. Pataki has made so little splash that I initially crossed out Jim Gilmore rather than Pataki in the attached graphic! I make no apology for this, but it has been amended.

Lindsey Graham Collapses on His Fainting Couch, Out of the Race

Oh my gay stars! The 2016 GOP Clown Car is losing a rider, though he was probably always going to be in the rumble seat anyway. Look for Graham to continue going between getting the vapors, and having fits of histeria on the Sunday morning political shows, more than ever.

[Excerpt]

Lindsey Graham suspends his presidential campaign

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) ended his long-shot presidential bid today, telling supporters in a web video that he succeeded in changing the conversation about how to fight the Islamic state. . .

Read more at: Washington Post

Bobby Jindal Piyushes Himself Out of the 2016 Clown Car

Aw, Bobby! I was hoping Jeb! or Rand would bail before you, so you might squeak into one of the big-boy debates. Alas, it is not to be. Jindal, one of the God Warrior contestants, has elected (hah!) to bail out. So much for predictions of him being the "next Ronald Reagan".

[Excerpt]

Bobby Jindal ends GOP presidential campaign

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal ended his long-shot campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination on Tuesday, saying on Fox News that "it's not my time." While Jindal's campaign showed some progress in Iowa — site of the Feb. 1 caucuses that open the Republican nomination contest — he had trouble gaining traction in other states. . .

Read more at: USAToday


 

2016 GOP Clown Car Update: And Then There Were 15; Scott Walker Bails Out

Sleepy-eyed, shiny-bald-spot-sporting Scott Wanker Walker is taking one for the team. Sort of. Seeing his numbers get worse and worse, he's jumping out of the 2016 GOP Clown Car, allegedly to better position his competitors to take out Donald Trump. He's hoping, he says, for a bit of a Clown Car exodus of the lower tier (or back seat, if you prefer), with the hopes that someone, anyone will take The Donald down a peg.

It's not a bad strategy, were it the truth. I think the reality is, he just wasn't the great hope they all said he was, and he was unable to make even a tiny splash in the press. I wouldn't think the effort was worth it either. Bye, Felicia!

[Excerpt]

Wisconsin's Walker exits '16 race with harsh words for Trump

Warning that the Republican presidential race has become too nasty, Scott Walker exited the 2016 campaign on Monday and urged others to quit, too, and "clear the field" so someone can emerge to take down front-runner Donald Trump.

The announcement marked a dramatic fall for Walker, who was struggling to generate money and enthusiasm after surging into the race's top tier earlier in the year. He will return to his job as governor of Wisconsin, where his term runs through 2018. . .

Read more (with video) at: MSN

Rick Perry Bails Out of the 2016 GOP Clown Car

The Other Half was just telling me earlier today that he originally thought Rick Perry would be a contender, back in 2012. I thought the same, I thought he'd be more of a force. I was less worried about it this time, after his goofy performance four years ago. But for all the hype and buzz he used to have, he's the first one to have his torch snuffed out. Oops.

[Excerpt]

Rick Perry drops out of race for 2016 Republican presidential nomination

Former Texas governor Rick Perry has announced that he is dropping out of the race for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. Perry is first in the Republican field to exit the race. His campaign ran into financial trouble after he did not poll high enough to participate in the first presidential debate.
. . .

Read more at: The Guardian

2016 GOP Clown Car Update: Ohio Governor John Kasich Piles In

When I lived in Nevada, I assumed our governor, Brian Sandoval was going to make a 2016 play for the White House. Given how many GOP candidates there are, I suppose he might as well. Now, I've moved to Ohio, and my new governor, John Kasich is going to run. He'll be the 17th major candidate to declare, when he makes it official on Tuesday. For now, I have this Twitter post to show that he's actually going to do it.

 

I'd say his odds are long to make a splash. But he does have a little residual FOX "News" mojo, though I think opponent Mike Huckabee--also a FOX veteran--may have the edge there. Good luck, Governor. If this plays out like 2012, you'll at least have a shining moment for a week or so before the campaign is over. And truthfully? If I had to pick a GOP candidate? You could do worse. So much worse. He still would trail behind even the lowest polling Democrat for me, though.

 

 

Looks like John #Kasich has figured out what he'll say in tomorrow's "special announcement" at Ohio State pic.twitter.com/qzNHdodEM2

— Sheryl Stolberg (@sherylstolberg) July 21, 2015

2016 GOP Clown Car Update: Jim Gilmore Piles In

Whew! Who knew there was still space in this thing? And Jim WHO? Gilmore? Wasn't that a killer from the 70s? Well, I had to add another spot to the roster, so to fill out the space, I put a couple of potential other candidates up there. I can't believe I'd previously forgotten Twisty. And since we've got a Gilmore, I've added a Gacy. Makes as much sense as anything, at this point.

[Excerpt]

Former Virginia Gov. Gilmore entering crowded GOP field
 
Former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore will be the latest Republican to enter the ever-growing field of White House candidates. Gilmore told the Richmond Times-Dispatch Tuesday that he will jump in. Gilmore was governor from 1998 to 2002, served as Republican National Committee chairman in 2001 and lost Virginia's 2008 U.S. Senate race to then-Gov. Mark Warner in a blowout. . .

Read more at: CNN

Has FOX "News" Effectively Killed Conservatism?

I love this story. . .

[Excerpt]

Fox News built a f**ked-up Frankenstein, dumb, angry and divorced from facts. Now Donald Trump will devour them

. . .Donald Trump is practically a mirror image of the Fox News psyche. Most of his speeches consist of repackaged stupidities plucked right out of the conservative mediascape. It’s kind of brilliant, really. Trump knows his audience, and he beams back at them every idiotic thing they want to hear. Which, of course, is exactly what Fox News does. . .

Read more at: Salon

2016 Clown Car Update: Now it's Scott Walker's Turn to Drive

[UPDATE 07/13/15: He actually got in today. It's tough to sort out the pre-announcements, and the accidental leaked announcements, etc., etc.]

This is really getting kind of absurd. But it's not unexpected. In fact, it's odd that Walker waited so long to declare his candidacy.

Walker kind of fits in the folk hero model, but is more than just a little bit of a hollow man, I think. Not a lot of substance there, but potentially not a lot of skeletons or obvious disqualifiers either. I think there's a bit of puffery in his resume, and the fact that he didn't finish college means maybe I should run for president! I mean, at this point, why not?

[Excerpt]

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker entering 2016 presidential race
 
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, a preacher's son who withstood a recall election spawned by his fight with public employee unions, is joining the crowde 
d Republican presidential race, aides said. . .

Read more at: AOL

2016 Clown Car Update: Chris Christie Squeezes In!

Expect BIG things from this one!

[Excerpt]

Chris Christie Is Running For President. But Is He Too Late?
 
Chris Christie is running for president. The question now is if he's four years too late. The bombastic New Jersey governor shot to national prominence on his bravado and force of personality after his 2009 election. He quickly took on the unions there and touted his ability, as a Republican, to get things done in a Democratic-controlled state. . .

Read more at: NationalJournal

2016 GOP Clown Car Update: Bobby Jindal Gets Out to Piyush!

Really? Kenneth the Page? The guy who performed an exorcism? The guy who is more interested in theocracy than Rick (don't Google me) Santorum and Mike Huckabee? Okay, whatever, GOP.

[Excerpt]

Bobby Jindal Becomes 13th GOP Candidate
 
Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, just became the 13th Republican candidate for president. Whether this will prove to be lucky or unlucky remains to be seen. Even though the field is already incredibly crowded, Jindal will not be the last Republican to announce -- there are at least two other contenders who will likely jump in (Scott Walker and Chris Christie), with the possibility of a few more longshot candidates as well. The more crowded the field gets, the harder it is going to be for any one of them to stand out, which is precisely Jindal's main problem. . .

Read more at: Huffington Post

Rachel Maddow Expresses Confusion Over Donald Trump's Allure

Rachel Maddow has long been one of my favorite liberal pundits, long before her MSNBC show debuted. What I like most about her is the research behind her work, the context provided, and the unique angle from which she approaches a story. I also appreciate her humility and honesty, a rather unique feature in her profession. [Story continues below]



So, I won't question her confusion as it regards Donald Trump. Her perspective on the whole Trump allure is, "Why? I just don't understand." I don't get it either. This is a clownish buffoon, leagues ahead of the rest of the people jokingly referred to as "the GOP Clown Car." His appeal as even a reality TV star confuses me. He's an asshole. He's self-centered and self-serving. He's the worst kind of bullshitter, one whose bullshit is undisguised, heaped tall, sitting right in front of you with that ridiculous hair on top.

Trump's ludicrous boastfulness is transparent bullshit, whether it's his alleged investigation in Hawaii concerning the nonsense behind the President's "real" birth certificate. His solution to any foreign policy challenge, or domestic policy problem is a blanket, "I could solve that, and I'd solve it fast, and it would be marvelous." No details, because it's just bullshit. His ego knows no bounds, but is as hollow as papier-mâché.

So, my confusion has nothing to do with Trump himself. He's easy to figure out. He's a boastful jackass and bull-shitter. Fact checking him would become a full-time job for many, many people in the press. But his appeal? THAT is confusing. It's like explaining the appeal of music that grates on your ears. How can anyone like that, right? That's Donald Trump. Apparently, if you like him, you just like him. Maybe the assholery and bullshittery is your gangsta rap, or your death metal.

2016 Clown Car Update: Jeb Bush Finally Jumps In

The worst kept secret of the season is finally open, Jeb! Bush is running for president. Squeezing into the already packed-to-the-gills GOP Clown Car is going to take a jumbo-sized shoe horn, but Jeb! (yes, Jeb!) is determined to do it, and many consider him to be "the guy," the inevitable sane choice.

But let's not forget, he would be the third Bush in the White House of the last five presidents. That each of the last three Republican presidents would all share a gene pool. And the first two are not particularly revered. In fact, H.W. was seen as at best mediocre, and W. was seen by most as a disaster. My hope for Jeb! was that he'd go with the slogan, "3rd Time's the Charm!" and in fact, that was the logo I came up with for him. But he went with "Jeb! 2016," which looks tremendously silly, but I'll tell you why.

I'm not a paid political pundit, only a hobbyist blogger. But I am a graphic artist, one who specializes in logos and brand identity. And I'll tell you this, "Jeb!" was their solution to not having signs that said "Bush." Period. They were lucky that we have "Hillary" (or simply "H"), we have "Bernie" and we have "Rand." All of those campaigns are going first-name familiar. So, since "Jeb" is a nick name (his name is literally "John Ellis Bush Bush," remember), and is short, the apostrophe gives it some weight. I'm sure they also see it as drama, but I see it as levity. . .goofiness. I'm not sure that's what they were going for.

[Excerpt]

Jeb Bush poised to launch 2016 bid

Jeb Bush, a scion of the most recognizable family in Republican politics who fashioned an image as a sober-minded conservative truth-teller while governor of Florida, is poised to run for president.

Bush will make his formal announcement Monday afternoon here in his adopted hometown during an appearance at Miami Dade College. His candidacy comes after a weeklong European tour and months of intensive behind-the-scenes political maneuvering that erased long-standing doubts about his White House ambitions. . .

Read more at: WTAE

2016 Presidential Logos, Ranked

My logo design for Jeb Bush, provided free of charge.

I love this article. Things don't get more in my wheelhouse than this. I'm a graphic artist, mostly for sign design, but specializing in logo design. Though I have no real formal training beyond a technical college, I've been designing logos and even corporate identities for as long as I've been shaving. Actually longer, predating computer graphics! So, it's kind of my thing. And though I won't tout my own creations as superlative, I do know quality design when I see it, and I know crap.

So does the author of this article, whose critiques are not only right on the money, but also quite hilarious. And rude. And hilarious.

[Excerpt]

The 2016 U.S. Presidential Candidates’ Logos, Ranked.

I’ve long held the ridiculously biased and shamelessly partisan opinion that Republican campaigns are…uh…less than excellent at graphic design. I have some theories on why this might be the case, which I will not be sharing. What I will be sharing is my attempt at assessing and ranking the logos of the fourteen (as of June 7, 2015) declared candidates. I have also reviewed all of the candidates’ websites for logo integration and overall design, and oh man do you ever owe me for that. . .

Read more at: Organizer Sandbox

2016 Clown Car Update: Gov. Oopsie McGoodhair, Rick Perry Takes the Wheel

Well, why not? Why not try again after flaming out so utterly and so spectacularly last time? I remember watching that debate live (with my Twitter feed keeping me more entertained up until that moment) with my mouth open. Those were some awkward moments. I almost felt bad for him, until I continued reading Twitter, and was back to having a helluva time. There was some funny stuff to read then! And to think I'd been a little worried about Rick Perry's initial entrance into the 2012 race.

I don't think his 2016 entry is going to make the rest of the GOP class worry too badly.

[Excerpt]

Rick Perry poised to try again for presidency

Four years after a disastrous first campaign for the White House, former Texas governor Rick Perry announced here Thursday that he will try again, and the contrast between then and now could hardly be greater. . .

Read more at: MSN/WP

2016 GOP Clown Car Update: George Pataki Gets In

I traditionally have complained that the media tend to focus on the horse race of any given presidential election, rather than the actual issues that are important to the fight. It's a valid complaint, but futile, as conflict sells, and arguments about infrastructure and policy don't. Not that I'll give up, but at this point, with the GOP side of the aisle dealing with an overstuffed (and itself a term overused) clown car, it's bound to come down to personalities. Which is a little funny with today's update, because it's former New York Governor George Pataki entering the race, and he has very, very little personality.

My go-to pundit, Rachel Maddow, has been extraordinarily diplomatic about the GOP slate (while also being snarky, which is a deft play), declaring them all viable, and decent--if sometimes boring--candidates. She's using as contrast the 2012 roster, which did include declared and potential candidates who were nutbars, like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain. But let's get real. We've got some doozies in this race, from candidates with no particular qualifications (Carly Fiorina, Ben Carson) to pompous religiosity (Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, Bobby Jindal, Ted Cruz, Carson again, and others), to blatant animus toward LGBT people (Huckabee, Santorum, Jindal, Cruz, Carson. . .hell, most of 'em), and other nutty qualifiers to the "clown" designation.

In most presidential races, there is somebody on the opposition side that I could grudgingly deal with. They could be elected, and I wouldn't be hopelessly depressed. In 2000, it was John McCain, who did a triple-lutz into the deep end of assholery in the 2008 cycle. In 2008, it was, oddly enough, Mitt Romney, proving that I can be massively fooled by these people. In 2012 it was Jon Huntsman. This time? The only one who seems remotely tolerable is Jeb Bush, and I just can't even. Another Bush, in the span of five presidents? When the past two were marginal and disastrous, respectively? Why? His campaign slogan should be, "Third time's the charm." But in reality it could be "Bad things happen in threes." Incidentally, he's really J.E.B. Bush, which is literally John Ellis Bush Bush. Anyway, more are jumping in today, with the first being Pataki, and Rachel is right to drop in a zzzzzz snoring sound when she mentions him. Try not to fall asleep with the news.

[Excerpt]

George Pataki makes long-shot bid for President

George Pataki, the Republican who won the governorship three times in heavily Democratic New York, will run for president in 2016. . .

Read more at: CNN

SNL: Hillary Clinton's Coming Summer

One of Hillary Clinton's big advantages in the 2016 presidential election, is that she seemingly won't have much of a primary fight. She's pretty much got the field to herself (and let me note that while I love Bernie Sanders, I don't think he's got even a ghost of a chance). But that is also a liability. Because while comedians have a Clown Car (an overused term, even by me) full of targets for their humor on the right, Hillary is it on the left. So, she's going to have to endure more comedic fire than she otherwise would for the next year and a half. I love that this skit acknowledges that she's had to put up with unfair abuse for 20 years. She's only got 2, 6 or 10 to go, depending upon how successful she is, I suppose.

2016 Clown Car Update

I've been shirking my duties as a blogger again, sorry about that. I tell you, getting back up on the horse can be tricky once you've gotten off it for an extended period. And plunging into the 2016 election when we're still this far out can feel a little less than urgent. But it's been a while since I updated our Clown Car revue, so I thought I'd add two qualified checkmarks to the tally: Lindsey (oh my gay stars) Graham and Jeb Bush, both of whom have yet to officially declare their candidacy, but both of whom keep dropping "I'm running" quotes. Graham may "well, I de-CLARE!" later today, and if he does, I'll remove my little qualified question mark.