Facepalm: Michele Bachmann Embarrasses Herself (And Us) One More Time

Michele Bachmann is not running for reelection to Congress in 2014. But that doesn't mean she's going to stop embarrassing herself, or the country. Just take a look at this. Marcus, come get your beard wife! She's doing that thing again!

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Crazy Eyes, Remixed

Video found (and headline stolen from) JoeMyGod.com

Marcus Bachmann: Behind the Candelabra (A Kenny Pick Movie Parody)

Oh, I can't help it. I keep finding good stuff. And I just got into such a tussle on this subject with a bunch of conservatives at NewsBusters. They're bastard people! But they seem to think that Marcus Bachmann is straight, so maybe they really need to check this out. Thanks, Kenny Pick!

Michele (A Rocky Mountain Mike Song Parody)

I know these Michele Bachmann posts are piling up, but I can't get out without posting one more from Rocky Mountain Mike. To the tune of The Beatles' Michelle.

A Michele Bachmann Retrospective

Today, I did something I do every so often. I made a comment on a conservative site. This isn't always possible, as many of them are strictly moderated and do not tolerate dissent. NewsBusters, the site I visited, does allow comments. They are moderated, but much less strictly than, say, FreeRepublic, where I've never successfully posted something. My visit was strictly curiosity to see what they were belly aching about today, after I ran a piece on them the day before.

The one item that caught my eye was a whine that sex advice columnist Dan Savage had made an "offensive" tweet. It was, in full: "Good riddance to batshit rubbish," with a link to a story about Michele Bachmann's retirement announcement. I found the statement amusing, and after retweeting it myself, I made this comment to their complaints about Savage's tweet: "Oh, lighten up. Michele is famous primarily for her loonyness. And for her husband, Liberace."

Now see, I thought I was being cute and light, especially for including a recent cultural reference to the Behind the Candelabra movie. But I forgot that NewsBusters isn't polite company. It isn't a mixed forum for all audiences. It isn't even this blog, where I occasionally get irate right-wing comments. It's an acid bath of festering rage. All dissent must not just be answered, it must be attacked and destroyed. Commenters at site don't say "hi," they have their fangs and claws bared at the first hint that you are not one of them! And for a group of (mostly) homophobes, they were especially put out that I made fun of Marcus Bachman for um. . .his. . .well, obvious contradictions.

I'd like to say I held my own, and other than one largely for effect rant, I even kept my responses even-tempered for the most part. They, um. . .do not. But before I get too far off tangent, let me say that Right Wing World sees Michele Bachmann as a hero. I don't know why. I don't know what the heck they see in her (and her cartoonish husband) that inspires such allegiance, but for all of their charges of "Obamabots," they sure can get all "Mama

Bear" about their heroes. When I pointed out that Bachmann is only well known because she is daffy, prone to mistakes, and often says outrageous things. They wanted proof (!). I provided it, but it was from a left leaning site, so they wouldn't even discuss it. On their archly right wing site. Sigh.

At this point, we'd strayed pretty far into tangents (I mean why is NewsBusters "busting" a sex advice columnist anyway?), but this had at least put it back on track. But this is my blog, and I don't find it necessary to do intensive research from strictly non-partisan sources about all the batshit things to come out of Bachmann's mouth. Not with a case so obvious. They wouldn't accept my sources anyway, no matter how good they are. I've been down that road before. But if you're curious why Ms. Bachmann has such a reputation, please watch this video from an admittedly liberal but factual source.

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Ode to Michele Bachmann (Rocky Mountain Mike Song Parody)

The demise of Michele Bachmann's political career (in no way related to her campaign finance scandals, no, no) gets the Rocky Mountain Mike treatment. Need I point out it parodies Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train? Enjoy.

 

Michele Bachmann Not Running for Re-Election in 2014

Wha?!? Really? It's a blow to comedy, that's for sure. Maybe Marcus can now be free to let his glorious rainbow flag fly?

[Excerpt]

Michele Bachmann Will Not Seek Re-Election In 2014


Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) announced early Wednesday that she will not seek re-election in 2014. . .

Read more at: Huffington Post

Bachmann Gets 'Em Over Guys! (Rocky Mountain Mike Ad Parody)

Another funny one from Rocky Mountain Mike (of The Stephanie Miller Show). I know that Marcus and Michele Bachmann haven't been in the news all that much lately. But with the flurry of gay news here and elsewhere over the last couple of weeks, it's worth remembering that there's a guy out there trying to de-gay the gays! Using Bachman-Turner Overdrive's Takin' Care of Business as a starting point, hear a commercial for Marcus' de-gaying clinic!

Michele Bachmann Runs from CNN

Haha. This reminds me of the days of Sharron Angle, here in Las Vegas, trying to outrun the press. Michele Bachmann--crazy eyes herself--made some wacky charges about the president's "lavish" lifestyle (which has been picked up throughout Right Wing World, hello, Dan!), which would seem to demand follow-up questions, like: is President Obama's treatment out of line with other Presidents? But Marcus Bachmann's more butch other half was having none of it, acting as though those kinds of questions are so frivolous because BENGHAZI!

Irony Alert: Michele Bachmann Retains Seat on Intelligence Committee

Duh. Image from ThinkProgress

Truth is stranger than fiction sometimes. There are GOP science deniers on science committees, and Michele Bachmann--one of the dimmest bulbs in the conservative chandalier--is keeping her seat on the Intelligence Committee. I suppose it's no more ironic than the fact that her husband Marcus runs a de-gaying clinic. . .

[Excerpt]

Bachmann Keeps Seat On Intelligence Committee Despite Discredited Anti-Muslim Witch Hunt

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) will remain a member of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence during the 113th Congress — despite leading a widely discredited anti-Muslim witch hunt against government personnel last year. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Quote of the Day: James Carville on Marcus Bachmann

Image from Gawker

"For Democrats, the good news is, we won the election. And for people who like to be entertained, the really good news is that Marcus Bachmann is coming back as a congressional spouse."

Source: Rolling Stone 

Michele Bachmann Being Vetted for VP?

Crazy Eyes for VP! Image from Raw Story.

Oh, please. Oh, please! Oh, please! The hilarity! The drama! The new flood of Marcus Bachmann/Second Lady jokes!

Seriously, though, I can't imagine Mittens would pick anything remotely resembling Sarah Palin, and Michele is the closest thing to Palin this country has ever seen. Not gonna happen.



[Excerpt]

Bachmann does not deny she is being vetted


“One thing I know about Mitt Romney, he’s made excellent decisions in the past when it comes to running organizations and I have no doubt, whoever it is, that he chooses, to bring in as his V.P., it will be a highly competent person who could step in at a moments notice and assume the responsibilities of the White House,” she told CNN’s Piers Morgan. . .

Read more (with video) at: The Raw Story

Marcus Bachmann Still Trying to Pray Away the Gay

Oh, Marcus! You can't get rid of your outsized gayness with any regular-strength prayer. You're going to need Industrial Strength God in a Drum for that kind of job! Sweetheart, dump Crazy Eyes, change the clinic's purpose to a support-centered place, and come out! You might get a game show on Bravo, or a fabulous reality series on Logo!

[Excerpt]

Bachmann clinic continues ‘pray the gay away’ treatment

Kristina Lapinski, a documentary film-maker who is contributing to “Gay U.S.A. the Movie,” a documentary project, went undercover, and attended a session with Bachmann & Associates, the counselling clinic in Minnesota owned by Michele and Marcus Bachmann. Mrs Bachmann was a contender for the Republican Presidential Nomination, though she pulled out of the race at the beginning of the year. . .

Read more at (yes): Pink News

Michele Bachmann Drops Out (While Marcus Softly Weeps)

Mrs. Bachmann and Mrs. Bachmann. Image from Washington Post

Oh! Marcus Bachmann's dreams of decorating the Oval Office, and having mai tais in the Rose Garden have been dashed! Michele Bachmann has "stepped aside," which is code for quitting the race. She gave a doozy of a speech as she bowed out, but without the theater (and the squawking birds) of Sarah Palin's "I'm a-quittin'" speech. Since Bachmann seems to be Palin's mini-me, I'm surprised she didn't claim that quitting wasn't really quitting.

[Excerpt]


Michele Bachmann drops out of GOP race after Iowa caucuses

“Last night, the people of Iowa spoke with a very clear voice, and so, I have decided to stand aside,” Bachmann told a crowd of supporters in Des Moines, the morning after her dismal sixth-place showing in the state's primary caucuses. “I have no regrets. . .”

Read more at: Washington Post 

Marcus Bachmann, Praying to be First Lady

. . .While Michele battles a migraine. Image from Stupid Monkey Planet

Michele Bachmann: Gay Men Can Marry Women

There's a line of argument that goes: "Gay people have the same rights as straight people. A gay man can marry a woman, a gay woman can marry a man. Everyone has the same rights." It's a dumb argument, and you can see that if you flip it around, and suggest a world where everyone can marry the same sex, but not the opposite. The straights would never go for it. Well, some of them might. Ahem.

Michele Bachmann, blissfully unaware? Or actually
clued into what her husband is. . .in to?Image from Raw Story

Which brings us to Michele Bachmann, who made the above (unoriginal) argument. Don't forget that Mrs. Bachmann and her husband, the fabulous "Dr." Marcus Bachmann run a little clinic in Minnesota. A clinic that has a decidedly evangelical Christian bent, and that occasionally--allegedly--tries to "pray away the gay." The irony is perfect. And it also explains Michele's argument completely. I mean, she oughtta know!

[Excerpt]

Bachmann: Gays ‘can marry a woman if they’re a man’

Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachman says it’s fine for a gay man to get married — as long as it’s to a woman.

During a town hall event in Iowa Wednesday, Jane Schmidt, president of Waverly High School Gay-Straign Alliance, asked the candidate why same sex couples couldn’t get married.

“They can get married,” Bachmann explained. “They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they’re a man. . .”

Read more at: The Raw Story

Funny or Die: The 2012 Candidates Meet The Internet

This isn't brand new, but if I missed it, maybe you did too. Thanks to Stupid Monkey Planet for the link. It's hilarious (stay tuned to the end!).

Live Funny Or Die in 2012 from Darrell Hammond

Notable Quoteable: Randi Rhodes on Michele Bachmann

On Michele Bachmann's belief that we should be staying in Iraq.

"It seems Michele thinks that once you make a terrible mistake, you should just stick with it... kind of like her marriage to Marcus."

--Radio host, Randi Rhodes

Source: RandiRhodes.com

Sgt. Bachmann's Lonely Heart's Club Band

I described Michele Bachmann's clothing at Wednesday's debate as a majorette's uniform.  My good friend Stupid Monkey Planet saw it a little differently. Either way, it was surely picked out by her fabulous husband, Marcus.

Click to watch a subtle animation. Created by Stupid Monkey Planet.

What Happens in Vegas: Contentious GOP Debate

Yes, I watched the danged thing, but no more up close than most anyone else. And thank goodness for that. I watched from home with my Mac open on my lap, and my mouse constantly refreshing my twitter feed. With people like Patton Oswalt, Lizz Winstead, Kathleen Madigan, Ana Marie Cox, John Fugelsang and Aisha Tyler in my feed, it turns an interminable event into a party!

The candidates were throwing down, not throwing a party. Every single one of them is wrong about most everything, even though they all agree on several faux facts. But there is enough difference between them that they got to attack each other for being more wrong. Especially Mitt Romney and Rick Perry. Perry went after Romney hard on "illegals" who worked for him. Mitt dodged. Perry kept it up, until the crowd booed him. Perry's not smart enough to know that there are a lot of Mormons in Nevada, and some of them were in the audience.

Overall, it was every bit as bad as the other debates have been, with a little zazz, for the cat fights. Oh, and Michele Bachmann's majorette outfit (which I'm sure Marcus picked out).


[Excerpt]

Rick Perry And Mitt Romney Get Into Heated Fight Over Immigration

Mitt Romney and Rick Perry got into a heated exchange during Tuesday’s Republican debate in Las Vegas over the issue of immigration, with Perry accusing Romney of hiring illegal immigrants. . .

Read more at: Talking Points Memo