Idaho Lawmaker Literally Thinks Babies Come Out of Mommy's Tummy

Vito Barbieri (R-Obviously), whose parents apparently never have
him "the talk."

The stupid. It burns. As a camera would have to do to get from a woman's digestive tract to her vagina. Jesus, I'm a gay guy, and I knew more about the lady parts than this guy.

[Excerpt]

Idaho Lawmaker Wonders If Women Could Have A Gyno Exam By Swallowing A Tiny Camera
 
An Idaho lawmaker revealed his confusion about female anatomy during a legislative debate over a proposed abortion bill on Monday. According to the Associated Press, Idaho Rep. Vito Barbieri (R) asked a doctor testifying before the House State Affairs Committee whether a woman could have a remote gynecological exam by swallowing a tiny camera. Dr. Julie Madsen told him no, that’s not possible, because items that are swallowed do not end up in the vagina. . .

Read more at: The Daily Buzz

Michigan GOP Overreacts to the Word "Vagina"

Honestly. If the GOP is insisting upon ramming through law after law restricting a women's right to choose, how in the world can they object to the word vagina. I mean, come on, I'm a gay guy who probably thinks about that word less than anybody, but even I don't find it to be an offensive word. And it was funny! A well-crafted joke up against humorless, tight assed busybodies. Well, the GOP isn't well known for its well developed sense of humor (see: Miller, Dennis).

[Excerpt]

Vaginas Must Be Republican Kryptonite

". . . I have not asked you to adopt and adhere to my religious beliefs. Why are you asking me to adopt yours? And, finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no’."

Read more at: Friendly Atheist 


UPDATE: I must say that in the comments section was perhaps the funniest euphemism for "vagina" that I've ever seen: Satan's coin purse. 

Jon Stewart on Virginia's "Trans-vaginal Probe" Law

You know, I've often said here that as a middle-aged gay man in a long-term same-sex marriage, the subjects of birth control and abortion are just not my issues. At all. But even I can see the insanity being rained down by the GOP on both local and national stages. For instance, only a loon would say that the "morning after" clump of cells is a person. And most people probably think that these personhood proposals don't intentionally rule out whole classes of contraception. They'd be wrong about that. I've recently learned that the right-to-life crowd has moved beyond fretting about third, second or even first trimester pregnancies, and right up to the second the sperm meets the egg. Insanity.

But the anti-abortion measures being taken up in Virginia lower the bar on insanity. Government mandated, medically unnecessary, trans-vaginal probing? THIS is smaller government? WTF? Something this crazy can only be adequately dissected by The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Because it belongs on Comedy Central.

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Punanny State - Virginia's Transvaginal Ultrasound Bill
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Rachel Maddow Teaches Mitt Romney About Lady Parts

I know that the last post was a Maddow post, but I can't help it. In this segment, Rachel reports from the man cave, to explain to Mitt Romney about lady parts, and the basics of conception. Why? Because Mittens agreed to support the idea that life begins at conception. What's the matter with that idea? Well, besides the generally agreed-upon "life begins at implantation," the fact that a large percentage of birth control prevents implantation after conception. Which causes "life at conception" laws to make many forms of contraception illegal. Go for it, America, I'm gay, it doesn't matter to me. But does it matter to you?

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Voting for a Vagina

Posted by Stupid Monkey Planet

Let us focus on the extreme monkey manic cases here. The "Vote for a Vagina!" group. . . I am sure you know who you are.
Allow me to ask you a multi-part question. . .

Is that what it boils down to? A vagina? Are you so upset to lose the first vagina that you will settle for awful sloppy seconds? Are you stupid monkeys so desperate for a vagina in THE office that you are willing to sell your soul to any willing, wanting, wafting vagina on the market? Even if that vagina does not believe in the rights of said vagina. . . professes to teach vagina abstinence to her pregnant (possibly twice) unwed daughter. . . and willing to ban the vagina sex education that could save your children's lives??? You know all of this and yet you stupid monkeys are still willing to close your, obviously, blind primordial eyes and dive in? Just to be eternally lost in your just cause???

Must there be a vagina at any cost? If so, why go for the first vagina that crept up to you from out of nowhere, after your first vagina left you high and dry? Where has that vagina been? Does it matter to you? Is it because this is a HOT vagina?

If that is the case. . .now you ALL are thinking like the desperate guys do at the bar. . . "Oh man. . .a hot chick (read: stripper). . .Oh shit. . .here she comes. . .she is talking to me. . . I think I'm gonna get laid for sure. . .where's my wallet??? How many drinks did you buy, tips did you leave? Did it work out? Or did it just cost you money and leave you sitting alone at the bar half drunk with an empty pocket? Where is that hot vagina now? Down at the other end of the bar draining the next 'lucky' guy. Sound familiar? Four more years of that sounds great, don't it?

And let's say something crazy happens. . .you can and do get lucky with the aforementioned hot vagina. . .but you must make a serious commitment to the hot vagina before you obtain it. . .your money, your children, your rights and your dignity. . .will you do it?

Maybe I am reaching way too deep into this shallow pool. . .Maybe it is much more simple than that. . .Maybe you stupid monkeys just prefer a matching set. . .I mean, figuratively speaking, what good is a big prick if there is no vagina for it to hang around?

EDITOR'S NOTE: Ohhh, Monkey, you're going to get me in trouble! You couldn't say "va-jay-jay?" Or maybe "snizz?" I'll have to run one of those ratings programs on the blog to see if I jumped from PG-13 to NC-17!