Donald Trump Word Salad Puts Sarah Palin's to Shame

Image from Mother Jones.
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Donald Trump is the king of the parenthetical. I've been trying to point this out to people for his entire run. He can barely get through a single sentence without veering into a parenthetical tangent. Give him credit for somehow steering the cart back onto the road, most of the time. But here is an example of Trump putting parentheticals in parentheticals, like little tangent nesting dolls. It's a sight to behold.  

What's funny is, I was reading the commentary below the story I got this from, and one of the commenters mentioned that people were being unfair. That any speaker's parenthetical speech patterns look terrible when transcribed. In fact, that the art of transcription itself can wreck what a person really had to say. Then, a naysayer pointed out that there is video, and it doesn't help at all. It's kind of hilarious. But also a little horrifying.  

And on my own tangent, herewith is my favorite comment:

cld • 10 hours agoDonald Trump's hair looks like it was scared really badly and it stood straight up and screamed and then it died, and he combed it gently so it looked nice for the funeral.

[Excerpt] 

I Have No Headline Worthy of Donald Trump's Latest

I hesitate to drop the P-bomb, but this bit of word salad from Donald Trump is eerily Palinesque. How is it possible that Spy magazine is no longer around to explain this to the world?

Read at: Mother Jones

FOX "News" Sunday Jumps the Shark

Despite the "liberal media" allegations, the Sunday political talk shows on network television are decidedly right-wing biased. Over and over again--no matter which party has more power in Washington, D.C.--studies have shown that guests and commentators are weighted heavily to the right. I don't really know why this is, if Republicans are just more apt to want to go on, or if Senators Lindsey Graham and John McCain actually live in the green room.

So, when you start with the fact that the shows are canted to the right, you can only imagine what comes out of the likes of FOX "News" Sunday. This week, the main topic was the surprise nuclear weapons and sanctions reduction deal with Iran. Of course, Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN) thinks it's a bad thing, and unleashes quite a number of conservative talking points unrelated to the deal, to depict President Obama as weak, indecisive, etc. The counterpoint was fairly soft with Sen. Ben Cardin (D-Who?) providing support for the president, but without swatting down Corkers corkers.

That was par for the course, something that you might see on Meet the Press, had it been on this morning. But then, the vaguely creepy Chris Wallace brought out former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. Ostensibly, she was there to talk about current political controversies, though her depth of knowledge on the subject is. . .what exactly? She has no credibility on much of anything outside of her half-term as governor of a small, remote state. And she doesn't disappoint, with her shallow, fragmented, "pageant" answers to each question. She has nothing of value to say, and it is clear every time she opens her pretty (for nearly 50) mouth, and spews her patented word salad.



But the real reason Sister Sarah was there was to respond to the MSNBC/Martin Bashir "controversy." Bashir (who I suspect was looking for the viral video he ended up getting), had been outraged about Palin's earlier comparison of the budget to slavery of all things, and had given a particularly nasty lesson in slavery to his audience. He then (after a series of insults toward Palin, all of which were absolutely true), he insinuated that the punishment given to slaves in the story, maybe ought to be visited upon Mrs. Palin. Well, Right Wing World went wobbly on its axis!

Since the story had to do with urination and defecation, the implications were quite vivid, so I get it, sort of, why Palin (who made the original, offensive comments) might be PO'd. But who is she that she needs to be tippy-toed around anyway? So, Bashir was apparently called on the carpet, and ended up giving the most thorough, detailed, over-the-top with effusive apology I've ever seen. Way more than Palin deserved. And so, Palin was gussied up and put before the F"N"S cameras nine days later.

If Wallace had just had her on for that purpose alone (even so belatedly), I could forgive the appearance. But he asked her about the important issues of the day, and given her complete lace of gravitas, I find the notion idiotic that she'd be asked her opinion on much of anything. But that wasn't all! No, no! In the completely pointless, regular feature "Power Player of the Week," Wallace had a puff piece on Mitt and Ann Romney, having a folksy family breakfast! Just like back in the campaign, when they did the same thing.  The Romneys aren't even liked in Right Wing World, so I can't see how they're any more relevant than Palin.

In all, it was the most pathetic Sunday show I've seen in years. And in this bunch (Hello, David Gregory!), that's really saying something.

War on Christmas: Sarah Palin Babylon (And On, And On)

GOD, this woman is an idiot. Five years from relevance, she continues to babble on about artificial scandals and controversies, from death panels (which don't exist), to ACORN (which doesn't exist anymore) to the "War on Christmas," which only exists in Right Wing World, Palin just keeps squawking. Comedienne Stephanie Miller says that it's like a Scrabble game exploded in her head. I think it's more like she's barfing up a special Republican edition of Magnetic Poetry, the refrigerator magnet word set. Freedom! Tyranny! Liberty! Maverick! You betcha!

[Excerpt]

Magnetic Poetry: The secret behind Sarah Palin's word salad?

Palin links ‘zealot-like’ atheists to the ‘war on Christmas’ and ‘slavery’ from federal debt

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin called on a group of conservatives to act over the weekend because she said atheists, secularists and other liberals had launched a “war on Christmas” and were pushing the country into “slavery” by borrowing from China. During a Saturday speech to promote her book “Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas” at the Iowa Faith & Freedom Coalition’s fall fundraiser, Palin observed that “everywhere it seems that we see that faith, religious freedom is under attack… and it’s censored. . .”

Read more at: Raw Story

Sarah Palin for Senate?

Image from Wonkette

Never ready to admit that one of their unlikely heroes has lost whatever luster he/she had, it looks like Sarah Palin's name is being floated on the right, for Senate. Hopefully, this is just the wishful thinking of some Alaska tea baggers. On the other hand, as difficult as it can be to tolerate Palin when she's in the spotlight, she's a comedic goldmine. Actually, I thought that vein had been completely tapped out, but that's because she has no real reason to be in the spotlight these days. To be fair, she ran her 15 minutes out to 4+ years. Now, she's only good for trolling Twitter with the occasional faux outrage bomb. But if she ran for Senate? Suddenly--even though her qualifications and abilities are very, very limited--she's relevant. Ugh.

Do I really have to get back in the habit of trying to translate her authentic frontier gibberish again?

[Excerpt]

Alaska Teabaggers Find Exciting Fresh New Face For U.S. Senate (It Is Sarah Palin)
The Tea Party Leadership Fund — wait, what? teabaggers are still a thing? apparently, yes, all both of ‘em — has an AWESOME new plan to save ‘Merica from Harry Reid and the Dumbocrats, and it’s so simple, it can’t fail. It goes like this: 1) Make a website. 2) Use it to encourage other “Tea Party Americans” to draft Sarah Palin for Alaska’s Senate seat. 3) Capitalist gold-plated big gulp-sipping freedom unicorns for everyone! . . .

Read more at: Wonkette

Sarah Palin, President Obama, Racism and the Civil War

Can anybody tell me what the hell Sarah Palin is trying to say here? You couldn't possibly diagram any of her sentences, or even figure out where they begin and end. As good as HBO's Game Change movie was, this element of Palin's character wasn't on full display. She's still giving us pageant answers, though she may have cobbled together some factoids in the last three years. It's the art of sounding like you're saying something, because you've strung so many words together. The biggest mystery is why this woman with no particular area of expertise is a paid political pundit.

Found at: TowleRoad.com

Sarah Palin Mangles History of Paul Revere's Ride

Sarah Palin has often mocked President Barack Obama's "professorial" or "academic" manner of speaking. Palin herself is in no danger of ever being put into that same category. As is typical for this mistress of the "pageant answer," she just starts talking, filling an endless sentence with words, hoping that no one will notice that she's not really saying anything. Or that what she is saying is completely wrong. Also, there. Too.




And now a word from Keith Olbermann. . .



Thank you to Stupid Monkey Planet for the link.

FOX "News" Reports That Pres. Obama is Dead

This is not really a dig at FOX "News." Goodness knows they bring enough derision and shame upon themselves deservingly. It's a strange twist of fate that a man named Obama ordered the execution of a man named Osama. And it totally crushes any predictions of a person not being elected president due only to his name. Well, unless his name is Adolph W. Hitler, or something. So, it isn't surprising--in fact it's happening so often that Jon Stewart had an "Osama/Obama" penalty jar on his show--that people of all stripes are tripping their tongues on both names this week.

But leave it to FOX to announce that President Barack Obama is announcing his own death on live TV.

Sarah Palin Scores Reality Show on TLC

Image from source, TV Newser

Does "TLC" stand for thoroughly lousy candidate? Ha! I kid. Not really. Just kidding. Not really.

It is easy (oh, so easy) to snark on Sarah Palin. Her list of gaffes and goofs easily outstrips Vice President Joe "This is a big f*cking deal" Biden, and his political career is decades longer than hers. But let's put aside Palin's uniquely polarizing effect on the voting populace. Let's concentrate on her abilities as a TV host.

She's trained in journalism, despite having a rather large beef with journalists. She's telegenic, and does manage to en-swoon a sizable portion of the potential viewing audience. She loves Alaska, and likes talking about it. But there's the problem. She'll be talking, probably narrating. The voice. The constantly "on" folksy colloquialisms. The dropped Gs on everything ending in an "-ing." The rambling, impossible-to-diagram sentence structure. Her speeches are not "a bridge to nowhere," they are "paragraphs to nowhere." And the whole nature format is going to be turned on its head by a lady who likes to hang out of a helicopter shooting the wildlife. And settin' up oil rigs right in the middle of national parks! Also.

[Excerpt]

Sarah Palin Alaska Documentary Goes to TLC

Fox News analyst Sarah Palin's life on TV just got a lot busier. Discovery Communications announced this morning they have acquired the rights to "Sarah Palin's Alaska," an 8-part series helmed by "Survivor" and "Apprentice" creator Mark Burnett. . .

Read more at: TVNewser

Sarah Palin Tea Bags Nashville

Ugh. I just heard on the (ludicrously named) "Power Panel" segment of the (also ludicrous) FOX "News" Sunday that opponents to both "Tea Partiers" and Sarah Palin have a derangement syndrome. This was the catch-all excuse for George W. Bush's detractors during his administration. He's not a bad President, his opponents just have "Bush Derangement Syndrome!" They conveniently forgot the gusto with which they hated Bill Clinton. The clearer difference here is that the Tea Baggers, and to a only slightly lesser extent, Palin herself, are themselves deranged.




In my previous post, I gave my impressions of Palin's appearance on F"N"S. It is no coincidence that Palin appeared on the program in tandem with her appearance at the $549-per-ticket Tea Party convention in Nashville, Tennessee. Why waste all that prep work on one event when you can get a twofer? So, here is the Great GOP 2012 Hope. Everything I said in the previous post (and all commentary I've made about Palin since fall 2008) applies to this pile of word salad too.

Sarah Palin Still Making Word Salad, Also

The article excerpted below is an annotated transcription of a Sarah Palin introductory speech. She was introducing former first son and right-wing radio host, Michael Reagan. I'm more of a Ron Reagan fan myself, but I digress.

Reading the piece is somewhat entertaining, mostly for the transcriber's comments. But the thing that really stands out to me is what hell we will be put through should this woman attempt a run for the White House. If she does jump off of that cliff, I can only hope that it is a short, spectacular failure. Because I can't take months and months of this:

". . .But you, you here tonight I know that you understand. Some though, they're empowered by national figures and some in the press who, who want to put not just me, but anybody who dares speak up it seems nowadays right back down in their place if one dares speak their mind nowadays, and here in Alaska it's kind of like this new normal it's a little bit being accepted it seems like that we're dealing in, but so be it. . ."

Ugghhhh! Such babble, such nonsense. The repetition of "nowadays," the insertion of "here in Alaska," the way she injects "some in the press" or "dares speak their mind" into any sentence. Even the "so be it." Go read the whole thing to see what I mean. And be afraid for my sanity if this woman actually makes it. Also.

Source: "Screw Political Correctness" -- Sarah Palin in Her Own Words at Huffington Post