Jesus Christ! Clean Your Shower! (Again)

One more time, you--I'm sure, earnest and heartfelt--crazy freaking religious nutjobs:

Nobody knows what Jesus looked like. Or Mary either, for that matter. You may have your perfect, blond, white, blue-eyed underwear-model Jesus in your mind, but it's at best a guess. A really inappropriate guess, based on the location and time. And some Renaissance painting of Mary, in her splendiferous shawls? Completely made up. So, when you see something like this shower scum, realize it's just pattern recognition. Or, maybe it's John Lennon, Tommy Chong or Frank Zappa. Jesus!

Previously:
Jesus! That's Pizza Sauce!
Jesus Appears on a Steam Iron

Jesus on a Pickup Truck!

Virgin Mary Appears in a Brain Scan?

News of the Weird: Jesus! Clean Your Shower!

The Second Coming of Cheesus!

Cheesus: Jesus Found in a Cheetos Bag

Jesus Found in Potato!

Jesus Found in Slab of Granite

Jesus Christ on a Pancake!

Jesus is Everywhere!

Calling a Spade a Deity: Jesus Appears on a Shovel!

Oh, Jesus. Is there no place You and Your Mother won't show up?

[Excerpt]

Bethesda woman sees Jesus in a garden shovel

A BETHESDA woman claims to have spotted an apparition of Jesus Christ on, of all things, her boyfriend’s garden shovel!



Andrea Jones was having a cigarette in her garden when she noticed this ‘image’ in the shovel which was leaning against a rabbit hutch. . .

Read more at: The Online Mail


Previously:
Jesus! That's Pizza Sauce!

Jesus on a Pickup Truck!

Virgin Mary Appears in a Brain Scan?

News of the Weird: Jesus! Clean Your Shower!

The Second Coming of Cheesus!

Cheesus: Jesus Found in a Cheetos Bag

Jesus Found in Potato!

Jesus Found in Slab of Granite

Jesus Christ on a Pancake!

Jesus is Everywhere!

Jesus Appears on a Steam Iron

Jesus on a Pickup Truck!

Jesus is everywhere, y'all! And if it isn't him appearing in various items, it's his mom. This time, it was JC himself, or at least a bearded dude who. . .let's face it. . .could be anybody.

[Excerpt]

Man says image of Jesus appears on truck window

Jim Stevens said he's not particularly religious and is clueless about why an image resembling Jesus Christ keeps appearing on his pickup. Stevens, of Jonesborough, said nearly every morning, an image that looks to him like the face of Jesus Christ has appeared in the condensation on the driver's side window of his Isuzu truck. A Johnson City Press photo of the truck showed a facial image. . .

Read more at: Yahoo! News

Previously:

Virgin Mary Appears in a Brain Scan?

News of the Weird: Jesus! Clean Your Shower!

The Second Coming of Cheesus!
Cheesus: Jesus Found in a Cheeto Bag
Jesus Found in Potato!
Jesus Found in Slab of Granite
Jesus Christ on a Pancake!Jesus is Everywhere!

Virgin Mary in Bird Poop

I simply could not resist this. . .

Previously. . .

Jesus is Everywhere!
Virgin Mary Appears in a Brain Scan?
News of the Weird: Jesus! Clean Your Shower!
The Second Coming of Cheesus!
Cheesus: Jesus Found in a Cheeto Bag
Jesus Found in Potato!
Jesus Found in Slab of Granite
Jesus Christ on a Pancake!

Jesus on Mars!

Jesus on Mars!

Image from source, Telegraph

How did I miss this one? Jesus on Mars? OK, you really have to squint to see it, and even then? Naahhh. I've featured many Jesus and/or Mary on--well many things--and I always come around to the same question: how the hell are we supposed to know what either one of them looked like? All we have to go on are the extremely Anglicized, idealized images of Renaissance painters, right? For all we know, this is Frank Zappa. That I might believe.

[Excerpt]

Has Jesus Christ been spotted on Mars?

Now the surface of the planet Mars can be added to this list.

If looked at from the right angle – and with disbelief suspended – this photo released by Nasa can appear to show the face and robed body of Christ. . .

Read more at: Telegraph

Previously. . .

Jesus is Everywhere!
Virgin Mary Appears in a Brain Scan?
News of the Weird: Jesus! Clean Your Shower!
The Second Coming of Cheesus!
Cheesus: Jesus Found in a Cheeto Bag
Jesus Found in Potato!
Jesus Found in Slab of Granite
Jesus Christ on a Pancake!

My Salami Has a First Name, It's. . .G - O - D?

Picture from Sun-Sentinel

Yes, GOD himself (or his nickname, at least) has appeared in fried salami. Not happy about being upstaged by his son, Jesus and his baby mama, Mary, God has joined in on the "appearing in strange places" contest.

[Excerpt]

No baloney! Woman finds God in salami.

Some folks find God in church. Some find God in nature.

Nancy Simoes of Miami found God in salami, Miami television station WFOR reported. Seems she had three pieces of salami in a skillet and flipped one of them and saw the letter G.

"Then got the O and I thought to myself how cool will it be if the third letter was a D," she said.
Simoes realizes people may think she's crazy. (Which tells us she's still sane.)
"I can't make this up. ... it's there in the burn marks. . ."

Read more at: Sun-Sentinel

Previously:

Jesus is Everywhere!
Virgin Mary Appears in a Brain Scan?
News of the Weird: Jesus! Clean Your Shower!
The Second Coming of Cheesus!
Cheesus: Jesus Found in a Cheeto Bag
Jesus Found in Potato!
Jesus Found in Slab of Granite
Jesus Christ on a Pancake!

Jesus is Everywhere!

I've posted a number of Jesus and Mary sightings over the last two years, so I guess the heaping helping of snark served up in this video could just as well be fed to me. But, since I don't take any of it seriously, maybe I'm spared.

What puzzles me most about all of these holy sightings is, how do these people know that the image is of Jesus (or Mary?). After all, nobody knows what they look like. All we have to go by are paintings and statuary, all made by people idealizing their subject matter. So people are really imagining bearded, robed figures (in the case of Jesus) and beatific, shawled women (in the case of Mary). For all we know, these Jesus images could be John Lennon! It's all very silly, but it makes for a fun video.



Previously:
Virgin Mary Appears in a Brain Scan?
News of the Weird: Jesus! Clean Your Shower!
The Second Coming of Cheesus!
Cheesus: Jesus Found in a Cheeto Bag
Jesus Found in Potato!
Jesus Found in Slab of Granite
Jesus Christ on a Pancake!

Virgin Mary Appears in a Brain Scan?

Image from source, Boing Boing

I have quite a list of posts over my short 18-month blogging history, of appearances in strange objects by Jesus Christ and his mom, The Virgin Mary. Why they feel the need to appear in food items, stains, rocks, and now brains is anybody's guess. And why they choose to appear--more or less--as they did in renaissance paintings is yet another mystery. I guess no one would recognize them otherwise?

Religious fervor at its illusory best.

[Excerpt]

Virgin Mary in MRI

Pamela Latrimore, 42, has cancer, arthritis, and no insurance. So the Fort Pierce, Florida woman is hoping to make some cash auctioning off an MRI of her brain that contains an image of the Virgin Mary. . .

Read more at: Boing Boing

Previously:

News of the Weird: Jesus! Clean Your Shower!

The Second Coming of Cheesus!

Cheesus: Jesus Found in a Cheeto Bag
Jesus Found in Potato!
Jesus Found in Slab of Granite
Jesus Christ on a Pancake!