SNL: The Sarah Palin Network (Tina Fey)

Hilarious. One of the best episodes of Saturday Night Live in a long, long time.

Dixie Carter Dies at 70

Image from source, CNN

Sad. I really liked Dixie Carter as an actress, particularly on Designing Women. Here was a conservative lady playing an outspoken liberal with alarming veracity. She was a terrific actress, and very, very funny. I'm also sad for her husband, Hal Holbrook, one of my favorite character actors. RIP, Dixie!

This is from one of my favorite clips from Designing Women, when the AIDS virus was still new. It's a classic Julia Sugarbaker "fired up" rant. Wonderful. Sorry about the quality of the video, it's the only one I could find.

[Excerpt]

Actress Dixie Carter dead at 70

Actress Dixie Carter, best known for her role as Julia Sugarbaker on the TV show "Designing Women," has died, her agent said Saturday. She was 70.

No other details were provided. . .

Read more at: CNN

Florida Republican Party Staffer Charged $1.3 Million to RNC Credit Card

Uh oh. Republicans are so naughty, aren't they?

[Excerpt]

Junior Florida Republican Party staffer had $1.3 million charged to party credit card

She was a 25-year-old junior staffer when the Florida Republican Party gave her an American Express card.

Over the next 2½ years, nearly $1.3 million in charges wound up on Melanie Phister's AmEx — $40,000 at a London hotel, and nearly $20,000 in plane tickets for indicted former House Speaker Ray Sansom, his wife and kids, for starters. Statements show thousands spent on jewelry, sporting goods and in one case $15,000 for what's listed as a month-long stay at a posh Miami Beach hotel, but which the party says was a forfeited deposit. . .

Read more at: St. Petersberg Times

ApplePhobe Takes the Plunge (But Not With iPad)

Image from Apple

I've stated many times here that I'm ApplePhobic (iPhobic?). I've always been a PC, and have encountered far too many haughty, arrogant Cult of Mac adherents. But even I have to admit that Apple's products can be pretty nifty, if a little too precious and a little too pricey. Plus, there's the problem with them aging like cars: once the new version comes out, you're stuck with the old, obsolete one.

Despite all that, I've taken the plunge. Or maybe just stuck my toe in the iWater. I belong to a survey group that gives you points for staying in the program, and I've accumulated enough points now to buy something big from their rewards program. Coincidentally, the number of points I have is just a smidgen over the price of an iPod Nano 5th generation 8GB. I thought about it for a couple of days, and then thought, "why not?" The deal was clinched when I saw that an FM transmitter/caddy/charger can be had for my car for $15 or so on eBay. So that will be my total price for the thing. We'll see if I get infected with iGottaHaveIt for every future iGadget.

For now, I don't know what I'd want with an iPad. I think they're super cool gadgets, really neat-o toys. But I don't see much that is practical there. I'm sure it will evolve, and people will find new indispensable reasons to have one, but right now I don't see it. Especially for a touch-typist like me. If it had a hidden slide-out or fold-out keyboard, I might be on board.

My iPod Nano arrives in 6-8 weeks, so I'm sure I'll do a follow-up after I'm no longer an iVirgin.

[Excerpt]

Why I returned my iPad

Last Saturday at nine in the morning UPS delivered my very first Apple; the new iPad. I had high, in retrospect, unrealistic, expectations. The iPad didn't fulfill them, so I took advantage of the 14-day return policy to ship it and the keyboard dock I bought back to the company for a refund. And I'm not alone. . .

Read more at: WalletPop

Colbert Report: Tiger Woods Nike Commercial Parodies

No news stories bore me more than celebrity sex scandals. For some reason, I love political ones. I guess it's just that if they're not elected officials, and they're not being flaming hypocrites in the process (family values Congressman whooping it up with hookers, etc.), I don't see it as newsworthy. If it has a surprising angle, or one of the celebrity couple is a hottie (Sandra Bullock/Jesse James), it might capture a smidgen of my attention. But usually, whether I really like the celebrity in question (David Letterman) or I couldn't give a care (Tiger Woods), I just want the story to go away.

All that said, the parodies of Woods' "comeback" Nike commercial (the one with his dead dad's voice lecturing him) are inspired. Particularly the one with Gene Wilder from Young Frankenstein. Brilliant.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Tiger's Nike Commercial
http://www.colbertnation.com/
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

Sarah Palin-Michele Bachmann 2012?

On one hand, I think a Palin-Bachmann ticket would be tremendously entertaining. And irritating. And a boon to comedy. On the other hand, we re-elected George W. Bush after we'd already had four years of him (or maybe just elected, as the first term wasn't exactly a traditional win). Sure, we had the uncharismatic John Kerry to run against him, but I was truly flabbergasted that America could be so stupid. Stupid is as stupid does, and that could be Palin-Bachmann's saving grace. I shudder at the thought.

If I had another hand, I'd point out that there is almost no way that the Republican establishment would allow this ticket to happen. First, you can't run a full ticket from the starting gate, you have to go one at a time. And either Palin or Bachmann would be shredded not only by Democrats, but by the other Republicans in the primary race. Okay, I'll go back to my first hand. It would be entertainingly irritating, and uproariously funny.

On the fourth hand, listen to the crowd's response to the idea. Insane.

[Excerpt]

Palin: Palin-Bachmann 2012 ticket ‘sounds kind of cool.’



HANNITY: Are either one of you considering a run for the presidency in 2012? Just asking. Governor Palin, I’ll start — I’ll start with you. But before I get their answers, how many of would you like to see a Palin-Bachmann ticket?

PALIN: Well that sounds kind of cool. That sounds kind of cool.

HANNITY: Governor Palin, are you thinking about a run again?

PALIN: As I have said, I’m not going to close any doors that perhaps would be open. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Another Horror Movie Remake: Fright Night

Image from source, Bam! Kapow!

They say Hollywood is out of ideas, and it would seem they are right. Everything old is new again, and even newish movies like Spider-Man and Superman Returns are being rebooted (starting over from scratch). Remakes of Halloween and Friday the 13th have come out and are starting a whole new chain of sequels with A Nightmare on Elm Street hot on their heels. The results are mixed so far. New fans are probably born, but more often than not, the original fans are underwhelmed.

Star Trek seemed to please mostly everybody last year. So what will the next big one be? Gilligan's Island is on tap, though it can't be worse than the source material. And now, Fright Night is being remade. You many not have heard of the 80s vampire flick, but it was one of my favorites of the era. It starred Chris Sarandon (Susan's ex), William Ragsdale (Herman's Head), Amanda Bearse (Married. . .with Children) and Roddy McDowell. It is appreciated best with large doses of nostalgia, as the 80s vibe is thick on this one. The soundtrack is atrocious, the makeup effects a little sub-par. But I loved it enough to wear out the videotape, and then buy it on LaserDisc and DVD. I'm sure the Blu-ray will follow.

A remake could probably be worth a view. The original only really suffers for the era in which it was filmed, so an update just might be the ticket.

[Excerpt]

FRIGHT NIGHT Reboot starring Chekov?

Craig Gillespie, the director behind 2007’s “Lars and the Real Girl,” is helming the new version, which sticks to the concept of a teen being convinced that his new neighbor is a vampire, although no one will believe him.

The new iteration, written by Marti Noxon, keeps the character’s name the same as in the original: Charley Brewster. William Ragsdale, now seen on FX’s “Justified,” originated the role. . .

Read more at: Bam! Kapow!

Captain Obvious: The Young Turks on Inciting Violence

Captain Obvious is a new feature at Greenlee Gazette, where I get up on my soapbox and opine on issues that should be obvious but for some reason aren't. I'll make an attempt to be brief and pithy, but I have a tendancy to get windy, so please bear with me while I hammer out the format.

I've been having a discussion on and off Facebook with a group called "Right Pride," a gay Republican group in Nevada. In these discussions, members of the group have expressed incredulity that I think conservatives are anti-gay. In response, I simply point to Free Republic, one of the most popular far-right outposts on the web. There, they can find more evidence than they could possibly finish in a week.

But the FReepers don't just have ire for gay people. They're mad about just about everything. And their rage is stoked by actual elected officials. This is one easy to check area that reflects what the base's response is to all of this incitement. I'm not the only one who thinks so. In fact, it should be obvious.

Ellen DeGeneres Smeared on Family Feud?

Do you suppose the old guy thought Ellen DeGeneres was Rosie O'Donnell? Not that Rosie hates her country, mind you. But if you're a Sean Hannity fan, you'd think she does. But Ellen? Really? At least she took it well.

Another Shoe Bomber? Uh, Not So Much.

Image from source, ABC News

Note to self: do not joke about lighting my shoes on fire on a plane. Darn, and it's my favorite joke too. . .

[Excerpt]

FBI: No Explosives Found on United Jet in Denver

FBI agents say no explosives were found in the shoes of a Qatar diplomat who was subdued by federal air marshals on a United flight to Denver Wednesday night after allegedly telling the marshals, "I'm lighting my shoes on fire."

Authorities say the diplomat was wrestled to the ground and two F-16 fighter jets were dispatched to accompany the 757 on the final 40 minutes of its flight to Denver. Flight 663 originated from Washington Reagan airport. . .

Read more at: ABC News by way of Stupid Monkey Planet

Sarah Palin: Stupid Is as Stupid Does

It isn't unusual for politicians to contradict themselves. But Sarah Palin (not, strictly speaking, a politician, since she has no job) has outdone most by contradicting herself in the same sentence. As usual, a rambling, run-on sentence.

On a side note, I've just got to ask: How, exactly, did this shrill and grating voice endear so many? I simply can't imagine having to listen to this woman for four years in the White House. Ugh.

[Excerpt]

Confused Palin: It is ‘mistaken’ to call GOP the ‘Party of No,’ but GOP is right to be ‘Party of No’ to Obama.



PALIN: When the left tries to push through policies that violate our consciences, and our values, and our Constitution, it’s Michele who is trying to get them to halt. Michele doesn’t just tell them no. She tells them H-E-L-L no. You know, here the Republicans have been getting criticized lately with this, this mistaken concept, I guess, sort of surrounding Republicans right now that they’re the Party of No. That we’re the Party of No. And we’re saying, ‘what’s wrong with being the Party of No when you consider what it is that Obama, Pelosi and Reid are trying to do to our country. So be it!

Read more at: Think Progress by way of Stupid Monkey Planet

FBI Arrests Man for Threatening Nancy Pelosi

Image from Blognet News

Since Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the House, she has been vilified on right-wing talk radio and FOX "News" as practically the devil incarnate. So how surprising is it really that someone on the fringe would threaten her? Not that it is easy to sort out just who on the right counts as "fringe" anymore. But the vehement denials on the right that they are stirring up violent sentiments seem thinner and thinner.

[Excerpt]

Man Arrested for Allegedly Threatening Nancy Pelosi

The FBI arrested a San Francisco man this afternoon for allegedly making dozens of threatening phone calls to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi over health care reform, the latest in the backlash against lawmakers who supported the legislation. . .

Read more at: AOL News

Rupert Murdoch: FOX "News" Shouldn't Promote Tea Baggers?

Really, Rupert? Y'mean that?

Nevada Governor and Attorney General in Battle Over Health Care Reform

Image of partyin' Gov. Gibbons from Wonkette

From everything I've read and heard, an attempt to repeal the recently enacted health care reform bill would be a long shot. Claims that it is un-Constitutional also seem to be on rather shaky legal ground. It is also amusingly ironic that the sticky-wicket they're fighting over is the "mandate" that requires citizens to buy health care. Why ironic? Because it was proposed by Republicans in the first place, back in 1993, in response to "HillaryCare."

Several state Governors have had their Attorneys General file suit against the government on those grounds, and a few have run into a stalemate. Here in Nevada, our Governor Gibbons--who's had to pump up his conservative cred in order to try to hang onto his job--is running up against the Nevada AG, who is a Democrat. She thinks it's a waste of time and money, and she is most likely correct. So, crafty (shifty) Gibbons is trying an end-run. Will it blow up in his face? I'll be watching.

[Excerpt]

Nevada officials at odds over healthcare law

Nevada's Republican governor and Democratic attorney general are prime examples of the partisan bickering over the new healthcare law in recent weeks, with the pair publicly warring over whether the state should join a lawsuit attempting to thwart the legislation.

On Tuesday, they took steps toward a potential constitutional cage match.

Gov. Jim Gibbons announced he would sidestep Atty. Gen. Catherine Cortez Masto, who had declined to join more than a dozen states in challenging the healthcare law's constitutionality, and retain private counsel for the effort. . .

Read more at: Los Angeles Times

Is FOX "News" Losing Favor With Republicans?

Image from source, Think Progress

And by Republicans, I mean the slim slice of the more rational, reasonable set of prominent GOPers. This would include David Frum and apparently now Sen. Tom Coburn, both of whom have pointed out the reality of FOX "News" to the public at large. Combine this with the schisms between the traditional GOP and the tea baggers (not to mention the schisms among the 'baggers themselves), the unpopularity of RNC chairman Michael Steele, Sarah Palin's tightrope walk between all of them, and countless other recent events, and you have to wonder. . . Is the Republican Party, which historically should win big gains in November, be coming apart at the seams?

[Excerpt]

Coburn Implores Audience To Not Be ‘Biased By Fox News’

Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) regularly appears on Fox News. But at a recent town hall meeting, he accurately criticized the network for pushing misinformation about health care reform. When an audience member said that she believed the false claim that the new health care reform law meant that the IRS “can put us in prison” for not having health insurance, Coburn cut her off, saying that despite what they may have heard on Fox News, “the intention is not to put anybody in jail”. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Photo of the Day: Sean Hannity is a D*Bag!

Love. It.

Found at: Joe.My.God.

Monkey Police!

Image from source, Sky News

Here at Greenlee Gazette, we have a weakness for stories about monkeys. And while this may be a Stupid Monkey Planet, there are a few smart monkeys out there. . .

[Excerpt]

Thai Police Force Takes Monkey On The Beat

A Thai police force has begun taking a monkey dressed in officer's uniform on patrol each day to help improve relations with Muslim separatists.

The five-year-old pig-tailed macaque was adopted after policemen in Yaha province in southern Thailand found him injured with a broken arm. . .

Read more at: Sky News

Las Vegas Sun Deconstructs Sen. John Ensign's Scandal

Image from source, Las Vegas Sun

Yeah, back-to-back John Ensign stories. Well, he is one of my Senators, and I guess I'll stop posting about him as soon as people stop writing interesting stuff about him. But that may not be any time soon. . .

[Excerpt]

Deconstructing the facade of John Ensign

Last summer, Sen. John Ensign was with his wife, Darlene, at Palace Station for a meeting of Nevada Republican women.

It was a somewhat awkward venue, coming soon after he had confessed to an affair with his best friend’s wife, Cynthia Hampton, who had been Ensign’s campaign treasurer and whose husband, Doug Hampton, had been his Senate co-chief of staff. . .

Read more at: Las Vegas Sun

More Doo-Doo for Sen. John Ensign

Image from source, Las Vegas Now

I have to wonder how the John Ensign story is staying so quiet on the national scene. All sorts of things are bubbling to the surface, and it ain't looking good for Captain Hairdo. Thanks to Stupid Monkey Planet for the link.

[Excerpt]

Gift Card Deal Raises More Questions for Senator John Ensign

As Senator John Ensign's affair was ripping apart his staff and damaging two marriages, Doug Hampton began a plan.

Later called "this gift card deal," in late April of 2008, Hampton shared his plan for prepaid gift card donations for the National Republican Senatorial Committee. This was at the same time Hampton was leaving Ensign's office months after the senator admitted privately to an affair with Hampton's wife, Cindy. . .

Read more at: Las Vegas Now

Auto-Tune The News #11

I just love this stuff. . .