Oh, I just can't leave well enough alone, can I? I get happy news, like marriage equality in Washington State, and what do I do? I have to go dip a toe into the frigid waters of right-wing world. If you ever want to go for a dip there, the most distilled waters are in FreeRepublic.com. There you'll find the tea-baggin'est, god-fearin'est, Palin-lovin'est crowd of keyboard commandos anywhere on the internets.
And they don't like gay people. At all. At all. At all. Your average FReeper either doesn't know (or know that they know) any gay people, or hates every one they've met. They believe the most ridiculous statistics (most gays die by age 42!), craziest lies (most gays have "gay bowel disease!"), most insane urban legends (gerbils!), and use the most heinous language (f*g, f*ggot, d*ke, and worse), and senses of humor on par with Beavis and Butthead.
So, it should go without saying that the FReepers would go ballistic over this decision. But I'm not going to let it go without saying. Here they are, (mostly) uncensored. And remember, this is not an obscure site. This is the face of the Republican base.
"The left does error “not knowing the scriptures”. Woe unto them that call evil good and good evil....."
[Editor] The right would do well to learn that no one in this country is bound to follow their religion, or their interpretation of it.
"Get ready for the almost immediate issuance of all so called marriage licenses to ask for partner a and partner b, no more husband and wife, no more bride and groom."
[Ed.] Yes and no. The paperwork will probably say that. The words you use for each other are your own. For my marriage, we are husband and husband. On the paperwork, Partner A and Partner B. Nobody is outlawing words.
"I hope this perverted bill goes back to hell where it belongs"
[Ed.] The bill is perverted, and it came from hell?
"PERVERTS are NOT Equal to normal decent citizens. Not now not ever......"
[Ed.] Excuse me? Heterosexual perverts are already allowed to get married. This is about equality!
"Sounds like pretty good grounds for a serious "beat down", either in person or in court. . ."
[Ed.:] Annnnd, we have our first threat of violence.
"Prime example of why civil unions (defined here as “everything but marriage”) aren’t good enough for the homosexual activists. After they got civil unions, they immediately went to a “separate but equal” argument as to why even civil unions aren’t enough."
[Ed.:] When the "everything but marriage" separate but equal law was percolating in Washington, the anti-gay brigade fought it tooth-and-nail. In Ohio, they passed a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage and civil unions. So, what's good for the goose. . .
"A man and sheep — separate but equal. . ."
[Ed.:] Classic false equivalence. Animals (and children, and toasters) cannot give informed consent.
"Perhaps we will have to distinguish between secular marriage, or government marriage, and biblical Christian marriage."
[Ed.:] We already do, moron. Civil marriage and religious marriage, ie., "holy matrimony." My side has been arguing this from the very beginning!
"Queerly beloved, we are gathered together with the approval of Satan and in this company of weirdos to jon [sic] together in unholy deadlock these two perverts."
[Ed.] I've got to hand it to 'em. While the thread on this subject was vile as usual, it was rather restrained, compared to others. And this last statement? The closest thing to humor--malicious though it may be--that I've seen in all of the FreeRepublic. Kudos!
"I have already cancelled my Sunday newspaper subscription because I don't want to see the faggot ‘wedding’ pictures."
[Ed.] Yes. Because wedding announcements are renowned for their sexually graphic photos.
"San F*Gcisco takes the top spot but the Western Wa. area is a liberal commie cesspool/sewer of the highest order."
[Ed.] Oh, the hilarity! And I assure you, there was no "*" in the original.
"Our fudge packer supporters here in Seattle are second only to San Fran Freako in their depravity."
[Ed.] Okay, obviously the quasi funny comment a couple of quotes up drained whatever potential humor these folks have. I feel bad for comparing them to Beavis and Butthead, who are at least funny.
As an aside, how many cities and states in America are on the "not REAL America" list anyway?
- Chicago (Chicago-style thug politics)
- Massachusetts (Taxachusetts)
- San Francisco (San Fran Freako/San F*Gcisco, above)
- Seattle (Does it have a nickname yet?)
- Hollywood (Hollyweird)
- Las Vegas (Sin City)
- Washington, DC (Obama-nation)
- New York (Godless)
- New Orleans (Before Katrina)
- Detroit (Should have been left to die)
That's quite a list of American places that conservatives hate!
And they don't like gay people. At all. At all. At all. Your average FReeper either doesn't know (or know that they know) any gay people, or hates every one they've met. They believe the most ridiculous statistics (most gays die by age 42!), craziest lies (most gays have "gay bowel disease!"), most insane urban legends (gerbils!), and use the most heinous language (f*g, f*ggot, d*ke, and worse), and senses of humor on par with Beavis and Butthead.
So, it should go without saying that the FReepers would go ballistic over this decision. But I'm not going to let it go without saying. Here they are, (mostly) uncensored. And remember, this is not an obscure site. This is the face of the Republican base.
"The left does error “not knowing the scriptures”. Woe unto them that call evil good and good evil....."
[Editor] The right would do well to learn that no one in this country is bound to follow their religion, or their interpretation of it.
"Get ready for the almost immediate issuance of all so called marriage licenses to ask for partner a and partner b, no more husband and wife, no more bride and groom."
[Ed.] Yes and no. The paperwork will probably say that. The words you use for each other are your own. For my marriage, we are husband and husband. On the paperwork, Partner A and Partner B. Nobody is outlawing words.
"I hope this perverted bill goes back to hell where it belongs"
[Ed.] The bill is perverted, and it came from hell?
"PERVERTS are NOT Equal to normal decent citizens. Not now not ever......"
[Ed.] Excuse me? Heterosexual perverts are already allowed to get married. This is about equality!
"Sounds like pretty good grounds for a serious "beat down", either in person or in court. . ."
[Ed.:] Annnnd, we have our first threat of violence.
"Prime example of why civil unions (defined here as “everything but marriage”) aren’t good enough for the homosexual activists. After they got civil unions, they immediately went to a “separate but equal” argument as to why even civil unions aren’t enough."
[Ed.:] When the "everything but marriage" separate but equal law was percolating in Washington, the anti-gay brigade fought it tooth-and-nail. In Ohio, they passed a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage and civil unions. So, what's good for the goose. . .
"A man and sheep — separate but equal. . ."
[Ed.:] Classic false equivalence. Animals (and children, and toasters) cannot give informed consent.
"Perhaps we will have to distinguish between secular marriage, or government marriage, and biblical Christian marriage."
[Ed.:] We already do, moron. Civil marriage and religious marriage, ie., "holy matrimony." My side has been arguing this from the very beginning!
"Queerly beloved, we are gathered together with the approval of Satan and in this company of weirdos to jon [sic] together in unholy deadlock these two perverts."
[Ed.] I've got to hand it to 'em. While the thread on this subject was vile as usual, it was rather restrained, compared to others. And this last statement? The closest thing to humor--malicious though it may be--that I've seen in all of the FreeRepublic. Kudos!
UPDATE: THERE'S MORE!
"I have already cancelled my Sunday newspaper subscription because I don't want to see the faggot ‘wedding’ pictures."
[Ed.] Yes. Because wedding announcements are renowned for their sexually graphic photos.
"San F*Gcisco takes the top spot but the Western Wa. area is a liberal commie cesspool/sewer of the highest order."
[Ed.] Oh, the hilarity! And I assure you, there was no "*" in the original.
"Our fudge packer supporters here in Seattle are second only to San Fran Freako in their depravity."
[Ed.] Okay, obviously the quasi funny comment a couple of quotes up drained whatever potential humor these folks have. I feel bad for comparing them to Beavis and Butthead, who are at least funny.
As an aside, how many cities and states in America are on the "not REAL America" list anyway?
- Chicago (Chicago-style thug politics)
- Massachusetts (Taxachusetts)
- San Francisco (San Fran Freako/San F*Gcisco, above)
- Seattle (Does it have a nickname yet?)
- Hollywood (Hollyweird)
- Las Vegas (Sin City)
- Washington, DC (Obama-nation)
- New York (Godless)
- New Orleans (Before Katrina)
- Detroit (Should have been left to die)
That's quite a list of American places that conservatives hate!
But, but Jamie, I like you. And I don't say those mean things. Except the gerbil part- there is a very funny joke Rush Limbaugh tells about it.
ReplyDeleteActually, this how it should work, in my humble opinion. It's a State's rights issue and if the State wants it, then so be it. But if a state doesn't want it, then leave well enough alone.
Thanks, Dan. I like you too. But however funny the gerbil joke is, you do know that it's an urban legend, right? Okay.
ReplyDeleteAs for marriage rights, I don't think so. If you and your wife were married in Wisconsin, you're married here. No fuss, no muss. I got married in California, but it isn't legal in Nevada, or at the federal level. So, even though my marriage is considered equal in six states (more to come!) and DC, DOMA prevents it from being equal elsewhere. That's a violation of the full faith and credit clause of the Constitution, and I betcha it is going to be ruled in my favor one day. I may be old or dead, but I bet it will happen.