Poop Boat Triumph Returns from Floating at Sea

The big story at the moment dominating cable news (as events sometimes do), is the return of derelict Carnival Cruise Lines ship, Triumph. But to be honest, the thing that cracks me up is the focus on poop. And the fact that it's called Triumph. First, it was anything but a triumph. And secondly, Triumph is the name of a famously crude puppet with a book called called Come Poop with Me. I mean, come on! I'm supposed to be empathizing, when all I can think of is sophomoric jokes?

I know it had to suck, but nobody died. It was a hellish experience, but the people on the boat will have stories for the rest of their lives, and maybe get a nifty settlement deal out of it. Well, assuming that they haven't absolved Carnival of all guilt by going on CNN or MSNBC talking about how great the crew was, and that there was nothing more they could do! Not thinking, these folks. 15 minutes of fame versus 15 grand? I dunno. . .

[Excerpt]

Carnival Triumph Docking: Disabled Cruise Ship Reaches Mobile, Alabama, Port

A cruise ship disabled for five nightmarish days in the Gulf finally docked with some 4,200 people aboard late Thursday, passengers raucously cheering the end to an ocean odyssey they say was marked by overflowing toilets, food shortages and foul odors. . .

Read more at: Huffington Post

Sarah Silverman's Proposal to Sheldon Adelson (NSFW)

Image from Jewcy

As a Las Vegas resident for almost 18 years, I'm of course familiar with Sheldon Adelson, the rich dude who owns the Venetian. His name is big in town, as you'd expect. I knew that he was a conservative, and a bit eccentric. But I think for a while I had him confused with John Cleese's portrayal in Rat Race. Which means, I thought he was a harmless billionaire.

And then there was Newt. Adelson pretty much single-handedly kept Newt Gingrich in the Republican Primaries long past his expiration date. That's one guy (two if you count his wife) keeping a candidate in the race, through largesse. It's just odd. And now that Newton has bounced, Adelson is pumping money into supporting Mitt Romney. In this case, it isn't single-handed, but it could be. And it's all so puzzling. Before Obama was president, Adelson's holdings were hemorrhaging cash. In the last 3+ years, he's rebounded. Why does Obama scare him so? And should one guy have this much power?

Sarah Silverman has a proposition for Mr. Adelson. And being Sarah Silverman, she's not exactly ladylike about it. Or maybe she is, it depends upon your definition. But I will tell you that this us not safe for work. So, don't complain to me that it's dirty and tasteless. I just told you that.

Mitt Romney's Short Bus Antics

The Etch-a-Sketch Express? Or The Short Bus?
Image from source.

Do you remember a few weeks ago, when it came to light that Mitt Romney once taunted a gay kid, then--with his posse--chased after the boy, and forcibly cut his hair? We were told that it was almost 50 years ago, he was just a (18-year-old) kid, and blah, blah, blah, we were being petty. Then, more recently, we found out that Romney also liked to drive around pretending to be a state trooper. In uniform. And actually pulling people over. Pfft! Just innocent pranks! He was just a kid!

Well, the weird kid has apparently not grown up all that much. I'm sure the tea baggers lap this stuff up, but do independents? Do disaffected Democrats? I'm thinking not so much.

Romney Campaign Bus Taunts Obama Supporters


Romney Campaign’s Classless Antics Harm Their Brand

Democrats Show Up at Empty House Floor, GOP Cuts Cameras

Here come the scary Democrats!
Image from Think Progress

Was this a bit of political theater? Yes, yes it was. Was this Nancy Pelosi sticking her finger in John Boner Boehner's eye? Yes. But, it proves the House was really not in session. And it proves that when the GOP is backed into a corner, they get all childish. Shut off the cameras! Cut their microphones! Ridiculous. But kudos to the Democrats for making them have a spaz attack.




[Excerpt]


House Democrats Rush Floor Demanding Republicans Come Back To Work, GOP Cuts Off C-SPAN 




House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and a group of Democratic lawmakers took to an empty House floor today to demonstrate that they were willing to work while Republicans lawmakers are at home. “Where are the Republicans?” demanded Assistant to the Minority Leader James Clyburn (R-SC). Joining Pelosi and Clyburn were five other House Democrats who are assigned to the payroll-tax extension conference committee. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Funny or Die: Ass Pennies

Okay, so my blog seems to be doing weird things in both Internet Explorer and Firefox. So this is just a test post, to see if I can straighten things out. It's a Funny or Die bit from a while back and it's funny, if you're an overgrown sophomore like me. Meanwhile, I'll see if I can figure out what's going on around here. . .

Ass Pennies - watch more funny videos

Meanwhile, in Iowa

Well, I won't comment, but Kenneth said: "Marcus taught her well."

Posted without comment.


Found at: Kenneth in the (212) 














UPDATED TO ADD: Oh. My. God.

"I will not put it in my mouth! I WON'T!!!"

Mitt Romney Packs Fudge

"Okay everyone, let me put on my glove, and pack some fudge!"

Is it wrong to say that Willard "Mitt" Romney is a fudge packer? Is it wrong to think that that particular double entendre is hilarious? Is it wrong that at (very nearly) 45 years old, this picture still cracks me up? Don't care. I'm laughing. Doesn't matter if it's appropriate.

Mittens is, apparently, running for president again. . .

What a Government Shutdown Means

The Weeping Orange Boner Boehner, from MSNBC

When a new party gains control of all or part of the government, they love to say "the grown ups are now in charge." I'm not sure who, but I'm pretty sure somebody has said the same about John Boner Boehner's Republican House of Representatives. Though the boner does do quite a bit of crying for an adult, doesn't he? And he sure has the adult practice of "taking my ball and going home" tantrum thing down pat.  He demands X number of dollars in cuts (but no new taxes!), and ultimately--as they often do--Democrats caved. And Boehner says no, now you have to cut this much! Or I'm shutting it down!!! I almost expect him to say, "I know you are, but what am I?"

Worse, the Republicans are lying to us. "Nobody wants a shut down" they say, and then they turn around and get thunderous applause for promising to shut 'er down! Great, now they're getting catch phrases from Larry the Cable Guy.  Lord knows why they want the government to shut down. Most likely, it will be a colossal--and expensive--mess to clean up. Way, way more trouble than it's worth. And exactly what would our consequences be? Do they care?

[Excerpt]

As shutdown looms, agencies brace for impact

The National Zoo would close, but the lions and tigers would get fed; Yellowstone and other national parks would shut down. The Internal Revenue Service could stop issuing refund checks. Customs and Border Patrol agents training officials in Afghanistan might have to come home. And thousands of government-issued BlackBerrys would go silent. . .

Read more at: MSNBC

Movie Review: Sex Drive

Image from Wikipedia.com

I'm not exactly the teenage sex comedy target audience.  So what the heck was I doing watching Sex Drive (Unrated Edition)?  Well, it has Seth Green (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Robot Chicken) in it.  I figure if he'd be in it, it might just be worthwhile.  But it could just be crap. Which is it? A little from column A and a little from column B.

The unrated version features a funny intro by the producer/writers, reading (intentionally badly) a disclaimer about the film.  They warn us to watch the theatrical version, and only to come back for the unrated stuff later. The reason is quickly apparent.  This is more than a "director's cut." It includes footage usually saved for the special features of the DVD: improvs, throwaway jokes, cutups from the cast, sequential takes, the lot.  But since I doubt I'll watch the film twice, I'm glad I got to see this version.  It kind of plays like a live-action cartoon.

It is difficult to make an intentionally stupid movie, and still make it funny. But this one ain't half bad.  It's surely better than Fear Dot Com, which I watched and reviewed earlier today.  The acting is decent, the story is serviceable, and some of the jokes actually made me laugh out loud.  Most surprising, there were assorted storylines that weren't forgotten at the end. They managed to tie up things they could have just written off, and a couple of them were actually surprising (and funny). Where Fear Dot Com was merely pointless, Sex Drive is pointless fun.

Recommendation: Turn your brain off and enjoy.

Sarah Palin Constructs Ugly Fence to Keep Out Evil Journalist

Image from source, The Mudflats

I don't know if the journalist who moved next door to Sarah Palin has any nefarious intent. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. But Sarah's response was spectacularly white trash, wasn't it? That's one doozy of a fence right there.  And yeah, this may be a non-story, the kind of thing Sarah pumps up to keep her name on the tips of our tongues across this great country of ours. All of 'em! Also, too.  But the writeup below is ten kinds of funny, and the commentary is even funnier. Dig in, have a good time.  Because while Sarah Palin looves attention, I don't think she likes it much when we point and laugh.

[Excerpt]

Photo of the Day: Palin’s Fencetrosity

Well, here’s the new fence. It’s quite the… fencetrosity. The whole thing has the look of someone taking an already high fence, and then finding another fence like it only of a different color, and stapling that fence on to the other fence, only a couple feet higher, creating some kind of awkward layered fence hybrid that looks like it may topple over at any moment. And it’s far more horrible looking from her side, than from the neighbor’s side. That’ll show ‘em.


Read more at: The Mudflats

EDITED TO ADD: My favorite assessment of Sarah Palin. . .

Sign Fail! Alert Sarah Palin!

Well, I haven't found too much fun and exciting to post for the new week yet. Tonight, I'll try harder. For now--as a graphic artist for a sign company--I couldn't resist posting this.

Source: Failblog.org

A Charlie Brown Christmas With the Cast of Scrubs

Another Holiday Cheer/Frivolity Break/Inappropriate Humor post, this time with A Charlie Brown Christmas starring the cast of Scrubs. The key word here is "inappropriate," so don't say I didn't warn you!

Frost the Inappropriate Snowman (How I Met Your Mother)

A combination of Frivolity Break and Holiday Cheer, this hilarious clip using voices from How I Met Your Mother and video from Frosty the Snowman also does double-duty as faux outrage! Yep, the right-wing has got their panties in a bunch over it. They simply don't do humor, do they?

Frivolity Break: Billboards That Don't Go Together

Or rather, these billboards go together in unintentionally hilarious ways. I work for a sign company, and I can guarantee, they noticed when they installed these things. Hell, they probably took the pictures!

Source: Buzzfeed (via Joe.My.God.)

Inappropriate Humor: What to Say During Sex (and What Not to Say)

I haven't read something that made me laugh until my eyes leaked in a long time, but this did it. Click to embiggen if necessary, and then start in the middle and work your way left. Then start over, and work to the right. Hilarious.

Source: Incredimazing

Oh, My.

Burger King's Super Seven Incher.

Do you think they're trying to top (exuse the pun) Quizno's risque "put it in me" oven ads?

Source: D-Listed

Rachel Maddow Has Fun With Boehner

With a name like John Boner Boehner, it would be wise to choose ones words a little more carefully. . .

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Jimmy Kimmel's This Week in Unnecessary Censorship

I love these things!

Frivolity Break: WTF Pianist Performance

OK, now this is disturbing. And oddly engaging. My god, those ears!

WARNING: If you are at work, or if you have little kiddies running around, be sure to turn the sound way down, or put in your earphones!

Most Inappropriate Logo of All Time

I'm a sign maker by trade, and a logo maker by specialty. So this hits not only my (12-year-old) funny bone, it also hits my designer bone (heh, I said bone). Anyway, you've got to admit this is pretty funny.

The most inappropriate logo of all-time

In the 70s, this picture stood for God's children. Now it just stands for boys giving priests a good ol beej. Yes, this is an actual logo designed in 1973 for the Catholic Church’s Archdiocesan Youth Commission. It even won an award from the Art Directors Club of Los Angeles.

Source: AfroJacks.com