Rush Limbaugh to Undergo Sex Reassignment Surgery

Sources tell us at Greenlee Gazette that thrice-married "traditional family values" conservative radio host, Rush Limbaugh, has finally come to terms with his transsexuality. According to well-placed sources (who prefer to go unnamed), Limbaugh does not intend to simultaneously undergo plastic surgery or liposuction, envisioning himself as a zaftig, Rubinesque future beauty. Rumor has it, Limbaugh will continue his radio program using his new name, Rachel Tension.