Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Captain Obvious: Yet Another Gay Primer

I've spent some time--perhaps too much time--reading some of the right-wing reaction to the repeal of the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) policy.  As is usual, there is a lot of homophobic name calling, and sub Jr. High School-level attempts at "humor." But mostly, there is a level of obsession over the sex aspect of homosexual, that even most gay people themselves don't indulge in. To live in right-wing world is apparently to know no gay people, and to believe only the most damning, negative things about them.

By far, the biggest theme on right-wing sites about the lifting of DADT is that the military will now be "homosexualized." In their feverish dreams, they envision soldiers holding hands, wearing pink uniforms, smooching in the commissary, a-doin'-it in the barracks, fondling in the showers, and horrors imposing themselves upon the uber-macho straight soldiers against their wills.  There is also a lot of cognitive dissonance at work. For instance, they'll insist that gays make up less than 1% of the population (ha!), but that they're all-powerful, and "taking over" the military. They'll portray us as mincing queens, flitting about, while simultaneously portraying us as predatory animals, overpowering the defenseless straights. It's all a little crazy. Okay, a lot crazy.  So here, is one more attempt to set the record straight. . .uh. . .so to speak.

1. There have always been gay people in the military - The only difference now is that gay soldiers won't have to hide that fact.  Until now, they've been forced to lie, by deed or omission. That can create a very stressful situation, with all sorts of attendant problems.

2. Gays in the showers and bunks is thus nothing new - But now, if you're a service member who has a real aversion to teh gay, you'll know who to avoid! This is a win for you guys, though it's pretty dumb. The military isn't the only place where same sex groups of people bunk or shower together. Do you belong to a gym? Then you've showered with gay guys, trust me.

3. Sex in the military is still against the rules - This is the big one. Many right-wingers seem to think that "serving openly" means "behaving as though life is a gay bar." The same rules that apply to straight soldiers will apply to gay ones. So, no sexy times on base. Sorry, you'll just have to look for it on the internet, just like everyone else.

4. There is no sex act practiced by gays that isn't practiced by straights - The ultimate in obvious, yes, but important to point out. For all of their supposed revulsion, FReepers in particular are unusually fixated upon gay sex acts, the more extreme the better. But if a gay person has done it, you can rest assured that a straight person has done it as well. What's more, at upwards of 90% of the population, there are probably more straight people doing it. Oh, and the gerbil thing? Nobody does that, unless they're trying to recreate an urban legend.

5. Gay couples won't be living on base together - Unless the military begins allowing unmarried straights to cohabitate on base, it won't happen with gays either. Since the US Government does not recognize any same-sex marriages, they won't be recognized by the military either.  If same-sex marriage should become legal federally, that could change, and it should.

That's if for now, but surely not the last time I'll write a post like this. The disinformation and willful ignorance of the right is sure to inspire yet another sequel, and Captain Obvious will once again have to point out what should already be. . .obvious.

2 comments:

  1. Well put, James, except the gerbil thing. Several times, I have seen on Tramau:life int he ER or something like that and they have talked about that. Same when I worked at a hospital in Madison, I talked to doctors who dealt with that stuff in the ER.

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  2. Dan, ER stories are a PRIME source of urban legends. According to Snopes, this is one of those ultimate urban legends with NO support. Many and varied items are pulled out of nether regions, but rodents are not one of them. And even if there has been a rash of attempts in a quest to duplicate an urban legend, there is NO evidence that this would be in any way a "gay" thing.

    http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosex/gerbil.asp

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