Headline News: What the Hell Happened?

So, I'm sitting here blogging, eating a home-made low-carb pizza (tasty recipe here), and I'm looking for something on the TV machine to use as background noise. I tried the networks, and didn't find anything worthwhile. I tried Comedy Central, but they were showing the umpteenth broadcast of Scary Movie 4. I tried TV Land, Nick at Nite (which is still in tween-land at this hour), E!. . .and still nothing.

So, I thought I'd try the news. Well, what passes for news in cable-land. MSNBC? Lockup (blechh). FOX "News?" Red Eye. Conservative humor? Nahhh. CNN? A Larry King Live repeat of another guy named Peterson who murdered his wife. Great. OK then, what's on Headline News? Well I turned to it, but I'm not sure how to describe it.

Headline News used to be a 30-minute loop of the news of the day. You could leave it on, and find out a little about everything. But after about an hour and a half, if it was a slow news day, it would get fairly monotonous. Still, there was Lynn Russell, that lady with the brown hair, and the staggeringly bright red lips. She was interesting. Eventually, HN added some prime time shows to their lineup like Glenn Beck (now on FOX) and Nancy Grace. When they did that, they lost me, and I've only rarely landed there since.

Last night, there was a program on called !SSUES. Seriously, that's how they spell it. And there is a woman--I haven't heard her name yet--barking at me. She makes Nancy Grace seem professional, and Glenn Beck appear sane. Awful, just awful. And the subject matter is missing kids, and speculation about whodunnit. What is this crap doing on "Headline News?"

I just looked up the host. Her name is Jane Velez-Mitchell. She's truly dreadful. According to HN's website, "Jane stands up for the powerless, and speaks for those who don't have a voice." Voice is right. The only cable news personality I can think of whose voice hurt my ears worse was Rita Cosby. Trust me, skip it.