Movie Review: Hit and Run

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Every couple of weeks, I try to use the On Demand feature of my cable box, to help justify the cost of my exorbitant monthly fee. Every week, the various channels have a helpful "Just In!" listing, but usually there isn't a lot that interests me. So, I'll drill down the list in the hopes that something jumps out at me. This weekend, I took a chance on a 2008 movie called Hit and Run, which was listed as a thriller.  The synopsis said it was about a girl who goes out drinking, and then goes home, only to find (later) that there is a man impaled on the bumper of her Jeep. Okay, I'm in! (Here there may be spoilers.)

I used to drive a Jeep, and the girl in the movie drove a similar (though older one), making the setup very relatable.  I don't make it a habit to drive drunk--quite the opposite, actually--but in the nine years I owned the Jeep, did I ever drive when I probably shouldn't have?  Nothing jumps immediately to mind, but probably. Luckily, I never hit anything in such a state. In fact, I never hit anything at all at any time in those nine years. Guess I'm due.

Anyway, the film starts out with the girl's night at the bar, and then the long (very long) drive to her house. The credit sequence is very splashy, which is weird. And the "near miss" she thinks she had along the way, and the unobstructed headlight spray from her Jeep made her unknown "hit and run" rather implausible.  The girl's behavior afterward to cover up her actions are also a little over-the-top.

Things calm down a bit, and her marginally ethical boyfriend decides to help her. And then he doesn't, then does again.  Boyfriend gets iced by the presumed dead victim, and hereafter, the film makes no sense whatsoever.  We find out via a news report that the victim was bipolar. So is the movie. It veers wildly from scenes of relative--if tense--calm, to outrageously manic.  Our bipolar victim becomes mindless killer, seemingly indestructible. He is also somehow all-knowing, aware of the girl's identity, address, and phone numbers.

Countless wild rides in the Jeep go to-and-fro, with the victim and the girl alternately having the advantage. Several return trips are made to the scene of the crime, and my finger hovered over the "stop" button many times. I should've gone with that impulse.  There was no one to root for in this movie, not the girl, her boyfriend, the victim or even his family.  The girl turned out to be somewhat indestructible (and bonkers) herself, surviving a severe bite, multiple stabbings, and a long ride strapped to her own bumper (which was rammed at least once into another car).  To top it off, it was obvious that the ending was trimmed to exclude the survival of the victim, just by the slow zoom to the one good eye he had left. His eye didn't open, but I'm positive they filmed it.

I thought when I started typing this review that there might be something coming that would tie this film together. I thought they might explain how the girl was found out. Nope.  The movie just gets worse and worse, and at times reminded me of the abysmally bad Truth or Dare? A Critical Madness, the low-rent, cult 80s slasher movie.  This one doesn't even merit "so bad, it's good" status.

Avoid at all costs.